#holotones

NOTES BEGIN: if you’ll notice, there are a lot of harmonies. but they’re only during the parts where isaac and castor are ‘singing together’! (which is, well, everything but the first two verses and the bridge.) isaac is the melody, while castor is the harmony! this is putting more emphasis on the former, since he’s the main character haha.

but never mind that! in the chorus, the harmony during one of the lines is different from the melody’s! this shows that castor has different views from castor—he’ll just “keep staring”, even if isaac doesn’t reciprocate his actions.

also! in the outro, the harmony is off / not identical as well. i did this to represent that, even though they sorted everything out by the end of the song, things are still rocky and imbalanced!

anyhow, here are the lyrics:

verse

i don’t want to get to close to you and it’s ‘cause i know that i’ll be too low to push you from me. this isn’t me, this isn’t who i’ve know to be, and i’ll admit that i’m scared.

i don’t want to be afraid of what they think, but i know that i can’t escape this hometown. and it’s not fair to catch a glimpse of what we could have shared, and i’ll admit that i’m lost.

pre-chorus

oh, it feels like the whole damn world’s against us, but i know we’ll be alright.

chorus

won’t you share just one more dance with me tonight, don’t you know i got dressed up with you in mind. this won’t go anywhere, i swear, we’re just friends stop it with that stare, / so i’ll just keep staring, and i told you, i got somebody else,

you know this isn’t right.

i’m sure this isn’t right,

they said this isn’t right.

verse

i don’t recognize myself, what am i doing? i know that i look like hell, but i keep losing. and it’s just him, i don’t know where i would begin, and i’ll admit that i’m... weak.

pre-chorus

oh, it feels like the whole damn world’s against us, but i know we’ll be alright.

chorus

won’t you share just one more dance with me tonight, don’t you know i got dressed up with you in mind. this won’t go anywhere, i swear, we’re just friends stop it with that stare, / so i’ll just keep staring, and i told you, i got somebody else,

you know this isn’t right—

bridge

i’ll take my chances with a girl i barely know. but when i’ve landed, i’ll give up the status quo.

chorus

won’t you share just one more dance with me tonight, don’t you know i got dressed up with you in mind.

won’t you share just one more dance with me tonight, don’t you know i got dressed up with you in mind. this’ll go everywhere, i swear, we’re just friends but maybe something’s there. and i told you, i want somebody else,

and i think that’s alright.

and i’m sure that’s alright, 

and i say that’s alright.

outro

He checked that the door was securely closed and stuffed a towel underneath it to muffle any wayward squawks that were sure to barge into the guest room down the hall and wake his sister. If only he could do the same to his brain. Then, finally, with a deep breath and quick mental pep talk, he sat on the edge of his bed and held the holophonor to his lips. 

It was… not good. Not terrible, by any means, but if his goal was to sound acceptably decent, he’d only nearly achieved it. The colors were all nearly gray and the figures’ outlines were child-drawn and wavy-lined, clumsily stuttering their legs back and forth in front of each other. They were supposed to be dancing, like he and James had been on their first date. 

Unfortunately, his hands didn’t seem to understand what dancing was. Either that, or he needed another year of practice when, in fact, he only had three more days to prepare. He dropped the instrument on the bed with a huff and a hammering heart.

This was going to be a complete disaster. Just like him.

Oh, God._____

After spending those final three days tearing at his hair, practicing for ten minutes at a time before giving up and making a sandwich, and sitting at the cracked-open window with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth - even though he said he’d quit a month ago, but he was stressed, okay? - his tutor proclaimed him ready. Being that his tutor was his sister, he didn’t take her judgment entirely seriously. 

It can feel your feelings, Len, she’d told him again and again, stop freaking out.Which, of course, he took to mean stop being yourself, you big mess and summarily brushed her off. It didn’t stop her from continuing to tell him to relax, but it made him feel better, nonetheless.

And now he was sitting alone in their living room on a chair that had no lumbar support watching his mother, his sister, her husband, their daughter, and his own husband watch him. 

His fingers started to get a bit tingly, the way that they tended to do when he was in crowded store aisles and movie theaters. The room felt a little far away, too, the kind of far away that didn’t make sense to his eyes. The discomfort must have shown on his face, because James had his concerned face on. Of all James’ faces, his concerned face was number three on his list of all-time favorites, the first being his “honey, I’m home” face, which he’d enjoyed earlier that afternoon, and the second being, well, the one he never mentioned in polite company, which he had also enjoyed that afternoon before his sister returned from lunch with their mother. 

He hadn’t even noticed he’d dropped the holophonor until James was seated next to him on the arm of the couch, instrument clutched in his hand while the other rubbed circles on his back. All at once, the room snapped back into focus. He could feel his fingers as they squeezed the neck of the instrument, pressing in half the keys in a soundless shriek.

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” he mumbled into Len’s ear. 

That was his line. Every time he got like this, James said the same thing. It’s like he knew his words would trigger the spite-motivator in Len’s brain and kick his whole body into gear. Of course he didn’t have to. Len harrumphed and pulled the holophonor from James’ hand.  

“Yes, I do,” he said, squeezing his husband’s fingers. “It’s important.” 

James stayed where he was, pressed his palms to his knees, and smiled. He pretended not to see his sister fist bump her husband out of the corner of his eye.

Len took a deep breath, looked at his proudly grinning husband who he missed more than his own peace of mind, and let his heart speak louder than his head.

And if he made it look like he was the better dancer, well, no one had to know. James was too busy beaming at him to notice, anyway.

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