#hongjoon

Forever, if you want

Pairing: Hongjoong x f!reader

Genre: fluff

Word count: 1,5k

Trigger warnings: none

MASTERLIST

The night air is soft against your skin, carrying the faint scent of pine and the crisp chill that comes with late spring. You pull your jacket tighter around your shoulders and glance over at Hongjoong, who’s sprawled beside you on the blanket, his head propped up on one arm, eyes glued to the sky.

“You’re really into this, huh?” you tease gently, nudging his side with your elbow. He grins without looking at you.

“The stars have stories, you know. And I like imagining them.”

You can’t help but smile at how animated he gets when he talks about things he loves. It’s one of the things that makes your heart do that little, uncontrollable flip every time. You shift closer to him, letting the warmth of his shoulder brush against yours.

“Stories, huh?” you murmur. “What story are we looking at tonight?”

He finally turns toward you, eyes sparkling in the dim light of the lantern you’d set up. “Maybe… a story about two people who keep sneaking glances at each other instead of the stars.”

Your cheeks heat up instantly, and you look down at your hands, fumbling with the corner of the blanket. “Oh… is that all?” you whisper, though your voice betrays the small, happy flutter in your chest.

“Maybe it’s the beginning of a very good story,” he says softly, and there’s something in his tone that makes you look up at him immediately. His eyes aren’t just sparkling?they’re gentle, warm, and fixated on you in a way that makes the world shrink until it’s just the two of you.

You inhale sharply, your heart racing. “Hongjoong…” you start, but the words get caught somewhere between your heart and your throat.

He reaches out, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear, and your breath hitches. “Y/N,” he murmurs, voice low and careful, “can I…?”

Before you can answer, he leans closer, and you feel the heat from his lips even before they touch yours. Your eyes flutter shut, and your body responds before your brain does. It’s gentle at first, tentative, like testing the waters, but there’s an undeniable warmth that spreads through you, a feeling of being completely seen and cherished.

Your hands find his shoulders, gripping softly, while his hands cup your face, thumb brushing along your cheek. The world around you—the chilly night air, the soft rustling of leaves, the faint scent of pine—fades into a blur. All that exists is this moment: soft, perfect, and utterly yours.

When he pulls back slightly, just enough for you to open your eyes, he’s smiling nervous, shy, and completely sincere. “Was that okay?” he asks softly.

You can’t stop the grin from spreading across your face. “More than okay,” you whisper, leaning in impulsively to press your forehead against his. “That was… amazing.”

He laughs quietly, a sound that makes your stomach do little flips. “I’ve been thinking about that for… a while,” he admits, voice low, almost secretive. “I didn’t want to rush it, but…”

You reach up to press a hand to his chest, feeling the steady beat of his heart beneath your palm. “I’m glad you didn’t rush,” you say softly. “This… this feels perfect.”

He leans down again, forehead to forehead, and his lips brush yours in a quick, teasing peck before settling back into a softer, more lingering kiss. You feel your fingers tangle in his hair, pulling him closer, and you realize that your heart is trying to explode from how full it feels.

“Y/N…” he murmurs between kisses, voice thick with emotion. “I’ve wanted to do that for so long.”

You shake your head, smiling against his lips. “You don’t have to say it. I know.”

For a while, you just lie there, letting the quiet hum of the night surround you. The stars glitter above like scattered diamonds, but somehow, none of them feel as bright as Hongjoong’s gaze when it finds yours.

Eventually, he sits up a little, pulling you gently into his lap so you’re straddling him. The movement is intimate but comfortable, and your hands rest naturally on his shoulders. He wraps his arms around you, and you lean into him, letting the warmth of his body seep into yours.

“You’re really warm,” you mumble, nuzzling your cheek against his neck.

“Only for you,” he replies, and your heart threatens to burst. You glance up at the sky again, but the stars don’t feel nearly as important as they did before. They’re beautiful, yes, but Hongjoong, sitting here with you, is everything.

“Do you think… we could stay like this for a while?” you ask softly.

He smiles down at you, brushing a gentle kiss over your temple. “Forever, if you want.”

You laugh quietly, the sound mingling with the whisper of the wind through the trees. “Forever sounds good,” you agree, resting your head on his shoulder.

And there, under a blanket of stars and wrapped in the warmth of his arms, you feel the kind of happiness that makes the world feel both infinite and intimate all at once.

Ateez lore edit I made a while ago!!

This was meant to be posted over at tt but it kept getting muted so…

I’m lowk extremely new to posting stuff here so I hope this goes well. (ᵕ≀ ̠ᵕ )

!!!MDNI!!!!

here's part 4!! part 1 , 2 , and 3 linked!! i still havent finished soobin fic guyssssss. i lowkey think writing mlm is easier ??? idkkk, anywyas plz enjoy and shoutout to my atiny bestie for test reading and for all the funny comments they left on my google doc ♥ Link to Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

Pairing: Frat Boy Chan X Graduate Teaching Assistant Hongjoon

CW: alcohol, oral (male receiving/giving), erm sort of public sexual *activities* if you will, and uhhhh, alcohol consumption....erm. awks idk what else sozz mate

Word Count: 9.9k out of 28.7k

not proofread and also im dyselcic, so I'm sorry if anything is spelled absolutely terribly

inspired by these tweets!!!

EARLY DECEMBER 2025 - LAST DAY OF THE SEMESTER 

Chan had finished packing up his dorm and was now helping Hyunjin try and fit all his things in the three boxes he had managed to buy last-minute from a convenience store a few blocks away.  

“Why didn’t we get an off-campus apartment earlier, bro?”

“'Cause we’re broke?”

Hyunin wiped his brow and shook his head. Chan, Hyunjin, and Minho had gotten together to get an apartment for their last semester, and although they still had another week to finish emptying their dorm, Dino had invited all the guys to his parents' cabin, and they wouldn’t be back until after their move-out date. Chan still hadn’t responded to whether or not he would be joining them, as he was hoping he might be able to see Hongjoon over the winter break. He also still hadn’t spoken to Hongjoon about the possibility of seeing each other now that he wasn’t his student. 

“Can I put some of my clothes with your stuff? I don’t have any more room.”

Chan rolled his eyes at Hyunjin but nodded at him.

“You are so lucky I am an excellent packer.”

“Dude, shut up.

Hyunjin threw a pillow at Chan before he started stuffing his clothes into one of Chan’s half-filled boxes. The two boys finished shoving Hyunjin’s belongings into whatever crevices they could find in Chan’s neatly packed boxes, before texting Minho for a pick up. 

to h: u in ur office 2day?

from h: Maybe. 

from h: Why? 

to h: didn’t wanna walk halfway across campus before checking 

from h: Suspicious…

from h: I’ll be here until like 4 ish :) 

“Stop texting your little boyfriend and help me bring these boxes down.”

“I’m not text-”

“Chan, I don’t care. Please help.”

Chan used his desk chair to prop open the door of their dorm, and Hyunjin headed down first. Minho’s dad was going to lend him the truck for moving into the new apartment, but Minho ended up asking for it earlier, as they wouldn’t be moving in until January and needed to drop off their things at Dino’s. Chan grabbed two boxes and headed down so Hyunjin could go back for more of the boxes, alternating who was waiting for Minho, until all their stuff was out of the dorm. 

