#hoseok notes

people say you need to overcome your wounds. you have to accept it and get used to it. you have to reconcile and forgive. they say if you do that, you can live. it wasn’t that i didn’t know and couldn’t do it.

seokjin went up on the platform, taehyung following after, and we all blocked the sunlight with our hands and looked up at the platform. there was a strange anxiety, like déjà vu of this event.

the music ended. jimin’s dance also ended. i could see jimin’s face shining with excitement and joy. beside him stood that kid. not long from now, she’ll leave to go abroad. suddenly, our eyes met. i raised my thumb, and she laughed loudly. it was strange.

the two of us walked in the sunlight. a cold wind blew in my heart. my heart is like this, but what is he feeling? how much was his heart torn and broken? how much suffering did he have in his heart? while having those thoughts, i looked up at the sky because i couldn’t look at his face.

as a result of suddenly being out of breath, i reflexively avoided her gaze. i thought it was from dancing for a long while and being short of breath, but that wasn’t the case. i thought she resembled my mother.