Our Dream of Fire
I haven’t been with him every step of the way of achieving his dream. We met somewhere in the middle of it all, but it hadn’t become our dream just yet. At the time it was still just his dream, and the job that he wanted to pursue. We were just two people who had met each other at a very awkward time in our lives, well at least I know mine was awkward. I was in between the semesters that lead up to my returning to Nursing school, and he was just starting out in his college courses for Criminal justice. In hopes that it would transgress into a Firefighting program that the college was currently in the process of working on integrating. I remember the first time I met him, and listening to his trials and emergency situations that had helped lead him to becoming a full time fireman. At the time he was a volunteer fireman at his in limit fire station (and at the time of writing this, I have received a text of him going to another said emergency.) I had no clue at the point in time, listening to him talk about one of his fire calls, that I would have fallen so in love with the man sitting before me. Over the course of 6 or so months, our friendship grew, and we talked more and more explaining about what the other wanted to do with their life. I was oblivious to the fact that my friend, had developed feelings for me. At the time I was involved with another person, whom would end up out of the picture for unforeseen circumstances. At which point, he stepped up, and like the gentleman he is gave me space and time, but also wanted to make sure that I knew that he wanted to be given a chance to prove that I deserved more. That he in fact could give me exactly what he thought it is that I deserved, and how I deserved to be loved. I took the chance, and I am without complaint that it has by far been the greatest chance that I have ever taken. In that point and time, all that seemed to matter most was that he pushed me through my next coming semesters of Nursing school. His schooling was very much important to me, but it felt as if he was pushing me forward as he had decided to go back to work. The program in which was said to have integrated fire science classes had not gone through as planned, at which point he wanted to focus on my schooling. Although he would eventually go back to school and receive his Associates in Criminal justice, all the while working a full time job. I, however, did not make it through my second time of going into Nursing school either, it was a heartbreak for us both. He felt my pain, but he did not let me falter and constantly told me that he was proud of my efforts. This point in time, I would go to working fulltime hours for little to nothing pay. While he would continue to work his full time position at a new job, as well as working on his family’s farm, and volunteering still at his local fire department. All I can remember during this time was his drive to find a fulltime fighting positon. He applied for many before getting call backs to come in and take the competency exams, the physical exams, the interviews. Many a no, many a miss later, the heartbreak did not break him, nor us. I kept pushing, as my dreams are currently on hold, it was my turn to push him through, to be his rock and to be there for him. He always wanted me there, naturally I couldn’t go through the tests with him, but I was waiting for him, in the vehicle, or a phone call away for the results he would give me. The relentless waiting continued, as he went for one agility portion, missing it by a mere second. The heartbreak was real, for not only him but us both. Not because of the future that this job would bring us, but I hurt for him because he felt like he had failed. I couldn’t let him feel that way, I had been there, it was a dark place. He was hurting, the disappointment in himself, I could feel it rolling off of him in waves. There was a position out there for him, it would come, we just needed to be patient. Months came and went, application after application, notice of when he would be able to test again for other positions when they became available. The waiting game was no fun, but in the mean while graduation came, the associates degree came in the mail. He did not walk the stage, but we celebrated by going to one of our favorite places and began to wonder if their fire departments were hiring. A slight humorous talk, before getting back to reality and back to work at home. The ever busy man, still working full time, working on the family farm once returning from the other job, and then sleepless nights as the tones would drop from his volunteer department. Many a night where he didn’t want to talk about it, so we sat in silence, many a time where he did talk about it and I could hear the hurt in his voice, and many more a night where I could hear the pride in which he spoke about his dream career. A screenshot of an email, that he would know his fate of another position that he had applied for months and months ago. The gap was closing as they would have finally made their decisions, but still it was more than two weeks away. The anticipation was in every single night time phone call, the countdown to the day that we would hear something. Distractions were becoming almost non-existent as the gap closed, and on the day of the notification I had slept poorly the night before. Praying, and anxious. My heart pounding for a good outcome, but also waiting for him to get back home safely from a call for his volunteer department. So we both had sleepless nights, just on different ends of the spectrum. The day was finally here, the day that we would know had he gotten the full time positon on this department or not. I waited by the phone, and he was at work. Why does it seem that news takes slower through e-mail then it does a phone call? The call from him came in at 10:53 a.m. June 20, 2017. He said, I’m going in for turnout fitting on the 26th. Naturally I was a little confused, especially with the tone of his voice. What does that mean? I asked. I’m hired is what he said next. I squealed in the phone, my heart bursting for the man I loved so much. He has taken a leap toward his dream job, and now just comes the academy.
