#hazelclaw

Just going to clear up some things first. This clan, Lakeclan, takes place in Quebec, Canada, in a real place called Lake Bernard. If you don’t know where that is, well you probably know where Ottawa, the capital of Canada is, and Lake Bernard is around 70 minutes away.

Grey's notes: Actually, I don't know where Ottawa is, ehehe. Canadian geography is entirely unknown to me; I'm Australian, you see. But it's easy enough to find out.

I know the wildlife and plants/trees quite well, as we go up there several times a year to the family cottage. I assume that since many people bring their cats to cottages with them, and it’s very easy for a cat to get lost in unknown territory, that there would be a few ex-kittypets in this clan. Lakeclan doesn’t really have a big issue with kittypets, because hey, to them it’s just a cat who wants to join their clan. Free apprentice/warrior, which is a good thing. I’m not going to go into depth about the territory, but it’s woods with mainly coniferous trees, by a lake(obviously), There are lots of streams and Rocks in their territory, too. They once had a neighbouring clan, but it scattered when it’s territory was taken over by Twolegs and a strange disease swept through the clan, leaving destruction in it’s wake. Oh, and I apologize in advance for any typos. My cousin and I typed all this up on my ipod, while camping. We used these characters for an LARP(she’s 11, her sister is 8, i still LARPand there was a big plot thing and we had to write a lot on each character, I’m sort if it’s a lot to read.

No trouble. Sorry it's taken so long for me to get to this.

Leader: Gracklestar(black tom. Critical and hard to impress. Has very high expectations for the clan, and has a lot of pride. However, he’s good at seeing the strengths and weaknesses in cats, and will never turn down an eager kittypet or loner wanting to join the clan. Gracklestar is also quite resentful, and holds grudges for a long time, twisting things out of proportion and not forgiving easily. But he’s not one to blame a cat’s family or heritage for their wrongdoings. His warrior name was Gracklestorm. The previous leader was his father.)

I don't particularly feel that -storm is the best suffix for him. He doesn't seem to have many -storm characteristics; if anything, he has more -heart traits than -storm traits. Might want to reconsider this. Named after the Common Grackle, I assume? Deputy: Emberheart (tortoiseshell she cat. Willing to do anything to defend the warrior code and her clan. Dedicated and hardworking. She was a very popular choice for deputy.)

Good name. She really does seem like a good choice for deputy.

Medicine cat: Dandelionleaf(Dark ginger tabby she cat. She’s a very talented medicine cat, amazing with herbs. She trained as a warrior first, because they had two medicine cats at the time. But when the other medicine apprentice, Dapplepaw, passed away from greencough, Rowanleaf (Rowanpaw at the time) asked if she could be the medicine apprentice. She was hated at first, many thought she was “replacing" Dapplepaw. Dapplepaw’s mother, Tinystorm, never forgave Rowanleaf. Rowanleaf is generally good tempered, but had a tendency to be cynical. She’s also very to the point, and isn’t one to mess around.)

If she was a warrior first, how does she have the suffix -leaf? If she completed her apprenticeship as a warrior, she should have a warrior suffix. This isn't making sense to me. As well as that, I really wouldn't say dandelion- is appropriate for a dark ginger tabby. I think you mean "Rowanleaf"? Rowan- is fine for a dark ginger tabby.

Edit: it seems my reading comprehension was a little off on this one, ehehehe. So she was an ordinary apprentice, who switched to being a medicine cat apprentice before she became a warrior. That's fine.

Eaglepaw(brown and white tom. Laid back and kind. His optimistic and generally happy personality counteracts Rowanleaf’s. Eaglepaw is nice, but not really all that smart. He’s also very clumsy and tends to trip over his own feet a lot.)

If he's not smart, and isn't very competent, apparently, why is he the medicine cat apprentice? That doesn't seem like a very good idea.

