#harry reader insert

Harry had been a bit hesitant to schedule any shows for when you made it to your 6 month of pregnancy. However, you assured him that you wouldn't even start your maternity leave until the 7 month mark because you wanted more time after the baby was born; you didn't want to feel rushed to say goodbye to her. You had a desk job, so you weren't doing anything strenuous and your job also wasn't all that stressful. So during a break in his tour he came home and after a few checks ups where Harry asked a bajillion questions, your doctor assured him that everything was perfectly normal and looking really great.

It's not that Harry didn't want to tour, he actually really did because after your baby came he intended to take at least a year or two to just be there with you both. But he also didn't want to be away from you just in case you needed him during this time. But you reminded him that your mom would be coming in from LA to help out soon and well, his mom was constantly around, doting on you, and other friends of yours and Harry's in town, so you had many people around who would surely lend a hand if you ever needed it. So with that information, plus your doctor's confirmation he gave Jeffrey the green light to add one more month of shows to his tour. After all, it would be the last one for a bit.

He was having a blast, he was making the most of these last few shows because he knew he'd miss it a lot down the line. And right now he was in the huddle with the band, pep talking them all right before they got on stage. They were just about to do their chant when he heard someone call his name loudly.

"Harry!" he turned around to see Brad running over with his phone to his ear looking absolutely panicked and scared and worried all mixed into one. He'd never seen him looking that scared and it made him start to worry. As soon as he was closer to the huddle he lowered his voice, "H, Y/N's been in a serious car accident. It's not good." He said and his stomach immediately sank. Everyone's cheerful and excited expressions shifted into those of concern and sadness, "Your mum just called Jeff, she just got to the hospital, they won't give her any details." he said as he said whatever Jeffrey was telling him on the line.

Harry was frozen though, he wasn't sure what to do. He just knew he needed to get there as soon as possible. People always overthink and ponder about bizarre or worst case scenarios to maybe know how to handle them when they arise, but this is not something that Harry would have ever even considered. He was in shock, he had no control, he had no idea what was going on. He couldn't even cry. His ears were just ringing as he heard the crowd cheering and roaring maniacally as the screens darkened, indicating he was about to go on.

"The show." he finally said flatly as he swallowed the lump in his throat, "I can't do the show."

"Yeah, Tommy's already taking care of that." Brad assured him, "Let's just get your things, we're trying to get you there as soon as possible. Jeff is on the other line with Kris. I guess Kim is in town for work, she flew on her jet." he said and Harry nodded, "C'mon". Brad said and guided Harry back to his dressing room. The band rushed after them and followed Harry to his dressing room. He needed to get changed out of his crazy costume... he was trying to get his shoes off, but his shaking hands were making the simple task almost impossible.

"H, I've got it." Mitch said to him softly as he stooped down and Harry nodded. Once his shoes were off he hurried to get changed into his casual clothes. The rest of the band started gathering his things, getting them into his duffle bag so that he could head out as soon he was done changing. They all frowned when they heard him start to vomit in the bathroom but it was understandable, there are just somethings in life that cause a visceral reaction.

Harry just couldn't believe that this was rally happening. He felt like he was outside of his body in a way, just disconnected. But all that came crashing when he realized that no one had any idea of your condition. No one knew if your baby girl was alright...or maybe they wouldn't tell his mom anything because neither of you had made it...the thought of that just made him feel sick to his stomach. He dropped to his knees and just started to hurl up everything in his stomach. He was coughing through his tears and he exhaled shakily as he wiped off his mouth. He then flushed the toilet and rinsed out his mouth before he finished changing.

"Here, H." Sarah said handing over his toothbrush when he opened the door.

"Thank you." he mumbled as he took it and quickly brushed his teeth.