“Wanna get food after we drop off at Dino’s?”

“I have some stuff I still need to do on campus, so probably not.”

Hyunjin nodded, but smirked as he looked away from Chan, knowing he most likely meant he had an end-of-the-semester hook-up already scheduled. 

to h: odds you brought cookies

from h: So very extremely low. :p 

“There’s Minho. Let’s go.”

----------

By the time they finished unloading all their boxes into Dino’s garage, Chan had been bombarded with millions of questions about why he still hadn’t said yes to the winter break trip. Dino and Hyunjin had also banded together to try and get Chan to talk about who he had been texting with, but he was extremely tight-lipped. Dino had given up on getting more information from him halfway through the drive back to campus, but Hyunjin continued hurling questions at Chan even as Minho drove away. Chan laughed, shaking his head, and flipped Hyunjin off before turning to head to Hongjoon’s office. Chan’s nerves started rising as the familiarity of the path he was taking struck him. He hadn’t realized he had made up his mind on asking Hongjoon for more than just a flirtatious friendship until this very moment, and he was scared.

What if he pulls away completely?

Chan shook his head, trying to dissolve the ‘what ifs' forming in his mind as he knew they would cloud him and he’d lose any courage he may have built up as he knocked on Hongjoon’s door for what might be the last time.

“Please don’t tell me you’re here for extra credit.”

Chan shook his head as he entered Hongjoon’s office, and Hongjoon smiled at him from his chair.

“Good, because I already submitted final grades to Dr. Lorenzo.”

Chan nodded, swallowing nervously.

“So does that mean you’re no longer my GA?”

Hongjoon shrugged.

“Technically speaking, I’m still your GA. At least until the semester is officially over at like 6 p.m. tonight?”

Chan sighed in disappointment. 

“Why?”

Hongjoon feigned curiosity, having already guessed why Chan had posed that question. He watched as Chan closed his office door and locked it, turning back to look at him. The darkness of Chan’s eyes made Hongjoon lose his breath momentarily.

“This is strictly a hypothetical.”

“Chan…”

Chan walked over ot Hongjoon’s desk, pulling out the chair across from him and sitting down.

“Just hypothetically, Hongjoon.”

Hongjoon rolled his eyes, giving Chan the floor.

“Let’s say that a week from now, once the semester is over, that one of the undergrads in a class you were previously the GA for…”

“Chan, you know-”

Chan crossed his arms and shook his head.

“No, I don’t. That’s why I’m asking very nicely.”

“I could get fired. Worse, I could get kicked out of my master's program.”

“Only if people find out.”

Hongjoon scoffed.

“Your job and degree aren’t on the line, so of course you’d say that.”

Chan didn’t respond. He knew there were no repercussions for him, but he couldn’t go on pretending they were friends and nothing more.

“Can they reprimand you for actions taken not during the semester?”

Hongjoon tilted his head.

“What do you mean?”

“During winter break, if something were to happen. Can you get in trouble?”

Hongjoon bit his lip, considering Chan’s words carefully, before nodding. It didn’t matter when or how things happened; if anyone found out, he’d be done. Chan leaned back in the chair, and his shoulders slumped.

“So what? We have to wait for you to graduate to be able to fuck?”

Hongjoon laughed and shook his head.

“No, we have to wait for you to graduate to be able to fuck.”

It was Chan’s turn to roll his eyes. The tension in their unbreakable eye contact felt heavy in the air, only being broken when Hongjoon walked over to unlock his door, leaving it closed, as he knew being caught with an undergrad and a locked door could be implicating. Hongjoon sat back down across from Chan and pulled his phone out.

“This is already an issue. We shouldn’t be texting. Can you be okay with just that for now?”

“Hongjoon, I’m okay with never speaking to you again until the end of spring semester if it means there’s a possibility sometime in the future.”

Hongjoon shook his head at Chan’s eagerness.

“You might not have a crush on me anymore by then.”

“Shut up.”

Chan smiled softly.

“There are no rules about us being openly friends, but I don’t know if…either one of us would be able to keep it friendly.”

“Friends kiss sometimes.”

Hongjoon sighed as he realized Chan would never let him forget the drunken makeout session he had with Seonghwa earlier in the semester.

“I didn’t even know you existed outside of class when that happened. You can't be upset about that.”

“I don’t have the slightest idea what you are referring to.”

Chan flashed Hongjoon a goofy smile.

“Well, if you're ever done being a rule-following goody two-shoes, let me know.”

Hongjoon nodded, glancing at the closed door of his office before reaching out for Chan’s hand. He instantly knew it was a terrible idea as the fire of their hands touching ignited something he had been trying so hard to keep at bay.

“Are you going back home for break?”

The tone of Hongjoon’s voice surprised even him, as though he was watching this interaction from outside his own body. Chan caressed Hongjoon’s palm softly with his thumb.

“No.”

Chan felt a need for Hongjoon that he, until this very moment, hadn’t let fully engulf him, rise as he watched Hongjoon’s eyes flicker down to his lips. 

“Fuck, this is such a bad idea.”

Chan leaned forward in his chair expectantly just as Hongjoon pulled his hand away.

“I think you should leave. This can’t happen. Especially not in my fucking office.”

Chan blushed as his brain reminded him of a thought he had about Hongjoon’s office earlier in the semester.

“I could…be really quiet.”

“Christopher…no.”

Hongjoon’s shallow breath let Chan know he wasn’t the only one with a vivid imagination.

“You could be really quiet?”

“There’s no way you think the issue is who tops.”

Chan shrugged as any logical thought left his body. They both jumped as someone knocked on Hongjoon’s door, and Chan sat up straight in his chair.

“Come in!”

“Did your phone die or some shit?”

Chan turned his head and saw Seonghwa standing at the door. 

“What? No.”

“Oh, hello there.”

Chan gave Seonghwa a half nod in acknowledgment of his greeting, afraid his voice might betray him.

“It’s a little late in the semester to be taking advantage of office hours, no?”

“Seonghwa.”

Chan bit back a chuckle at Seonghwa’s comment, but wasn’t able to hold it back as Seonghwa made eye contact with him.

“You’re laughing? Do you even realize what he’s implying?”

Chan covered his mouth with his hand, turning back to look at Hongjoon.

“Dude, you have to admit that was funny.”

“I like this one. Can we keep him?”

Hongjoon leaned back in his chair, throwing his hands up.

“Why do I even try? No, Seonghwa, we cannot keep  him.”

“Whatever, are you coming to dinner or not?”

Chan watched Hongjoon reach for his phone.

“Probably not, I still have stuff to do. Now, if you’ll excuse us, we were in the middle of a conversation.”

“Fine, but don’t come crying to me when you're eating take-out instead of a home-cooked meal…again.”

Seonghwa shut the door quietly, leaving them alone.

“That was terrifying.”

“Which is why you should leave. It is literally taking every ounce of my willpower to not…fucking hell, Christopher. I’ll call you later tonight, yeah?”

Chan shook his head.

“I’m staying at one of my Brother’s houses until we can move into our apartment next month.”

“Come over then.”

