Hobie & reader x Hobie headcanons I think about (not exclusively romantic, SFW):
I bet he only sits/perches on any surface that isn't a chair. When it's a chair he will not sit like a normal person, he will always kick his legs up or rock on it but that'll usually end in him toppling backwards and having mini heart attacks so he avoids them. He will sit on anything else like tabletops, floors, shelves the wall, the ceiling (spider core) but if he can't lean back on it he's not sitting on it for long and finding other options
Hanging out with him consists of either doing nothing or doing everything. Sometimes both. Loves roughhousing and bothering you and being part of your life actually
Will rope you into one of his 5 million sporadical hobbies like knitting a blanket or fixing a car or *cough* making his own bootleg version of the dimensional gizmo *cough*
Takes full advantage of his spider powers, even in his everyday life without giving a fuck about who sees (okay, maybe a little. Doesn't do it much in public as much as he does when you're hanging out privately or in small group settings)
Likes being upside down. Hanging upside down, walking upside down, swinging upside down. Likes not using the floor in general, refuses to be sedentary if it's not with you cause life gets boring and unsafe, but you don't
Is a Jack of all trades (master of none, but often better than a master of one) cause you'll need that type of versatility and flexibility in punk anarchy. Literally look at this guy and tell me that he doesn't cook the finest fried rice and season his convenience store noodles with home spices and top them with protein and greens. (You can't)
When he needs to do something he's never done before he proudly gains the AUDACITY to wing it (with proper research and instructions)
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Lyon and kalymos hanging out. Its mostly silent but occasionally kalymos meows at him for some manner of treat.
Lyon is hunched over a table doing something and kalymos climbs up onto his back and curls up there. Lyon can no longer move.
Lyon sitting on the couch normally and kalymos stretching out to take up the rest of the couch (anyone who tries to move her gets smacked)
Kalymos pawing at the dangly bits on lyon's outfit. her claw gets snagged and lyon has to spend 20 minutes detangling her from it because shes not being helpful
roathe tries to pet kalymos and lyon appears behind him. he doesnt stop him because kalymos loves pets, but he warns roathe that if he so much as knicks her with a claw he will personally throw him into a tar pit
marie asking lyon if he wishes to go do something with her. kalymos follows them and keeps snuggling up to marie's legs
lyon trying to get his trinkets back from kalymos, whose playing with them like cat toys
Have to yap abt SFAWTDE rq bc this was only supposed to be a SMALL fixation, until SOME PEOPLE started pointing out CHARACTER DETAILS and I’m NOT okay.
So. Smol yap + some headcanons/ theories that hurt me 💖💖
(⚠️ Spoiler Warning ⚠️ ofc)
Ok
The fact that D3rlord3 saw the King in Yellow, gained infinite information about the universe, and survived so long is all well and good (I’m of the belief that he didn’t edit the videos, they censored automatically bc that’s how The King works, and the reveal of D3rlord3’s name was his own influence pushing back, wanting to be known)
But have we considered the thought process there? HAVE we considered what that looks like.
Firstly, Avery got the laptop from a storage unit, which are auctioned off when abandoned (or so I’m told). If he survived, D3rlord3 likely wouldn’t have left the laptop to be found at all. Assuming he died (or just went crazy/ disappeared) his stuff would be put into storage if— if no friends or family came to collect it. If no one came looking.
Meaning D3rlord3 died alone.
In that instant, when he looked at The King— D3rlord3 had to get from ALL OF EVERYTHING to specifically AVERY. I’m of the belief that the information isn’t instant, it’s exponential. Anything you think about spirals into all the information about that thing and you can’t forget any of it. Meaning he survived so long because of his focus on one thing.
Probably, it started with seeing this has happened before. Hundreds upon thousands of times— so many people were lured in before him. Then comes the sense that he never wants it to happen again. He’s seen it thousands of times, and sees it won’t stop here.
Then his thoughts land on the next person in line.
Avery.
In an instant, he’d know Avery better than Avery knows himself.
