#hints romance

The silence hangs awkwardly between them.

“Was there something you needed?” she asks after half a minute of this. As cheered as she is by his presence, she knows from experience that Sasuke doesn’t come to see her unless there’s something he needs from her. He’s not the sentimental type, after all; with him it’s function and duty above everything.

“Kakashi and Naruto are concerned about you,” Sasuke states. “You’ve been avoiding them.”

Sakura freezes at this.

Instantly, a bolt of pain shoots through her heart. Because of course Sasuke wouldn’t come to see her of his own volition, but because Naruto or Kakashi asked him to. That phantom pain is quickly backed by a stab of annoyance that her other teammates got him involved. It was exactly what she was hoping to avoid.

“It’s been busy at work,” she dismisses. “I can’t always get away when I’m in the operating room, you know.”

She begins to walk away; for once, she half-hopes he won’t follow her. When he does, she can’t decide if she’s irritated or pleased.

Still, she doesn’t want to talk about her issues with Naruto and Kakashi with him, especially not considering what they stem from. Instead, she goes on to relay what she’s spent her day doing, explaining all of the procedures she carried out and the injuries she healed. Her enthusiasm is half-genuine, half-manic, and she doesn’t dare take a breath.

For the first time since they were kids, she takes advantage of his silence just to fill it, trying to make it seem like she’s not upset.

They wander down the street together, separated by barely two feet. Normally she would be over the moon about this, thrilled to spend time with him and bask in his attention, but the sour feeling in her stomach won’t abate. The pretense that everything is alright is like a fog, and she barely takes in any of their first walk together. She’s not even really sure where they’re headed, simply following her feet.

Does Sasuke think she’s bringing them in somewhere in particular? If he does, he’ll soon realise she has no destination in mind, and leave. Maybe she should let him know it’s alright to leave if he wants to.

She stops them, ready to do just that, opening her mouth—

And then abruptly shuts it as their surroundings become clearer to her.

The entrance of Konoha’s graveyard looms behind them, the summer breeze rustling the neatly trimmed grass around all the monuments.

Sakura blinks, and then blurts out in genuine confusion, “Did I bring us here, or did you?”

Sasuke doesn’t reply, instead gazing among the distant rows with an unreadable expression; it looks like her attempts at deflection didn’t distract him after all.

“Sasuke…you don’t have to…it’s fine. I don’t want to make this a bigger deal, especially considering…everything. Ugh, they shouldn’t have gotten you involved—”

“They should have told you,” he interrupts; it’s so surprising that she actually jumps, her eyes snapping toward his face. There’s an irritated expression there, but she has a presentment that it’s not directed at her for once. “I understand why they didn’t, but they should have. Out of everyone…you should have been someone who knew.”

“I…”

She doesn’t actually know what to say to that. Her eyes feel tight, and there’s a tickle in her nose that suggests oncoming tears, but for the first time all day it’s not hurt or anger that makes her want to cry. The fact that Sasuke of all people would say this to her…

“Thank you,” she manages finally. “Coming from you that…that means so much.”

He shoots her a funny look, like he doesn’t understand why.

“You’re one of the saviours of the world,” she reminds him. “If you don’t think I’m too weak to handle the truth, they have no excuse either.”

“You are not weak, Sakura,” he tells her, turning to face her. “You are the strongest person I know.”

Blood rushes to her cheeks, making them burn, and Sakura tries to untangle her tongue to respond to that. On the one hand she knows that can’t be true, because they’ve both witnessed what Naruto can do. But on the other hand, Sasuke has never been dishonest with her; he has never told her anything that he didn’t truly believe. He isn’t a man of tact, or the type to spare another person’s feelings; if he said it, he must think it’s true.

“Next time, punch Naruto instead,” he goes on, as if he commented on something as factual as the weather. “Preferably before he becomes Hokage, so it won’t cause another civil incident.”

“I didn’t cause a civil incident this time.”

“You did enough to merit my usual ANBU detail suddenly making a beeline for the Hokage’s office.”

She bristles at the notion that even though he has long been cleared of his crimes, Sasuke still isn’t completely free while at home. Kakashi said it was a temporary measure until people are more used to seeing him around the village, but it seems counterproductive to her.

If people knew the whole truth, would that be any different?

Now that she knows, it seems even more injust.

Maybe that’s yet another reason they didn’t tell her.

Sakura clenches her fists as her thoughts come full circle.

“How do you do it?” she asks eventually, staring through the entrance again at the beautifuly polished memorial stone. Flowers and incense offerings are arranged around it, as always. Sasuke doesn’t answer, but she senses his gaze upon her; the silence rings like a question. “Knowing the truth…knowing what it cost…and them still hiding it?”

