#heux

We met during his free time just to talk about our arrangement and what we were looking for, we were supposed to meet at a cute cafe ten minutes away from my uni but when he arrived it was full so we met a few minutes away at a Japanese restaurant. He was having lunch and I had said something about me coming from work (total bullshit but he ate it up). We talked and got to know eachother a bit. I’m comfortable around him and he’s a gentleman, no doubt about that, but the conversation between us was a bit stagnant. After twenty minutes of talking I felt like I was ready to go.

Turns out he’s not new to the sugar dating scene, he helped his old sb prep to go to New York for acting school (according to him — never really believe shit) and he’s looking for discretion but trust between us. I should’ve picked up on it but I think mans just wants to have sex and cuddles. I don’t mind it but I wouldn’t want to get $300 for sex under the guise of a sugar baby, nah if he wants sex he might as well pay for it accordingly $1k+ 🙄

I’m madly new to the sugar world/bowl, I’ve been an observer and admirer for a few years now and thought to myself “why don’t you finally go for it, you technically have nothing to lose”.

Shit, I have quite a lot to lose lol, but I’m so good at this lying to myself thing that I actually believe myself when I lie to others, like when I lie to my parents about where I am going, when I lied to my friend about not pursuing this sugar dating thing and when I lied to myself that I was ready to do this.

I made a profile on seeking arrangement despite the numerous amount of posts that say not to bother due to the number of salt daddies and fake people on there. I decided to try my luck considering I live in a small country and I have a concentrated number of possible sugar daddies to my disposal. I used a fake name generator to come up with a name to go with my fake ass back story — I literally made up a character to portray when sugaring (I know I’m a genius or whatever 💁🏾‍♀️)

Kendi sounded perfect for my South African girl next door character. I wanted my sugar baby persona to be similar to mine but I wanted her to be more confident and literate, I wanted her to show some class and be the girl that turns heads for a reason. Obviously she was a uni student just like me, studying marketing because that’s what I know best, and she was looking for someone to mentor her, sponsor her, spoil her and help make her dreams come true.

One of the first guys that messaged me initiated the conversation about getting to know me and seeing where things could go, we took the conversation off of SA onto kik and I got to know more of him. An accountant/financial advisor, who used to be a lecturer, has a PhD, worked as a cruise manager for years (meaning he travelled for a living). Like honestly I could even possibly have a crush on this guy. After getting to know a bit about eachother I suggested a quick coffee date to talk about what we were both after, we met ten minutes away from my uni campus and surprisingly in a very public area.

Everything checked out and he paid for my food and we parted ways. We didn’t get to discuss money arrangements however, this made me nervous because the whole point of this was to get $$$ and we hadn’t discussed it. I think it’s cause I was really nervous to bring it up, I had read many posts and tips on tumblr about how to bring up the money convo but I just couldn’t do it. So when he brought it up himself and offered to take me out to dinner, you bet a bitch was excited! Unlucky me, we had a communication breakdown and we didn’t go on a date — he left me on read for two weeks 🙄

This Sunday afternoon however was different, we met up a little bit last minute — straight after church for me — and had lunch at a Mexican restaurant. We shared a small platter and I could’ve sworn I regocnised our waitress from somewhere. We had a good conversation and I was way too worried bout eating like a pig I only ate a little bit. We left an hour later and decided to go back to his place — I know you’re probably thinking “dumb bitch! Why the fuck are you going home with him? He could rape you or hurt you or even leave you stranded! What are you doing?!” I wish I could say I thought the same things too but I genuinely didn’t. I am positive I broke down this mans walls to the point that he’s truely vulnerable around me. I don’t trust him with my life but because he’s a father or really young kids and he’s always trying to make sure I’m okay, I knew deep down that he couldn’t hurt me. I also genuinely did want to see what his house was like, after all he lived up north of the city which is the fancy and rich people homes, houses in the north shore cost over 2million dollars.

We spent time chilling at his home, talking about his kids and things we both enjoy. This was really easy for me, if I closed my eyes and imagined my uni crush in front of me I could’ve sworn I would’ve been ultimately enjoying spending time with this man. Unfortunately he has a major dad bod, is bald and he’s roughly 5’8” meaning he’s not y’all enough for me to even feel remotely attracted to. When he kissed me I could taste the faint taste of cigarettes on his breath and I wanted to die a little bit. I am a good kisser — I have no doubts in my kissing abilities — so I put on a really good show and kissed that man like I actually liked it. His brain is attractive but the rest of him can be recycled. He gave me $300 and I went home feeling a little richer. Now I want to ask for an allowance or else a raise to $500 minimum. Imma tell him I’m quitting one of my jobs which will be hard for me to manage (he thinks I have two jobs and I’m a full time student when in reality I have no jobs and I just study full time).