#hellorachelb

It was Noah’s little sister’s high school graduation that pulled the two of them back to Lima. While Rachel always loved visiting home, traveling while dealing with morning sickness wasn’t her idea of a good time. Leaning against him during the flight home, Rachel tried her best to nap though any decent rest evaded her. They hadn’t really talked about whether they were going to tell their parents about the baby or not and while she wouldn’t voice out loud that she was scared for their reaction, she kind of was. 

The show had been going steady for a month now and to celebrate and just relax, some of the cast was going out to a club. While Rachel had originally not wanted to go, she’d been dragged as a designated driver, though with not having her license in Britain she wasn’t sure whose bright idea that was. Still, she was hanging in a corner, taking a break from dancing when she caught a glimpse of a face that had been on her mind far too often, something she’d never admit. Still, she wasn’t sure if he would actually be at a place like this so she chalked it up to her mind playing tricks on her as she moved to the bar to order herself a water. 

Rachel had never been good at the whole dating thing. Truth be told, she hadn’t had much experience at it. But tonight she was supposed to be going out with Jesse and for the life of her she couldn’t figure out what to wear. He’d mentioned a Broadway show, though she didn’t know which one and while that helped, it really didn’t at the same time. 

Completely stumped for the moment, she moved to the bathroom, curled her hair and applied her makeup and by the time she got back to her room there was a knock on her door. A quick glance at the clock told her that she was running beyond late and she cursed to herself before moving to let Jesse in with an apology as she was still in her robe. “Give me a few more minutes. I’ve been struggling over what to wear.” She whispered, slightly insecure because this was their first real date. 

This was her second doctor’s appointment since she and Noah found out that she was pregnant. It had basically been what she was expecting. Today though, today was going to be different. This time the doctor was actually going to look for a heartbeat allowing them to hear their baby for the first time. 

As she sat on the exam table waiting for the doctor, Rachel couldn’t help but glance over at Noah nervously. Part of her was worried that something would be wrong with the baby but the other was mostly just worried about how the emotions that this was bound to stir up in the two of them, both positive and negative. “Are you ready for this?” She whispered her hand moving to rest on her nonexistent bump protectively. 

The moment Jesse left her classroom two weeks ago Rachel completely broke down. He claimed he loved her but she was certain that he didn’t even know what that meant. The next morning, she cashed in her entire vacation package, after all the calendar year was almost up anyway, and threw together a few bags before hopping on the next flight from New York to Ohio. She was such a screw-up and she couldn’t bear the possibility of seeing Jesse in the halls. She wasn’t sure what she was going to do once the holidays were over but for now, she was just going to hide and hope that the horrid feelings inside of her went away. 

It wasn’t until New Years rolled around that Rachel’s emotions got the best of her. She was a little drunk  admittedly and seeing all of her childhood friends with their significant others made her chest ache painfully. As the clock struck midnight she found herself wandering outside and dialing the number that she had deleted from her phone but not her memory. She wasn’t surprised when it went to voicemail, though hearing his voice made her breath hitch as tears rolled down her face. 

“I know that you probably hate me right now and you have every reason to, but all night I’ve been thinking of you, wishing that you were here with me. All my so called friends are inside right now kissing the ones they love and I’m alone...because you aren’t here. And yes I’m a little drunk, more than a little really...but god I want you Jesse, I miss talking to you and I really miss making love to you.”