#hbno

It seems like everyone is cheering in the tags but... D&D were not involved and instead it had a female showrunner and female director. I was kind of hopeful? Because I like women and I had liked JESSICA JONES (which the director worked on) a lot.

Instead we are getting a TV adaption of FIRE AND BLOOD which was... grossly mysognistic at best, and kind of dull at worst.

Is Tommen Baratheon. He’s six. His mother, Cersei, was recently removed as Regent and his wife, Margaery is set to go on trial.

Daenerys Targaryen? She’s in the Dothraki sea with Drogon.

Sansa Stark is in the Vale of Arryn.

Arya Stark is in Braavos.

Bran Stark is lost Beyond the Wall.

Tyrion Lannister just escaped slavery in Mereen with Jorah Mormont.

Barristan Selmy is trying to hold Mereen together in the absence of his queen.

Brienne of Tarth and Jaime Lannister are in the Riverlands and they are in fucking trouble with Lady Stoneheart.

Davos Seaworth is in the North, though there are rumors that th Notherners have killed him, but he has actually just been given an impossible task.

Theon Greyjoy just escaped the Dreadfort with Jeyne Poole, the poor Northern girl who was forced to wed Ramsay Bolton. He found his sister Asha, who was a captive of Stannis Baratheon.

Jon Connigton has just landed in Westeros with the Golden Company and plans to put the boy he had been raising since the days of the Mad King, Aegon Targaryen, on the Iron Throne.

D.B. Weiss never worked in television before and David Benioff’s most famous films were Troy and X-Men Origins: Wolverine.

Apparently Jon kills Dany (and I had always expected one of them to kill the other, per the Azor Ahai prophecy but doing it AFTER the White Walker threat is defeated makes NO SENSE).

It’s sort of like GRRM gave them an outline but D&D can’t read very well so they only got bits and bobs.

Tyrion and Jon are both brought before some kind of ruling Council. This also makes no sense because I can’t imagine everyone is suddenly on the same page. Like the Dornish? And the Tyrells? IDK.

Jon is apparently sent to the Wall which is so stupid because he was fucking supposed to STAY ON THE WALL this entire damned time. He made a vow.

Conflicting reports as to whether Tyrion survives or is killed.

And here is the WEIRDEST thing. Apparently the Council picks... wait for it... Bran to be king.

Now, for those of you who don’t know, I was always a Bran Stark stan. He was my favorite. And a lot of people online say he is BORING and it makes me mad. I would fight with people about his ability to be the Stark in Winterfell and they would say he couldn’t because he can’t father children (allegedly).

But there has been absolutely nothing in the books to suggest that Bran would want the Iron Throne. In fact, he repeatedly thinks that Robb is “marching the wrong way.”

Sansa is the one being prepared for political life. Bran learned magic and Northern stuff.

Also, like, if Bran is so damned important why did they CUT HIS CHARACTER FOR AN ENTIRE FUCKING SEASON. Maybe that was when he was getting King lessons?

I mean, I think the whole point of the books is that politics is hard and it corrupts people even if they have a good heart and good intentions initially. (At least with Robert, Ned, and Dany.) So why would they just pick someone new to King’s Landing politics to end?

It’s like... all of this has meant nothing?

Basically he is like, "IDK, we never paid attention to the Sand Snakes."