#heejin.

josette had always felt a disconnect in herself, even if she didn't want to admit it, it had only grown stronger. it wasn't that amelia had always weighed down on her, that would be a lie but there had always been a hope that she was doing well. that he probably hated her parents like the next person and now she was dead. she couldn't sleep. not even the medication she stole from her friend could knock her out completely. all she could think about was the dvd, the one she would never watch. josette was regretting her decision more and more. she should have just been the child's mother - she really wanted that and now being a mother felt like a dream, a foreign concept because she knew it was possible for her to conceive but not likely.

the first thing she did when she arrived home was to run to make sure the tape was safe. it was a secretive action, one that was a silent torture but she didn't want it in anyone else's hand. "shit." her hand slammed against the dvd player before she pushed herself up. josette had lost her job, something she hadn't told her friend directly, she was reallt hurting and couldn't stop it. to her, if felt like everything that she wanted in life had been taken away from her. over the past couple of days, she'd been romanticising over the idea of matthew taking her back. feeling dizzy, she decided to lay on her living room floor.