She wouldn’t blame him if he chose not to answer, but after a beat he exhales heavily.

“I would rather the Uchiha be remembered as loyal to the village that Itachi loved…than be remembered for plotting against it,” he says at last.

“No. Not that. That I…I understand. I hate it, but I understand it.”

Sasuke digests this, and then prompts, “Then do what?”

“How do you forgive people you care about for keeping the truth from you?” she asks. “People you trust and love and who you know just want to protect you. But by doing that, they make you hurt worse and feel…insignificant.”

It sounds pitiful when said out loud like that, especially in comparison to everything else, but Sakura was never able to just cast aside her feelings, however mundane.

This time Sasuke’s silence is quiet and contemplating, instead of confused. When he answers her, he sounds uncomfortable, “I’m not the right person to ask that.”

“You’re the only person that I trust right now who would know,” she tells him seriously, finally looking up at him. She is startled to find that he is already watching her—how long has he been looking at her?—but then abruptly looks away again.

“Hold on to the knowledge that they really want what’s best for you,” he tells her simply.

“That’s it?”

“You could cut yourself off from everyone, but that’s not a path for everyone.”

Sakura scowls at him; if she didn’t know him better, she would assume he was attempting to be humorous. Then she sighs, letting go of some of the tension that’s been holding her together the past few days, and looks back at the memorial stone.

“I feel crippled,” she confesses. “Like if they had said something, that all this time I could be doing something to make sure the past doesn’t repeat itself.”

“You are.”

“Huh?”

“Was that not the purpose of the clinic?” he asks. “To ensure what happened to Naruto and Kakashi and myself couldn’t happen again?”

“Well, yes, but—”

“Then you are,” he affirms, with something resembling finality in his voice.

Discussion over, I guess.

She marvels a little at how Sasuke can see the world in such simple terms when it comes to certain situations, and while in others he operates with logic that she can’t even follow.

Probably the same complex logic that had Itachi do what he did, she thinks, half-exasperated and half-impressed. She considers the memorial stone in the distance again, and the way Sasuke is lingering beside her, and then something occurs to her.

“Did you…are you going in?” she asks. “Do you want to be alone for that? I mean, if you’re leaving again soon, you probably want to say goodbye alone.”

“I…won’t be leaving right away, as it turns out,” he says, and there’s a strange waver in his voice she doesn’t think she’s heard before. “Kakashi asked me to test Konoha’s barrier for weaknesses. My dōjutsu makes me the best candidate for it.”

“Oh,” she says. “Well that’s nice! So, you’ll be around a little longer, right?”

“A few days, at least.”

She beams at him.

“I’m happy to hear that,” she says. “Maybe I’ll see you around then. I mean, around the village. When I’m not at work, of course.”

“Hm.”

He seems very at ease now, losing some of his distance, and the old hopeful part of her, the one that refuses to give up, decides to test her luck.

“And…maybe we could…get something to eat?” she suggests. When his eyes slide to her, she quickly adds, “Something that’s not ramen. There’s a new restaurant in town that does hamburgers…have you ever had them? What am I saying? You probably have.” She laughs nervously. Oh gods, someone make me stop talking! “Or if you’re not hungry, maybe we could just…go for a walk? Today was—” She makes a face, “Well, it was depressing. But the end was nice. Maybe we could do that again sometime and just catch up. I’m sure you saw some amazing things when you were travelling, and I’d love to hear the stories…that you could tell me…I know most of it’s classified, but—”

“We could spar,” he suggests.

The rest of Sakura’s sentence dies in her throat, and she blinks. “Huh?”

“Before I left, you asked if we could spar,” he says quietly, not looking at her. In fact, he seems very interested in something directly in front of him.

It takes her several seconds to understand what he’s talking about, before she remembers a conversation they had right before he left Konoha.

“I’ve heard accounts of some of the techniques you’re capable of using in combat. I’m curious to see if I could counter them,” he goes on. His eyes slide to her. “If you’re not busy at the hospital, of course.”

Excitement courses through her, replacing the dolorous emotions of the past few days, because Sasuke has never asked to spar with her.

She quickly adopts a serious, confident expression, smirking at him. “You’re going to get your ass handed to you.”

Sasuke snorts.

“We’ll see about that next time,” he tells her, reaching over and poking her forehead with his index and middle finger. Then he turns and starts to walk away, leaving her staring after him in confused elation. “And if you’re going to kill him, try not to do it so close to the cemetery.”

“Huh?” she asks, reaching up to touch the place where his fingers brushed her skin. Sasuke’s been doing that a lot since the end of the war, apparently his way of showing affection.

She tries not to read too much into it that she’s never seen him do that to Naruto or Kakashi.

つづく

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クリ