Hope
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A Force vision leads you and Maul to a planet that has something to offer the both of you.
cw. self-esteem issues, fluff, ooc Darth Maul, but is it really ooc if we r slowly domesticating him, gift giving, possessive Darth Maul, jealous Darth Maul, briefly but very much there, play fighting, that's not how the force works, kyber crystals, i dont super know how lightsabers work but i also dont care, Darth Maul speaks Mando'a, enemies to whatever the hell you two have going on, GN!Reader, Jedi!Reader, post-order 66
wc. 5.1K
an. How I feel knowing I was supposed to post this on Friday but I actually hated it so bad I deleted half of it and rewrote it while adding on like a thousand words, anyWAYS...thank u guys for ur patience as always and i hope u guys enjoy!!
only tagging as ooc maul just in case this is the first part of the series u read! i promise we worked so hard to get him to be this domesticated please we used a spray bottle of water and everything
"Remind me why we're visiting a planet with no accessible trade route again?" Maul calls out to you from the cockpit of the ship for the nth time. You halt the maintenance on your lightsaber and glare at him.
"Because," you sigh, "I had a vision, said vision involved this planet, and it counts as your official apology for your previous self mutilation."
"That was two weeks ago." He grumbles.
"Yeah, and I still can't get scorch marks out of the paneling. Besides, you like being in control of the ship. You barely let the thing auto pilot itself outside of jumps."
With a satisfying click, the hilt of your blade reassembles itself and you smile. It drops slightly as you eye the two kyber crystals on your lap. You tuck them away carefully into your bag. Finally satisfied with your work, you make your way up to the helm of the ship and drape yourself across the passenger's chair.
You were by no means a pilot but you knew that navigating an asteroid field like this was extremely difficult at the best of times. Without a sufficient map or droid co-pilot, it was near impossible. Luckily-or insanely depending on who you asked-you had complete faith in Maul to get you there.
As stars and rocks alike whiz past the ship, you took your time to admire the man sat just across from you. You were allowing yourself to spend longer amounts of time just staring at him ever since whatever fucked up reconciliation had happened that night. Who could blame you? He was nice to look at.
"Are you going to sit there idle for the entirety of the trip?" He doesn't spare you a glance as he chastises you, too focused on the debris outside. You stretch and cozy yourself further into the seat, much to his dismay.
"I offered to recalibrate your lightsaber and you said no, so I didn't. I'm finished with mine." You shrug and can feel the exasperation pouring off of him in waves. "You do not want me to co-pilot this thing Maul, trust me. Flying isn't my strong suit."
"I'm starting to realize that same idea applies itself to every vehicle with you." You childishly stick out your tongue at the jab.
"Well, it's convenient that you seem to know how to use literally all of them."
Before he can respond you jolt upright in your seat.
"That's it! That's Ossus!" Flying ships may have been difficult for you but imputing coordinates was easy enough.
"I believe we're going to an old Jedi temple." You watch Maul grip the yoke of the ship tighter.
"It will be crawling with Imperials."
"No, not likely. Hey, how good are you at flying through lightning storms?"
"What?"
-------------------------------------------
Ossus was as barren. The landscape was harsh and jagged with an overcast sky to match the gloom. And, as you had told Maul earlier, it was as if the planet was afflicted by a never ending lightning storm. Despite the scenery, you couldn't have felt happier.
Maul had gone unusually stoic on your descent downward but you'd just chalked it up to him being upset that you were right. There was no evidence of the Empire being here at all. In fact, besides the ruins of the Jedi temple that you two were approaching, there was very little evidence of life at all.
The temple had been clearly built into a mountain side at some point. It's build uncomfortably mirrored that of the Sith temple, but you ignored the lingering fear you felt. This was not a Sith temple, this was a place that could have once been called home. Though clearly not in recent memory judging by the dilapidated state of the building.
"We should leave." Maul spoke suddenly, stopping your intense study of the edifice. You frown, bemused.
"What? No. We need to be here, I need to be here. I just need to find us a way inside but—" Lightning scorches the ground near you. You jump. Less so from the atmospheric display and more from Maul, who uses the Force to send you stumbling back from where it had struck the ground.
