#hiraeth.task003

songs that he would listen to // (playlist)

UGH! // THE 1975

And you're the only thing that's going on in my mind Taking over my life a second time I don't have the capacity for fucking You're meant to be helping me When I said I liked it better without my money, I lied It took a little while to recognize That I, I'm not giving it up again

- zipper // brockhampton ( pretty sure i'm maniacal, but what do i know? / i don't know, all i know is what i see through my monocle / that and the telescope keep one lens on the money flow / the other's gold and complemental trusty, well, well ) - runrunrun // dutch melrose ( i always thought it would be easy / to get you out my mind / i think i found a new addiction / and it feels so right / run, baby, run, run for your life / i'ma tear out your heart, it'll always be mine / run, baby, run, run for your life / gonna tear out your heart, it'll always be mine ) - tear you apart // she wants revenge ( it's only just a crush, it'll go away / it's just like all the others, it'll go away / or maybe this is danger, and he just don't know / you pray it all away, but it continues to grow ) - new magic wand // tyler, the creator ( ayo, take one look in the mirror, implications so clear / i live life with no fear, except for the idea / that one day you won't be here ) - start a riot // duckwrth, shaboozey ( i'm comin' through with my crew to make 'em pay / i don't need no supersuit, i'm feelin' brave / when i say "Brooklyn, stand up" / you better just fix your posture / and every hero needs his theme song, so ) - seven minutes in heaven // mindless self indulgence ( all this kissing and french kissing / his tongue is overrated / seven minutes in heaven / is all that i need when i get with him / seven minutes in heaven / i hope in the end that I'm not a virgin )

songs that remind me of him // (playlist)

I BET ON LOSING DOGS // MITSKI

I bet on losing dogs I know they're losing, and I'll pay for my place by the ring Where I'll be looking in their eyes when they're down I'll be there on their side I'm losing by their side

- brutus // the buttress ( what motivates me - hatred? is it love? / what's more wrong - that i too wish to be great / or my mother wished she'd had a son? / and even if i can't be the one / maybe i could at least help make way for him / until the day that he comes / maybe my name could also be known / that i helped return good to the people / and restored greatness to Rome ) - fake plastic trees // radiohead ( she looks like the real thing / she tastes like the real thing / my fake plastic love / but i can't help the feeling / i could blow through the ceiling / if i just turn and run / and it wears me out / it wears me out ) - placing the blame // self ( are you man enough? are you man enough? / are you man enough to take the blame for this? / are you man enough? are you man enough? / are you man enough to take the blame for this? ) - thick skull // paramore & julien baker ( only i know where all the bodies are buried / thought by now i'd find 'em just a little less scary / might get easier, but you don't get used to it / keep on autopilot / hey, hey / what's the body count up to now, captain? / hit over the head (epiphany) / over my head (repeatedly) / thick skull never did (nothing for me) / same lesson again? (come on, give it to me) ) - it's not living (if it's not with you) // the 1975 ( all i do is sit and drink without you / if i choose, then i'll lose / distract my brain from the terrible news / it's not living, if it's not with you ) - rotten // porridge radio ( trying to walk on the balls of my feet / it hurts, it hurts, my puny muscles ache / trying to sing away my rottenness / you tell me i should go outside / you say, "get as much rest as you need" / "but, you'd feel better if you ate the things that made you well" )

songs that remind me of dorian & his crush // (playlist)

SEASON 2 WEIGHT LOSS - HARRY STYLES

Holding, holding out Hoping you will love me now Holding, holding out Hoping you will love me now Do you love me now? Do you? Do you? Do I let you down? Holding, holding out Hoping love will come around

- striptease // carwash ( on and on / like you were my first love / we could just runaway / not tell anybody / i really like the way your hair blows looking back at me / this feels like some bullshit teenage summer dream / the stereo's slapping me across the face / we're running low on gas but we don't have a place to go ) - how could u love somebody like me // artemas ( how could you love somebody like me? / tryna be cold, but it's making you weak / i couldn't hurt somebody so sweet / but it's turning me on just watching you leave ) - i'm your man // mitski ( you're an angel, i'm a dog / or you're a dog and i'm your man / you believe me like a god / i'll destroy you like i am / i'm sorry i'm the one you love / no one will ever love me like you again / no when you leave me, i should die / i deserve it, don't I? ) - between the bars // elliott smith ( drink up, baby, stay up all night / with the things you could do, you won't but you might / the potential you'll be that you'll never see / the promises you'll only make / drink up with me now and forget all about / the pressure of days, do what i say / and i'll make you okay and drive them away / the images stuck in your head / people you've been before / that you don't want around anymore / that push and shove and won't bend to your will / i'll keep them still ) - hate to be lame // lizzy mcalpine, finneas ( it's always on the tip of my tongue / i read an article on the internet / told me that that's how you know you're fallin' in love / don't really trust what's on the internet / but maybe just this once / hate to admit but it might be true / hate to admit but i think you knew / hate to be lame but i might love you ) - heart out // the 1975 ( you got something to say? / why don't you speak it out loud Instead of living in your head? / it's always the same / why don't you take your heart out / instead of living in your head? )