"Yes! We got the jet!" Brad said to everyone as soon as Kim confirmed to Jeffrey that her flight crew was heading to the airfield as they spoke. Everyone sighed in relief at this news, "She told Jeff that they can get you there in 2 hours." he told Harry and he nodded. He wished he could teleport, but 2 hours was better than nearly three hours of flight, not counting the entire process he'd have to go through at the airport. He'd make it there after midnight if that were the case, so the fact that she was in town and was just letting him take her jet was a heaven ordained miracle, and he hoped it wouldn't be the last of the night. Not even ten minutes later they were off to the airfield.

True to her word, Kim's crew was ready to go as soon as his car pulled up. He and Brad hurried out and they had taken off not even five minutes later.

********

Back at the hospital Anne was in a complete panic because no one was telling her anything. No one was giving her any information or just brushing her off. She knew that you were on your way to get your mother from the airport, so she sent Michal and Gemma to go get her and bring her over.

She was more than relieved when Jeffrey called her to let her know that Harry had been able to borrow a jet and was in the air now. But as she hung up with Jeffrey she started getting a lot of text messages from friends and family asking if Y/N was alright. One person sent her a video that someone had taken of the paramedics wheeling her into the ambulance. She immediately called Jeffrey back and he got to work on making sure that those videos got taken down. But obviously, the internet spreads information like a wildfire and half an hour later there were even news reports on the television. People started to recognize her and come ask her questions and so eventually the hospital staff just let her stay in a private room while she waited for your mum, Gem, and Michal to arrive.

********

Obviously, Harry saw the videos. He didn't think he'd be riddled with messages about this; people were asking him questions that he didn't even have the answers to. The not knowing was the worst part. There was already news that he had cancelled his show and speculation that the rest of the tour was cancelled, which he hadn't even spoken to anyone about but that was true. Even if it was a good outcome, he didn't want to be apart from you after this.

He was afraid though because in the videos he saw your pants had blood on them and you didn't appear to be fully conscious as you were wheeled away. The accident had been bad; your car had been t-boned on the driver's side, so you surely had taken the impact, which he knew couldn't be good. He didn't want to think anymore, he just wanted to get there and do whatever he could to help.

********

Once your mother got there the hospital staff were far more collaborative as they shared information on your condition. And thankfully Harry had arrived shortly after everyone else. He asked to speak to the doctors straight away before anything else, he needed to know what was going on before he faced anyone else.

"Good evening, Mr. Styles-"

"Just tell me what happened please." he cut the woman off and she nodded.

"For now your wife is stable, we're just closing her up from the c-section. In terms of your daughter, she's in the NICU. Unfortunately we're not too sure if she'll make it on her own yet." she explained to him and Harry just felt his heart tighten up in his chest as his throat bobbed. "The impact caused very serious abdominal trauma to your wife. First responders determined that the placenta was moderately detached from the uterus because of the bleeding she had." she explained, "When we opened her up though it was completely detached." she said and he shook his head.

"OK, but what does that mean for my baby?" he asked, slightly aggravated. He didn't understand why these people just never said what they meant. He understood it could be hard to give people bad news, but beating around the bush was far more harmful in his opinion.

"When the placenta detaches it means the baby has no oxygen or nutrients. And in severe cases like this it's standard to perform an emergency c-section as quickly as possible to ensure that damage to the baby is minimal." she explained to him and his tears started to fall, "Unfortunately, we don't know long it was fully detached for...if it happened upon impact or on the way to the hospital. But this can lead to several complications for the baby, but given that your wife is just shy of 31 weeks the baby still has some growing to do and my biggest concern is brain injury, which can cause a lot of developmental delays. We just won't know until later down the line." she explained and he nodded, "We've got her on some oxygen for now since her lungs are not fully developed yet. But in normal, pre-term birth circumstances babies born between 31 to 34 week have a 95% survival rate, which is very good." she said and he sighed.

"But this is not a normal, pre-term circumstance." he said to her.