Warriors: Heronstream(dappled grey-blue she cat. Good swimmer. Enjoys being in the water, and has an extensive knowledge of the kinds of fish in the lake. Known for her preference of she cats over toms. When she took a female mate, Raggedfur, many of the cats in Lakeclan disapproved. But Heronstream didn’t care, she loved Raggedfur and Raggedfur loved her. She felt that nothing would get between them. Heronstream is very intelligent, and very stubborn. She’ll do what she thinks is right no matter what, even if it’s not socially acceptable.)

Good name. While she has -heart characteristics, you chose well giving her a skill suffix.

Dustwhisker(brownish-grey she cat. She’s exceedingly patient, which makes her a very good hunter. Dustwhisker is also very small. She’s good with younger cats, so she’s a very popular choice for mentoring apprentices, especially the more… Difficult ones. She has no desire whatsoever for a mate.)

Good name. 

Lilyheart(White tom with bright yellow eyes. His devotion to the warrior code and passion for his clan earned him the -heart suffix. Lilyheart is kind of rude. And very loud. He doesn’t have many friends, and prefers to devote his time to his clan instead of other cats.).

Good name, very appropriate.

Lionclaw(Golden tom. He’s built like a tank, with broad shoulders and lots of muscles. He’s quite the good fighter, and has a energetic personality. Though despite his looks and obvious fighting skill, he’s quite immature and barely passed his assessment.)

Good name. -claw would be an obvious choice for such a strong cat.

Snakeface(Lionclaw’s brother. golden smoke tabby tom, handsome. He’s seen as generally fun to be around, but he’s not really the best at hunting or fighting. However, he is good at looking pretty and being the “cheerleader" of the clan, though.)

Nice name.

Vultureclaw(Brown tabby and white she cat. Her face is kind of squished, as she has Persian ancestry, and is considered kind of ugly. Vultureclaw is very good about it, though, and holds no grudge. She’s an accomplished warrior, any cat would be a fool to pick a fight with her. She has large paws. She’s very close friends with Gravelfoot, and is known for trying to shred any cat who takes advantage of him, i.e Gingerflower and Raspberrynose. Mentor to Dovepaw.)

She seems like a cool cat. I'll assume her prefix is appropriate; her suffix definitely is.

Gingerflower(ginger tabby she cat. Loud and obnoxious, arrogant too. But she has a soft spot for kits. Her and her mate, Lionclaw, have had one litter already. She fusses over them and has a “my kits are better then yours" attitude. But she’s still a pretty good mother, and would defend any kits with her life. She earned her suffix when her mother, Tinystorm, fell ill after kitting. Gingerflower(gingerpaw at the time) looked after the kits as well as she could, playing and taking care of them every spare minute she got, showing a more compassionate side.)

Nice name, and she seems like an interesting character too.

Raspberrynose(dappled ginger tabby she cat. Best tracker in the clan. She’s outspoken and kind of a rebel. She’s very stubborn. She often quarrels with her sister Gingerflower, them both being very headstrong. Raspberrynose is aggressive, yet very loyal to her clan.)

Nice prefix. Good name.

Gravelfoot(grey tabby tom. Swift, good runner. He’s timid, and a bit of a coward. He once trained as a medicine cat, but the very though of being responsible for the health of the clan terrified him and he begged to be made a warrior apprentice. He despises both Gingerflower and Raspberrynose, but he would never tell them that. The two sisters like to boss Gravelfoot around. He likes Vultureclaw. A lot.)

I'm not so sure about gravel-, but I think it could be all right. I'll give you the benefit of the doubt with this one. Good suffix.

Timbertail(light brown tabby tom. Quick on his feet. A good fighter, he uses his agility to his advantage in a fight. Timbertail has a very “flighty" personality, never staying long with one cat, he’s had 2 mates already, Raspberrynose and Lichenfoot. Both of those relationships ended quickly. He’s also a bit of a pervert.)