"Maul! What…" You trail off your sentence as you look up at the Zabrak. A moment ago he had stood behind you, composed and quiet. Now, his chest heaved violently and he had ignited both ends of his lightsaber, holding it in front of him in a protective stance.
"Maul?" You called out quieter. He did not turn around. You reached out gently with the Force. If you touched him when he was like this you'd risk losing a limb or worse yet, your life.
'Maul.' You spoke inside his mind. 'It's okay. Let's get inside now.'
After a few seconds he shut off his blade but his stance did little to relax. He didn't move. His eyes were still scanning the horizon, searching for a threat you couldn't see. Walking closer to him, he still didn't react. You slip your hand into his unoccupied one and tug lightly. He finally acquiesced.
Hidden by the far end of the destroyed temple there was a small enough entrance for the two of you to squeeze inside of. It must have been a hallway at some point, but you don't point this out to Maul. It seems like the wrong time to talk about historical architecture.
"I'm sorry-"
'I apologize-'
Both of you stare awkwardly at one another as you cut each other's sentences off. It had been even weirder, considering the fact that Maul had attempted to apologize inside your mind while you spoke. You clear your throat and gesture to him.
'You first.' He nods but takes a moment to respond. He's decidedly not looking at you while does, choosing to wander further inside. You follow beside him.
'I apologize.' He continues, 'I should have been more in control of myself.'
It's a short apology but you accept it nonetheless. There's a fork in the hallway. You take a step forward and guide both of you down the left path, where you begin descending the staircase within.
'Thank you for apologizing.' You reply cordially, your hand brushing against his as you walk together. 'I'm also sorry. I didn't know you were afraid of lightning. Does Iridonia have a lot of storms?'
He stiffens at the mention of the planet.
'Dathomir. No, it did not.' Maul doesn't elaborate further and you don't push him to do so. You both return to walking in silence more peacefully now.
A bright light emerges from the end of stairwell. You light up along with it.
"This is it!" You grin as you make your way into the cave. Hundreds of thousands of gems gleamed back at you.
"Kyber crystals?" Maul asked, sounding confused.
"Close. These are like an off shoot of them. They're pontite crystals!" You ran a hand over them, each of them making a soft chiming noise as you did. Your other hand fell to your lightsaber and your smile faltered.
Stepping back from the cave wall, you reached into you bag and fished out your own kyber crystals that you had removed from your lightsaber earlier. In one of them, a large red split was visible within the stone. You grimaced at the sight.
"You bled your crystal." He isn't asking when he says it. It's clear enough to anyone who understands the basics of a weapon like this.
"It was…an accident." But your defense is weak. Saying you didn't mean to use the dark side didn't get you very far when you had an obviously damaged crystal to prove you wrong. Your regret hung heavy in the air.
"Did you enjoy it?" His question makes the hairs on the nape of your neck stand.
"At first, yes." You admitted. There was no use lying to him, not here. "Then I realized what I had done."
The stones felt cold in your hand as you stared down at them.
"This was the last thing I had and I ruined it. For what? To feel like I was in control?" You laugh, but it rings hollow. "Force above, I'm a sorry excuse for a Jedi aren't I? Impatient and sentimental. Yikes."
"You aren't very self assured either." Maul adds. You glare at him.
"If we weren't on sacred ground I'd hit you now."
"I don't doubt it. For what its worth, you'd have made a terrible Sith. You think too much about how your actions affect others and do your best to try and help." He moves to stand over the small pond inside the cave, watching his reflection in the still water. "No, I believe you make a much better Jedi."
That was one of the nicer things he'd said to you. Sure, he'd technically insulted you at the same time but still, progress was progress.
Looking back at the wall, you focused yourself and searched for two crystals that spoke to you. To your surprise, you'd found three. The all seemingly buzzed to life in your hands as you touched them and wedged them out from the wall. Walking over to where Maul stood, you sat down.
"I need to attune myself to them. It might take awhile." Unattuned crystals meant that you could risk blowing apart your lightsaber when put together.
"May I join you?" You're surprised when he asks but nod. He sits cross legged and pulls out his own blade. Splitting it in two, he removes all four crystals from it. Each of them is a brilliant red and seem to all share a uniform cut to the gem.
