#heartdemocracy

Even though he’s trying and somewhat you know he is, it doesn’t prove to be enough. Dirk’s too popular for you. Got too many friends, relationships, friendships and lately, it’s starting to upset you. You don’t try to talk to him first as much anymore. You don’t show him that attention he wants anymore. He gets it from everyone else. And slowly, he still means a lot to you but those old feelings are starting to fade - fast. Besides, John Egbert? You weren’t anything special. You were just another person that gave him the attention he wanted and fell in love with it - not you, but the attention, you feel.

So, here he is, texting you after days on end to apologize. Sometimes, you don’t think he’s trying. You don’t think he needs you. It shows he doesn’t even though his words through a phone says he does. Who knows how many people he needs? All of them, probably. You just feel like another person, nothing special. Never special. You liked how things were before when he used to actually pay a little attention to you - a dream come true, right? He’ll be fine without you. And through texting, you halted and stopped. Throwing your phone to the side of the couch before evacuating your poor, teary eye sight to the flat screen t.v, watching some chick flick that was playing.

And there, right before your eyes, he appears through your dad’s study, looking sad-eyed at you, you figured and abruptly, you stood. “Why are you here?”

          “I wanted to see you—”

“No, you didn’t. Why are you here?”

He’d gone silent, gulping a bit. He’s starting to anger you. Yes, at one point you were a painful handful but you didn’t make it a constant thing. Not like he did. He just wanted your attention, not you as a person and it hurt you physically, emotionally and mentally.

          “I—”

"Dirk. Answer my question.”

But you didn’t give him the chance. You didn’t give him the chance before your mind took control in anger. Walking closer to his form, you pushed him against a wall, grabbing his shirt before roughly mashing lips together. Except this time, it wasn’t soft, it wasn’t sweet. Not like the time when you were upset and he was there for you. When did he stop being there for you? When did he stop caring? And it all just piled on and left in the form of a kiss. You bit his lip, you bit his neck, your fingers scratching down his arms before pulling away entirely. Eyes spoke for themselves, mixtures of sadness and anger. Tears even dared to prickle at the corners of your eyes.

You just felt used. And you’re sorry you’re a shitty ass friend. You never were any good for him. Let some other John take your place and do what you obviously couldn’t for him.

  “You think I can still trust you?”

"Well... yeah. We're best friends, right..?"

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you're not busy doing any science stuff? i'm surprised!!!