#howandwhyiwrite

Even writing itself is like a spiritual experience, feeling the shapes flow from underneath your pen, the way you don’t even seem to have to think about spelling or word choice but it come straight from your brain onto the paper and you can savour the peaks, curves and valleys of each letter like it’s a dance. Writing makes me realise what I’m capable of, its the only time I’ve ever felt like I could have an effect on anything as an individual. Writing is at once a deeply personal experience and yet something that allows your thoughts and feelings and ideas and stories to be understood, communicated, interpreted by other people. It allows the shyest of people to be heard and the most tongue-tied to be understood, and i think that’s amazing, everyone should be able to have that power, and i don’t intend to waste something so magical. 

I write to explain the world to myself in metaphor. It’s easier to digest reality coated in similes. I write because sometimes paper listens when no one else can. I write so I can look back-point to a line and say “this-this is how I felt” to see the complexities of emotions in words that rhythm makes everything make sense. I write because even if your world is crashing to the ground you can cave it into something awe worthy. I write so I have hope for tomorrow, so I have knowledge from the past, so I can enjoy the present. Poetry is my form of choice, as dyslexia is a cloud I can’t shift, the lack of need for sense means I can write. Unrequited love poetry is my favourite and I think this is because the best poetry is raw and when the writer is vulnerable because what they’re saying has so much truth to it. My biggest inspiration (Rudy Francisco) said “I write best when I am either falling in love or falling apart”. I write because it makes you feel like you’re not alone. Because poems say more then pictures ever can. Because I like to remember what I felt, why I felt it, and see if after with hindsight I was right. I write because when I was 13 I thought of a metaphor, I wrote it down, which lead to a poem, that metaphor made things click. I write because I like to understand, to learn and when things click it feels like a weight off my shoulders. I write because writing is never finished, you can never stop editing it, and I like that my words can mean one thing to me but something else to other yet the same words will hold so much different meaning.

So don’t even try. 

I write because I can, I can grab a pen and a piece of paper and continuously release my thoughts. I can ease and soothe my mind from all the things that I constantly contemplate on a day to day basis.Writing allows me to feel a joy of being free, everything that I cram into my head is able to be spilled out and piled onto something else, it never has to be logical or entirely true, so long it puts my head at rest. I find that writing is an easier way of having something to communicate with, although it cannot talk and express anything back to what it has received, it can absorb it and make my head feel clear of everything that is trying to be stored away. Its being able to just have something to share the burden onto. I find that the more I think without writing, the more I begin to stress out. I write because I like to visually picture how I feel as well as internally knowing how i’m feeling. I’ve always got so many different ideas in my mind I never know how to express them. This was up until recently, recently I found out that I was able to let my mind flow further and I was able to spread it onto other things. I feel like this, as sometimes there are just somethings that cannot be directly said to a specific person however, instead can only be shared in a more over viewed manor. I share a lot of thoughts with my parents and other relatives and friends, this enables me to build up a knowledge of certain things,ad expand on what i’m thinking although, in some cases sharing how i feel juts isn’t the way my mind is able to cease. I need to do more.. and so alternatively this is to write. What I write about can completely vary, some being more heartfelt than others, but what I do eventually choose completely depends as to what i’m  being surrounded with.

Lastly, I write, and I think this is the same for most writers, because one day when I was very young, I had the desire to. Writing isn’t for everyone, I mean everyone notes things down but not everyone creates work and paints things with words. If you have the desire to write, write! And if you love it then some else is bound to. 

I write because someone once gave me a pen. I write because sometimes it’s easier than speaking, I write because it doesn’t have to make sense, I write because there’s always a subplot in my head, I write because I’m told literal homicide is not the way forward, I write because there are more worlds to discover, I write because I love taboo subjects, I write because sometimes it’s easier to give my turmoil to a helpless character of my own invention, I write because I love relationships, but I hate being in them, I write because I’m fascinated by human emotion, I write because metaphor is beautiful, I write because I know heartbreak, I write because there are no rules, I write because I love sociopaths, I write to apologise, I write to scare, I write to comfort, I write to confront, I write to express, I write because I know loss, I write because I remember, I write because I can be in control, I write because I anything is possible, I write because I don’t want to forget, I write to destroy, I write because I know pain, I write because then I won’t choke on my words, I write because then I can edit, I write because people need stories, I write because people can’t read minds, I write because it can all get intense, I write because there are better places, I write because I like words, I write because things that repulse me sometimes fascinate me, I write because I know love, I write because I love people, I write because I can hide things, I write because it’s up to me, I write because someone said ‘tell me all about it’, I write because I hate people, I write because I don’t understand, I write because if I don’t, who else will?