#herestoscreaming

Oh, there it comes, the sweet scent of memories. Look at how it envelops you, almost as a second skin, leaving you breathless as the usual wave of feelings that follows crashes against your core. Her name alone makes your always composed face go slightly reddish. Come on, do confess why you have been seen wearing more blush lately. You are losing control, are you not? You can feel it in your blood, in your veins. Hatred no longer travels amongst them. There are other things, though, other sentiments that you prefer not to acknowledge. Oh, but you know they are there. That is why you have been avoiding them. That is why you are spending the 24th on your own. You just could not stand the idea of being among the Charmings without wanting to murder them. Not that they stopped being infuriating idiots, but hurting them meant hurting the ones you love. Yes, plural. You know of whom I speak. Don't fret, dear, I shall leave you to enjoy your day. Be good and we will see, perhaps Santa will drop something on your tree.

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Regina covered her eyes with one of her hands as she sat up on her bed. She found herself half wishing that those who said she did not have a conscience were right. Not having regrets did not mean not having a conscience, it just meant that Regina was extremely good at rationalizing things. Yet, at the end of the day, she is just a human being.

She took a deep breath before running a hand through her dark short hair, uncovering her eyes. She raised an eyebrow at the amount of sunlight that was coming through her half open curtains. What time is it? She almost jumped out of bed once she realized that it was way past noon. She went to her underwear drawer and grabbed the new red lingerie set she had bought the week before. She took a moment to acknowledge its softness before rolling her eyes at herself and making her way to the bathroom. No one else was going to look at it. No one else was going to marvel at its softness. No one else was going to touch it. The reason behind the purchase had had nothing to do with other people in the first place, though. She had just wanted to feel good about herself, to feel good in herself, in her own skin.

She went for a bath instead of a shower. She did have plenty of time in her hands, so why not take a moment or two to just relax and forget about the rest of the world? A book would do. It was still too early for a glass of wine, though, specially because she had yet to have breakfast - or lunch, as that would be more appropriate for the time of the day.

She found herself standing in front of her closet about an hour or so later. What to wear? Even though the only plans she had resided inside of a Disney DVD case - ironic, wouldn't you say? -, it was still Christmas Eve, she was not about to spend it in her pajamas, no matter how comfortable she felt in them. She reached out for a red dress that she was well aware fitted her like a glove. Why not? She put it on before dedicating some time to her hair and to putting her lipstick and perfume on. Once done, she stared at her own reflection in the mirror. Hell with being humble, she looked absolutely stunning.

With no shoes on, she left her bedroom and made her way to the kitchen. She put a simple salad together and ate it before focusing her attention on the apple pie she had been planning on baking since the day before. The main dish would be lasagna. It was Henry's favourite. She was not sure whether that would make her feel less alone or more suicidal, but she was willing to bet on nostalgia - hurts and heals at the same time.

She had always been very meticulous when it came to cooking and baking. Everything had to be absolutely perfect. She could both blame and thank Cora for that. She was proud of herself. No one could ever point at her and say that she had not done her very best. She always did. Proof? The very existence of Storybrooke.

After putting the pie in the oven and making sure that the lasagna was ready to follow the same fate, Regina made her way into the living room and started setting the table. Even if just for one, it had to be done. After all, she was always the one to better second guess herself, to better judge her own actions and their consequences. It was not easy to pass Regina Mill's test, even Regina herself had to go through it. Actually, when she herself was the target of the evaluation, the list of things to look for increased by a thousand. Enough was never a word familiar to her. She was taught the definition of perfection, though, and she always aimed to achieve it.

Once done, she went to the cellar to choose a bottle of wine. She had built quite a collection over the years. Some bottles had belonged to her father, some she had bought on the many trips she had made to try and understand her new world. Yet, at the end of the day, she always seemed to find consolation in her apple cider, so she ended up not opening many, if any. Today was going to be different, though, today she was going to open one of Henry's. Or perhaps two. She grabbed two bottles from the year of her birth and made her way back into the kitchen.

She had just taken the pie from the oven and replaced it with the lasagna when she realized that the sun was already making its way down. Time does fly. She took the apple pie to the table and turned on the lights on her Christmas tree. She smiled as the tree came to life, glowing as if proud of its decoration. No, Regina had not been the one to put it together. It had been Henry... two or three years ago. Yes, Regina had used magic to make it all happen. Again, no regrets. She felt home. Almost, anyway.