Hongjoon spoke before he could think, and Chan’s jaw dropped. Neither of them said a word, their eyes searching the other's face for a semblance of a reaction. Chan shut his eyes for a brief moment to attempt and bring logic back into his thoughts. Hongjoon ran a hand through his hair, unsure as to why he would ask Chan to go over to his apartment after so blatantly shutting down his advances earlier.  

“Maybe we don’t jeopardize your career and degree?”

“Yes, yeah. Good idea.”

Chan opened his eyes and nodded slowly before standing up to leave.

“I think I should go before…”

“That would probably be for the best.”

Hongjoon stood up, wanting to walk Chan out, but as he stepped out from behind his desk, he felt the dam break. Chan audibly gasped as Hongjoon grabbed the back of his neck, crashing his lips onto his. The kiss wasn't tender or loving; it felt primal the way Hongjoon nipped at him. They stumbled backwards until Chan’s back hit the door, his hands gripping at Hongjoon’s neatly tucked-in shirt, trying desperately to feel more of him. Chan melted into him as he realized that he was living out one of his many fantasies. Hongjoon pried himself away from Chan’s soft lips as he gasped for air. 

“Fuck.”

Chan mumbled back in agreement, bringing his hand up to angle Hongjoon’s face to the side, peppering small kisses across his jawline.

“We should stop.”

“We should.”

Hongjoon used the hand he had around Chan’s waist to start prying his jacket off as Chan moved on to start suckling on his neck. They both knew this was the worst thing they could be doing; it felt almost sacrilegious to Hongjoon, like he was defiling his sacred work space, but it didn’t matter. Nothing mattered as he reached for Chan’s belt and started undoing it, forcing Chan to pull away. Chan gritted his teeth, pleading to any otherworldly universal cosmos that would listen to him as he attempted to stay silent, but watching as Hongjoon dropped to his knees in front of him broke any semblance of restraint Chan was still holding onto. His left hand immediately braced itself against the wall to stabilize himself as his right hand went for the back of Hongjoon’s head. Hongjoon had completely pulled Chan’s belt off and tossed it somewhere over his shoulder, pulling Chan’s jeans down just as he felt his hand grab the back of his head. 

“Hands to yourself, Christopher.”

Not being able to form a coherent thought, let alone words, Chan simply moaned back in response, releasing Hongjoon’s hair from his grip. Hongjoon drooled at the thought of making Chan lose himself as he slowly pulled the waistband of his boxers down. 

“Please, Hongjoon.”

Hongjoon pushed Chan’s waist so it was flush against the door, taking him fully in his shaky hand. A soft whimper spilled from Chan as Hongjoon’s tongue dangerously swirled over his tip, and his hand torturously lingered over the base of his desperate cock.

“So pretty.”

“Hongjoon, please. Please just do something. Anything. More, so much more, please.”

Hongjoon’s lips finally connected to his skin again, but he didn't give in to Chan’s pleas. He was determined to take his time, especially with seeing how ruined Chan already was. Desperate, leaking, and being so good for him, Hongjoon could not have imagined a better scenario as he took Chan’s full length in his mouth, freeing his hands to grip his thighs. Chan was trying to be so still for Hongjoon, but he was already so close, and Hongjoon hadn’t even started to move yet. Hongjoon bobbed his head at an agonizingly slow pace, causing Chan’s moans to pick up in volume as he attempted to buck his hips.

“You…you’re so. Hongjoon, fuck.”

Hongjoon’s expert mouth sucked around a throbbing and twitching Chan, who felt like he was ascending to the heavens. The lewd sounds filling the office made Hongjoon hum in satisfaction, causing a vibration to topple Chan over the edge as his breathing got shallower and he forgot he was supposed to at least try to be quiet. Guttural and desperate moans tumbled past his mouth as he looked back down at Hongjoon.

“Hongjoon, so close. Please. More.”

He felt his knees start to give out, and he knew he was going to finish after an embarrassingly short amount of time. Hongjoon had barely even begun to move, and he was already trying his hardest to hold on. Chan’s hair was sticking to his sweat-slicked forehead, and Hongjoon, looking up at him with the most innocent doe eyes as he sucked his dick, was not helping. Hongjoon was using his tongue to trace every vein on Chan, trying to memorize everything before picking up his speed. Feeling as Hongjoon hollowed out his cheeks, Chan grunted, enticing Hongjoon to pull his mouth completely off. 

“You’re doing so good, Christopher.”

Tears were forming at the edge of Chan’s eyes as Hongjoon continued to edge him with his hands, not relenting.

“Chris, you need to shut up before someone hears you.”

Chan nodded, covering his mouth in an attempt to muffle his pathetic whimpers as he watched Hongjoon wipe his mouth with the back of his hand after licking his lips. Hongjoon’s own arousal was starting to blind him, and he wasn’t sure if it was Chan’s want for him or his own shameful desire that caused him to commit the cardinal sin of sucking off one of his students in his office. They were both aware of the danger they were putting themselves in, but the thrill of being caught made everything that much more electrifying. 

“Enough of this. Are you okay to wait until we get to my place?”

An embarrassingly almost childlike whine emitted from Chan as Hongjoon tucked him back into his boxers and did his jeans up for him.

“Wha-at? You’re gonna make me…wait?”

Hongjoon nodded as he turned to look for Chan’s belt, and he picked up the jacket he had practically ripped off him from the ground. When he turned back around, Chan was wiping a few tears away.

“You’re so mean. I was so close!”

He handed Chan his belt and adjusted himself in his jeans before smoothing out his wrinkled shirt.

“I promise I will take such good care of you, but Chan. We can’t do this here.”

Chan pouted.

“But-”

“Christopher. Enough.”

Chan’s breath got caught in his throat. Hongjoon had actually chastised him.

“I promise I’ll be-”

Chan shut his mouth the instant Hongjoon stopped gathering his things and looked up at him. He had never seen such an aggravated look on Hongjoon’s face before. It excited him. 

“If you want to be rewarded, you need to learn how to fucking listen.”

“Okay.”

Chan nodded, but Hongjoon’s annoyance didn’t dissipate.

“Who said you could speak?”

Chan’s hands were shaking as he attempted to put his belt back on. He could come with just the way Hongjoon was treating him, and an involuntary moan escaped him at Hongjoon’s question. Hongjoon rolled his eyes at Chan’s response and chuckled to himself.

“Of course you’d like being talked to like that. Be patient and wait to get back to my place, and I will suck your dick, fuck you, whatever you want. Just be patient.”

Hongjoon finished packing up his things and walked over to Chan. He adjusted Chan’s shirt and stole a kiss before moving him out of the way to open his office door. Hongjoon made sure the coast was clear before fully opening the door and signaling Chan to follow him.

“Where’d you park?”

“My car’s still at the dorm parking.”

Hongjoon nodded as they exited the building, the crisp winter air knocking sense back into both of them. 

“That was so fucking stupid.”

Chan giggled in agreement.

“I’ll text you my addy, we definitely shouldn’t be seen leaving together.”

“Okay.”

