@holmeshandler
Heâs stunned. Properly stopped in his tracks. Standing there staring, mouth open like a bloody fool and he canât quite PROCESS what sheâs said. Well, he is. Processing. Itâs just taking him a few moments to comprehend it. Because itâs been years. Theyâve known each other for a proper decade now and that just weird to think about isnât it? Because sheâs been there through all and his troubles with his wife and the DIVORCE and Sherlockâs âdeathâ and everything, really. Everything really interesting thatâs gone on anyway. And there had been the kiss. Before he and Anne had separated. He and Molly had gotten hopelessly tipsy at the Christmas party and theyâd kissed. Short as it had been, they had kissed. Of course, theyâd both agreed to put it behind them because heâd still been married and sheâd still been pining after Sherlock. It had seemed best at the time.
It was really when he was going through it with Anne that he started realizing that Molly was more than just a friend to him. Or he probably wanted her to be. But heâd been kicked out of the house and trying to find his own place and filing the divorce paperwork and seeing a lawyer and it had all been a proper MESS for too long. By the time it had all settled down and he was in a better place and he mustered up the courage to just ask her to tea, sheâd given him the news- bright and smiling and happy -that she was seeing someone. So, heâd plastered on a smile and been happy for her. Because he was happy to see her happy, even if the news had dropped a stone in his gut that had sat there for months.
Then the wedding, Magnussen, Mary and all that awfulness. Things had passed by in a whirlwind and between work and Sherlock and his girls, Greg couldnât even pinpoint when Molly and Tom had broken up. Heâd not even heard about it until long after from what he could tell. And then one evening sheâd come by his flat OBVIOUSLY upset and told her about the phone call from Sherlock. It was a bloody awful thing, even for Sherlock. And theyâd talked and heâd tried to REASSURE her, tried to comfort her, give her what she needed. By the end of it though, Greg had felt fairly certain that Molly still had feelings for the consulting detective. And that had left them absolutely nowhere. So heâd just kept on.
But here she is again. And with all of this running through his mind as it tries to catch up to the present, here she is in front of him telling him that that little kiss almost five years ago had meant something to her. It MEANT something to her. Dare he think that he meant something to her as well? âIâŠI thoughâ thaââŠâ And here he is stammering like an idiot. ââŠI thoughâ you were in love with Sherlock.â Well bloody hell that wasnât what he wanted to say. Greg ran a hand over his face, brows knit together in confusion. ââŠIâ meant somethinâ tâ me too, Molly anâ IâŠchrist, I been sittinâ here watchinâ you date other people and look aâ Sherlock like heâs the bloody sun anââŠI never thoughâ youâŠwell, I meanâŠIâm no Sherlock.â
â -- WELL, I tried that didnât I ?  â A wry smile, if she wrings her hands anymore, she might whittle them down to nothing but bone. Her mouth is dry, sheâs all to aware of the deafening silence in the room. This isnât easy for her; but itâs something that sheâs been wanting so badly to get off her chest. It was silly really, to bring up something that had been nothing more than a drunken peck. when it happened, yes, she spent a few restless nights thinking about it, wondering why it was Gregâs rough, chapped lips that tasted of cigarette smoke and champagne, that kept running through her mind, rather than Sherlockâs chaste kiss on the cheek. There was no way she could have come clean to Greg at the time, not when he had just expressed a desire to patch things up with his wife, and was practically on the verge of divorce. Besides, he knew about her feelings for Sherlock-- so Molly nipped that in the bud early on, and threw herself into becoming just that, her little crush for Sherlock.Â
â D i d n ât work out so well for me. â Tom had been lovely, Molly had genuinely pictured living out a life with him, if not she wouldnât have said yes. True, he could be silly and a little dim at times, but he was lovely, warm where Sherlock was cold, sympathetic where sherlock was brusque. He had been kind and wonderful and funny, and heâd like her, she was sure of that. Sure, there had been the matter of his dog, and her cat, but she had considered a life with him, living together and having children of their own, being Mrs Sawyer. Even now, thinking of it, she was sure they would have been a good match, and she would have led a comfortable, contended life. Maybe not a happy one, but theyâd certainly make it to old age together. But it was people, people who kept pointing out she had a type, her mates who sniggered and whispered. When she caught herself recognising a shadow of Sherlock in his face, she had broken it off, unable to STOP seeing it once she had . It wasnât fair to him, this constant comparison she would make for the rest of their lives. Poor, sweet Tom. Heâd deserved none of that.Â
For awhile, she had actively avoided crossing paths with Greg, though Molly herself couldnât figure out why. Part of her might have still been guilty for lying to him back then, when Sherlock died. She knew he had been going through a rough time, what with the divorce and all, and as a friend, she shouldâve helped, shouldâve invited him out to tea more often, yet she could never bring herself to. When Greg came around, she made herself scarce, when he rounded the corner she turned and walked in the other direction. Yet when the phone call happened, he had been the first one she had turned to; sheâd known he would understand.Â
â -- I thought so too. When he called-- when he asked why I couldnât say it-- â I love you, the words had died on her lips, â I told him I couldnât, because it was the truth. But-- it wasnât. That wasnât the real reason why I couldnât say it. It was like having something lodged in my throat, choking me, when I should have been thrilled he even said them back. Because deep down, I guess I knew that it WASNâT the truth. Not anymore. I donât  l o v e Sherlock. And I donât think Iâve loved him for, for years. â

