"No, but we're doing everything we can. Your baby seems to have developed really well from what I was able to see. These next couple of hours are critical though and if she makes it through the night I’ll be very optimistic about her recovery.”

"Can I see them?" he asked.

"I can certainly arrange for that. You might be able to see the baby first, but she's in the incubator and it'll be a bit frightening to see her hooked up to several things, but that's just what we need to do to keep her stable." she informed and he nodded, "Your wife had to have a blood transfusion, so she's out. And I believe they are also treating to her fractures. She may also be out for a few more hours since she also suffered a concussion."

"Jesus..." he sighed shakily.

"Your wife will pull through though. She's in great health, Mr. Styles." she assured him and he nodded.

"Alright, thank you Dr. Mehta." he said and she nodded, "I'll escort you to the room your relatives have been given and someone will come get you shortly to see your baby." she said.

It was about 15 minutes before a nurse came in to take Harry over to the NICU. He had to get into a full body paper suit, hairnet, mask, and gloves before he could get in. Once that was squared away he was led to the little incubating carriage that had your little girl in it. When Harry saw her he was shocked at just how tiny she was, he swore she'd fit in in his hand, she couldn't be bigger than his forearm. He was happy to see her, but like the doctor had said it was also scary to see her so tiny and defenseless hooked up to all those things. It was hard to know that she was fighting for her life.

“Can I touch her?” He asked the nurse.

“Of course. You just put your arm through the hole there.” She explained and he nodded, “Just mind the tubes and monitoring pads.” She said and he nodded, “I’ll give you a few minutes, I’ll be right out there if you need anything.”

“Thank you.” Harry hummed and then he was left alone. As soon as she was gone he started to cry. You two hadn’t even agreed on her name yet; but he was glad you hadn't because it might be more painful to name her and lose her. It pained him so much to think that she might not make it through the night and that maybe you'd never even get to see her. He hesitated before his gloved hand made contact with her through the hand opening, but he shook off his concern and just touched the top of her tiny hand. He saw the faintest little twitch in her fingers and he chuckled happily at her response as his tears fell even harder, "Hi princess!" he smiled through his tears, "It's me, your dad." he sniffled, "Please, just...just hang on for me, princess. We already love you so much, we can't say goodbye." he cried quietly. He prayed silently to the heavens that his little girl would make it. She had to make it.

********

It was about two hours later that he was told he could go see you. You were still unconscious but at least he got to see that you were alive. Your right shoulder, arm, hip, and leg were in a cast. He was glad that at least your mom was with him so that they could hold each other while they cried. She wanted to stay a while longer so Harry gave her some privacy as he stepped outside of the room. Letting out a sigh of relief that you were alive. A little torn up, but still with him.

It was undoubtedly a sleepless night. He couldn't risk missing anything. It was around 8:30am the next morning when Dr. Mehta came by the waiting room. He hurriedly woke everyone else up as she stepped into the room.

"Good morning, Mr. Styles and family." Dr. Mehta smiled. If she was saying that it meant that it was good news, right?

"Any updates?" he asked and she nodded.

"Your baby is stable. She remained stable all night." she shared happily and every let out a sigh of relief. He felt a weight lifted off of his shoulders, "now this doesn't mean she's out of the NICU, her stay will be a bit longer, I'm afraid, but she is out of immediate danger." she informed him and he nodded, "Your wife should be waking up in the next couple of hours."

"Thank you, thank you so much." he sighed and she nodded.

"I did want to show you something though."

"Of course." he stood and followed after her.

"I was reviewing your wife's chart and I noticed something interesting." she said and he nodded. Harry followed her down the hall and she let him into an empty room with an x-ray projector. She set the file in her hand down and pulled out your x-rays and powered on the projector before she placed them on the screen. "Look at the fractures. They're here on the shoulder, elbow, hip and femur." she said and Harry nodded, "That's why your baby's alive." she said and he turned to her.

"I don't understand." he said.