songs that remind me of what the boys would play // (playlist)

3005 // CHILDISH GAMBINO

No matter what you say or what you do When I'm alone, I'd rather be with you Fuck these other ******, I'll be right by your side 'Til 3005, hold up Okay, hold up, wait a minute, all good just a week ago Crew at my house and we party every weekend so On the radio, that's my favorite song Made me bounce around, like I don't know, like I won't be here long Now the thrill is gone

songs that he would listen to // (playlist)

LET DOWN // RADIOHEAD

One day, I am gonna grow wings A chemical reaction Hysterical and useless, hysterical and Let down and hanging around Crushed like a bug in the ground Let down and hang You know, you know where you are with You know where you are with Floor collapses, floating Bouncing back

- like a stone // audioslave ( i'll wait for you there / alone / and on I read / until the day was gone / and i sat in regret / of all the things i've done / for all that i've blessed / and all that i've wronged / in dreams until my death / i will wander on ) - sober // tool ( why can't we not be sober? i just want to start this over / why can't we drink forever? / i just want to start this over ) - off i go // greg laswell ( loose ends, they tangle down / and then take flight / but never tie me down / never tie me down. / off I go. / where I fall / is where I land. ) - new noise // refused ( great words won't cover ugly actions / good frames won't save bad paintings / we lack the motion to move to the new beat! / we lack motion! ) - mr. brightside // the killers ( it started out with a kiss, how did it end up like this? / it was only a kiss, it was only a kiss / now i'm falling asleep and she's calling a cab / while he's having a smoke and she's taking a drag / now they're going to bed and my stomach is sick / and it's all in my head, but she's touching his ) - something in the way // nirvana ( and i'm living off of grass, and the drippings from my ceiling // it's okay to eat fish 'cause they don't have any feelings / something in the way, hmm-mmm )

songs that remind me of him // (playlist)

IN THE BLOOD // JOHN MAYER

How much of my mother has my mother left in me? How much of my love will be insane to some degree? And what about this feeling that I'm never good enough? Will it wash out in the water, or is it always in the blood? I can feel the love I want, I can feel the love I need But it's never gonna come the way I am Could I change it if I wanted, can I rise above the flood? Will it wash out in the water, or is it always in the blood?

- savior complex // phoebe bridgers ( baby, you're a vampire / you want blood and i promised i'm a bad liar / with a savior complex / all the skeletons you hide / show me yours, and i'll show you mine / all the bad dreams that you hide / show me yours ) - tempest // ethel cain ( i'll hurt myself if i want / i don't care / do you swing from your neck / with the hope someone cares? / please, just go easy on me / i am young and naive / i don't know what i need / "i can lead you to bed / but i can't make you sleep" / i've heard it before / from someone who leave ) - landslide // fleetwood mac ( oh, mirror in the sky, what is love? / c an the child within my heart rise above? / can i sail through the changin' ocean tides? / can i handle the seasons of my life? ) - how to save a life // the fray ( where did i go wrong? i lost a friend / somewhere along in the bitterness / and i would have stayed up with you all night / had i known how to save a life ) - my city of ruins // bruce springsteen ( now there's tears on the pillow, darlin', where we slept / and you took my heart when you left / without your sweet kiss my soul is lost, my friend / tell me, how do I begin again? ) - what sarah said // hobo johnson ( and i rationed my breaths / as i said to myself / that i'd already taken too much today / as each descending peak / on the lcd / took you a little farther away from me / away from me )

songs that remind me of will & christian // (playlist)

