#ho1c

i feel like i'm gooing instane please pelaase please have crazy sex and kisses next chapter

nina needs to tenderly take of joan's glove and kiss up her arm OKAY okay

You had agreed to meet Helen in xir studio today. They had asked you sometime after dinner. The way the question sent shivers down your spine and set an ache in your legs told you it had been far too long since you last sat. It was hard to forget the sensation of a blade caressing flesh paired with the stench of paint-thinner.

"Eager to start? You've seemed rather solemn lately, muse." xir voice - so gentle and wispy in nature. You could listen to Helen talk for hours and hours. Eager, you were. Without a word, your feet pattered across the tiled floor headed towards an easel. Helen always had the room prepped before you came, sometimes even seeming to anticipate your surprise arrivals. You never minded. You needed someone who craved you. Someone who worshipped you like a god.

As you sat yourself down on the tall chair, body resting against the backrest, Helen selected a canvas. Xe had rarely chosen anything modest in size, preferring to choose anything xe knew would keep you for hours, posing in front of them and lending the most vulnerable parts of yourself. Flesh and blood. Sin and beauty. You were xir muse.

The canvas was large and you were already curious to see what was planned. Helen had never told you what xe wanted to paint, only ever expressing how much xe needed you. Completely capable of portraying you by memory alone was among xir many talents. You turned your head. You nearly never faced Helen when they painted you, preferring to have the blood harvested from your back.

Once the canvas was placed and ready, you made work of your sweatshirt, stripping it off to reveal your bare breasts and stomach. The chill in the room was always terrible, yet Helen wasted no time, approaching your side with a thick blanket. You uttered a small thank you - not missing xir small glance at your hardened nipples - and you exchanged your jacket for the linen. "Would you like any assistance in pinning your hair up?"

With a nod, you agreed.

"I'll be right back, then."

Shoes clicked as they walked to xir cart. You finished getting settled, wrapping the blanket around the front of your body and letting the cloth drape from your shoulders. You tried not to slouch - you didn't want to see so human - but you did cross your arms and rest them atop the back of the chair, letting your head slump ever so slightly. The sound of squeaky wheels broke your trance, echoing throughout the studio. It stopped short of your right side. You glanced behind you, starting to throb.

Helen was always particular in how they set up their cart as well. It, too, was always set up prior to your arrival. On a metal tray were a variety of knives and razorblades of varying sizes. In addition, a few packs of gauze and antiseptic were placed as well as some other tools that they typically never used. Beside that, on the cart itself, xe had carefully placed an array of paintbrushes, pallets, water, and hand towels. From the side of the tray, xe pulled out a large claw clip and approached you. You looked away, fixing your gaze back at the wall of the studio.

"It has been far too long, don't you agree?"

Xir voice came out as a mere whisper and they gathered your hair atop your scalp and secured it in place.

"Don't you have enough paintings of me?" you asked.

Xe laughed, soft and pleasant in your ears as they traced their fingers along your shoulders. Xe was admiring your complexion. You knew xe would compliment you about it soon enough. Xe always did.

"They aren't just paintings. They're murals. They're idols."

You sat quiet, meaning lost on you.

"I don't understand what's so important about them. Are they not paintings?"

"I will do this and more a hundred times over until you understand my raw devotion to you, muse."

Hands left your back and reached for xir tray, grabbing the antiseptic and a cotton pad. You heard the bottle guzzle as xe poured it.

"They are no false idols either," Helen said, wiping your back clean, "made from the essence of you. What could possibly be more heavenly than that?"

You knew Helen cared for you rather intensely, even now as xe cleaned your back before the cutting - which was entirely unnecessary. You both couldn't die. No human disease could harm you, yet xe still chose to offer such care.

You liked the cutting and you felt terrible to admit it. You liked the way the blade sliced away and carved sacred flesh. The way your blood and body aroused Helen behind you. The way your heart panged and the wetness that always collected between your legs. Nina mentioned something about it and erogenous zones a few weeks ago, but you insisted on ignoring her. You knew she was right.

Sometimes, more than anything, you wished the art Helen left written into your back could stay forever, but being unalive meant that the scars you had were here to stay and the ones you earned since would soon fade. That would be a true devotion: marked and branded together. Forever. But Helen could never give you a gift like that, it was impossible.

"Are you ready to begin now?"

"Yes, if we must." you say.