Neither of them moved. Chan wanted to clarify he wasn’t looking for a one-night stand situation, and Hongjoon felt the need to explain that he’s never been a hook-up-only kind of guy. Hongjoon liked Chan much more than he ever planned to, but he knew it was wrong to start a relationship with someone who was technically still his student. Chan had never wanted something so badly before, and he was terrified of admitting that to anyone. He was scared that starting something with Hongjoon would shove him back in the closet, as he knew he’d have to keep it a secret from his friends. Chan didn’t want to be hiding, but for Hongjoon, Chan would sneak around as long as he needed him to. 

“I’ll see you in a bit, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Hongjoon walked away first, pulling his phone out to text Chan his address and remembering to reply to the dinner invite in his friends' group chat. As he approached his car, he dialed Seonghwa’s number. If anyone could help him decide what was best, it was him. 

“Did you change your mind on dinner or something?”

“Seonghwa. I need your help.”

The seriousness in his voice pulled any playfulness right out of Seonghwa. Hongjoon explained the situation to Seonghwa as he drove home and even ended up crying to him about how guilty he felt knowing he was doing this with the same guy who had hurt one of their friends. Seonghwa listened to Hongjoon’s worries and helped him come to terms with the fact that he wanted so much more with Chan than he thought he did. Hongjoon knew his friends would ultimately support him, but he wasn’t so sure how pursuing a relationship with Chan would look like to the university. 

“Look, Wooyoung will probably shit on you for a bit, but ultimately, I don’t think he would actually care. And the fact that you fucking called me and told me everything that happened makes it clear to me you aren’t just looking for sex with this guy. You like him, Hongjoon, like a lot more than I personally think you should, given the circumstances.”

“I know. I feel like a fucking idiot. I should have stopped it a long time ago, but I like him, Seonghwa. He’s so smart and funny, and he makes me feel like…he makes me feel like. Fucking hell. This shit sucks so much. I invited him over. I gave him my address, and I invited him over.”

Seonghwa didn’t respond.

“Am I stupid? Do I tell him not to come?”

Hongjoon stopped at the red light right before his street.

“I can’t answer that for you, Hongjoon. What I can tell you is that you can’t be all lovey-dovey on campus with him. And you need to talk to him because he needs to be okay with not telling his friends. This conversation needs to happen before you two go any further than you already did.”

“Right. Okay. Talk first-”

“Fuck later, exactly.”

Hongjoon laughed as he pulled into his parking spot.

“Thank you.”

“Of course. Let me know when you’re ready to tell Wooyoung, though. You are definitely gonna need backup for that.”

They said their goodbyes, and Hongjoon continued hyping himself up as he headed to his door. 

to h: Hereee, where park?

from h: Near building 5.

from h: I’ll meet you at the door (: 

Chan found an empty spot and parked. His nerves were shot, and he genuinely thought he wasn’t going to be able to go through with anything. 

What if he only wants a one-night kind of thing?

Chan got out of his car and texted Hongjoon to let him know he was by the front door, waiting patiently and slightly on edge. 

“Hey, come on.”

Hongjoon smiled at Chan, holding the door open for him, leading him up to his apartment. Neither of them spoke, and Chan followed a few steps behind, still trying to figure out how to make his wants known. As they entered Hongjoon’s place, Chan’s nerves became worse, and he froze at the entrance.

“Uhm…can we-”

“Talk first? Yes, please.”

Kicking his shoes off, Chan shut the door behind him and followed Hongjoon into his living room, sitting across from him in one of the armchairs.

“I kind of panicked and called Seonghwa as soon as I got in my car, and I told him…everything.”

“Oh fuck.”

Hongjoon slowly went over his conversation with Seonghwa and explained to Chan that he didn’t want to force him into hiding by being with him, as he didn’t think it was fair to make him hide when he had just gotten comfortable with being out. Chan echoed his sentiments and divulged all the fears he was having about going any further with Hongjoon, who, understandingly, thanked Chan for being so open with him. They took turns sharing their anxieties about what would happen next and how things would change if they went any further. Chan didn’t want to hide, and the fact that he was willing to for Hongjoon was frightening for him.

“I think…we just have to get our story straight.”

“What do you mean?”

Hongjoon shrugged.

“Let’s do this. Us. And we don’t hide, or at least we do hide, but only for a little bit. And when they inevitably start questioning it, we just. Lie?”

“How long is a little bit?”

Chan wiped his sweaty palms on his jeans. 

“Maybe like the first 2 months of the semester? I don’t know, I didn’t exactly have time to think this through. I kind of just wanted to kiss you, so I did.”

“Trust me, I know you weren’t thinking…”

Hongjoon let out a little giggle.

“How hidden are you thinking?”

“Well, I told Seonghwa, so it’s only fair you tell a friend now, too. But obviously, nothing on campus…again.”

Chan nodded.

“We can like…go out though, right?”

“I don’t know.”

Chan licked his lips. Hongjoon screwed his eyes shut.

“What the fuck are we doing?”

“Odds we table this conversation?”

Hongjoon looked over at Chan, who smiled at him, nodding.

“I’m okay with coming back to this later, considering you owe me.”

“I owe you?”

Chan nodded again. Hongjoon stuttered to respond, realizing what Chan meant. 

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

The change in demeanor from Hongjoon surprised Chan. He had been so commanding back in his office, but he looked so submissive sitting on the big couch staring back at him, fluttering his eyelashes. 

“This isn’t your office.”

“No, it’s not.”

Hongjoon sucked in a short breath as his words from earlier in the night played in his head. Chan watched the realization hit Hongjoon’s face, and all of their worries had dissipated almost immediately. 

“I think I’ve been plenty patient. Don’t you agree?” 

Hongjoon nodded, not able to find his words. His apartment suddenly felt like it was a hundred degrees inside, and he tugged at his collar. Chan shrugged off his jacket before heading to sit next to Hongjoon on the couch. Without missing a beat, Hongjoon climbed into his lap, peppering soft kisses across his face. Chan placed one of his hands tenderly on his hips, pulling him closer, using the other to caress Hongjoon’s face. They both took a moment to sit in the moment with a mutual understanding that there was no going back after this.

“Is this okay?”

“More than.”

Hongjoon pressed his forehead against Chan’s, humming softly at Chan’s response. 

“Chan?”

“Yeah?”

“I think I really like you.”

Chan couldn’t help the smile that plastered itself on his face as Hongjoon pulled away to look at him.

“We already established this, but I also kind of really like you.”

Chan ran his thumb over Hongjoon’s lips before pulling him in for a delicate kiss as Hongjoon tangled his fingers in his soft brown curls. There was something subdued about their kiss compared to anything they had shared earlier in Hongjoon’s office, yet everything felt more amplified in every sense. Chan lightly bit Hongjoon’s bottom lip, enticing him to deepen the kiss, yet the borderline pornographic energy they had exuded previously was gone. A devotion neither of them had made clear was present in the way Chan’s hand gently lay at Hongjoon’s waist, and the care with which Hongjoon explored Chan’s mouth felt different. There was a delicate energy to the way they were both moving. 

“Bedroom?”

“No. Here, now, please.”