BROTHERS ON A HOTEL BED - DEATH CAB FOR CUTIE

You may tire of me as our December sun is setting 'Cause I'm not who I used to be No longer easy on the eyes but these wrinkles masterfully disguise The youthful boy below Who turned your way and saw something he was not looking for Both a beginning and an end But now he lives inside someone he does not recognize When he catches his reflection on accident 'Cause now we say goodnight from our own separate sides Like brothers on a hotel bed

- simple man // lynyrd skynyrd ( "come sit beside me, my only son / and listen closely to what i say / and if you do this, it'll help you some sunny day, ah, yeah / oh, take your time, don't live too fast / troubles will come and they will pass / you'll find a woman, yeah, and you'll find love / and don't forget, son, there is someone up above ) - medicine // daughter ( you could still be, what you want to / what you said you were, when i met you / you've got a warm heart / you've got a beautiful brain / but it's disintegrating / from all the medicine ) - achilles come down // gang of youths ( achilles, achilles, achilles, come down / won't you get up off, get up off the roof? / the self is not so weightless, nor whole and unbroken / remember the pact of our youth / where you go, i'm going, so jump and i'm jumping / since there is no me without you ) - ain't no rest for the wicked // cage the elephant ( "oh, there ain't no rest for the wicked / money don't grow on trees i got bills to pay, i got mouths to feed / there ain't nothing in this world for free / i know i can't slow down, i can't hold back / though you know, wish i could / oh no, there ain't no rest for the wicked / until we close our eyes for good" ) - cough syrup // young the giant ( if i could find a way to see this straight / i'd run away to some fortune that i should have found / by now / i'm waiting for this cough syrup / to come down, come down ) - blood // the middle east ( older brother, restless soul, lie down / lie for a while with your ear against the earth / and you'll hear your sister sleep-talking / say, "your hair is long, but not long enough to reach / home to me / but your beard / someday might be" )

songs that remind me of will & giselle // (playlist)

PUSHING IT DOWN AND PRAYING // LIZZY MCALPINE

I wanna feel guilty I wanna feel that it's wrong I wanna know peace again Wanna sing a different song I want you to need me (need me) I need to want somethin' more (somethin' more) He gives what he can But now I don't know what he's giving for Softer, harder, in between You know just how to get to me He is stable, you are deep I know just how to get what I need

songs that she would listen to // (playlist)

THE HAND // ANNABELLE DINDA

This isn't rage, it's worth a mention This is a fake internal tension Sometimes, I spread out one opinion And stand on its back to gauge attention This isn't rage, it's too specific I like to hate symbolic limits This is no statement, I'm complicit This is a dream, God put me in it

- i know the end // phoebe bridgers ( out in the park, we watch the sunset / talkin' on a rusty swing set / after a while, you went quiet / and I got mean / i'm always pushin' you away from me / but you come back with gravity / and when I call, you come home / a bird in your teeth ) - bloody mary // lady gaga ( i won't cry for you / i won't crucify the things you do / i won't cry for you / see, when you're gone, i'll still be bloody mary ) - breakfast // dove cameron ( i eat boys like you for breakfast / one by one hung on my necklace / and they'll always be mine / it makes me feel alive / i eat boys like you for breakfast / and I know that you tried your bestest / i never said it's right / but I'm gonna keep doing it ) - the perfect girl // mareux ( you're such a strange girl / i think you come from another world / you're such a strange girl / i really don't understand a word ) - run run blood // phantogram ( follow me into a swarm of bees / swallow everything you don't believe / drink away all of your memories / say goodbye to your family / it's bigger than life, it's bigger than love, it's bigger than us, bigger than all ) - ptolemaea // ethel cain ( i am no good nor evil, simply I am / and I have come to take what is mine / i was there in the dark when you spilled your first blood / i am here now, as you run from me still / run then, child / you can't hide from me forever )

songs that remind me of her // (playlist)

NOT STRONG ENOUGH // BOYGENIUS The way I am, not strong enough to be your man I try, I can't stop staring at the ceiling fan and Spinning out about things that haven't happened Breathing in and out Always an angel, never a god

