#hehehhh.

Vance being such a sloppy slobby teenage boy, trust🙌 he's forever Albert's pretty teenage dirtbag no matter how old he gets, but it comes with the downside of having to PARENT a teenage dirtbag son,,, lots of dirty laundry, messy snacking, carving things into the head board of the bed or dresser, teaching the puppy tricks with fruit loops

Vance picking up lil arts and crafts here and there, learning how to make thread friendship bracelets he'll leave in Al's coat pockets so he doesn't have to ACTUALLY give it to him

He's finally out of the basement He's gonna live his teenage years forever 🫶

THIS IS SOOO TRUE. Vance will be a teenager foreverrrrrr. It’s totally a bonus for Al that Vance is trans because he will look like a beautiful teenage boy for a longgggg ass time (speaking as a trans dude who still gets mistaken for being a highscholer lmao)

Vance does little to no chores unless daddy asks, and he never has any reason to mature. Frankly, he doesn’t want to. Even into his twenties he would blow up, scream, and cry with all the melodramatics of a teenager. Arrested development 💔

Arts and crafts Vance 💭 I would have to decide what crafts tbh. I don’t know if he would do a lot of crafts simply because they feel ‘girly’ to him and it would take some personal growth for him to get out all that toxic masculinity. But IF he did grow because of Al at all, I do think it would be in regard to his views on gender and queerness.

“I am just saying Mulan is not Phillipina. If your character is Chinese, the actress must be Chinese also!”

Augustine groaned.

“And I’m saying,” He finally muttered, “a lot of white people here aren’t going to know the difference.”

He took the lull in foot traffic to pick at where his tights had wandered too deeply between his buttocks. His arms strained in the blue coat as he did so - why did they make these costumes so small, anyway? He had a blonde wig on, and the ponytail was starting to make his neck itch.

The teenager glowered at him again. She said nothing, violently eating her popcorn with a vengeance. Across the plaza, the poor kid they got to play Mulan was sobbing into the sleeve of her costume. For someone in the Happiest Place on Earth, she looked far from happy.

He watched Weena flip through her notebook some more. Looking over her shoulder, Augustine noticed it was a list of Disney character names. Some had been cancelled out like Belle, Scar, Rapunzel, Aurora, and now, she was drawing a line over ‘Mulan’…

…He realized then she had a HIT LIST.

“Well, I’m off to look for the Racist Scandanavian Princess.”

He opened his mouth, before defeatedley settling on what to correct her: “Elsa’s a Queen, you know,”

“Well, it’s her fault she didn’t choose to be King.” Weena smirked haughtily. “I outrank her, I shall mock her as I please. It is the law.”

Augustine groaned again.

“Just don’t get kicked out, okay?” The desperation on his face must’ve given her at least a moment of remorse.

“Okay Augustine. Rest assured your employment here shall be safe.” She kissed his cheek before skipping off. As she leaned in close to his ear, he heard it. It sent a shiver down his spine.