Message to Anyone Going Through Mental Health Problems
To you, whose going through a difficult time, constantly battling negative emotions and thoughts in your head. Words aren't enough to describe feelings sometimes, but I'll try my best.
First, I don't completely understand your circumstances, and never will. Only you know yourself best, and what occurred to you. And only you can change yourself.
But that doesn't mean you're alone. No one can survive being alone. We all need consistent love, help, physical connection, affection, loyalty, and support from people we trust every single day of our lives. And when it is missed, things easily get hard. (Text messages from a supportive person are NOT enough).
Even though I don't completely understand what you are going through, I know it's hard. Mental illnesses are so difficult and tiring. I wish I could grab every single negative thought and emotion, every single negative doubt, all your painful shames and/or fear- that has rudely intruded and become tenants in your head- and strangle them and throw them in the trashcan nearest to me, and then burn that trashcan and throw its ashes into a Devil's sinkhole.
You are worth fighting for. You deserve love, care, peace, and everything good. You are infinitely valuable. Your mistakes don't define you; even though you don't believe any of this at the moment. I know it's hard to believe right now, but it's true.
Perhaps, your shames or fears invaded you because of your life circumstance from your childhood. You are allowed to feel angry at the ones who have contributed to causing it, to people who have neglected you, to people who have harmed you. You are allowed to grieve for all your losses and take life slowly. Don't hide and stifle things; express what you feel and stand up for yourself. Be patient and go easy on yourself. And remember that no one is inherently bad. No one.
All of this may seem shallow now, but it's the truth. Sometimes seeing people happy will make you angry, and that's normal. Sometimes a person's comments about you make you feel anxious and cause you to make mistakes. That's okay.
You are not your mistakes. But your mistakes can help in making you.
Find someone trustworthy, that will accept every part of you and be patient with you, and allow them to guide you in getting to know yourself better. There is a lot to learn about yourself.
But remember: only you can change yourself. And change does not come overnight. Yes- it's hard. But becoming mentally stable is POSSIBLE. There is a cure to every illness "There is no disease that Allah has created, except that He also has created its treatment." [Tirmidhi]. But you need to be determined to change yourself. "Indeed, Allah will not change the condition of a people until they change what is in themselves." (Surah Ra'd 11). And you have the tools you need to change yourself and heal. Your emotions, your thoughts, your words, your hands- everything is a means for helping yourself, for taking care of yourself, even when troubling times hit. Everything is going to be okay. "Surely with hardship comes ease” (Surah Asr, 5). The Creator, the best of Planners, the Al-Latif, will surely grant you ease, so ask Him. Pray. He is waiting on your supplication.
Maybe you think my words are shallow right now. You think "people always say things get better, but they never do." Life is unfair, and you feel incapable, feeble, maybe sometimes numb to everything, bitter, or maybe sometimes like your whole world is tumbling down.
Listen. Things do get better. People have gone through hell and come out stronger. Success is followed by hardship. Life throws hardships and uncertainty in our way, but they can be dealt with in ease and gratitude. Life also gifts ease to the ones who seek it within themselves and with their Creator.
But "better times" won't come in the form of a miracle. It'll come in whispers, in gentle caresses, in the smile you give yourself in a mirror. Look inside yourself; the key to healing is you. Look around you; blessings come in different forms. Does this all sound frivolous right now? It's not. One day, you'll realize how true it is.
All of your feelings and thoughts in the moment matter. All of them are justified, even if what you feel today is not what you feel tomorrow. Everything you express in words and writing is also infinitely valuable. But that doesn't mean all of what you feel and think is here to stay forever.
I wish I could help you in your fight against those negative thoughts which plague your mind. I know it's hard. I wish I could hold your hand, hug you, and never let you go from a warm embrace. I wish I could open the blinds of your bedroom and show you what's waiting in your future-- bright possibilities as clear as daylight, if only you'd allow yourself to hope, and give yourself breaks in every journey you embark on and allow yourself to make mistakes, without letting those mistakes leave scars of shame. I know life can also get scary. But you're not alone.
I stand with you and I believe in you. You are in my thoughts and prayers, always.