"Merry Christmas, Henry." She found herself saying out loud before closing her eyes tightly for a moment. When she opened them again, it was snowing. She could imagine her son running to the window and yelling out for the Charmings to come and see the little Christmas miracle. Even at a distance, she could feel his smile. There was warmness and happiness.

She went back into the kitchen, turned on the radio and started doing the dishes while she waited for the lasagna to be ready. While she did so, she sang along.

Have yourself a merry little Christmas,

Let your heart be light

From now on,

Our troubles will be out of sight

That was probably the reason why she missed the knock on her door. You see, while she went on with her day, Regina Mills completely forgot about the fact that she owned a phone. She had left it on her bedside table, unattended. The thought of someone wanting to talk to her on such a day never really crossed her mind. Even if someone did, it would probably not the be someone she wanted to. So to avoid disappointed, she had unconsciously - or not - made a decision.

Have yourself a merry little Christmas, Make the Yule-tide gay From now on,  Our troubles will be miles away

The fact that she carried on singing, perfectly in tune, was probably the reason why she missed the sound of the front door being closed.

Imagine the sight. A woman, completely unaware of the fact that she has company, singing along to Judy Garland's Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas, her hips swaying as she does the dishes. Imagine the dress, red, like a second skin. Perfectly toned legs that seem to go on forever even though the woman is wearing no shoes. What's the word on the tip of your tongue? There's a tie on mine. Beauty? Sexy?

And she has yet to turn around.

Here we are as in olden days, Happy golden days of yore Faithful friends who are dear to us Gather near to us once more

Emma watched the other woman suddenly freeze as Henry started singing. The fact that he knew those lyrics by heart told her that she was witnessing some sort of Christmas tradition. Her eyes never left Regina as she rested her hands on the counter, taking a deep breath, as if ready to turn around and realize she was hallucinating. That made Emma's heart ache. How had they fallen into this?

Then Regina turned around.

Emma's mouth fell open for a moment as she took in the sight of the older woman. There was too much cleavage going on so it took her longer to reach red lips that seemed speechless and then dark eyes that seemed to seek answers. She would be more than willing to reply to the alphabet of questions once she caught her breath, of course.

Emma half expected Regina to start yelling at her and calling her Ms Swan and giving her a speech about breaking in when she perfectly knew that Henry still had a key to the house. But instead, she watched as the older woman almost ran in Henry's direction, wrapping her warms tightly around him.

"You are home." She whispered into his hair before pulling back and placing a soft kiss upon his forehead. "Did you come for the gifts? I asked Ms S..." She stopped half sentence as she searched for Emma's eyes. Once she did, she carried on, a small thankful smile on her face. "I asked Emma if she wouldn't mind bringing you tomorrow for a moment so that you could open them with me." Regina concluded, taking a step back.

"Oh, she told me! But Grandma is very tired because of the baby and Grandpa is not the greatest cook in the world and he just wants to sit by her, so..." Henry looked up at Emma, wanting for her to carry on.

"Right, so we thought that perhaps you could keep us company and help us avoid spending the 25th in a hospital due to food poisoning...?" Emma started, shrugging. "That, and Henry might have mentioned lasagna, pie and a movie?" She couldn't help but smile as she noticed Regina's face growing soft. Then her eyes met Regina's yet again and the sight just made her chuckle at her own confession. No, what she found in Regina's eyes wasn't a joke, it was happiness and comfortableness and acceptance, and that made Emma herself feel those very same things.

"Henry, can you finish setting the table for me, please?" Regina said, smiling softly as her son, their son, made his way towards the living room, jumping up and down.

"I am so sorry, Regina, but..." Emma stopped talking as Regina reached out and took one of her hands, squeezing it gently.

"Thank you," She said before leaning over and placing a soft kiss upon Emma's cheek, "Emma." The gesture was so unexpected and yet so comfortable that it felt almost familiar. "A glass of wine, perhaps?" Regina asked, carrying on as if nothing had happened, as if what they were doing was the most common thing in the whole world. It actually was... just not in their world. Yet.

