#hope thats ok..

hey there! it feels like it’s been a long time since i wrote my own post on here. but there are a few things i want to say. truthfully, this year has not been great. it has not been awful either. it has just been... a lot. i went to many concerts, made new friends, started a new job and traveled to south korea! but i have also lost people who i admired and looked up to, the climate change has been stressing me out so much, and well... more bad stuff at home. 

i made a lot of big steps in my anxiety and depression, but my eating disorder is still pretty much as strong as it was at the beginning of this year, and the year before that too. i still feel very stuck there. (i know i must just DO IT, but i am so scared that i just never take the leap) 

anyways, with ups and downs, there have been some people on here who have made me happy throughout this year, and i just wanted to write something to them. 

@narnianfarmer my dear Linda, i have only gotten to know you this year, but you are already such a bright star to me. seeing you on my dashboard instantly makes me smile; i love your blog, your posts, your kind words, and everything else. may we meet one day and cuddle cows together! 

@lasaraleen Jessie, such a lovely and cheerful girl you are with so many emotions and ways to express them. you are a joy to this world, and you really feel like a big sister to me - someone who i can come to no matter what. i hope that you can give yourself the same care that you offer to others. be well <3

@lucypcvensie you might be the coolest person i know Eysha, seriously. you are so easy to talk to and you have dazzling aura. i know school can be really hard and overwhelming, but i know you have the strength to get trough it. you are capable of so much. be your own superhero; don’t doubt your abilities! and let’s talk some more about BTS next year ^u^

@susansarrows Caitlyn, my angel, you aren’t on here very often anymore, but still you make me so so happy! when i do see you pop on here from time to time, my heart does a little jump! wherever you are, and whatever is going on in your life, i hope you can find the strength and hope that you need to make it. know that no matter what, i am here for you. 

@cinthia37 we have been talking for a long time already, haven’t we, Cinthia? perhaps we don’t talk as much as we used to, but still, each time i see your username, my heart fills with joy. you’re a beautiful person, i hope you are doing alright.

@calormen Dorian, i don’t know much about you and we don’t talk very often, but your contribution to this fandom has been so great that i just needed to thank you. your art is outstanding! and you work so hard. thank you for blessing us with such masterpieces.

@clearnorthernskies hey Calorine, i know you are new here, but i am already so happy you have decided to join this fandom. your tags are a joy to read and i love your writing too! (although i still need to catch up with it) i hope that you have been enjoying your time here for now. never be afraid to reach out.

but, to all my followers, to the people who make edits and artwork and moodboard and anything, to those i spoke to in discords, to those i have only spoken to once, to those who send me messages (on anon or not), or whoever may be reading this, i love you all so much. i really do see and appreciate every single on of you. i look at your blog and check what you write in the tags, i see your activity, and i couldn’t be more thankful that you all chose to follow me. i’m always wishing you kindness, warmth and eternal happiness. 

may 2020 make all your dreams come true <3