"I think your wife had enough time to react before she was hit. It looks like she tried to turn her body away was much as possible, which explains the way her shoulder fractured and she probably used her arm and leg to try to shield her stomach so that they took the brunt of the impact."

"That's...so incredible. Thank you for showing this to me." he nodded with tearful eyes and she nodded.

"Of course. My shift is over, but I'll be back again tonight. Your nurses from last night are still on shift."

"Thank you." he said before he headed back to the waiting room and shared with his family what the doctor had told him. He was so proud of you and he couldn't wait to tell you.

When you woke up a few hours later he immediately went over to see you. It all tears for the first few minutes before you asked about your baby. He squeezed your hand gently and sniffled.

"She's alright. I get to see her again later." he explained and you nodded in relief, "She's just a tiny little thing, this big, I swear." he smiled through his tears as he demonstrated her length to you with his hands, "Your doctor said you saved her life. S'why you're all broken, baby." he said and you smiled at him as you cleared your throat to speak.

"I just wanted to protect her as much as I could." you sniffled and he nodded.

"You did, my love. She's here because of you." he sobbed and kissed your forehead and you felt a weight lifted off of your shoulders, "I told you adding more shows was a bad idea..." he said and you chuckled before you winced, "Oh, I'm sorry, not making you laugh's gonna be hard."

"It might be if you were actually funny, baby." you croaked out and he pouted playfully as you smiled at him. "What're we gonna name our baby? We haven't even discussed it properly."

"S'cause we knew it'll get us in a tiff. But considering you're handicapped and all, I supposed your opinion bears more weight." he said and you chuckled again and he grinned, "And you said I'm not that funny..." he hummed as he ran his thumb over your knuckles.

"I'm concussed." you reminded and he chuckled and shook his head.

"Well, I told her that she was so loved...and well, she's our little love. So I think I want to call her Love." he said and you smiled.

"Love Styles sounds like a cheap lingerie brand." you wheezed as you tried to adjusted yourself a bit and he burst our laughing before reaching up and fluffing your pillow up a bit.

"Yeah...that's...definitely not what I'm going for." he smiled and you smiled back.

"We don't have to decide yet." you said and he nodded.

"I'm just so happy that you're still here with me." he said softly and you sniffled and nodded.

"Me too."

********

It had been a few days and Harry just needed to get home and get showered and changed. It felt good to be home and when he walked past the nursery he smiled, he couldn't wait to have you and your baby home. When Harry got into your shared bedroom he haphazardly dumped his bag out on the bed in search of his toothbrush before heading in for a shower. He took his time under the hot and soothing water. After he stepped out and dried off a bit he just dropped onto your bed and before he knew he passed out. He had maybe slept six hours in the the last 2 days.

"Harry." he heard faintly, "Hang on, he's passed out." he heard as he gained consciousness and slowly blinked his eyes open to see Brad hovering over him and he immediately sat up.

"Is everything OK?"

"Yeah, mate. Y/N wanted to ask you something." he said and he grabbed Brad's phone.

"I've been calling you." you said and he sighed.

"Sorry baby, phone's dead. What is it?" he asked groggily.

"Let's name her Violet." You said and Harry smiled.

"I like that a lot." he said with a grin.

"Yeah?" You asked.

"Yeah, it's perfect." he agreed.

"OK. That's all. Get some rest."

"I'll be back soon though, OK? I love you." he said and you nodded.

"I love you." you hummed back and he blew a kiss at the screen before you hung up.

"Love Styles? Really?" Brad asked him and he scoffed.

"Oh, shut up..." Harry huffed before draping his arm over his eyes.

You had no idea what to do. You felt completely betrayed and shocked and hurt at what was going on. Both Harry and Nat had tried to talk to you before Nat just told Harry to go home and that’ she’d try again. But understandably so, you didn’t want anything to do to her.

*****

“How could you do that!?” Mandy scolded Natalie as she explained to her what was going on.

