#help seeker

          Grief, pain, loss and agony. Those sinister sentiments wouldn’t even start delineate how Stefan feels the moment Elena drank human blood. Yes, he might be grateful that at least she’s alive but it is not the way meant to be. A blessing or a curse Stefan couldn’t decide as he blames himself every night that he saved Matt, a regret that shall always haunt him; same time, the moment he gazes at her eyes and smile even if it was heightened eases it all. She still retains her humanity that he hopes she never gave upon. Yet, Damon’s impulsive words are carved in Stefan’s mind, as he deep down knows that it might be inevitable for Elena to run rampage. However, he refuses to believe so. She is no him. She has an indomitable will to preserve her humanity, her family and her friends unlike Stefan who would her loss turns him head over heels. He needs to be stronger and that’s why he relapsed to human blood yet this time he tries to control it but till when. Another pitfall would be telling Damon about it as it would give him one more reason to prove Damon right. And that’s when Caroline jumps into conclusion.

        After spilling out all his concerns and fears in ink, Stefan closed his shabby brown journal and placed in the cupboard where the rest of the them are laid. He gazed silently at them as they were the only reminder of his past other than his exhausted restless mind. Yet all these thoughts were ambushed when he shut it close, coming toward the door while grabbing his leather jacket. He knew where is his destination. Caroline’s house. He prayed to find her there as he would need someone to speak with who wouldn’t judge his thoughts or blame him. Out of all residents, Caroline was the first to pop in his mind as they passed through a lot together: her transition, her father’s death, and Klaus. He always managed to be there for her as she has always been there beside him; moreover, she’s skilled when it comes to advice department, Stefan admits.