#hasstenkind

i do miss you

but i don't miss the way our friendship would turn

you were my best friend for nearly nine years, and we always fought

always argued

always got pissed at each other

but you know what

i still loved the shit out of her because she was practically my sister

but she's moved on and is having a much better life

she has a job

she's paying for her own things

and i couldn't be more proud of where she's gotten herself

i honestly doubted she would get employed

but there she is

working at mcdonald's

it may be a shitty job, but god damn

you go girl

you're proving everyone wrong and getting somewhere

i really hope that one day we can catch up and at least be on some sort of common ground

but i'll be patient

and i'm sorry for treating you so awfully

you have no idea how much it haunts me that i did all of that to you

but the reason i pushed you away so quickly was so that you wouldn't be sad when i died when trying to kill myself

so it would be easier for you to cope

because it's easier to hate someone than to get over a death