- six feet under // charlotte sands ( oh, some things never change, i'm still at war with my brain / i want so badly to feel good, i wonder / how much more can i take? i'll just keep diggin' my grave / i won't be happy 'til I'm six feet under ) - american teenager // ethel cain ( sunday morning / hands over my knees in a room full of faces / i'm sorry if I seemed off, but i was probably wasted / and didn't feel so good / a life full of whiskey but i always deliver / jesus, if you're listening, let me handle my liquor / and jesus, if you're there / why do I feel alone in this room with you? ) - devil on my back // chrissy ( i can’t right my wrongs / by stringing you along / while i’m not getting better / you’re waiting patiently / you’re being strong for me / maybe i’m weak because you let me be ) - house song // searows ( mark my words, there's a thousand things / that don't wash out with anything / i keep you clean, you surrounded me / and my windows are breaking / something is rotten inside of me / i have to find it and / cut it out ) - i was all over her // salvia palth ( i guess i am always, it's not a problem it's just something, i got used to it / every stranger makes me feel safer / and every person seems more beautiful ) - liquid smooth // mitski ( i'm beautiful, i know 'cause it's the season / but what am i to do with all this beauty? / biology, i am an organism / i'm chemical, that's all, that is all )

songs that remind me of lilith & carmen // (playlist)

LACY - OLIVIA RODRIGO

Ooh, I care, I care, I care, like perfume that you wear I linger all the time, watchin', hidden in plain sight Ooh, I try, I try, I try, but it takes over my life I see you everywhere, the sweetest torture one could bear Ooh, I care, I care, I care, like ribbons in your hair My stomach's all in knots, you got the one thing that I want Ooh, I try, I try, I try, try to rationalize People are people, but it's like you're made of angel dust

- she likes a boy // nxdia ( she likes a boy, she likes a boy / she likes a boy, she likes a boy / and i'm not a boy, i'm not a boy / i'm not a boy, i'm not a- / accustomed to making a move / why I'm feeling the way that I do ) - sleepover // hayley kiyoko ( you will never understand / even when you hold my hand / i just feel alone, feel alone / i don't wanna talk about it / i don't wanna think about it / i just feel alone, feel alone / even when you're next to me / it's not the way I'm picturing, no / but at least I got you in my head, oh yeah ) - velvet ring // big thief ( benny loved her like he loved no one / the way she'd laugh and hold a smoking gun / the way she always said, "what's done is done" / and he was not the only one / love is a gentle thing / yours is thicker than a velvet ring ) - boyfriend // dove cameron ( what am i gonna do, not grab your wrist? / i could be a better boyfriend than him / i could do the shit that he never did / up all night, i won't quit / thinking i'm gonna steal you from him / i could be such a gentleman / plus all my clothes would fit ) - softly // clairo ( touch you softly, i call you up late at night / know that it isn't right, but you could be my one and only / you get me in the mood, know what I'm tryna do / do you think that we can move closer, baby? / i want you, ooh-ooh, ooh, ay, yeah ) - (you) on my arm // leith ross ( oh, i wanna be / i wanna buy you / pretty little things / and never ever lie to you / watch you get dressed / and compliment your taste / 'cause i'd be better armed / if you agreed to take it )

songs that lilith studies tarot to // (playlist)

ARMY DREAMERS // KATE BUSH

But he didn't have the money for a guitar (What could he do?) (Should have been a politician) But he never had a proper education (What could he do?) (Should have been a father) But he never even made it to his twenties What a waste Army dreamers Oh, what a waste of Army dreamers Tears o'er a tin box

Back to the Day // Tyler Posey

I've been searching for the words to say I miss you // I've been waiting for the day you come back home // I know I'm okay but I fucking miss you // And I know you're not coming back home

Never Forget You // Zara Larsson, MNEK

I used to be so happy, but without you here I feel so low // I watched you as you left, but I can never seem to let you go // 'Cause once upon a time you were my everything // It's clear to see that time hasn't changed a thing

Can't Remember to Forget You // Shakira

And I left a note on my bedpost // Saying not to repeat yesterday’s mistakes // What I tend to do when it comes to you // I see only the good, selective memory

Erase // Omar Apollo

It's cold right now, I miss you for life // It's not going away, I thought I'd be okay, 

Somebody That I Used to Know // Gotye, Kimbra

That Choice // Fox Stevenson

Show 'em something better than I might be // Force-feed a narrative, sell 'em what they wanna see // Wait, maybe that’s the way I put the walls up // No one ever gets to get a close-up

The Kill (Bury Me) // Thirty Seconds To Mars

I tried to be someone else, but nothin' seemed to change // I know now, this is who I really am inside // Finally found myself, fighting for a chance // I know now, this is who I really am

Money Power Glory // Lana Del Rey

I want money and all your power, all your glory // Hallelujah, I wanna take you for all that you got // Hallelujah, I'm gonna take them for all that they got