"They are synthetic." He answers your question before you can ask. "It took four days for them to finally be created. I did not eat or sleep as they were made."
"Aren't they unstable?" You asked. You knew very little about synth crystals besides the fact that they had a history of exploding no matter what weapon they were used in. Even now, if you hadn't been looking at them with your own two eyes you aren't sure if you would have believed Maul's claim.
"Very. In fact, I suspect if anyone else was to try and use my lightsaber for a long enough time it would be very detrimental to them. My rigorous meditation is what has made them obey me." There was an apparent pride as he eyed the perfectly symmetrical gems.
You hum, still uneasy at the prospect.
"Wait, four days? How old were you?" You concern for the stones was disregarded as you thought back on what other information Maul had just told you. You yourself had been ten when your master had decided you and a few of your fellow padawans had been ready for the journey. You couldn't imagine Maul to be much older.
"Eight." He replies too calmly for your liking. Your heart sank. He must have sensed how horrified you were but no part of him showed it. After a brief bought of silence he spoke up again.
"You're thinking very hard. It won't do any good for your attunement. Speak or forget." He looks out to the water again and shuts his eyes.
"I'm thinking an average amount! It's just," you pause, trying to find the right words, "I wish that none of that had ever happened to you. I wish the Jedi found you first."
You try to imagine him younger. Smaller. More scared. Your stomach turns at the thought of hurting something so little and defenseless.
"The Jedi did not go to Dathomir. The Nightsisters ensured that. I would have grown up as a Nightbrother and when my time came, I would have either been chosen as a mate or killed." He spoke so factually, like he had already considered the prospect of what would have happened to him if his master had never taken him. "In a way, Sidious offered me my freedom when he found me."
"That's not right." You tell him ruefully.
"Not much of my life is, but it has happened. I cannot change it, no matter how much someone wishes for it to be different." Now the bitterness crept into his words. Maul's path had always been doomed, always lined with loss and pain, and no one understood that more than the man who was reminded of it every time he looked at himself.
You dip your hands into the water. It's freezing. Thankfully, it distracts you enough from the disaster of a conversation just now. You hum in amusement as another terrible thought enters your mind.
"It really doesn't matter if we had met in any other way. Even if you had been found by the Jedi and we somehow ended up at the same temple, we never would have been friends. I was a nightmare of a child." At this admission, Maul finally gives some indication that he's listening.
"I've been adept with the Force from a young age and that skill eventually lent itself to my hubris. Try telling the seven year old that aces every single class of theirs that they can't be a Jedi yet, dank farrik! I'll still be apologizing to Master Tee'hara on my death bed for that outburst." A hand slid over your face as you were forced to relive the embarrassment all over again, cool drops of water coming along with it.
"Was that the name of your master?" He asks, interrupting your self flagellation. You pause, grabbing instinctively for your old kyber crystals.
"No. No, her name was Kua. Master Kua Behtal." You spoke her name softly. It had been awhile, since even before the order.
"She was…something." Despite how heavy your body feels, a smile makes it way to your face. "Actually, I brought her out of retirement."
"Jedi retire?"
"Well, less so retiring and more so getting to old to go out on as many missions. It varies species to species. She was an Ardennian and well into her fifties at the time. If I hadn't been such an issue, she likely would have been sent to serve on the Jedi High Council. Instead, she spent her last decade and a half knocking some sense into me. Force knows she had enough arms to do it." The laugh that leaves you is involuntarily and you cover your mouth to muffle it. You can feel Maul watching you now and the embarrassment from before slowly creeps back in.
"Sorry, I'm rambling, aren't I? I just haven't spoken about her for a while. It was nice to introduce her to someone new."
"You loved her." Maul says, but there's a sense of perplexity in the statement.
"Yes, very much." You assure.
"Despite it being against your code?"
"I told you, I am a very bad Jedi. She took me in when everyone else had declared me a lost cause. I was an angry, stubborn thing and she cared for me anyways. Any love or kindness I have ever shown has all been in part to her guidance." Tears burn your eyes. You clutch the damaged crystals to your chest and take in a shuddering breath.