Hongjoon wanted desperately to feel all of Chan, but he didn’t want to break apart from him. He pulled Chan’s shirt over his head, tossing it tenderly onto the coffee table as Chan started unbuttoning his shirt. Hongjoon found Chan’s lips again, forcing him to try and blindly undo the rest of the buttons. Their kisses became messy and gluttonous as Chan desperately ripped the last few buttons of Hongjoon’s shirt off, surprising Hongjoon enough to pull away.

“Hey!”

“Sorry, I’ll sew them back on later.”

“Fuck that’s so hot.”

Chan pushed the shirt off Hongjoon’s shoulders, letting it slide off slowly, watching as it gathered at his elbows. Hongjoon brought a hand up to his glasses, but Chan grabbed his wrist.

“Glasses stay on.”

He brought Hongjoon’s hand down to his swollen lips, kissing the back of his hand softly. Chan placed his other hand on Hongjoon’s chest, slowly letting it travel down, spreading his hand out fully over Hongjoon’s stomach, causing him to inhale sharply.

“Tell me what you like.”

Hongjoon let his head lull as his brain was clouded with all the impure thoughts he had been having about Chan the last few days. He moaned softly as he felt Chan’s hand move back up to his chest. 

“Christopher…”

“I like how you say my name, sounds so good coming out of your pretty little mouth.”

Hongjoon leaned forward, finally allowing himself to explore the body in front of him freely. He took his time tracing the features on Chan’s face, brushing his hair back and out of his face so he could see all of Chan. Chan sighed contentedly as Hongjoon hooked his hands behind his neck to kiss him again. Time felt like it was standing still, and no one else existed or mattered in this moment. Their heartbeats were in synch, and they both wanted to make the other feel godly and worshipped.

“I feel like I’m on fire.”

Chan nodded in agreement, finally undoing Hongjoon’s jeans. Hongjoon hesitated to stand up, not wanting to put space between himself and Chan.

“I want to watch you, Hongjoon.”

Hongjoon felt embarrassed at how stimulating a few words from Chan felt, but he indulged in the way Chan’s eyes skimmed over his body as he reluctantly stood up in front of him.

“Is this okay?”

Hongjoon nodded after thinking for a few seconds.

“I’m just embarrassed.”

His response was a whisper, but Chan could sense the nerves in Hongjoon’s words. He stood up next to Hongjoon silently, stripping off the rest of his clothing, trying to make Hongjoon more comfortable. Hongjoon took a deep breath as Chan sat back down on the couch. 

“Hongjoon?”

Chan chuckled as he watched Hongjoon tear his eyes away from his body, slowly taking his shirt completely off and dropping it on the growing pile of clothes atop his coffee table. Chan focused on Hongjoon’s face as he started removing the rest of his clothes. The bright red blush plastered on Hongjoon’s cheeks, coupled with glistening, sweaty skin, glittered under the soft lighting of the living room, made Chan dizzy with lust. 

“Come here.”

Chan pulled Hongjoon back onto his lap, placing wet, sloppy kisses on his neck and chest almost immediately after Hongjoon folded his jeans neatly at the top of the pile. Hongjoon felt magnetically repulsed by the electricity of finally feeling Chan’s naked body under him as he dragged his hands over Chan’s arms, freezing when Chan’s hands cradled the curve of his ass.

“Fuck, Chan. I don’t have any condoms.”

“You’re fucking joking.”

Chan burst out laughing, not being able to control his reaction, as Hongjoon sat there, eyes blown wide open at the realization. Chan nestled his head in the nook of Hongjoon’s neck, still laughing at the absurdity of their situation.

“Wow, you really didn’t think this through.”

Hongjoon laughed at Chan’s call back, pushing him off playfully, eliciting a few more giggles from Chan.

“Okay, well. No fucking then.”

Hongjoon nodded, not entirely following Chan’s train of thought, but not turning away his kiss. Chan picked up right where he left off without missing a beat. He felt Hongjoon twitch against his bare stomach as he grasped at his back, wanting more. 

“Can we…do other things?”

Chan raised his eyebrow teasingly.

“What kind of ‘other things’?”

“Shut up, you know what I me-”

Chan wrapped his hand around Hongjoon, interrupting him mid-sentence as he started to slowly stroke him, not breaking eye contact. Hongjoon bit the inside of his lip, forgetting he was allowed to make noise, chest heaving as he swallowed the whine threatening to spill out into the room. 

“Up.”

Hongjoon mindlessly followed Chan’s instructions, standing up on his shaky legs as Chan scooted forward on the couch, allowing Hongjoon to use his shoulders to stabilize himself. 

“Let me hear you.”

With those simple four words, Hongjoon let go, allowing every angelically sinful noise his mouth made fill the air. Chan hissed as he felt Hongjoon dig his nails into his shoulder in time with his hands bottoming out on him. Chan groaned at the way the muscles in Hongjoon’s thighs contracted, reminding him of his own arousal, feverishly placing his mouth on Hongjoon.

“Fu-uck, Chris.”

Hongjoon droned loudly, looking down to watch Chan completely swallow him. 

“God, your mouth is perfect.”

Chan reached out for one of Hongjoon’s hands, clumsily leading it to his head. He wanted Hongjoon to use him, to be rough, to show no restraint. Chan wanted Hongjoon to defile him to an almost immoral sense. As soon as Hongjoon’s fingers connected with Chan’s hair, he tugged hard enough to pop completely out of his mouth. Chan pouted at the loss of contact and attempted to break out of Hongjoon’s grip.

“Please slow down.”

Chan nodded, and Hongjoon loosened his grip, letting Chan put him back in his mouth. He let out a long, low hiss as Chan made contact again. Chan went slack-jawed as he allowed Hongjoon to set the pace, wanting to please him ceaselessly. Hongjoon’s eyelids felt heavy as he fought the urge to fuck Chan’s face negligently. He was trying so hard to be gentle and caring, but with every thrust that turned Chan’s gag into a guteral moan, Hongjoon was losing the ability to treat him kindly. Chan had yet to touch himself as his hands were too busy caressing, kneading, and exploring every inch of Hongjoon’s exposed body that he could reach. Chan grasped at Hongjoon’s back, looking up to see the sweat dripping treacherously over the curves of his body. The way Hongjoon’s eyebrows were knitted together in concentration as he repeatedly hit the back of his throat encouraged Chan to put even more focus on his pleasure. 

“Chris. Fuck, so close, lovely.”

Chan whimpered at the pet name Hongjoon had used.

“Where should I-”

Chan interrupted the question by swirling his tongue around Hongjoon. There was no chance in hell Chan would let him come anywhere but his mouth. 

“Are you sure?”

Chan groaned as he hooked his hands behind Hongjoon so as not to let him pull out, in hopes that it was enough of an answer for him. Hongjoon now mirrored Chan’s desperate moan from his office as he picked up on Chan’s signals, momentarily losing sight as he picked up speed and forgetting to take care of Chan as his mind went blank. Hongjoon willed his eyes to stay open as he looked down into Chan’s teary eyes and vocally rode out his orgasm so that Chan could both hear and see exactly how good he was making him feel. 

“Chrissy, fucking hell. Lovely, you make me feel so good.”

Chan lapped up every last drop, feeling accomplished as Hongjoon lazily crawled back onto his lap, placing a clumsy kiss on his cheek. 

