#hp plot holes

"Hogwarts is the safest place there is."—Allegedly.

✔ This quote (or a close version of it) comes from Hagrid, who says:

“Hogwarts is the safest place in the world for something like the Philosopher’s Stone, apart from Gringotts.”

📌 Dumbledore indirectly supports this claim, as he is the one who allows the Stone to be kept there under school protection.

But oh, darling. The irony. The Golden Trio? They lived through all of this—year after year, chaos after chaos—and still got homework assigned like none of it ever happened.

We know from jkrs super thought out "wizards used to shit wherever and hex it away" post that Hogwarts did not get built with plumbing.

And yet - the Basilisk travels through PIPES. What fucking pipes? And the entrance is in a BATHROOM. A facility which - according to the wizarding worlds assigned insane defactation habits - DID NOT EXIST IN THE CASTLE.

This arises the following questions: How did Salazar Slytherin think this would work? Did he just build random pipes into the walls and the others failed to notice this? Did the chamber simply not have and entrance and MC Snake thought that someone in the future surely would figure that one out for him? (Also, what did the Basilisk eat for the hundreds of years it was locked in there? Animal cruelty!!!) And what did the person who eventually installed the plumbing and bathrooms think they were doing there? They must have seen the entrance when placing a fucking sink over a giant hole, right? Did they not question why there were pipes already? Was the plumber also beseeched by Salazars influence even after his death?

from what i’ve seen in canon they literally just go around tormenting people and harry has been close to being kissed so SO many times it’s honestly unacceptable

We need to talk about the sprawling, perilous wilderness bordering the castle—a forest so infamous it's literally called Forbidden. And yet, it somehow doubles as the school's preferred disciplinary playground.

🌲 The Forbidden Forest: Hogwarts’ Most Reckless Detention Policy

Let’s start with the name—“Forbidden”—and immediately ask: why is it directly accessible from the castle lawn?

Students are sent into the Forbidden Forest for detention. As a punishment. At the age of eleven. Often unsupervised, or led by Hagrid and Fang, which is about as secure as a wet parchment barrier.

Inside the forest:

Acromantulas (giant, human-eating spiders)

Centaurs, who are hostile to interference

Dragons, yes—dragons—were temporarily kept in the Forbidden Forest during the Triwizard Tournament. Massive, fire-breathing beasts were contained in cages just a short walk from the school lawn. Because what’s a magical academic event without catastrophic risk?

Werewolves, presumed to roam freely

Unicorns, one of which was canonically murdered by Voldemort

Thestrals, only visible to students who have witnessed death (trauma not optional)

Grawp, Hagrid’s younger giant brother, who resides in the forest despite having questionable impulse control

Likely numerous other magical creatures that Hagrid may or may not have introduced, fed, or "accidentally adopted"—and unlike Newt Scamander, who kept his creatures contained in a magically expanded, structured habitat with clear care protocols and protections, Hagrid’s version is more free-range chaos than regulated sanctuary

Let’s also remember that Hagrid at one point had an entire menagerie of magical creatures spilling across the grounds—more than one Hippogriff, numerous blast-ended skrewts, and various questionable acquisitions. Most of these creatures were never seen again in later books, with no explanation of what happened to them. And based on Hagrid’s behaviour—like releasing Aragog into the forest—it’s entirely plausible he simply let them loose into the wilds. It was less a Care of Magical Creatures class and more a barely-contained magical farm leaking into the tree line.

And not to be forgotten—poisonous or aggressive magical plants, some of which may be semi-sentient or carnivorous.

"You’ve broken curfew. Into the forest, child."

Now, not to be dramatic—but while certain professors handed out forest detentions like candy with a death wish, Professor Severus Snape absolutely did not. Not even once. Not even close.

Let’s be abundantly clear: Professor Severus Snape—strict, moody, terrifying in seventeen languages—never sent a single student into the Forbidden Forest for detention. Ever.

Unlike certain other staff members (yes, Minerva, we're looking at you), who thought a late-night stroll into a lethal magical forest was character-building—Snape kept his detentions strictly within castle bounds. Preferably underground. Preferably involving caustic liquids.

When Snape dished out detention, it usually meant:

Touching something slimy and regrettable in a dungeon

Writing long, soul-draining essays on why magical mishaps are Not Funny

Cleaning cauldrons that may or may not have sentient residue

Being glared at for one solid hour while sorting flobberworms by viscosity

Not once—not once—did he say: "Ah, yes. You've misbehaved. Into the murder-forest with you."

Because here’s the truth: Snape liked control. He was not about to outsource his revenge to a tree. Or worse, to Hagrid.

Even at his pettiest, Snape was precise. He didn’t endanger students for the drama. He inflicted guilt, not injury. He curated humiliation like a one-man art gallery.

So no—he didn’t hand students over to the forest and hope they'd stumble into Merlin-knows-what just to prove a point.

And that, ironically, makes him—tragically—one of the more responsible adults at Hogwarts.

And just to remind you how completely unhinged this system truly is... Let’s return to Exhibit A: sending first-years into the murder-forest after curfew. With lanterns. And Hagrid. And Fang (aesthetic, not effective).

Because naturally, if you’ve broken school rules, the best response is to drop you into a magical wilderness filled with centaurs, werewolves, and man-eating spiders. Hogwarts once sent Harry and Draco—both first-years—into it after dusk for detention. With a lantern. And Hagrid. And Fang (who, clearly, is unhelpful). That’s it.

And somehow, no one has launched a formal complaint—or inspected this forest’s wildly unsupervised population. The decision remains one of the most absurd examples of Hogwarts’ disciplinary logic.

🐴 Thestral Carriages: Silent Flight, Zero Safety

Let’s now take a ride—literally—on the invisible Thestral-drawn carriages used to ferry students to and from the train station.

Key issues:

The Thestrals are invisible to most students, which means first-years (and many others) believe they’re being transported by driverless, levitating carriages.

There are no seatbelts, no guards, no harnesses, and no barriers on the sides.

The terrain is rocky and forested, often damp, and the carriages are pulled by skeletal death-horses with wings.

No brief safety explanation. No magical tether. Just vibes.

“Hop on, children. Ignore the potential 30-foot drop.”

And if that wasn’t enough:

The carriages navigate through fog, darkness, and rain, without lights or magical beacons.

No mention of spell cushions, protective enchantments, or even a simple "Hold on."

🧠 Lingering Logic:

The same school that won’t let students enter the kitchens without a password has no problem launching them into the night in invisible, unguided carriages through a monster-filled forest.

Welcome to Hogwarts. Sign this waiver in blood.

⸻

Related Posts:

Hogwarts Security Issues: The Safest Place? Really?

“do you promise to never willingly act with intention to cause someone irreversible harm?”