“Ugh, just hear me out!” She explained and Mandy sat and tried to keep her anger towards Nat in check, “Harry and I…know each other from before.” She explained and Mandy looked at her like she was crazy.

“What?!”

“Yeah…we met on a dating app while I did my year abroad in Italy. He was there on a long holiday and we matched and met up. He was so hot and nice and fun and we went out and he showed me the time of my life!” She explained, “We literally spent almost every day together for the 3 weeks that he was there. And like, we kept in touch for a bit after but stopped talking when he said he started to see someone else. I was heartbroken, but like we were just hooking up you know? So I got over it eventually.” She explained and Mandy frowned, “I even have pictures to prove it!” She said and Mandy shook her head.

“No, it’s alright. I believe you.” She said and Nat sighed.

“Like, it had just been so great, like a whirlwind romance and even though my feelings for him were gone I could never forget him! Like it was just such a wild and fun thing. When Y/N told us she wanted us to meet a childhood friend of hers and then he turned up I was stunned! It’s been two years since that happened, but like I said, I could never forget him! He messaged me after to see how I had been and we just chatted back and forth through the next day and that was all! I didn’t think to bring it up or anything because he wasn’t flirting or asking me out or anything, just legitimately catching up and I didn’t know that he’d be around so often. Then a few weeks later he finally asked me out and I said no, because Y/N had just told us about him kissing her the week before and how she had a crush on him!” She explained, “And I confronted him about the kiss and he said that he just did it without thinking about it, but I told him that was BS, but he said it was pointless anyway because her brother would be pissed and he didn’t want to ruin a friendship with Y/N or her brother so he was just gonna leave it alone.” She said through her tears and Mandy sighed.

“Why didn’t you just tell her that you guys knew each other? Or that you liked him too?”

“Let me clarify that I’m into him, but it’s not that deep. Like I wanted to talk to her as soon as he asked me out, but he said he would do it. Harry said he needed to talk to her about the kiss too and I just…figured he’d do it soon! I thought he had because there were a few days a couple weeks ago when I felt like she was avoiding me a bit and you know how she is when she gets upset, she just needs space to get over it. And maybe I just imagined that she was being odd with me because I just felt guilty about him asking me out or something? I wouldn’t have been seeing him the last few weeks if I knew he hadn’t talked to her about it yet! I just found out the day before your party that he still hadn’t talked to her and so I told him that if he didn’t do it in the next few days it was done.” She explained and Mandy sighed. “I feel awful about it, Mandy! Like I know I should’ve been more on top of it, but I just was so nervous about it. I’ve never been in a situation like this before!” She groaned with tearful eyes as she shook her head.

“What a mess…” Mandy said and Natalie nodded.

“I know, I know…and I’m not exactly sure what Harry said to her, but I swear, we barely hooked up last night! We’ve just been going out to dinner or just walking around the park and we went out to the midnight garden thing once with some of my friends! Like it hasn’t been like a weekly thing or anything like that because I was just really wary of doing too much, you know? But last night we were both a little drunk and he said he had told her so I just…” she sighed and shook her head. “She’s never going to forgive me.” Natalie frowned sadly.

“You know, Y/N isn’t that kind of person, Nat.”

“I know, but this is vastly different, Mandy! Like this looks so bad!” She sniffled, “I told him it wasn’t going to work.” She said sadly and Mandy frowned, “It’s too messy, like you said.” 

“OK, but you actually have a romantic history with him…she’ll understand.”

“She’s in love with him…it’s not just a crush and I think…he likes her a lot more than he lets on. I think I was just a distraction for him.” She said, “Like he’d always bring her up in some way and like…I feel stupid for not realizing it sooner.”

“Fuck…I’m sorry, Nat.”

“I feel like I deserve it.” She said and Mandy sighed, “I guess I’m just as naive as I was when I first met Harry.” She concluded.