Timber- isn't a good idea, because timber can come in all kinds of colours or patterns depending on the tree it's from. You'd be better picking a specific tree, I think. Also, if his agility makes him a good fighter, then he should really have the -claw suffix. While I understand that he's agile, if he uses that for fighting well, that's what he should be recognised for.

Icefang(White tom. Cooperative, easygoing. He’s pretty good at both hunting and fighting, which got him his suffix. He’s a bit of a glutton, and is notorious for eating more then he should.)

Good name.

Fogfur(Icefang’s sister. She’s cruel, clever, and manipulative. Very pretty, though. Fogfur has never had an apprentice, but desperately wants one. Her and Lichenfoot are mortal enemies. She has very few friends. Most cats are kind of scared of her, as she’s odd and throws frequent temper tantrums. She has a “hair trigger" and seemingly feels no remorse at times. She’s an extremely convincing liar, though, and most cats who aren’t in her clan think she’s completely normal.)

If she's very pretty, she should definitely have the -face suffix. Sounds like a very interesting character.

Raggedfur(black and white she cat. Raggedfur has a weird disorder that caused her to be born with bald patches that never went away, making the frigid Canadian winters especially hard on her. She’s nervous and defensive, and since she was mocked and ridiculed as an apprentice she still has a very low self esteem and can be very self deprecating. Also known for her preference of she cats over toms. Heronstream is her mate, which was very controversial. Raggedfur can be very kind once you get to know her. She loves kits and is very good with them. Raggedfur will play with any kits, and has a very strong maternal instinct. Since her and Raggedfur can’t have kits together, she jumped at the chance to foster Dovekit. Oh, and yes, I was the Raggedfur/Blueflower ruddles)

Good use of a name-change name. Poor thing.

Frogfang(spotted golden tabby. Large. Former kittypet. (She’s a f3 savannah cat) But she’s an amazing hunter and fighter. She loves water, and is an asset to the clan. Frogfang’s skills have gotten to her head, and she struts around like she owns the place. Mentor to Shellpaw.)

Good name, and I can see why the clan would take her in. Seems reasonable to me.

Clamtail(black and white tom. He’s very agile, and stealthy. Clamtail is serious, and isn’t easily amused. He’s a tough mentor, and very strict. He’s very loyal to his clan. Clamtail is uptight, and a very obsessive believer in StarClan. He’s not afraid to claw any cat who challenges starclan’s existence. Mentor to Sprucepaw.)

I'll trust that this prefix is possible and applicable for this cat. Good suffix, and an interesting character. He'd definitely be a -heart if it wasn't for his skills.

Lichenfoot(White she cat. Fast runner. She’s an expert at manoeuvring through the forest, and almost never trips. She’s rather pessimistic, and sarcastic. Many cats find her funny, though. As apprentices, she was “best buddies" with Fogfur. It didn’t last long, though. Fogfur used her as a scapegoat, and always blamed Lichenfoot for things that Fogfur did. Lichenfoot hates Fogfur with a passion, to this day.)

As long as the lichen in the clan's territory is the white variety, this should be okay. Good name.

Morningheart(diluted tortoiseshell she cat. Would do anything to defend her clan. She’s a rather aggressive cat, and prefers to solve problems with claws, not words. But Morningheart is loyal, and serves her clan with a passion shared by no other cat.)

Good name.

Squirrelstorm(very dark grey tom. Judgemental. Hates young cats and has little to no tolerance for apprentices and kits. He likes to think of himself as mature and intelligent. He does have redeeming qualities, though. Squirrelclaw follows the warrior code and would never break it, and he’s logical and good in battle.)

Squirrelclaw or Squirrelstorm? He doesn't seem like a -storm to me; he sounds more like a -claw.

Sumacstripe(dark reddish brown tabby tom. Was very sickly as a kit, became a warrior late. Gingerflower and Raspberrynose are his older sisters. Sumacstripe is pretty laid back, andlikes to help other cats. He’s pretty good friends with Icefang. Sumacstripe is loyal, but sometimes he feels that the warrior code is a bit…Restraining. He’s had more then one relationship with a cat who’s not in a clan, and doesn’t get why he can’t take food from Twolegs. He’s pretty good at hiding it, though. Not many cats suspect it.)