“Made me feel s’good. You did so good. You were…oh god Chan.”

Hongjoon’s hands trailed down Chan’s chest.

“Is your turn. Or my turn. I don’t know, let me suck your dick, please?”

Chan chuckled, nodding.

“Since you asked so nicely.”

Hongjoon tossed one of the cushions from the couch onto the floor, motioning for Chan to lie down. 

“Too spent to stand?”

“Shut up and lie down fucker.”

Chan obliged, adjusting himself exactly like Hongjoon asked. Hongjoon took his time getting comfortable between Chan’s legs, kissing him softly before letting his fingers hover ever so slightly over his length. 

“Hongjoon, I swear to God if you-”

“You complain too much.”

Chan lost his train of thought as he felt Hongjoon’s hand start to work tenderly. He sat up, leaning on his elbows, not wanting to miss anything Hongjoon did with his pretty, polished fingers. Chan practically sobbed as he watched Hongjoon’s tongue caress him at the base as his hand worked his tip. He threw his head back, trying to find his composure, but Hongjoon had already learned exactly what he liked after having his dick in his mouth for about 5 minutes earlier in the night. 

“Hongjoon, more. Please, more!”

Hongjoon smiled at Chan’s pleas and finally gave in to them. He gathered himself before sinking his lips over Chan, reaching his free hand up to knead at Chan’s chest. 

“Fuck, you feel so warm.”

Chan let himself fall back, placing his hand over Hongjoon’s, trying his best not to buck his hips up into Hongjoon. He felt himself lose his breath as a few low growls escaped him at the way Hongjoon was using his mouth so well on him.

“I won't…Hongjoon, if you keep.”

Chan’s back arched off the couch, and Hongjoon took the opportunity to lead Chan into bending one of his legs before pulling his mouth completely off of him. Hongjoon nipped at Chan’s inner thigh on his bent leg, taking a moment to catch his breath before placing Chan back into his mouth. He was determined to make sure Chan knew just how much he had learned about his dick back at his office. 

“I can’t, Hongjoon. You need to. Holy shit I’m-”

Predictably, Chan came undone as Hongjoon fit as much of him as possible between his lips, devolving into a moaning, whimpering mess. Hongjoon didn’t let up until Chan was so overstimulated that he was gripping at his hair to pry him off. 

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I didn’t…Hongjoon.”

Hongjoon liked the way he drawled his name out as he licked him clean. Chan’s body stuttered a few times as Hongjoon climbed up to lie on him.

“You didn’t what? Think I could make you come so quickly?”

Chan didn’t respond to Hongjoon’s playful banter as he was still recovering his senses, as he fully felt like he had blacked out during his orgasm. They lie together gathering their breath, holding each other gently, both afraid the other would cut the night short. Chan kissed Hongjoon’s forehead, whispering a million ‘thank you’s as he rubbed his back. Hongjoon nuzzled his head on Chan’s chest, listening to his heartbeat, relishing in the scent of them in the room and their sweat-slicked bodies molding together with every breath. 

“Can you stay?”

“Yes.”

Chan ran his fingers through Hongjoon’s hair, drinking in the recognition that they had officially hit the point of no return. Chan’s phone ringing from under the pile of clothes startled them both. Hongjoon sat up, reaching for it and handing it to Chan.

“Fuck, it’s my Big.”

“Take it.”

“You sure?”

Hongjoon nodded before settling back onto Chan. Chan hesitated for a moment longer before answering the call.

“Where you at?”

Chan could hear the bass from the speakers of whatever club or bar Vernon was at, and pulled the phone away from his ear slightly.

“Out, why?”

“Is that Chan? Gimme the phone!”

Chan rolled his eyes as a drunk Felix wrestled for the phone with Vernon.

“Come party, fucker! Is your hookup done yet?”

“What fucking hookup?”

Hongjoon stifled his laughter, trying not to make any noise.

“I don’t know, Hyunjin said you were texting some guy, and you ditched them for this dude. But whatever, dude, if you're done blowing his back out, we’re at Duffy’s.”

Before Chan could respond, Vernon had ended the call, and Hongjoon allowed himself to laugh loudly.

“You were planning on blowing my back out?”

“What? No! Shut up, he’s drunk.”

Hongjoon rolled his eyes and leaned up to kiss Chan.

“You hungry?”

“Starved.”

------------

Hongjoon sat on the kitchen counter as he watched Chan cook with what little ingredients he could scrounge from his fridge after they had cleaned up. He had spent the last twenty minutes lecturing Hongjoon about eating proper, balanced meals and how he needed to make sure he had his refrigerator stocked.

“Lovely, if I don’t even have fucking condoms, what in your right mind made you think I’d have a stocked fridge?”

“Aren’t you like an adult? I’m out here scavaging through your leftovers to make us a decent meal. Fuck ass 2-day-old burrito…”

Hongjoon hopped off his counter, opening the dishwasher to grab plates for Chan to serve the deconstructed burrito bowl he had been able to muster up.

“Get Seonghwa on the line right now. I understand what he meant now.”

“You are so dramatic. Water?”

Chan nodded as he finished plating their meal and brought their plates over to Hongjoon’s dining table.

“For a grad student, your place is fucking nice by the way.”

“It’s technically not mine. Jongho, one of my friends. His dad owns the building, and he’s letting me stay here until I finish my degree. Once I graduate, I gotta start paying rent.”

Chan took a bite of his food, shaking his head.

“You’re basically a nepo baby, but like through friendship.”

“You suck a guy's dick twice and all of a sudden he feels entitled to judge you…”

Chan crumpled up a napkin before tossing it at Hongjoon, who laughed as he handed Chan a glass of water, sitting down to eat with him.

“Dino, he's the Brother who I’m supposed to be staying with; he invited us all up to his parents' cabin for the break.”

Hongjoon nodded, encouraging Chan to continue as he shoveled another spoonful into his mouth.

“I haven’t told him if I’m gonna go. I mostly didn’t say yes yet because I wanted to see what would happen with us first.”

“You should go. We can always see each other after. And we can always text or call.”

Chan studied Hongjoon’s face for a second.

“Yeah?”

“It’s your last winter break. You shouldn’t ditch your friends for some guy who you can't even be seen in public with for the time being.”

“You are not some guy.”

Hongjoon shrugged.

“You know what I mean.”

“I do, but still.”

They felt so domestic already, and that made Hongjoon worry. They hadn’t finished figuring out the logistics or labels of what this was, and Chan was already willing to ditch his friends for him. Hongjoon didn’t like that.

“We still need to figure out what this is. So yes, right now I am just some guy.”

Chan put his fork down, shaking his head.

“Fine, then what is this?”

“What do you want it to be?”

Chan frowned. He thought he had been clear with his intentions in their conversation earlier, but that question made him feel like Hongjoon hadn’t been listening.

“I told you.”

“No. You very explicitly said you wanted to know if something could happen. Something did just happen, and now we have to figure out where we’re going from here. We are both very into each other, but I don’t want to you to…I don’t want to force you into something you don’t want.”

Hongjoon hadn’t looked up from his plate as he was afraid of seeing Chan’s reactions to his words.

