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Beyond feelings of inadequacy, the progress of time upon everything and my own failures are weighing heavy on me ternight. I’m also stupidly optimistic because I downed a 12 year old bottle of scotch with a friend, to the point where I’m dancing to everything. This juxtaposition is destroying my capacity to think straight at the moment, yet here I am, trying to get something out. Maybe some day I’ll find the right words.
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switched to new medication and its making me hate everyone in this coffeeshop im in who’s being loud and obnoxious. Should’ve brought earphone for sure. These people have been standing up and laughing obnoxiously loud the whole time i’ve been here and it’s honestly pissing me off. I’m here because someone’s painting my kitchen and I can’t make my own spro this morning.
Also hella depressed because my face stress-broke out, summer’s almost over, and in general, I feel like my life is stuck right now. I’ve done too much comparing myself and what I’m doing to other people lately and I feel like I’m not doing anything worthwhile. Social media I know is a killer with this; I’m not running around in Europe blowing my parent’s money, I’m not posing with a ton of people on some lawn or in some room, I’m not posting ridiculous posed pics with my significant other, and I feel like a lame piece of shit for not living the way I’m apparently supposed to. I’m trying to be more proactive about changing things in my life myself, but sometimes I get so discouraged. I’m constantly longing for a connection to someone, it’s all I really want in my life right now. I know I can ignore the lifestyle posts and convince myself that it’s ridiculous to judge myself based on other people, but damn is it hard.
Wishing all you tumblr people positive vibes. Drop me a line! All my Tumblr friends from the early 2010′s are dead and gone, I need some new ones!
Yer boi gets to “work” in an art museum next fall. So close to living tha dream ✌️
I often wonder if people really believe that showing the world and telling others that they read a specific publication or prescribe to a specific ideaology makes them seem more intellectual or sophisticated. Specifically, I’ve noticed lately that a lot of people younger than me, or my age (so early 20’s) got that special Xmas discount on The New Yorker, because a few people I know keep telling me about how it makes them feel ahead of the game and posting about it, and I even noticed someone with a New Yorker tote in a class of mine last semester. This is amusing, because I too at one point had a New Yorker sub on discount. I can safely say that I had a giant years worth stack in my room for the longest time, and eventually recycled them. I read maybe a few articles, and saved a bob Dylan themed cover, but overall, I can’t say that anything in there caught my interest. Now perhaps this is my fault for dismissing most of it as preaching to the converted or not really being interested in what the perceived social issues of the moment were, but I seriously wonder how shallow people have to be to assume others will somehow think they are an intellectual type of person based on them posting pictures or bragging about reading the New Yorker. Just a thought
Hey Tumblr, been a bit since my last tumultuous post. Just wanted to make an update for anyone who has been keeping up/cares. I was recently diagnosed with clinical depression, and have started taking meds for it. While my body is still adjusting, I felt an enourmous weight lifted off me simply by going to a psychiatrist, and I feel for the most part the meds are impacting my mental process and mood in a positive way. I know I am on the road to recovery, and I just wanted to say to all you followers to not be afraid to get help if you feel depressed, it’s not a joke condition, it’s serious.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Reblogging tons of shit to distract myself from the fact that I’m drowning in a pool of my own self-loathing because literally no one is interested in me and I haven’t been on a good date in over a year and it’s the holidays and everyone is happy and flirty and cuffed up and it depresses me. Yeah it’s shitty and self destructive but I don’t really care.
Plot twist: I am catching feelings for someone. Will they catch them for me? Have they already caught them? Am I just being hesitant because I’m scared of commitment or rejection? Stay tuned to find out!
Just realized I had an anon earlier but I didn't answer it; feel free to message me though and let me know who you are