Great name; sumac- is a cool prefix.

Mallowcloud(cream tabby she cat. Laid back and calm, hates fighting. Very caring. Tends to fuss and worry a lot. She’s fallen in love with Squirrelstorm, but he’s as oblivious as he could be.)

Good name. 

Apprentices: Dovepaw(former kittypet. Beautiful silver smoke tabby. Dovepaw is jumpy, and very curious. She doesn’t really know when to stop asking questions, and often doesn’t seem to know the meaning of the word “no". She’s impatient and energetic. Her mentor is Vultureclaw)

As long as the doves in the clan's area suit a silver smoke tabby, the prefix works. She sounds like a handful, ehehe.

Sprucepaw(ginger tabby tom. Dovepaw’s best friend, and the cleaner of the two. He doesn’t like adventure, and likes to hunt more then fight. He likes peace. He’s the son of Gingerflower, but is the exact opposite of his mother. he’s humble, and sometimes even self deprecating. His mentor is Clamtail. )

I'm not so sure about spruce- for a ginger cat. I'm guessing the bark looks reddish?

Shellpaw(light ginger and white she cat. Vain and stuck up, acts she’s better then other cats. The other apprentices find her intolerable. Shellpaw’s narcissism is actually just a cover up for her own low self esteem, though. She’s a mother’s girl, and Gingerflower likes to fuss over her. Shellpaw is fast runner, and very agile and quick on her paws. Her mentor is Frogfang)

Good name. To be Shellfoot, or Shelltail?

Queens: Stripefur(brown tabby she cat. She’s very pretty, and many toms wanted to be her mate. She chose Icefang, though. Stripefur is pretty cool with most things, she’s very accepting. Her best friend is Raggedfur. She’s very agile. Her kits are called Bramblekit, Duckkit, and Frostkit.)

No, definitely not stripe- as a suffix. Lots of cats are tabbies; you need to point out her colour as well if you want to indicate her markings like this. Pick something that represents a brown tabby, and give her the suffix -tail. She deserves it.

Bramblekit(brown tabby she cat. Forgetful and clumsy. A very good looking kit, many cats have said that she’ll grow up to be beautiful.)

Good name.

Duckkit(brown and white tom. Brave and curious. Always trying to hunt, his favourite game is catch-the-moth.)

That is very cute. Good name.

Frostkit(white she cat. Has a major crush on Sprucepaw, she’ll run around saying things like “Sprucepaw is going to be my mate! I love him!". Sprucepaw is good with her, but generally finds her annoying and doesn’t return the white she cat’s crush. Frostkit is playful and loud. She seemingly lacks that “brain-mouth filter".)

Good name. Poor Sprucepaw. 

Elders: Halfleg(black tom. He was in an accident with a fisher, and he lost half of his right front leg. Halfleg almost died that day, and he was nervous and jumpy for the next little while. But he recovered and served his clan for as long as possible. He’s happily retired, now, and enjoys giving advice to apprentices and kits. He also loves to tell stories. He’s Gracklestar’s older brother.)

Ouch. I advise switching -leg to -foot, though. It more or less has the exact same meaning, but -foot is more acceptable.

Deerpelt(reddish brown tabby she cat. Your stereotypical crotchety elder. She’s defensive, and seems to take everything as an insult. She feels like she’s a burden, because she can “no longer do anything to serve the clan".)

Good name. Poor old Deerpelt.

Tinystorm(small ginger she cat. Deerstream’s best friend, and the mother of Gingerflower and Raspberrynose. She’s pretty headstrong, like her daughters. Tinystorm is temperamental, and most cats steer clear of her. But she was a loyal and brave cat, back in her day.)

Deerstream? Do you mean Deerpelt? Tinystorm is a suitable name for her.