Me: (Staring off into space) Well I went to McDonald’s last night to get a double cheeseburger and when I asked to get it plain the guy taking my order asked what I meant by “plain.” So I told him that I wanted it with just meat and cheese. He then proceeded to list off all the things I didn’t want on the burger. I checked the order and confirmed that that was what I wanted. He was nice so I  was polite about it. It wasn’t till I got home and went to eat the burger that I noticed that it had literally everything on it. Plus it had mayonnaise and a tomato on it which I didn’t know came on a double cheeseburger. So that represents my life pretty well, a bunch of shit I didn’t even want and a few extra things that just don’t make much sense.

Random confused Person: Uh okay...

I hate onions. Well, I love onion rings. That's not the weirdest part though. I can eat the batter part of the onion ring, to which you're thinking "that's normal considering you just said you hate onions" but then I eat the onion part too. Why? How does that make sense? If I saw onions on pizza? Away with them. If I found onions in my soup? To the side. Not onion rings. I make no sense.