#hbhumpday

“I’m not a hooker!” Sebastian insisted.

“Oh, you’re not a hooker?” Hunter asked, interested suddenly. “I would have to beg to differ.”

“I’d love you to beg,” Sebastian shot back.  “I’m not a hooker.  I just can’t tell you.

“Where do you go, though?” Hunter asked when Sebastian snuck back into their room at 3:30 am.

“Um…” Sebastian blanked.

“C’mon, just tell me,” Hunter said.

“Have you ever wanted to see the world?” Sebastian asked.  “Not just now but at any point in time that you wanted?”

“Uh… I mean… I don’t know. Is that a normal wish?” Hunter asked.

“I don’t know,” Sebastian replied.

“You mean like Doctor Who style?” Hunter asked.

“Sure,” Sebastian agreed.

“I mean, I guess that would be okay,” Hunter replied.

“Yeah,” Sebastian said wistfully.

“Is that where you go?” Hunter asked.

“Don’t be stupid,” Sebastian scoffed.

“So… why did you bring it up?” Hunter asked.

“To throw you off,” Sebastian said.

“Are we talking Tardis or Vortex Manipulator or like a Delorean?” Hunter asked.

“None of the above, go to sleep,” Sebastian said.

“Aw, come on,” Hunter pouted, though Sebastian couldn’t see in the darkness of their room at 3:30 am.

“Where would you go? If you could?” Sebastian asked.

“Anywhere?  Anywhen?” Hunter asked.

“Yeah.”

“I don’t know. Everywhere,” Hunter said.

“Exactly,” Sebastian said.

And Hunter understood where Sebastian went.  And why. And didn’t ask about it again.

It was at least a couple of weeks later when Sebastian brought it up.

“Do you want to come?” Sebastian asked.

“Where?” Hunter asked, half expecting him to mean to Scandals with Nick and Jeff.

“Everywhere,” Sebastian said, smiling.  “Do you trust me?”

“Y-yes?” Hunter guessed, suddenly apprehensive.  He took Sebastian’s hand and they were off – hurtling through time and space.

They’d left at night, but it was clearly high noon now.  Cherry trees were in bloom around them.

“Japan?” Hunter guessed. Sebastian laughed and dropped the hand he was holding.

“Washington DC,” he said. Sebastian fiddled with his watch, setting an alarm for a few hours ahead.  “Thought you’d like it, army boy.”

“I’ve never been to Washington DC,” Hunter admitted.  “I’ve heard it’s beautiful.”

“You can see it’s beautiful,” Sebastian pointed out.

“When is it?” Hunter asked.

“Not sure.  Could be this afternoon, could be tomorrow, it could be 100 years ago, it didn’t matter,” Sebastian said with a shrug.

“The trees are in bloom, it’s probably April,” Hunter observed.

“April, anyyear,” Sebastian said.  “Sure. Let’s walk this way.”

“How does it work?” Hunter asked.

“My grandfather gave me this watch when he died,” Sebastian said.  “And then about a year after that, I found out he wasn’t my grandfather.  I can pick a time and a place and go there, or there’s a random option that only works half the time.  The batteries die really quickly so I can never stay as long as I like.”

“What do you usually do?” Hunter asked.

“I go to museums,” Sebastian said. “I go to plays and musicals and shows.  I go to France and Italy and Spain and look at the sculptures and monuments and architecture.  I’m interested in art, what can I say?”

“I never would have thought you were an art guy,” Hunter said.

“Nature too.  I’ve been to a bunch of national parks, forests, mountains…” Sebastian said.  “I’ve seen the sun rise and set from most mountaintops, and I can tell you where the best views are.”

“How hashtag aesthetic of you,” Hunter replied.

“If you’re going to be rude, you can go home,” Sebastian snipped.

“Sorry,” Hunter said. “You don’t seem like that pastel aesthetic guy.”  Sebastian shrugged.

“I’m full of surprises,” Sebastian said.  “It would be boring if you could read everything about me off my face.”

“Why did you decide to bring me here after months of denying everything?  Why me?  Why now?” Hunter asked.

“You’re the only one I felt I could trust, I guess,” Sebastian said.  “If it was anyone else, it would be a bragging thing.  Like ‘look what I can do’.  But I thought you’d appreciate it.”

“You’re right, I do,” Hunter said.  They’d walked all the way to the World War II memorial.  The fountain was on and it was beautiful.  “My grandfather’s brothers were all in World War II.”

“Really?” Sebastian asked.