"Yes, please." Emma replied after a moment or two of silence.

"Would you mind terribly grabbing those two glasses for me, dear?" Regina asked as she grabbed the two bottles of wine she had brought from the cellar earlier that day and a basket of bread. "I am afraid my hands are quite full."

"Huh, of course, anything else I can help you with...?" Emma reached for the glasses, her arm brushing against Regina's on the way.

"We shall see about that." Regina replied as she followed the path Henry had taken minutes ago.

Emma could almost swear she had heard something different in Regina's voice. And had that been a wink? What was going on? Was she already hallucinating? She had to be! She had yet to start drinking, though. But then again, Regina was rather intoxicating.  That must be it.

The dinner went extraordinarily well. It came to no surprise that Regina had made dinner for a battalion. She had even mentioned to Emma, perhaps after the first bottle of wine was over, that she should take some of the leftovers for the Charmings. She had said something in lines of being aware that pregnancies are complicated and that Snow should probably stay in bed and rest to avoid complications. She had even said that Emma should call her if she found herself in need of help to take care of the house and food. If this was what Christmas spirit was, Emma could finally understand why it seemed to be such a big deal to everyone.

They found themselves sitting on the family couch a few hours later. There were plates with half eaten slices of apple pie over the coffee table. The second bottle of wine, almost empty, stood by two still half-full glasses.

Henry was sitting in the middle, a fleece blanket covering his already half asleep body. He seemed to wake up a bit once Regina announced that they were going to watch Frozen, but then he was out after about 45 minutes.

After a little while longer Emma asked Regina if she would mind pausing the movie so that she could take Henry to bed. The older woman had simply nodded, reaching for the remote before letting her eyes follow Emma as she took their son upstairs. He was going to stay. She was going to let him stay.

Let it go, let it go Can't hold it back any more Let it go, let it go Turn away and slam the door I don't care What they're going to say Let the storm rage on, the cold never bothered me anyway

Emma returned and sat by Regina's side, using Henry's blanket to cover both their legs. She playfully wrapped an arm around Regina and squeezed the woman softly to her side. "C'mon, press play, I really want to know what happens next!"

Regina found herself comfortable and allowed her body to rest against Emma's as she playfully rolled her eyes back at the woman that kept trying to steal the remote. "You are such a child!"

"I know. Luckily for me, you are quite brilliant with children." Emma replied, letting the hand that had been resting on the other woman's shoulder go down slightly to find her hip.

"Comfortable, are we?" Regina asked, raising an eyebrow. No, she didn't mind the contact at all, she was just making sure that this was Emma she was interacting with, not the wine.

"Indeed, we are." Emma said, smiling as she finally felt Regina giving in completely.

It took them about 5 minutes to realize that their bodies fitted perfectly together. Emma was laying on the couch, one of her arms holding her head and the other wrapped around Regina, her hand resting upon the older woman's stomach. Regina, playing the little spoon, allowed one of her hands to rest by Emma's on her stomach. Almost not touching, but touching.

Let it go, let it go When I'll rise like the break of dawn Let it go, let it go That perfect girl is gone Here I stand in the light of day Let the storm rage on, The cold never bothered me anyway

Regina barely had time to acknowledge the fact that the movie was over when she felt Emma nudging her neck gently.

"You are such an Elsa. You know that, right?" Emma whispered in Regina's ear, making the older woman shiver softly.

"Do I feel that cold to you?" Regina asked, closing her eyes for a moment as she felt Emma's lips brushing against her neck as she younger woman shook her head.

"That's the thing... you know cold, but deep down inside, you are all warmth." Emma placed a soft kiss upon Regina's neck before pulling away as Regina started chuckling.

"No pun intended, right dear?" Regina asked once she caught her breath from all the laughing.

Emma rolled her eyes, poking Regina's stomach gently as if trying to remind the older woman that they were having a serious moment.

"I am so glad we are not sisters." Emma smiled at Regina's confused look before leaning over and placing a kiss upon her lips. "And the pun was so intended it hurts." She murmured before taking over Regina's mouth.

Through the years  We all will be together, If the Fates allow Hang a shining star upon the highest bough And have yourself a merry little Christmas now.

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