"What a disappointment I must be."
"You don't regard your survival with near enough fanfare. Swaths of your people were killed over night due to an order and the rest of you are being hunted to extinction. Yet, you persist. At the very least your master should regard your resourcefulness with pride."
You blink up at Maul. He stares back.
"We really need to work on your pep talk skills."
He rolls his eyes and moves to stand. You latch onto his arm, snickering as you hold him in place.
"I'm joking! Mostly. Thank you."
"May we finally mediate and leave this accursed planet?" He doesn't acknowledge your thanks but you nod nonetheless and begin to focus on your attunement.
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It's unclear to you how much time passes in the cave. The lanterns flicker endlessly, the light from them jumping off onto the gem encrusted walls, creating a kaleidoscope of colors that dapple the rest of the grotto. You hold the pontite crystals in your hands and squeeze them gently. Each buzzing feeling aligned with every part of yourself now.
"Ready?" Maul asks from somewhere behind you. At some point he had moved to stand and was practicing lightsaber forms with his blade shut off.
"How long have you been doing that?" You groan out the question as you body starts to finally show signs of protest from you continuous meditation. Rubbing your neck, you pull yourself to your feet.
"I've only made my way through the first two forms. The others would be pointless to practice in here without a partner."
"How efficient of you." You tease. You open your lightsaber with ease and slip the two new crystals inside. It ignites as if nothing had ever changed. Playing with the balance of it in your hands, you look up at Maul and grin as an idea flits into your mind.
You stand to attention and bow before fortifying yourself in a defensive stance.
"Ready?" You echo his previous words. He eyes you curiously but still matches your stance.
"I thought you had said this was sacred ground?"
"It is. So don't injure me or break anything and we should be forgiven."
A red glow spills over the room as he activates his lightsaber, but the harshness of the light does little to hide the slight smile that graces his lips. He attacks first and you parry easily, moving to swing at him with an underhanded motion.
There wasn't a lot of room in the cave but that just meant you would have to be on your best offense. You readjust to slam down at him with a two handed strike. Maul doesn't falter but he does have to step back to handle the aggression of your attacks.
"You've improved." He notes, dodging one of your attacks to easily for your liking. Maul and you were nearly evenly matched when it came to fighting, but when it came to a proper sparring match, he was a much better duelist. It made sense, he'd been trained to fight his entire life and you typically regarded all the seven forms as a mere suggestion when it came to lightsaber duels. Still, it was irksome to watch him so effortlessly predict your attacks.
"Yeah, yeah, now stop running away. I'm trying to kick you." You complain, trying to edge yourself closer to him. Maul was now unfortunately all too familiar with your preferred method of close combat and made sure to keep enough distance between you both because of it.
He slid down and away from another attempted strike of yours, reappearing behind you. It forced you to contort your body awkwardly to defend against his blow, off setting your balance as you swung a hand out to try and keep yourself steady. You were nearing the wall of the cave now, a less than an ideal position to be in. However, with the pressure he was putting on you now you wouldn't be able to move away without giving him the perfect opening to attack.
"I still don't understand how you use that thing!" You eye the hilt of his lightsaber with contempt. Maul has the audacity to smirk at you and ignite the other end. Using the Force he pushes you back, causing you to topple over. You sit up quickly, scrambling to hold your blade in a defensive position again but what you see makes you pause.
"You've gotta be fucking joking." Just a few feet away from you, Maul has two blades now. "You can separate them? How long's that been a thing?!"
He doesn't answer, choosing to attack instead. He swings both sabers down on you with a ferocity that's hard to counter. You can feel yourself losing your hold on your lightsaber's grip, unable to balance the uneven weight he presses down on you now. Slowly your blade inches closer to your own body.
"Do you forfeit?" He asks. Maul shows no signs of struggle in pining you down like this.
"No." You reply stubbornly, narrowing your eyes at him.
"Typical laandur'ad, you never know when to quit." He mocks and you scoff.
"Says you!"
You shift your body to lay flat on the ground now and Maul follows after you, unwillingly to lose his advantage. But he's just slow enough for you to get a hand up and reach it behind his neck. Yanking him down towards you, you lean up and kiss him.