From behind, xe grabs a blade from the cart. You felt them brush the edge along your spine as xe decided where to make the first incision.

"You say that as if you didn't agree to come,"

Practically hearing the smile on xir face, you ignore them.

"You are here by choice, correct?"

"I am."

"Good," pain bubbled up as xe made the first line, "I was worried I'd lose the privilege of having a willing participant."

Your gaze fell to the chains around the easel and fresh blood rolled down. Helen was quick to catch it up with xir brush, quick to start xir work. You guess you really were one of the few who enjoyed Helen's paint sessions, but it was only a nicety! You could've stopped whenever you wanted.

Xe pressed the paintbrush up against the canvas and began. You couldn't see it too well from here, but Helen preferred it that way regardless. Xe like the element of surprise and the way your face became flushed once you saw xir art.

"You find something... healing in this though, right? You're a masochist." xe said, making another incision.

"Don't call me that,"

"But it's true," xe said, "I mean no offense when I say it. I find pleasure in pain too."

You felt the paintbrush glide across your back again. You shivered but didn't respond.

Helen continued. After nearly 40 minutes of sitting, your back started to sear in pain, aching from flayed flesh and sore lesions, yet Helen painted on. As xe prodded at your skin again, you couldn't help but hold back the weary moan from escaping your lips. Xir body felt close against yours. Another slice drew, your moans growing louder and closer in between. You noticed a stillness in the air.

Head cradled in your arms, you hid yourself from shame. You wanted Helen. The jeans still covering your legs and hips were smothering you, only making the slick collecting in your panties more apparent. Xe made a long cut, starting near the nape of your neck and nearing your lower back. You arched into the sensation, letting out an embarrassing wail. As you did, Helen placed xir other hand firmly around your shoulder, holding you still.

"You bleed so beautifully." xe whimpered, breath heavy on your ear. Xir hand snaked down your side, grabbing and tracing every inch of you.

"Please," your pleading was surely lost in the noise of your shared breaths, but Helen seemed to hear everything when concerning you. Knife clattering to the ground, Helen yanked the linen xe let you borrow, letting it flutter to the floor. Xir hands made a beeline to your breasts, mouth attached to your neck. Xir body pressed up to you drove you mad, your still wet blood soaking into xir shirt.

Small nips touched your neck, the damage done to your body juxtaposed by the gentle way Helen massaged your breasts and teased your nipples.

"Please," you whispered again, unable to beg properly.

Helen grew needy at your want, panting hard behind you, hands wandering down to the button on your jeans. Xe popped them off, struggling to shimmy your pants down with you sat on the stool.

"My muse," you felt as xe ground xir hard-on into your back, desperate for your touch. Words spoken into your neck made your body ache.

"Please!" you uttered, now loud and clear in the empty room. With an arched back, you pressed your head up into xir shoulder, letting them tower over your seated form.

"Tell me what you need. What I can give to you,"

"I need you"-

"That much is obvious. The blood of divinity is in my hands. Let me worship you. Let me bond you and me."

You bucked your hips, rolling into nothing but the tightness of your pants. You needed Helen inside of you. You needed them to show xir devotion by fucking you stupid. Absolute pleasure and pain. Absolute devotion. Chaste kisses peppered your jawline as they grabbed another knife, sending the cart hurtling to the ground. Metal clattered against the floor, scattering far across the room. Paintbrushes rolled out from their meticulous placement; water and blood spilled. Hastily, Helen sliced the flesh of their palm, cutting deep and sharp. Blood gushed from the wound splattering onto your breasts before xe pressed it against a gash on your back. Blood mixed with blood.

"Please, Helen I need you inside of me!" you pleaded, pushed to tears.

"I am," xe responded, sounding relieved.

You reached behind you, tugging at their apron, soaked in fresh and dried blood alike. Their body moved at each pull and you yanked the ties apart. Xe followed suit, lifting the apron above their head and letting it drop to the floor. Your hands reached for Helen's bulge, rubbing them through xir pants.

"You know I don't mean it like that," you said.

Wordless, Helen turned you to face them. Your back stung while resting flush against the chair slat.

"Then let me make it up to you," xe said, falling to xir knees. From between your legs, xe helped you to finally pull your jeans down, your panties coming with them. You were impatient. You didn't want any more foreplay, you wanted them.