With all the knowledge in the universe, he sees a possibility where Avery doesn’t turn left.
He knows it’s possible. So he runs, knowing his own death, knowing he can’t stop it, or what comes after, but knowing exactly what he can do with the minutes he has. The minutes he only has because of Avery. Because of that desperate focus, even as his sense of personhood crumbles… and the one thought, holding the universe at bay:
Headcanon Time (AKA Listen To Me Obsessively Blabber About Shit): Knockout’s “lack” of reaction to Breakdown’s death wasn’t apathy—it was dissociation.
Okay but hear me out: Knockout not reacting when Breakdown died? That wasn’t him not caring. That was him shutting down. Like full-on emotional dissociation. Breakdown was his partner—combat partner, lab partner, life partner if you squint—and then suddenly he’s just gone. No closure. No body. No time to grieve. Just back to work, back to polishing the finish, back to pretending everything’s fine.
And then we get to the Silas/Breakdown episode. And that’s when it hits. That’s when Knockout finally reacts—but not with tears or mourning. With cold fury. With surgical cruelty. Because seeing Breakdown’s corpse being puppeted around like a meat mech? That’s not just grotesque, it’s personal. It’s a violation. It’s the moment the grief finally claws its way out, but it comes out twisted, because Knockout doesn’t know how to process it any other way.
Yeah, the writers kinda fumbled the emotional follow-through, but if you squint (and I do, aggressively), it makes perfect sense. Knockout didn’t know how to grieve. Or maybe he did, but he didn’t have the space to. He’s a Decepticon. A medic. He compartmentalized, because that’s what he had to do. And when the dam finally broke, it wasn’t pretty—but it was real.
Anyway, I think about this way too much. Still curious if anyone else read the scene the same way?
(Also, thanks for coming to my emotional breakdown about Breakdown. I need to knock myself out now. 😊)
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Before we get into the thick of it, a little bit of context; the version of him that I'm writing here (and my own personal cannon atm) is apart of an au / not official cannon. The story is in such early stages that I don't have much else to show for it aside from my takes on the scps it focuses on (doc being one of them), but all that's important to know for this post is that doc is currently working for the foundation under supervision as apart of a 'Rehabilitation' program made for several of the humanoid anomalies. Ok? Ok. Let's get into it.
• giving him the name Florence Haselhurst, it's a name he gave himself in young adulthood.
• trans man, afab, hormonaly intersex.
• physically appears in his 40's
• was once a human, when he died from disease, he was brought back by small death to continue his work alongside several others. Even through none were related by blood, they saw each other as siblings, family. They were the first plague doctors and were known as 'children of the burrow.'
• obviously, my take and design for him is pretty humanoid, but he still has many bird-esc traits; feathers across his body being the big one, as well as altered hands, talon like nails, and altered feet, as well as a tail. Cuppled with his limbs fadding to the same black as his feathers and black scleras with yellow eyes, all of this was gained after being brought back.
•in addition to this, he has blueish undertones to his skin, giving it a purple hue. His body temperature is a lot colder than the average person, as well as his organs working at a much lower / slower pace. This is because he's technically undead.
• his robes and mask are still a part of his body, in the same vain as the clothing of alagadda's citizens being a removable part of their body's, the robs or 'outer hide' is the same way. Both the robs and mask are made of organic materials and act as protection. When they are on, they are indistinguishable from what's underneath.
• On that note, he HATES his body for a variety of reasons, which will get to later, so much that he barely ever takes his outer layer off, just to keep himself properly clean. It's to the point that he sees his mask as more of his face than his actual face. Even with the comfort it provided, he still has little love for what's there with it on.
• deals with a lot of gender dysphoria and body dysmorphia. The gender dysphoria has been since childhood and was at its worst when he was young. The dysmorphia came on later with all the changes that happened, it's to the point were he has a hard time recognizing his body as himself in the presence day.
• growing up in a heavily Catholic convent in the 1500s obviously didn't help. Dude delt with so. Much. Catholic trauma.