It's a clumsy movement and a dangerous one at that, neither of your lightsabers are shut off, but it's a risk you're willing to take. Traveling with Maul for so long had made you into something of a sore loser.
He reciprocates to your surprise, leaning in to make it easier for the both of you. For a brief moment you forget your initial plan and stroke his cheek, content to just be there. You pull away and grin when he looks at you bewildered.
"Well, that didn't work." You laugh quietly and feel your face grow hot. "Alright, I concede."
Both of you press the ignition switches on your lightsabers and the heat from your shared weapons dissipates. His hands now rest near either side of your head as he remains above you.
"May I inquire as to what exactly your plan was?" Maul questions. You notice how his brow furrows when he's like this. It was an endearing look on him. Joining both your hands together now, you rest them gently on the back of his neck.
"Last ditch effort. An attempt at distracting you." You reply honestly. He seems unimpressed.
"You cannot have seriously thought that to be a viable choice." You laugh again at how genuine he sounds.
"Meh, it was a win-win situation. Either it worked in my favor or I lost, but either way I got to kiss you." You run your fingers over his collarbone now, delighting in the way he tenses up.
"Ridiculous." He pushes his body up from you and helps you to your feet.
"I don't know, I think it would have caught someone else very off guard." You stretch both your arms out in front of you, taking great care in rolling your wrists out. They'd be a little sore tomorrow but you'd live. An abrupt wave of nauseating jealousy washes over you, then the feeling was gone as soon as it came. You blink and look back towards Maul who seems very interested in his lightsaber suddenly.
"Are you-?"
"We should leave now, if you have everything you need. It's been quite some time and I do not look forward to flying us out of here in the dark." Maul interrupts, walking past you.
You watch him walk away. Sighing, you shake your head and follow after him.
-------------------------------------------
It was a rough flight out of Ossus like Maul had said but he had done it. The two of you hadn't spoken much on the way back to the ship and the tension had only gotten worse the longer you were both outside. You wanted to pretend like it didn't bother you but it did.
However, you were learning to pick your battles when it came to Maul. He wouldn't be forced into talking about anything so you would wait. It was an irritating test of patience but one that you would commit yourself to nonetheless.
You sat on the small cot of your bed as you played with the extra pontite crystal absentmindedly. Three of them had spoken to you, but why? You tried to ponder that question instead of thinking about Maul.
Pontite crystals were similar to kyber crystals in the way that they could help power a lightsaber, but the also had different qualities to them. You remembered vaguely something about them being calming and helping the user focus. Frowning, you held up the gem and squinted at it.
"Okay, I couldn't have been that in need of guidance." You speak aloud to no one in particular but as you speak you see the bed opposite of yours. Maul's own area was extremely tidy compared to the small nest of blankets your cot housed but it was only because the Zabrak usually never slept. It wasn't like you didn't know why, you had witnessed his night terrors first hand, but it still couldn't have been good for him. You looked back to the crystal.
"Oh." You realized. "You're not mine, are you?"
You set to work immediately. Finding an old leather vest of yours that had seen better days, you took your vibroblade to it and began to sheer it into small strips of fabric. It was easier than you would have expected but you were not unaware of the gentle guidance that the Force was currently giving you. You wanted to bat it away, it could be so overbearing sometimes! But you also wanted the pendent you were making to look decent, so you let it offer you wordless instructions and allowed it to guide your hands.
As you finished the final wrappings you pulled lightly on the crystal to make sure it wouldn't unravel from it's bindings. It held securely to your contentment.
"What have you made?" Maul's voice startles you out of your near meditative state and you hide the necklace against your chest.
Making a gift was one thing, having to actually gift it to the person you had made it for was a whole other beast. You would have to of course, it wasn't like you could just leave it on his bed and feign innocence about it. Only the two of you lived on this ship.
"Um, it's a pendant." You hold it out for him to see. "A charm really. I only needed the two crystals but ended up with three so I ended up making this."
Maul walks over to you now and you offer it up to him. As he inspects it you prattle on about the qualities of the pontite crystal, albeit too nervously for your liking as you avoid revealing your true intentions. He hums approvingly and hands it back to you.