They took their time teasing you, resting xir head against your upper thigh, reaching up to caress your breasts, and spreading their blood around. It had already started to congeal, losing its warmth. Hands trailing to meet your hips. You took initiative, lifting your legs up and placing your feet on xir shoulders, yet it only distracted them more placing kisses from your inner thigh down to your ankles.

"I thought you were trying to make it up to me, can't you hurry already?"

"It takes time to appreciate such beauty," xe said, bringing xir face back in front of your pussy. You were surely glistening. A sight to see. You could see it in their eyes - the way they scanned over every part of you. Every fold, every blemish, every imperfection. They took their first lap, so gentle and pleasant on your clit. They whined in response, letting you closer to them. Arms wrapped around your legs as the heat of their breath tickled your skin. Another swipe, tongue flat and heavy. You bet Helen loved to have your taste on their lips.

Your body was trembling, your core aching with anticipation. Xe quickened their pace, letting each lap change in speed, pressure, and movement. How could someone be so good at eating pussy?

And god you wanted to cum so badly, you needed to. Your fingers threaded themselves through Helen's hair, gripping on for dear life. You needed to hold onto something - else you felt your whole body might fall apart. And when you do fall apart, Helen will be there to pick up all of your parts and piece them back together.

Their soft whimpers into your cunt drove you mad, vibrations sending you over. You wouldn't be able to hold it for much longer. Your own whines and gasps filled the room and grew heavy.

"Fuck!"

Your legs tightened around xir head as xe started sucking on your clit.

"I'm gonna cum," you cried out, pulling on their hair. As your orgasm started to wash over you, you couldn't decide whether or not you wanted to push their face into you or force them away. Regardless, you squirmed in the chair, slumping down even further as you came on Helen's face.

"Stop,"

Before the words could finish leaving your lips, Helen lifted xir head. Their face was coated in your slick, which they soon wiped away with the back of their hands. You closed your eyes, listening to the heaving of both of your breaths.

"Do you still want me? Inside of you."

Eyes opening, you looked down at them. Between xir own legs, they were still hard. Good orgasm aside, you still needed Helen.

"I do,"

Xe stood.

"Where shall I take you?"

The question sent shame and embarrassment to your face.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Well, you're far too sacred to be taken on the floor,"

Xir gaze turned to the corner of the room. Counters and cabinets surrounded a single basin sink.

"How about there?"

You nodded, still slightly winded. Without warning, Helen wrapped xir arms around you, lifting you into xir embrace. They carried you to the counters, placing you atop one of them, similar to how you were sitting on the chair. This way, however, you were more level with xir cock.

"I'll have to hold you up, but the counter will hold you, too. You will tell me if it's too uncomfortable, yes?"

"Yes. Now please, I've been waiting too long."

Xe pulled their shirt over their head and slid down their pants just enough to pull themselves out. Xe wasted no time in lining themself with your entrance and finally pushing inside of you. They did so slowly, moaning faintly as they bottomed out.

"You're made so perfectly,"

Xir arms were now wrapped around you, circling around your back to embrace you, holding you up against the counter as xir hips did all the work. They were gentle and slow in their pace, but they were hungry for you too, thrusting erratically. Xir fingers caressed your wounds, now quickly healing. Being unalive made sitting for Helen something special, but within a day or two most of the lacerations would be fully healed and almost all of the evidence of today would be faded. You would need to do it again.

Already sensitive, you were approaching your climax too quickly. You could tell Helen was also - so pent up from giving all xir attention to you.

"Can I cum inside you?" xe asked, breathy.

You nodded, begging them to do so. They started muttering under their breath, seemingly praying.

Xir voice hitched as they came, hips stuttering. You let yourself push over the edge, not holding back and cumming with them, much lighter this time, but still enough to send you gripping xir back, enough to draw blood.

For moments, you sat in each other's arms before xe finally set you down, letting your feet touch the ground.

"I suppose that is all for today?" xe seemed upset, gaze falling at xir unfinished painting of you.

"We can finish it another time," you said. You knew he'd refuse to use any blood but yours.

"You'll sit for me?"

You nodded. Xe cleared xir throat, composing themself.

"Would you like me to accompany you to your room?"

"I would like that very much."

Together, you dressed. The cloth of your jacket was itchy against the scabs on your back, but you wouldn't have to worry about it for too much longer. You were ready to get back into your room and shower, then pass out after a stressful week.