#hcbm

Tells her kids that they can’t talk to their dad (my bf) and tells everyone that they don’t want to talk to their dad

Refuses to schedule doctor appointments on our days, but tells the whole world that she does everything alone and never gets help for doctor appointments. Says my bf is not involved parent

Was a stay at home mom for 8 years while my bf worked 2 jobs, but now that they are split up she claims she “did it alone the entire time”.

Tells the judge everytime she got arrested that me and my bf “provoked her”, while she has a protective order that says she cannot be within a certain distance from my bf and continues to touch, push, intimidate, laugh at, and stare at. All caught on video and vice recordings

Claims she has “receipts” about how she was “abused” but never showed them in court. While my bf provided pictures and police reports of scars and bruises he got from her and she claims he’s “lying”

Refuses to work a full time job bc she insists that she needs to be at school with the kids (more on that later) while my bf works full time and claims that he’s a dead beat. They have 50/50 custody right now….

Constantly misses work to be at school with the kids and harasses staff members, parents, and CHILDREN ( third graders )

Has made a 8 year old child cry and have anxiety going to school because she makes faces and says nasty comments towards the child and her mom

Got into a fight with a bunch of moms and had prevented our daughter from talking to their daughters because “she’s ugly” or “she’s a awful friend you can’t talk to her”

Constantly reposts videos on TikTok talking negatively about my bf while also reposting TikToks that say “no revenge bc I stay quiet while you talk about me”…..narcissistic behavior

Refuses to let the kids have any picture of their dad unless SHES in it ( provoking my bf by showing pictures of he and him kissing in the past)

Claims she has “moved on from her abuser”, but refuses to delete old pictures of my bf and continues to want attention from him

Called me “the mistress” in front of many parents at a field trip and degraded me to others publicly

Claims my bf is a cheater, when he broke with her before I even started talking to him and she refused to be broken up with bc “why would you do that to our children” and still would like to get back with him after a year of court battles and constant arrests

Gaslights and manipulates the children and intimidates them into telling the amicus ( children’s lawyer) lies about me and my bf. Forced them to say that they see us kissing and repeats what she has said about me and my bf to the amicus

Our daughter crying and begging to stay with us whenever she has to go back to her moms house and yet tells the whole world that they rather stay with her

Manipulating the kids into believing their dads bed is “dirty” bc I sleep in it and forced them to never sleep in the same bed with their dad, no matter if they have a bad dream or they are scared. The “bed is dirty bc his gf is dirty”

Refuses to let my bf post any pictures of the kids bc only she can show how happy they are, while also saying bc he doesn’t posts pictures of them that he doesn’t love them

When she found out that me and my bf were dating, she went to our job ( which you can only enter with a badge, but she waited for someone to open the gate and followed them in), waited hours in the parking lot until my bf went to his truck to then physically harm him and hitting him multiple times in the face and attempted to steal his phone bc she “needed money”. And she brought the kids WITH HER and the kids are now traumatized from the whole altercation. My bf refused to let her leave so the cops can come and handle it.

( Before a protective order was in place) She verbally harassed my bf into meeting up with her at a gas station, which he was with me at the time. She claimed she needed medicine for the kids and didn’t have any money ( she moved in with her parents that have a lot of money, but used it as an excuse to see him). We met up with her and recorded her grabbing his arm when he tried passing her the bag of medicine, attempted to push his fingers back and try to steal the phone…again…all while screaming for help that he is hurting her. That night she got arrested and was out on probation

Tells the kids that their dad doesn’t love them and only cares about me, doesn’t want them calling him daddy or saying they love him

Tells the kids that I ruin their family and that they cannot like me, while we play games together and our daughter said “I love you” and calls me her other mom/ big sister. Our son laughs and plays with me and I take naps with our daughter

Got arrested during a field trip bc she continued to touch, laugh at, stare at, and pushed me. She is now on limited house arrest with an ankle monitor

Continues to harass everyone around us and the children, gets arrested multiple times, assaults my bf and me many times, yet never faces any hard consequences and continues to roam free. Whereas if my bf EVER fought back, he would have immediately been arrested and have the kids taken away…..

Random: but when her sister passed away, she posted pictures of herself and the kids smiling and the last photo had the one picture of her sister…even though she has a history of hating her family and bad mouthing all of them

She admitted to my bf and her best friend at the time years ago that her father molested her, but when we brought it up in court (bc she can lose the kids for having a pedophile where they live) she claimed that she made it all up. So knowing that, the kids cannot be alone with the grandpa but can still live with him…. I love the justice system

She would mock God in front of my bfs family when they were together and mocked those who go to church after traumatic events, yet after they broke up became a Christian and boasts how God is on her side and that she’s the perfect follower…

It’s exhausting. It’s draining. ITS NOT EASY. You won’t “enjoy” your 20s. It is very difficult. Unless you are with someone whose ex is normal/cordial, it’s not for the weak. Your life is changed forever. It’s a scary life to have because most of the time it’s revolved around the high conflict coparent, even if you decide to have kids on your own. I wanna blog about my experience about dealing with a hcbm, as well as give/take advice about being a step mom, and being a stepmom in your 20s. I wanna show others that you’re not alone and that we are in this together.

Having a high conflict baby momma (hcbm) is so hard. It’s depressing tbh. And not only do I wanna share my story with anyone who relates, but I would love advice or even start a conversation. I do not have children of my own so I don’t know what having those emotions entails, but I’ve dealt with my parents split and remarry, and I’ve dated a single father with a hcbm in the past (not to THIS extreme that I’m dealing with now).

I love these kids. Idc if they are biologically mine or not, the bond and love I’ve created with these kids is so bitter sweet. Kinda like siblings but more than that. Being a step mom and navigating what my place is can be sooooo confusing. I have to calculate what I can and cannot do/say and I know a lot can relate to that. The main things I know I CAN do to parent them is:

Stop any arguments/sibling fights

Cool and prepare food

Call out any rudeness or back talk and be able to talk to them about it

Asking permission for things and they listen when I say yes or no

Those are some basics, but I’ve seen bio moms thinking that those pints are already over stepping…I guess

The first time I met her was when we first started dating and she called me a fucking whore. So we haven't had the best relationship.

For a while I was doing what she wanted I stayed away whenever my bf had his son over and eventually she was fine with me being there. Everything was going good for awhile until covid got really bad. That'd when she stopped letting him come over at all.

She started claiming that he was terrified of me and he didn't want to come over. She claimed a lot of things at this point such as; I was walking around the house in just my bra and underwear around him (I don't do this even if no one's home let alone when he is over.), I told him she wasn't his mom, we apperantly took him over to someone in my family's house (both my parents are dead and I dont really talk to anyone else.).

We worked through it and he started coming over again. Which lead to half of his medication went missing. We never figured out what happened to it but for once she didn't blame it on me she blamed our roomates (which honestly I can see because one of them didn't clean like ever but this particular weekend cleaned like half the house then got really sick after).

It continued for a while of the off an on mess for a while. Then December of 2021 we broke up for a little while and he was dealing with a bunch of mental stuff and got into therapy. Between then and mothers day she was refusing to let his son come over constantly making up excuses. She let us take him out for dinner on Friday before mother's day since she wouldn't let my bf even have a single night.

That brings us to last weekend her latest excusing being he is severely allergic to cats (he never showed any reaction when we've had him around cats but whatever.) And that he was sick with a fever. If he was actually sick that'd be one thing but he showed no signs that he was off at all and he was out with her family before we came to pick him up. If he's sick should he really be around a bunch of people some who have bad health conditions and could die if they got sick.

Anyway we went to pick him up and didn't give her any other option and we had a really great weekend.