this is a little heavy like maybe??? controversial? topic but i wanted to share my opinions on it-
one thing i have noticed in the community in the last five years of my lurking and/or blog-running is how the terms lee and ler are used. i feel like ive seen some internalized misogyny(??? if thats the right word) woven into them. the community has definitely gotten better with this in the last few years, but i think the lee = woman, ler = man stereotype still lurks within, just not as obviously as before.
woman = weak, man = strong has close connections with this as well, which brings me to my next thought.
in servers, in posts, in fics even i see all the time calling someone lee as an insult (more of a playful one, but nonetheless) like there is this unseen hierarchy that ler is above/better than lee. calling someone a lee to prove theyre less than you, to dismiss something they say, etc. i see far too often it used as a way to (subtly/unknowingly or not) belittle people.
even as a switch, both me and other switch friends i have have experienced this, being lee to any degree seems to overpower the fact that we are also lers. there's something about the high horse a lot of lers ive met sit on that has normalized calling everyone they can, at any point they can, a lee.
a lot of lers i met have this confidence about them that they think they could fluster any lee. i spent a lot of my time early-on pretending to be flustered at stuff to fit into the "cute, easily flustered, babby so tiny" lee stereotype so people would like me, find me cute, give me attention. i think a lot of people fail to realize that that is not the only lee out there. i think a lot of that confidence is really similar to the confidence of ignorant cis white men who think they could get any girl.
in servers ive noticed how often lees and switches are pressured to post pics of their spots, fill out those tickle charts, or share their most ticklish spots because "its fun", "everyone does it", "this is a tickle server/community, this is what we do." ESP with younger afab lees.
on the flip side, lers who aren't rougher or sadistic (for a lack of better words) are often considered unreasonably soft or not really a ler, from what ive experienced (as a softer ler myself as well.)
i just have seen a lot that reminds me of sexism and misogyny.
maybe ive just happened to fall into some really bad corners of the community, but this happens a lot in my experience. ive seen a lot that, in my head, feels very tethered to misogynistic ideologies. id love to hear any one elses thoughts on this.