“My grandfather fought in Korea.  My father joined at 18 to fight in Vietnam when everyone else was against it.  He made a career out of it.  I think he was in his 40s when I was born.  My older brother… Conrad…  He was killed in action in 2003.  He’s buried over at Arlington.  I’m not being forced into it.  I want to.  It’s the right thing to do.”

“A lot of people join for the wrong reasons these days,” Sebastian said.  “A lot of them are just rednecks who want to kill people.  And that’s not what it’s about.  It’s about protecting the innocent.  All the innocent.  Yes, it’s about freedom and liberty and the American Way, but it’s not about invading countries and converting them to capitalism and democracy.”

“Exactly,” Hunter agreed.

“I did not mean for this to get heavy,” Sebastian apologized.

“How long do we have before we have to get back?” Hunter asked.

“Usually I like to leave before this thing hits 30% battery, because if it hits low battery, all it does is beep and tell me it has low battery and refuses to do anything else,” Sebastian rolled his eyes.  “We have at least another hour.”

“Do we have time to walk all the way down to Lincoln?” Hunter asked.

“Absolutely,” Sebastian agreed, and they continued in that direction.  There were people all around them, but they didn’t care.  They were just two more faces in the crowd of Washington DC, in April Anyyear.  “Your brother’s at Arlington?”

“Yeah,” Hunter said quietly.

“I’m sorry,” Sebastian said.

“He joined after 9/11 when he was still 17,” Hunter said.  “Dad didn’t want him to go.”

“Do you want to go over there?  We have time,” Sebastian said.

“Yeah, I guess, why not,” Hunter agreed.  They descended the stairs from the Lincoln Memorial and Sebastian directed them to the nearest subway station.

“It’s not far, I don’t think,” Sebastian said, looking at  the subway map.

“What year is it?” Hunter asked curiously.

“Oh, it’s just earlier today,” Sebastian shrugged.  “Possibly tomorrow.  It didn’t matter when we were leaving, just that the sun was out.  A moonlit walk around DC seemed a little more romantic than necessary.”

“Romantic?  Are you trying to seduce me?” Hunter joked.

“Yeah, how am I doing?” Sebastian joked back.

“I’m somehow managing to avoid falling in love with you,” Hunter replied.

“I’m clearly not trying hard enough,” Sebastian snorted.  “Just wait til the next time I take you somewhere, and you find out that we get married.”

“We get married?” Hunter asked.  “To each other?”

“No, to penguins, yeah, to each other,” Sebastian rolled his eyes.

“You’re messing with my head,” Hunter accused.

“Only one way to find out,” Sebastian smiled.

“How?”

“Your offer has been acknowledged,” Hunter said.  A pause. Then, “do I look lonely to you?”

“You don’t look the same way you used to,” Sebastian said.

“I’ve lost weight,” Hunter said.

“No, I mean… you don’t look… happy,” Sebastian said.

“I’m not,” Hunter admitted.

“And you look tired and stressed,” Sebastian continued.  Hunter didn’t flinch as Sebastian reached out to massage his shoulders.

“I am,” Hunter agreed. “She knows.  About us.  What we were.”

“I should hope so,” Sebastian snorted.

“But I told her we were done,” Hunter continued.  “Because she didn’t really want you here.”

“Understandable.  We are done,” Sebastian said.  “Question.”

“Yes?”

“If you’re not happy, why are you doing this?”

“I love her,” Hunter said. “That’s not bullshit.”

“Love is supposed to end with happily ever after, isn’t it?” Sebastian asked.

“I think we all knew I was never going to get that,” Hunter said.

“So this is how it happens,” Sebastian said, fidgeting with Hunter’s tie.  “The death of a bachelor.”

“That’s dramatic,” Hunter said.

“Yes not untrue,” Sebastian replied.

“Are you like this at all weddings or just mine?” Hunter asked.

“Like what?”

“Just such a positive ray of sunshine,” Hunter rolled his eyes.

“Just yours.  Usually I’m a pessimistic lump of sod,” Sebastian said. “I’m on my best behavior for my ex-boyfriend’s wedding.  Because I agreed to be the best man – which is quite possibly the stupidest thing I’ve ever done but what can I say?  I took pity on you.”

“Pity?”

“The death of a bachelor,” Sebastian repeated, singing dramatically.

“If you ever get married, I am going to be so obnoxious at your wedding,” Hunter said.

“Who said you were invited?” Sebastian asked.

“Wow, a man after my own heart,” Hunter said sarcastically.  “I’m the only friend you’ve got, asshole, who else is going to be your best man?”