"Oh, no." You say, cringing at how awkward you sound. Maul looks equally as confused as you felt. "It's yours. I mean, I made it for you. To help you sleep, well, it should help you sleep. Actually I don't know if it will or have any proof to believe it will but I'm decently sure. I mean the Force literally lead me to them it would be a little ridiculous if they didn't help but still it's just…"
The more you ramble on the deeper your mortification grows so you stop yourself. Clearing your throat, you attempt to regain at least some of your composure. You place your hands on his and fold his fingers over the pendant.
"I made this for you with the intention of helping you sleep better. It worries me when you don't. You don't have to wear it! But at least keep it by your bed, please. It would make me feel better."
After that brutal bit of expressing your feelings to him is over, there's a brief second where you consider opening the air lock of the ship and jumping out. Thankfully, Maul is kind enough to be polite and accept the pendant, ending your torment for now. You pointedly do not watch him walk over to his side of the room, refusing to see what he does with it. Laying your head back onto your pillow, you crush your hands to your eyes and let out a soundless scream while his back is turned to you.
"Here." You jolt again at the sound of his voice.
Looking up you see him holding a different necklace. It had a round piece of engraved metal that acted as the pendant and it was all strung together with a beaded cord. You sat up and cupped your hands.
"Thank you." You reply genuinely.
"You don't even know what it does."
Ah, no, you didn't. Honestly it didn't have to do anything you would be happy all the same. Still, you waited for Maul to explain.
"It is a talisman of finding." Maul sits beside you now, the bed dipping underneath his weight. "I was…very lost once. My mother gave this to my brother to help aid him in finding me. It is imbued with my blood. As long as you have this, I can never be lost to you."
As if to verify his statement, he takes both of your hands still clasped around the talisman and presses it against his chest. The engravings on it glow a bright blue color as it comes near him and you gasp despite yourself.
"Well, may I say thank you now?" Maul sighs at your cheerful impudence but nods nonetheless.
"Go on."
"Thank you Maul." You lean forward a place a chaste kiss on his cheek. Gingerly you put the pendant on and tuck it underneath your shirt. The cold metal rests comfortably against your skin.
"How much longer until our next stop?" You ask.
"A few hours." He says quietly, his eyes never leaving the spot where the necklace falls on your chest. You hum and rest your head against his shoulder.
"Sleep with me?"
"The ship-"
"The ship is on auto pilot. You can't do anything for it now. It'll be alright." Your reassurance must get through to him somehow because he allows you to pull him down onto the bed with you. Tucking yourself against him, you sigh contentedly. Maul goes completely stiff.
"What?" You ask, mumbling the words into his chest.
"I'm not sure how to properly say it." He whispers above you. Nodding you wrap an arm around him and begin to trace random shapes on his back.
"That's alright. Are you uncomfortable?" You try to help him find the words.
"Yes and no. I'm very comfortable and it's making me uncomfortable."
"Seems confusing." You reply sympathetically, your eyes growing heavier despite yourself. It only worsens when he raises a hand to stroke the back of your head.
"It's very difficult, yes. You're making me soft." He sounds revolted when he says it and you giggle helplessly into him.
"I'm so sorry."
He waits until your breathing evens out and your eyes are fully shut to speak again.
"It's alright." He presses a light kiss to your forehead. "I'm growing fond of it."
an. How i feel throwing a random oc in there just to give the reader more depth. Hope that's amenable to the fans. ANYWHO I think this one was just really cute which is what i'm aiming for bc I have lowk been putting these mfs through the wringer YIKES !!! As soon as I saw Maul still holding onto the pendant that Savage used to find him it was over bro I cried and needed to include that somehow. Also his trauma with lightning! Yay! Soon he's gonna have a crazy breakdown and tell the reader more things BUT next up I get to be self indulgent as fuck and write their first meeting YAYAYYAY!! (i say this like this isnt self indulgence the series but like...shhh)
dividers by @angeliicide and @somebitchprobably-graphicdump !!!
tag list: @bexeris @ashes-136667 @aninnai @maulsdear @thelittlebats