“Or maybe he just knows how to play you.” Mandy said and Natalie sighed.

“Whatever, it’s over though. I would much rather try and earn back Y/N’s trust and friendship than to have some guy.” She said.

“Well that makes me feel like your priorities are in check.” Mandy said and Natalie chuckled, “Or was the sex that bad?”

“No…it’s…so fucking far from bad…” she said with a slight chuckle and Mandy winced.

“Well, I’m sorry you’re saying goodbye.” Natalie shook her head.

“I’m not. Like I said, as much as I’m into him, this friendship matters more.” She said with certainty.

*******

“Hey, how are you feeling?” Mandy asked you as she came into your bedroom.

“Like shit.” You huffed as you sat up. Your eyes were so swollen and your chest felt heavy, “Harry keeps texting, saying this is all his fault…”

“Well, I talked to Nat and it kind of is in like a technical form but…like obviously, she knows she did wrong in this, but things are not as deep as they may have seemed between them.” She said and you sighed.

“Really?”

“Yeah.” Mandy assured, “Do you love him?” She asked carefully and your eyes welled up.

“Yes…fuck!” You groaned and Mandy sighed.

“It’s alright…I think he might also be a bit confused about his feelings based on what Nat said. And like…I know you like to work through things on your own when you’re upset, but she really wants to apologize and explain this to you.” Mandy said and you sighed.

“I’m just not ready to talk to her about this. I’m more upset at him though for…making me feel like he was interested in me.”

“Well maybe he is and he just…got scared and changed course.” Mandy said and you sighed. You didn’t want to have any hope, not now. As you thought about last night’s events you recalled that he had tried to talk to you about more than just him seeing someone and you had cut him off because you were ashamed. Maybe that’s what he had tried to tell you, that he liked Nat. 

“But like, why wouldn’t Nat tell me she likes him too?” You asked and Mandy sighed.

“You need to talk to her about that.” Mandy said, you groaned as you fell back onto your mattress and she sighed.

“I feel stupid for being upset because it’s not like we have anything more than a friendship, you know? Like…I never made a move on him or anything, until yesterday when he shot me down and I…locked myself in here like an idiot.” You said.

“Rejection is hard, bub. That’s understandable. And if it makes you feel a bit better they were not all over each other at the party or anything like that. She knows you prefer space so she’s getting out of here for a few days.” Mandy shared.

“Oh, who’s taking her in? Harry?” You asked with a scoff and Mandy rolled her lips together for a second and she shook her head.

“Ummm, when he was leaving she told him things between them weren’t going to work out. So no, not Harry. Maybe someone from her program.” She shared and you frowned. Sure, your feelings were hurt, but if she liked him and he liked her it made you feel bad that she ended things with him just because of you.

“Wait, because of me?”

“Well yeah…the way you reacted kind of made her realize that you don’t just have a crush on him like you had told us…and she said that she’d rather work on fixing your relationship than making things work with him.”

“Mandy…” you sighed sadly, now feeling bad for this and she sighed.

“Look, the three of us have never had any issues. You can be mad at her and hurt for this, but at the end of the day we’ve all been the best of friends this whole time, you know? And she’s willing to sacrifice that for you and I, because we’re more important than a guy to her. And I’m not siding with her, but what I’m saying is that in order to get to the bottom of this you’ll also need to take a step, you know? Like she’s taken hers and done what she can to correct this and to give you time and space, so ball’s in your court.” Mandy said and you nodded. “I’m gonna go get some dinner, want anything?”

“Depends.”

“I’m getting Chinese takeaway.”

“Then no. You realize Chinese food here is a joke, right?”

“I can’t decide that until I’ve gone to America.” She reminded and you smiled, “Be back later, OK?” She said and you nodded.