• has been to alagadda. His memories of it, however, are all messed up. He can't fully remember it
• had a family when he was still human, a husband and an adopted daughter
• performed multiple surgery's on himself later in life, including giving himself top surgery! (It was the only sane one)
•Bi. Bi as ALL hell.
• presents himself as polite and professional as possible, though he is still really sarcastic most of the time. He has a very dry sense of humor.
•can be really enthusiastic and energetic, he just needs to be around the right people
• lurned to read and write (mostly write) properly later in life when he was in alagadda. Up until that point, he copied what he could understand to try and improve.
• has a paternal side, even if his isn't the best parent.
• as apart of the rehabilitation program, the foundation attempted to force him out of his delusions, a lot of meds and a little bit of therapy later, it worked, and now the doctor is dealing with the aftermath with little to no support. Great work guys.
• presently, he's on antidepressants, antipschotics, and mood stablisers to keep everything in check.
• loves poetry, writes and reads it
• doodles alot on his journal, he's a pretty decent artist, though he doesn't see himself as one.
• doesn't need to eat, and often doesn't like to, his wighet fluctuations alot.
• so much undiagnosed shit. He needs more therapy then he's getting
•reads lots, many of which are current medical textbooks to cachup on what he missed, fiction wise he loves a good mystery.
•is permitted to grow certain things in his cell, and has a small garden. It's mostly types of lavender yes, but there's also an assortment of other herbs, many of wich he uses for tea.
• low-key a smoker, he still prefers old-timey pipes
•has dabbled in a lot of...plants. you can thank alagadda for his interest
• used to like cooking, and was pretty good at it, though he doesn't think he is anymore
Doc has been a fun character to write ngl. He hits that sweet spot of the potential to be really tragic and having messy morals that are fun to explore. I love my old bird-man <3333
(Because I've lost all control over my life /silly)
(Fun fact: some of these headcanons are based on actual roach behaviour)
Agender (Goes by He/They)
Genuinely likes pineapple on pizza
Comprised of many roaches, but mainly Oriental Cockroaches
Hates the smell of peppermint oil, eucalyptus oil, citronella oil and crushed bay leaves
Has a sweet tooth
On the Asexual spectrum
Cleans/Grooms himself on the couch
Usually sleeps through the day and is awake at night
Yes, they do their taxes individually
Usually taller than the kids but up to Sam's chest
Usually goes to the tallest person in the group and peeks over their shoulder if scared, the only exception to this is Papineau
Has a good relationship with Sam, Joel, Morton and (Surprisingly) Hellen
Is afraid of Frogs, Bright/unexpected lights and people he isn't comfortable around
Horrible at remembering names, so he calls people by attributes he can recognise (Hellen is "Mask Lady", Joel is "Tooth Boy", Papineau is "Blue Man", etc.)
Doesn't have legs under his trench coat
When he first arrived at the apartment, Sam had to convince him not to deep-clean the entire apartment. He obliged on the condition that he at least deep-cleans the bathroom, which Sam accepted for that day only. Ever since moving in, he's toned down the neat freak behaviour
Has done laundry at the dead of night before
Doesn't talk while grooming himself, because his antennas are in his mouth for cleaning
(Mainly a visual thing for drawing) Has tiny bean shaped eyebrows that spawn in when he needs to emote a more complicated expression that can't be done with just his sunglasses
A little slow when it comes to reactions and emotional intelligence, mainly because he's just learning how to be human
In the Flawed Ritual ending, his reaction to Sam's mutation was confusion and panic. In the scenario where Sam becomes mindless after the mutation, he wound run for the hills and stay in hiding even after the apocalypse is over, replaying the event over and over in his mind to see if there was anything he could've done to stop it...But there'd be nothing. Overtime he'd distance himself, viewing everyone as a possible threat until the curse get to him fully and he begins lashing out at anyone in his paranoid state. "It's for the sake of self-preservation", he'd think to himself, trying to justify his actions. (AKA: Roaches succumbs to the wonders of the outdoors thanks to the power of paranoia)