“Something I don’t want? Hongjoon. I want you. I don’t care if we have to sneak around for 2 months or 2 years; I want to do this. Do us.”

“You do care. You should care. We wouldn’t be able to go out like normal couples, Chan. Do you get that? I wouldn’t be able to meet your friends. I wouldn’t be able to meet your family. This is not a private type of thing. This is 100% secretive. Full stop. And I don’t know for how long. I wouldn’t be able to go over to your place. Not even when your roommates aren’t there. It could be 2 months, or it could be until after you graduate. I don’t know, and I need to feel that you understand the parameters of what would happen if we actually pursue this.”

Chan didn’t respond immediately, instead choosing to finish his food and water. He could feel Hongjoon’s anxiety rising, and he knew that Hongjoon was pushing back because he cared about Chan’s feelings, but it felt like he didn’t actually want him.

“I’m okay with that. If I ever stop being okay with it, we sit down and have another conversation, but Hongjoon. I need you to understand that I want to be with you in spite of all of that. We will figure it out as we go because we will just have to, but I don’t want to go on this fuck ass cabin trip wondering whether or not we are in this weird ‘will they wont they’ limbo. I need things to be labeled so they make sense to me.”

Hongjoon ate the last bite of his food, clearing the table, and placing their dirty dishes in the sink.

“Chan, I don’t think this is something we can figure out in one night.”

“If you took away the whole undergrad and GA aspect of us, what would we have done tonight?”

Hongjoon looked Chan over and admired how good he looked in his old Fall Out Boy hoodie that was definitely one size too small for Chan’s broad shoulders, smiling softly.

“I would have taken you to my favorite diner in town and made you try their strawberry milkshake because it is genuinely like crack. I would've picked you up at 7 and opened the car door for you. I would have had flowers sent to your place earlier in the day so you would know I was thinking of our date. I would have asked for the booth in the back left corner so we could talk, but still hear the music from the dusty jukebox they refuse to let me fix up for them.”

Chan got up from his chair and walked over to Hongjoon, wrapping his arms around his waist. Hongjoon leaned back into Chan as they both realized that if they wanted to truly be together, they would have to mourn what could have been.

“That sounds really nice.”

“But we can’t do that.”

Chan placed a soft kiss on Hongjoon’s cheek before turning him around to face him.

“We wouldn’t leave until Sunday night for the cabin. You and I can figure out how we’re gonna do this until then. I refuse to let this be a one-night kind of thing.”

“Okay.”

“Okay.”

Chan put his hands on either side of Hongjoon’s face, bringing him in for a slow kiss. He didn’t want Hongjoon to have to worry about any of the logistics of what a relationship would mean for them, but considering how stressed Chan was, he knew there wasn’t anything to help calm either of them. 

-----------------

LATE DECEMBER 2025 - CABIN TRIP NIGHT 1

to h: ok but if i tell minho he’s gonna tell seungmin 

from h: So pick someone else to tell?

to h: defo can’t tell kino

to h: he JUST started talking to me again this morning

from h: Do we fuck with Kino?

to h: idk 

to h: maybe????

to h: tbf he did apologize 

from h: What about Vernon?

to h: he is my big

to h: probably makes the most sense to tell him

Chan put his phone away as he got out to get his bags from the trunk of Dino’s car. Jeongin had already run inside to start the room drawing, and Seungmin was filling Kai and Soobin in on which Brother they didn’t want to get stuck with as their roommates, while Taehyun attempted to wake up Vernon, who was still in the passenger seat of Kino’s car.

“Channie! Dinner is on you tonight. Get those Neos to work.”

Minho winked at the Neos before pulling Seungmin with him to head inside.

“Y’all know how to cook?”

“Taehyun is the only one who can make edible food.”

Chan grimaced at Soobin’s answer.

“What about me?”

“You are on cooking duty with me tonight. Vernon! Hurry up, or you’re gonna be on cooking duty too.”

Vernon flipped Chan off as he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, and they all headed inside.  Kino had pulled Chan aside while they were all packing their respective cars up for the drive and had apologized to him. Chan had been surprised, but welcomed the apology as he could tell Kino was actually remorseful for how he reacted that day in his dorm. On the drive up, Seungmin had filled Chan in on how Kino had taken each Brother aside to fully apologize before they had gone out to the bar on Friday night and how he had reacted to finding out he and Minho were together. Minho had apparently bought Kino a round of shots at the realization that he was also one of the few clueless ones who hadn’t noticed they were in a relationship. Chan had bitten his tongue more than once on the 5-hour drive as he almost slipped up multiple times in letting the guys in Dino’s car know about his weekend activities with Hongjoon. They hadn’t been able to iron out all the details, but they had figured out enough that Chan didn’t feel as anxious about what was to come for them. 

“Dino obviously gets free pick since it’s his place, so we’ll draw rooms once he picks. Some of you will also have to double up, but Neos automatically get roomed together, so y’all get the big basement room.”

Chan helped Minho put away the groceries he had brought in with the help of Changbin to see what ingredients were missing.

from h: You don’t have to decide right now

from h: Enjoy your trip and choose later?

to h: nooo 

to h: if i wait until after

to h: its all ill be thnkng abt the entire week 

“I put my shit in the main bedroom. You may draw rooms now. Mr. Prezzy draws first!”

Felix handed the bowl with the rooms to Kino.

“Number 2?”

“That’s the second basement room. With the ensuite.”

Kino picked his bags off the floor, satisfied with his draw, and headed down to unpack. 

“VP! Get off your phone and pick a room.”

Chan stuck his tongue out at Felix and drew his room.

“4.”

“That’s the last single room, upstairs next to the main room.”

Minho groaned as Chan headed up to his room. Chan laughed at the rest of the guys, as they would all have to share their rooms. 

to h: ill call u after dinner, am on cooking duty 2nite

from h: Send pics :) 

to h: of?

from h: You

from h: ;)

Chan felt the blush spread on his face, and he shook his head. He and Hongjoon had decided it was too early for the ‘boyfriend’ label, but they had agreed on exclusivity, and although Hongjoon was still nervous about any of the guys in the Fraternity knowing, he knew Chan would need someone to talk with if the secretive nature of their relationship ever got to him. 

“You texting your ‘not boyfriend’ again?”

Hyunjin walked into Chan’s room, sprawling on the bed as Chan took his toiletries into the bathroom.

“I don’t have a boyfriend, trust me.”

“Okay, so then you have a plaything, whatever, man. I don’t judge.”

“Dude, no.”

to h: hyunjin just called u my plaything

from h: ?????

to h: LMAO

to h: he keeps asking me who im txtng and i keep sayin no1

to h: so he has started asking me if im txtng my ‘not bf’

to h: i said i dont have a bf

to h: lil dude said ‘ok so u have a plaything then’

from h: Screenshotting this and sending it to Seonghwa.

Chan laughed and jumped on the bed.

“If you keep accusing me of having a boyfriend, I’m putting you on dinner duty.”

“Noted.”