The Real Slim Shady // Eminem

And there's a million of us just like me // Who cuss like me, who just don't give a fuck like me // Who dress like me, walk, talk and act like me // And just might be the next best thing, but not quite me // 'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady

I Wanna Be Adored // The Stone Roses

Songs Eun-Ji Likes

White Rabbit // Jefferson Airplane

One pill makes you larger And one pill makes you small And the ones that mother gives you Don't do anything at all Go ask Alice When she's ten feet tall

Rockabye // Clean Bandit ft. Sean Paul & Anne-Marie - She tells him, "Ooh, love, no one's ever gonna hurt you, love"

Here It Goes Again // OK Go - I guess there's gotta be a break in the monotony, but Jesus, when it rains, how it pours

1979 // The Smashing Pumpkins - Junebug skippin' like a stone, with the headlights pointed at the dawn, we were sure we'd never see an end to it all

Hotel California // Eagles - You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave

Underdog // Imagine Dragons - Hey, that sounds like my luck, I get the short end of it

Songs About Eun-Ji

Where'd You Go // Fort Minor ft. Jonah Matranga & Skylar Grey

Where'd you go? I miss you so Seems like it's been forever That you've been gone

STAY // BLACKPINK - 날 당연하게 생각하는 너지만 그게 너다워

Somebody That I Used to Know // Gotye ft. Kimbra - Now and then, I think of when we were together, like when you said you felt so happy you could die

Ordinary World // Red - I thought I heard you talking softly, I turned on the lights, the TV and the radio, and still I can't escape the ghost of you

Little Talks // Of Monsters and Men - I don't like walking around this old and empty house, so hold my hand, I'll walk with you my dear

Songs Kayla Likes

Airplanes // B.o.B ft. Hayley Williams

Can we pretend that Airplanes in the night sky are like Shooting stars? I could really use a Wish right now, wish right now Wish right now, can we pretend that Airplanes in the night sky are like Shooting stars? I could really use a Wish right now, wish right now Wish right now (Yeah)

Don't Let Me Down // The Chainsmokers ft. Daya - Crashin', hit a wall, right now, I need a miracle

New Rules // Dua Lipa - Now I'm standin' back from it, I finally see the pattern, I never learn (I never learn)

Bones // Imagine Dragons - Go ahead and throw your stones, 'cause there's magic in my bones

24 // Jem - "Be careful, " they say, don't wish life away

Sunflower // Post Malone & Swae Lee - I know I always come and go (and go), but it's out of my control

Songs About Kayla

What's Up Danger // Blackway & Black Caviar

I'm insane but on my toes I could keep the world balanced on my nose I had a slumber party wit' all my foes Now I wear them like a badge of honor on my clothes If I'm crazy, I'm on my own If I'm waitin', it's on my throne If I sound lazy, just ignore my tone 'Cause I'm always gonna answer when you call my phone

Invincible // Aminé - I gotta stop feeling invisible, and start feeling invincible

Misguided Ghosts // Paramore - See, I'm trying to find my place, but it might not be here where I feel safe

Life Less Frightening // Rise Against - I don't ask for much, truth be told, I'd settle for a life less frightening

Try Everything // Shakira - I messed up tonight, I lost another fight, lost to myself, but I'll just start again

Songs Esther Likes

Awake and Alive // Skillet

I'm at war with the world and they Try to pull me into the dark I struggle to find my faith As I'm slippin' from your arms It's getting harder to stay awake And my strength is fading fast You breathe into me at last

Breathe Into Me // Red - And this is where I lose myself, when I keep running away from you

Fallen Angels // Black Veil Brides - Take joy in who you are, we know our wings are flawed

Bring Me to Life // Evanescence - My spirit sleeping somewhere cold, until you find it there and lead it back home

I'm So Sick // Flyleaf - I'm so sick infected with where I live, let me live without this empty bliss

Oh Lord // In This Moment - Oh Lord won't you forgive me, for I have lost control

Songs About Esther

Jonathan // Ice Nine Kills

God has taken my eyes If I see no reflection How the hell do I know I'm alive? As the darkness bleeds into my mind The force that screams to give up Is grave enough to carve my name into a stone

Silver and Cold // AFI - Cold in life's throes, I'll fall asleep for you

Sweet Blasphemy // Black Veil Brides - Silence the crooked holy, unchain the tied and bound

Precious // Depeche Mode - Angels with silver wings, shouldn't know suffering

Hear Me Now // Framing Hanley - Now my body's on the floor, and I am calling