You laid in bed for a bit longer as you thought about what Mandy had said. Natalie had never done anything sketchy or mean-spirited in anyway to you or Mandy in the past. She had always been so supportive and helpful and such a good friend. People made mistakes…and you wished she had just been more open from the start, but that was also kind of unfair of you to ask for because you were never open. You were never willing to talk about difficult things, you just liked to figure things out on your own, last night was the evidence. Harry tried to confront a difficult situation with you and you ran away. How could you expect someone to just talk about challenging things with you when you weren’t open to having challenging conversations? Yes, she hadn’t dealt with this in the best way but she had never done anything to make you question her friendship before. And you did want to know what was going on with her and Harry… you picked up your phone and texted Harry that you needed some space and he just said to take your time and that was that.

********

It had been three days and you had texted Natalie that she could come home. Your negative feelings had mostly faded, all that was left now were questions. Questions about what was going on and how anything between them had even unfolded.

“Hey.” She said as she came in with her bag to find you on the couch waiting for her arrival. Mandy had stepped out to give you guys some space to discuss, but you wished she had stayed, tough conversations were definitely not your strong suit - communication in general was not something you were great at.

“Hi.” You responded and she frowned right away.

“I’m really, really sorry, Y/N! I know I fucked up, but I swear, we weren’t fooling around this whole time behind your back! We just hung out a couple of times.” She said and you sighed.

“OK, but like how did this even happen?” You asked and she sighed as she sat across from you.

“We had a fling 2 years ago during my year abroad.” She explained and your eyes widened in surprise and now you felt even more stupid. That was before you even knew Natalie and plenty of time after you’d seen Harry last.

“What?!” You asked.

“Yeah, he was on holiday in Rome and I was studying there and we met on a dating app and just…met up and yeah. Like obviously, it wasn’t anything serious, he was just there in passing for a few weeks.” She explained, “And when I saw him again with you it was just surprising. And he didn’t ask me out until after he had kissed you and I said no! I swear I did, because he had just kissed you like a week before! Then he said he needed to be the one to talk to you about it and I stupidly believed he would do it right away.” Natalie shook her head and you frowned, “I just…let him handle it against my better judgement. I didn’t know he would be so nervous or take so long to talk to you about this. I’m sorry you had to find you the way you did, but that was the first time anything physical happened between us! Well like, this time around. He had said he talked to you and we were a bit drunk and one thing led to another.” She explained and you nodded in understanding.

“Mandy told me you ended it.”

“I did.” She confirmed.

“Why? He likes you, you like him-”

“Because our friendship matters more to me than whatever fling I’d have with Harry.”  

“But he wants you…”

“I don’t know about that…I do like Harry, but it’s more of a physical thing for us. Like we don’t have all that much in common otherwise. We’re attracted to each other, that’s all.” She explained, “But we’re friends! We do have a legitimate history and relationship. Like you also have with him. I think he wanted to be the one to tell you because you mean a lot to him. Like…he didn’t kiss you just because. Or at least I don’t think he did.” You sighed and shook your head.

“This is crazy, Nat…”

“I know. And again, I’m so sorry and I’m more than willing to be patient as we try and get back on track because I definitely should’ve done better. Well, if you still want to be friends.” She said and you nodded.

“Of course I do, Nat.” You sighed and she sighed in relief.

“Really?”

“Yeah. Like yeah, Harry means a lot to me, but like, you do too. It’s crazy you knew him before.” You chuckled and Nat nodded.

“Oh, I know. It’s a small world…I wanted to run away when I realized it was him but like, I knew it was important to you for us to meet and like…I promise you it wasn’t anything flirtatious or with other intentions when we first talked. It was just a catch up.” She said with a sigh and you nodded. “I should’ve said something. I’m so sorry for not saying something right away. I just…I don’t know, like it’s the past and when it ended I had been really sad over him. So I just…didn’t want to relive it when I knew that we weren’t like serious couple material. I would rather just interact with him as your friend than an ex-fling, you know?” She said and you nodded in understanding.“Confronting things is really hard for me too sometimes.” She admitted.

