“it’s okay to hurt & breakdown. you don’t have to be strong all the time.”
( ** & @hellomoonbrother ! )
he wants to just bury his face in his hands & never look at him again. he tries so hard to be STRONG, to be cool & calm but it just doesn’t work out for him. he doesn’t want atticus to know he’s struggling so terribly just to wake up in the morning. “i ... i don’t want to be w-weak, atti ...” he mumbles, not daring to look at him. eli rubs his eyes, shaking his head. “atti ... just ... i always feel so -- so guilty, a-and scared --- all the time. i’m scared i’ll -- i’ll hurt you, i’m scared that .... that it’ll happen again, that i’ll actually take someone else’s life & --- atti, i don’t want to make any more mistakes ...” he has to wrap his arms around atticus, now leaning his head on his chest despite their difference in height. “i don’t want to HURT anyone else!” his voice cracks & he can feel the tears now streaming down his cheeks.