Hyunjin saluted Chan, and they both headed back downstairs to regroup and decide on their activities for the next week, and set a time for meals. Soobin and Kai ended up taking Minho’s car into town to pick up a few more ingredients that Chan needed to be able to make his famous ravioli recipe, since Seungmin had convinced him to make that dish at least once during the trip. Chan made a mental note to have Hongjoon stock up on ingredients so he could cook this for him next time he went over, as he instructed Taehyun on how to prepare the sauce. The rest of the guys spent the majority of the night taking turns beating Dino at Mario Kart and losing to him on Mortal Kombat before dinner. They all ate together and got to know the Neos a bit more as they had all relaxed into the vibe of the Fraternity and felt less guarded with them. Kino and Chan had excused themselves from the table and assisted Vernon in creating the agenda for the next day, so they could get all the business out of the way in the first full day of the trip. Dino had also handed them all their ski passes for the week as his parents had someone from the lodge leave them all complimentary passes in the mailbox, and Chan had retreated to his room as soon as he was done with Kino and Vernon. He stayed up much later than he intended, whispering to Hongjoon over the phone, falling asleep without ending the call, which would happen more than once over the course of the trip. Chan texted Hongjoon pictures throughout the trip, recounting how Jisung almost broke his arm snowboarding on the bunny slope after insisting he still remembered how to snowboard from his trips when he was younger. Hongjoon held back on texting Chan to let him be present in the trip, not wanting to be a distraction, despite Chan welcoming the distraction, and he was already planning what they would do once Chan got back into town. 

LATE DECEMBER 2025 - LAST NIGHT OF THE CABIN TRIP 

to h: idea 

from h: Go on?

to h: what if

to h: we spent new years 2gether

to h: am so drunk right now

“Vernon!”

Chan grabbed Vernon’s hand and led him back into the cabin leaving the rest of the guys around the bonfire.

“What’s up?”

“I have a secret that I can’t tell anyone.”

Vernon laughed at the swaying, drunk Chan in front of him as they headed up the stairs to his room.

“Chan, you already came out to us, remember?”

Chan nodded, holding the door to his room open. Vernon walked in and sat on the edge of Chan’s bed, slightly worried about what Chan might be sharing with him.

“Remember my GA?”

“Chan, you didn’t.”

Chan nodded somberly.

“Yeah. I like him so much.”

“What the fuck?”

Chan sat down next to Vernon and leaned his head on his shoulder.

“We have to keep it a secret because he could get in trouble.”

“Chan, is this something you should be telling me?”

Chan sat up and nodded again.

“Yeah. He told one friend, so it’s only fair I tell one friend too.”

“You guys are more than just hooking up, aren’t you?”

Vernon bit his lip, wondering what Chan had gotten himself into.

“I’ve liked him all semester. We didn’t do anything until the semester was over. Sort of.”

“Are you guys…dating?”

Chan tilted his head, thinking about his answer.

“As much as two people who technically can't be together can be dating, yes.”

“I’m guessing that I am now bound to secrecy, too?”

“Yup!”

Chan flopped backwards onto his bed, laughing in relief.

“I like him so much, Vernon.”

“When did you first tell him?”

Chan laughed hard at Vernon’s question.

“After I threw up on his shoes.”

“Oh fuck. That dude must be in love with you or something, if he still wanted you after that.”

Vernon groaned as the pillow Chan threw at him connected with the side of his head.

“He was charmed, actually.”

“He knows you’re telling me, though, right?”

to h: just told vernon

to h: he cant believe youd wanna date someone who threw up on ur shoes

to h: LOL

from h: Maybe we discuss new years when you're sober?

from h: I’m assuming things went well with telling him then

to h: yeah 

to h: hes watching me txt u rn

from h: Hi Vernon :) 

“Bro doesn’t know how to use real emojis? How old is he?”

“He’s 26, and yeah. I know.”

Chan finished recounting as much as his drunken mind could remember to Vernon, remembering to leave out certain details about their short weekend together. He also let Veronon know that Wooyoung was friends with Hongjoon, which added an extra layer of worry to both him and Hongjoon. Chan was afraid he might be ruining an already established friendship by being with Hongjoon, but Vernon reminded him that it wasn’t his job, as Hongjoon was the one who needed to keep Wooyoung in mind. Vernon didn’t like hearing Chan talk about how he would have to be in such a secret, hidden relationship so soon after coming out, as he felt like that could be damaging to him, and he let Chan know.

“I don’t know. I’m lowkey terrified of what hiding will do to me, but I’m also excited to see where things go with him.”

“You weren’t lying. You really do like him.”

Chan sighed softly at Vernon’s comment.

“Yeah. I do.” 

Vernon smiled again, watching the blush spread over Chan’s face. He was severely infatuated, and there was no hiding it.

“Your weird fucked up secret relationship is safe with me, just please take care of yourself. No one is worth losing yourself over.”

“Thank you, I love you.”

Chan hugged Vernon as Vernon began laughing.

“Odds you remember this conversation tomorrow?”

“Slim to none. I’m so drunk!”

Chan’s phone rang on the bed, and Vernon let Chan take the call, realizing the mystery ‘H’ contact he had been teasing Chan about was Hongjoon. As Vernon walked back down the stairs, he could hear Chan filling Hongjoon in on their activities from earlier that day, as well as the conversation he had just had, and he paused on the stairwell. Vernon had previously seen Chan in a relationship, and although he could tell everything with Hongjoon was still new, Vernon felt like this was different for Chan. Aside from this possibly being Chan’s first relationship with a man, it was his first relationship since coming out, and Vernon felt an airiness with how Chan spoke about Hongjoon compared to the way he would talk about his ex-girlfriends. 

from vernon: might wanna talk a lil quieter bro

from vernon: i can hear u from the bottom of the stairs lol

to vernon: ty queen

to vernon: ily

Chan made sure to lower his voice as he continued talking with Hongjoon, but given his impaired state, he was still loud.

“I’m glad it went well. What time are you guys leaving tomorrow?”

“Dino said like 3-ish?”

Hongjoon bit his lip, thinking through the logistics of inviting Chan over, but Chan interrupted his thinking.

“Want me to cook you dinner?”

“I would like that very much. You are going to be so hungover, though. You sure you can handle that?”

Chan shook his head, groaning.

“That is a tomorrow me problem. I’m gonna go back to the guys. Good night.”

“Good night, Chan.”

Chan tossed his phone on the bed before heading back out to the bonfire, walking out to Jeongin doing squats while attempting to hold Soobin up on his back as Kai recorded them. Everyone was at varying stages of drunkenness, having been playing drinking games all night, and Chan had surprisingly kept his Hongjoon secret all night. The Fraternity dynamic had settled back to how everything was before Chan’s disaster of a coming out, and Chan could tell he wasn’t the only one extremely happy to have things back to normal, as the whole trip felt different. 

“Oh fuck guys, I love you so much.”

Minho wiped tears from his eyes at Chan’s sudden confession, and Kino hugged Chan tightly. The rest of the guys all lost themselves to their emotions with drunk ‘I love you’s, and some of them who also began crying. The Neos, all not being old enough to drink yet, watched the scene unfold in front of them in extreme confusion as they had only gotten an abridged version of the drama that went down during their pledge season.

“This frat is fucking weird.”

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i did it! i was able to fit the last parts in one post!!! yay!! anyways i can finally focus on soobin fic fully :)) Link to Part 1 Part 2 Part 3