#heidirodri12

Okay so, sit the fuck down ‘cause I’m gonna tell you the worst fucking tale of woe you have ever heard, 'aigth? Grab a goddamned cookie.

So I’m just floating 'round my bongalow at the reef like the happy son of a bitch I am, when suddenly I see her. The most amazing motherfucking female seahorse I have ever seen. She was taking a shit by some seaweed and it was glorious. So I sashay on over and we get all Cinderella and Prince Charming like. We dance and twirl around; twinkle toes ain’t got nothin’ on us yo. But then, outta the blue she fucking grabs me by the tale and puts her eggs into my fucking pouch! And all I’m thinking is “WHAT THE FUUUUUUUCK?!!!?!?!!”. And that is how that bitch got me prego.

But don’t you move your little asses yet, there’s more. That bitch didn’t stay and get a motherfucking job to care for her motherfucking kids. No siree, too much to ask from the mademoiselle. She up and left to “find herself” and “see the world”. Man, she couldn’t have played me better if she had been a chess champion. So I’m left to deal with these stupid parasites all on my own. And I try to stay on point and give them quality time with daddy. Looks like they didn’t get the memo. After 2 goddamned days of excruciating labor the little motherfuckers pop up asking for food. Seriously? Do I look like a mammal? So I teach them where the motherfucking food and once they learn the greedy little sons of bitches eat EVERYTHING and LEAVE. Leaving me with a fucking weak body from labor and a fucking broken heart. I wish I’d never seen their mother taking a shit by the seaweed. I hope they get eaten by a motherfucking whaleshark who then pukes them out and eats them again until they are in an eternal loop of digestive goddamned misery.

A free verse poem.

I’m reviewing the places I’ve been before To maybe figure out where to go next. The expanse of the maze is before me Though I cannot see it all. I know its twisting, never ending, ever changing I know its not my duty to solve it and get out. I am here to explore it, to discover it and chart it.

I’ve already seen so many kinds of beautiful The most dangerous paths lead to epic discoveries. But I grow weary, and it doesn’t hurt to rest The maze will wait, its not going anywhere.