#hidefire;ic

his lips tilt upwards into a smile-- easy, soft, warm--, eyes focused on the crucifix behind the altar before them. a threat to those who sin, a reminder to those who question faith, and a promise to the devout of a life to come. he had told her that he was claustrophobic when her discomfort in the confessional booth was becoming obvious. he prefers sitting in the pews, anyway. he prefers feeling the warmth of the wood that holds his flock every mass. "your day," he starts, eyes sliding over to her, "or your feelings, or your life, or your favorite animal, or anything, really. it's about what you want to say to me." pushing doesn't work, he's learned that, he's lived that. pushing on a locked door doesn't open it, only finding the key does that. "i'm here to listen and guide and comfort. not to judge or scold or anything like that." god was comfort, god was love, god was good. father monroe represents that, or at least tries to. "or we can just sit here. something about just sitting with someone who cares makes things better." and care he did, for every soul that wandered their ways into those doors, every body that found itself encompassed by the warmth of the church. "my schedule is open all day." no mass, no wedding, no funeral, no christening. a quiet day in his life.

"i know what?" he starts softly, following her lead. he's quiet for a moment at her admission, head cocking as a stupid smile spreads across his features. his eyes are soft and his hand comes up to cup her face, thumb stroking across her cheek softly. it was an intimate moment, one they hadn't had many -- if any -- of. it felt both so out of place and like exactly what was supposed to happen. "i would hope so," he says with a soft laugh, leaning in to plant a soft kiss to her mouth. it's chaste, one that doesn't have any tension or desperation behind it. "hot on the inside.. that's a new one, but i like it. i think you're pretty cool, too. and you're hot," he tells her, laughing again. "like, really hot."

angsty moments

he sits up straight, looking around his surroundings to orient himself. fuck, where did he fall asleep? his vision finally unblurs, sleep washed away by sheer panic. goddamn nightmares. goddamn brain. goddamn memories. all of it settles on his skin like a heavy woolen cape, suffocating him. he finally realizes he's in his apartment. he finally realizes he's fine, he's safe. he's not there. he's alone, though, and that's almost worse. his hands are shaking as he rubs them over his face, drawing knees to chest. he can't be alone right now. phone in hand, he scrolls through contacts. nobody he wanted to talk to. no one he could bring himself to talk to. then he scrolls upon rain's contact, finger hovering over her number. should he call? she's the only person he can think of talking to right now, something about the way she held herself together with tattered twine the same way he did called to him. something about the way he saw whatever secrets she held close to her chest bubbled just beneath the surface makes him feel like she might be the safest bet. he calls, hanging on with baited breath until he gets through. "hey, i--" how does he begin this? "can you come over? or can i? i can't sleep. i just-- you seemed like the best person to call." how often did they stay up too late doing anything to keep their minds anywhere but right here?

garden of earthly bodies meme

"don't start with me." rain mars doesn't get to comment on how he looks, rain mars who historically did not care for him. rain mars who was usually distraught more often than not. "go ahead, tell me i look like shit." he's in a bad mood, he's been in a bad mood for what felt likes days. "i just haven't been sleeping." he shrugs, like that's an answer.

garden of earthly bodies meme

"it's too late to go back now. we're kind of already doing this thing." he's laying beside her, staring up at the ceiling after another one of their romps. is it a mistake to fuck someone you kind of don't like? he likes rain alright, but sometimes she makes his blood boil. and it was obvious, her distaste of him. he doesn't even remember how they ended up together the first time, all he remembers is sneaking out (even though he left his number). "we're just having fun." right?