#he's everything

Like–???

And then you find out that he’s almost thirty. He’s older than Laios. And you’re like, okaaaaay, that’s a little older than I expected, but that definitely explains why he hates being treated like a kid so much.

And then much, much later you find out that he has a wife and kids. And you’re just sitting there like, huh, okay. Okaaaaay. Well, this really, really, really explains why he doesn’t like being treated like a kid. He’s a dad. He’s experienced the ups and downs of parenthood. He’s the only character in the group that’s canonically had sex. Okay. Yeah. Wowza.

And then shortly after you find out that he’s his race’s equivalent of a middle-aged man, and it’s like, okaaaaay. That recontextualizes a lot of things. He’s a middle-aged man trapped in a twelve-year-old’s body. Okay. Yeah. Wowee. Gee willickers.

And you think that’s it. You think that nothing else could top that. And then the bicorn chapter comes rolling in with a steel chair and you find out that his wife left him and all three (count that, three) of his daughters are fully grown adults. And as you’re reeling back from all of this new information, they deliver one last final slap to your face.

Chilchuck was a teen parent.

But what makes this all so funny, so fascinating, is that Chilchuck arguably has the most normal backstory out of anyone in the group. And if he was literally any other race, tallman, elf, dwarf, whatever, this information would still be surprising, sure, but it wouldn’t hit the same way it does when he’s a half-foot. Ryoko Kui really said, You know what would be funny? If I made the party’s token grumpy middle-aged man, father of three, look like this: