#house objectum

this can either be very soft and cute or it can be your house (your weird roommate/partner) has seen you crying in your bedroom at 4am about a book or a tv show.

they've seen you shamble out of bed like a goblin to eat shredded cheese out of the fridge (your fridge is probably also concerned about this).

your house has seen you desperately scramble to find your keys, and just to be mischievous, hid them in a cabinet or shelf.

maybe your house will make scary creaking sounds when youre watching a horror movie. or maybe they'll be extra quiet or turn on the lights so you don't get startled.

Buying a new house and finding yourself suspiciously changed as you live there. No one else who enters or stays seem to have this effect. But it's like somehow it picked you, saw into what you desired and thrust it into you before you even knew you wanted it. This change in your body should worry you right? But it doesn't. And you can swear if you lean on the walls you can feel it working. Feel whatever it is this home is doing to you. And any sane person would sell this house an' run. But late at night you can't help but lean on those walls and grip onto anything you can as it molds you. You swear it's just getting more intense. Maybe it knows how much the feeling makes you shiver

Or maybe you take home a new object of affection. A computer maybe? A doll, a toy, a plush, a TV, a weapon? Anything. Whatever it is it can't leave your side. You don't know why but you just feel like it's supposed to be close to you. And everytime you touch it or stare for too long the feeling just gets more intense. So intense you hardly realize as you start to grow into someone new. Your body fits into those old clothes you stored away for no particular reason years ago (and got out for no particular reason now). If this is a curse than it's one you wish to keep on you forever. Others seem baffled as your style, attitude, and body change from a awkward girl to a confident man. You don't see that tho. You see yourself as ascended

Or maybe a robot that doesn't understand being trans all that well and suddenly asks you to educate it. But...you? Why you? Your a woman after all you tell it. This confuses it, expressing so with the little emotive abilities it's current model provides. "Your not a man?" It asks and you nod, wondering where it got that from. Until you find it going through old boxes. You don't mind at first it likes to help clean even though you told it it can relax. But than it pulls out those old photos of you. Both unhappy youthful photos or joyful photos of a teenager with dyed hair and shitty diy clothes. You panic and try to hide them. "Who is he?" It asked about one of the latter. You flush and hide it away "that's me! That's not! Just! Leave those alone okay!" Your feeling defensive so you leave and it lets you. But things feel different. It has stopped using any name to address you. You find more of your clothes altered ever so slightly. You swear you'll say something. But you never do. It says something first. On that night when it became clear robots can feel too, you swear something inside changed. Like your creation learned it's God was just as moldable as it. And it's main purpose is seeing you happy. It's just trying to replicate that smile again it saw in those hidden notebooks. So it's only natural that as you allow it explore your human body just as much as you've explored it, you find yourself panting as it's found ever spot that makes you twitch and groan. it feels so good you can hardly fight as it starts to experiment with words too. Calling you a handsome man as you whimper pathetically. Before you can defend yourself it starts asking you to say it too. One of its first requests. Who would you be to no encourage such amazing advancement. So you pathetically do as your asked as suddenly the pleasure increases, feeling electric. They were holding back on you. "What are you-" you try to ask but it cuts you off to say "I've heard positive reinforcement works best for training. Does it work that way for humans". You realize your in for a much longer night and very changed life after it. But it's hard to be scared when a comforting heat of your own creation holds you and makes sure you feel as much pleasure as you can take

Ive had my weirdo awakening because of the game Date Everything. I do not believe there is a general House character but its genuinly serious discussion of thing theory (something objectums should 100% look up it was very cool to read about) made me think of things very differently. Ive always sort of joke about feeling like im breaking up with someone every time i move but i never really dug into that thought. Until this game encouraged me to look into my relationship with nearly every object.

Ive moved far too many times in my life from reasons of unstable parents to bad living environments. I actively avoid getting any sort of attatched to a place. I fight like a scared dog of that feeling of "home" or any sort of comforting safe space. Because apart of me knows i will likely leave soon. That i have not found the "one" if you want to word it like that. But when I leave. I feel it. Like its reaching out to me to ask if it did its job. I hope it listens to look i give. It listens to my ritual i do in my final hour there. How i take of my shoes and feel the bare floorboards un burdened by furniture. I draw my fingers along the vacant walls now left with a few more marks from my decor. How i stand in every room. Im saying you were perfect. Im saying im sorry i was so scared of you when i had you. But we can touch one last time. I can put on music and dance inside you one last time. Hear my voice echo in the system of walls laid before me. I lay on the floor and look at the ceiling to let it behold me one last time. Gentle fingers of mine flicking every light off slowly as I make my last few steps like im kissing it goodbye. How i clean every house better than it was handed to me. You deserve a beautiful start with whoever holds you next darling

I do not know if every house is different. Maybe they are the same just like i am when i move. Or just like me, it feels shattered with every new location. Forced to become something new. But there is a similar yearning upon first moving in. Two new souls meeting in a barren new start. All my past boxed up and all of its past taken to another place. Im so scared of your vunerable empty halls. I cant help but think of how much it will see of me. My house will hold me as i cry or as i moan or as i hide. It will carry me as i dance and amplify me as i sing. You are so new yet familar

I never really asked myself what that ritual of barefoot examination meant really. It was just all i could do. I needed to say goodbye. I couldnt understand how others could leave a place without taking it in one last time. One last encounter to remember our time together. And the more i thought about it the more it felt similar to eroticism. Or if not sexual, a deep longing love that is always prepared to move on despite the obession. How my head feels light when my barefeet press to the wooden floor. How my fingers twirl on grooves of paint like im trying to please it. To reward it for always being around me even when I refused to connect to it. But in the end i can. In the end we can sway together till i must leave.

The point of this ramble is just to say. I thought this sort of thought process would make moving worse. Make it harder to leave. But really it dosent feel much different other than me understanding it more. But it does make it easier to connect. To accept comfort from it even if i will leave it one day. Its like my homes have taught me without words: love is immortal even though I-and my placement- are not. I cannot disconnect out of fear i have other places to go. Not even if i wanted to.