“Ease up on the compliments, dickhead, you know they get me all hot and bothered,” Sebastian shot back.

“Boys!” a voice rang out from behind them.  “Can we please act like adults?”  It was Courtney.  They hadn’t noticed her come in.

“You told her we’re adults?” Sebastian whispered loudly to Hunter.  “Boy is she going to be disappointed.”

“Sebastian,” Courtney sighed.

“Yes, ma’am,” Sebastian replied, smartening up immediately.  They’d met a handful of times, and they usually got along pretty well, considering the circumstances.  Courtney had always suspected about Hunter and Sebastian, and Sebastian had always suspected she knew.  But she’d never confronted him – either one of them – about it.

“Ready?” Courtney asked Hunter.  The rehearsal dinner.  All of Hunter and Courtney’s closest relatives were downstairs.  Sebastian was the only one not family, as Courtney’s maid of honor was her sister, Katrina.

“Yeah,” Hunter said. She kissed his cheek and the three of them left the room.

Sebastian had never liked family, especially in large numbers, and especially someone else’s. They were racist, and annoying, and loud, and if he heard the question, “and when are you going to find a nice lady and settle down?” one more time, he was probably going to rip his own head off.

He’d met Hunter’s mom many times while he and Hunter had been dating (and seen her several times since, as they’d stayed ‘friends’ after), and she’d asked him multiple times, “and are you seeing anyone, dear?” to which Sebastian would force a smile and say anything besides, “yeah, your son, you imbecile.”

Hunter had kept his relationship with Sebastian a secret from everyone the entire two years.  One year at Dalton, and one after.  (Some of their friends at Dalton had known.)  And just for the record, Sebastian was the one that had broken up with Hunter. If Sebastian was going to be in a relationship, he needed to be open about it.  None of the secret bullshit.  Not after two years.  And Hunter was scared.  So Sebastian had ended it.  But that certainly didn’t mean he wanted Hunter any less.

“Is this seat taken?” Sebastian looked up to see Hunter looking down at him.  Sebastian gestured that Hunter could have the seat if he wanted it.  “Sorry this isn’t fun.”

“It would be funner if there was alcohol harder than pink moscato,” Sebastian said, tipping the rest of the liquid into his mouth.  Was it wine? Was it champagne?  Who cared?

“My mom will card you if she sees you,” Hunter said.

“We went to school together, we’re the same age,” Sebastian responded.

“I can’t accept your offer,” Hunter said.  

“I didn’t think you would,” Sebastian replied.

“You were the one who broke up with me,” Hunter reminded him.  Sebastian shrugged.

“Even perfect people make mistakes,” he said.

“You haven’t had a boyfriend for three years,” Hunter said.  “Not even one.  I know you don’t want me to get married, but it’s too late now, Bas.  Where was all this a few years ago?”

“I was angry,” Sebastian admitted.  “I didn’t think you’d find someone else so quickly.”

“You and I had been broken up for a couple months when I started seeing Courtney,” Hunter pointed out.

“I know,” Sebastian said. “You know how time can run together… I just kept telling myself, I’ll do it tomorrow, and then I wouldn’t, and tomorrow was next week, and then it was October, you know how it happens.”

“Yeah, I get you,” Hunter said.

“Did you ever love me?” Sebastian asked, not sure if he wanted the answer either way.  Hunter nodded quietly, taking a sip of his water. “Why didn’t you fight for me?”

“Because you were right,” Hunter said.  “You deserved better than me.  You should have someone who isn’t afraid, and it’s been three years, and I’m still afraid. If we were still together, it would be five years and… I couldn’t do that to you.  Just as much as I could never tell my mother, I couldn’t force you to keep me a secret.  So I gave you up because it was best for you.  I didn’t realize you weren’t getting over me either until it was too late.”

“I’m not saying don’t marry Courtney, and I’m not saying marry me instead, because I’m me and you’re you, and I don’t think it would have worked out anyway, I’m just offering… Me,” Sebastian said.  “It’s not a wedding unless somebody sleeps with the best man.  And I don’t think it’s going to be Courtney.”

“I’m trying to refute your statement, but it seems pretty true,” Hunter said.  “But it’s not going to be me either.  I’m sorry, Sebastian.”

“Don’t be,” Sebastian said. “I broke up with you, remember? One more drink.”  Sebastian smiled and clinked his wine glass with Hunter’s water one.  “To the death of a bachelor and his happily ever after.”

“How could I ask for more?” Hunter asked.