“It can be for everyone.” You assured.

“I just umm…I get it if you still need some time to get past all the feelings.” She said and you nodded.

“Thank you. And please move back in…I’m not like angry at you. I think I just…need to talk to Harry about it all.”

“Thank you. And yeah…I don’t know how he’s been either. How’s he been at work?”

“Just… glancing at me, hoping each day that passes is the day we’ll talk…” you mumbled.

“Well…I mean…how do you feel about him?”

“I…like him…a lot.” You confessed and Nat smiled, “I umm…I kissed him the other day when he was trying to talk to me. He ummm…he kissed me back for a second there.” You confessed and glanced up to Nat, she didn’t seem upset or phased by this information, “And then he stopped and told me that he was seeing someone. That’s all he said. He definitely didn’t say it was you. I mean…he probably tried to but I locked myself in my room, dying of shame…” you grumbled.

“I think he likes you a lot too…he’s just worried that it’ll make things weird between you two and your brother. He would always bring you up when he could…” Natalie said with a small smile and you shook your head.

“It doesn’t really matter though…I mean at the end of the school year I’m going back to America and he’ll be here so…it’s not worth getting hurt over, you know?”

“Oh, that’s right.” Natalie frowned.

“I forgot you don’t live here.” She said and you chuckled.

“Me too…but I mean, it could all just pass me by, you know? Like he’s just been someone I’ve had a crush on my whole life. I think I always will have a crush on him, like he’s that guy for me. But ummm…yeah I never even considered that I would actually get to be with him. So maybe that’s why when he kissed me I just…let my imagination run wild.” You scoffed.

“It wasn’t a kiss! It was a steamy snog-a-thon! And you don’t snog people you’re not into unless your absolutely plastered so…I don’t know, maybe you guys could make the most of your time here?”

“I don’t know, Nat… especially after this with you guys…like a part of him has to like you at least a little bit.”

“Sure. But the part that likes you is greater, or at least I think so, so it’s fine by me.” She assured and you pouted.

“After I had nearly a week long fit over you sleeping with a guy who’s not even mine to claim.” You groaned into your hands and she sniggered.

“He’s not mine to claim either. And well, given the optics of the situation it did look really bad. Not gonna lie…” she admitted, “But again, it’s not that deep for me. At least not anymore. Ask me two years ago and I would’ve probably dueled you for him.” She said with a smile and you cackled as she sat beside you and hugged you, “I’m kidding. I love you and I’m so sorry.”

“I forgive you.” You responded with a small smile as you relaxed into her hug.

“Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.” She hummed and you could feel her relief emanating off of her, “When are you gonna talk to Harry?” She asked and you shrugged.

“I’m just not ready for that.” You explained and she nodded in understanding.

**********

It had been three whole weeks and you still hadn’t even hinted at Harry that you’d have a conversation. And as time dragged on he had slowly but surely given up hope. He knew you were avoidant of difficult conversations and situations, but you seemed absolutely fine now which was what really was hurting his feelings. He at least thought that he meant more to you than just whatever had led you to just moving on like he was nothing to you. He thought that he meant at least enough that you’d be interested in hearing him out. He was currently in bed admittedly a bit drunk - a perfect recipe for disaster. And while he knew that you had asked him to leave you alone he just needed to apologize, it was killing him to keep all of this inside.

To Y/N: 

Hey, I’m really sorry for everything that happened with Natalie. I know how it looks but I never meant to lead you on or to get I between you and your best friend. I was just confused and I shouldn’t have done anything impulsive. I’m gonna save the explanation of how it went down because I’m sure she’s shared that with you, but I understand why you don’t want to talk to me anymore. I was an idiot, I know that. And as much as I wish you’d give me the opportunity to do this in person, I get why you don’t want that. I get the message, I’ll stop now. 

*******

It was inching on midnight when you saw Harry’s text and it felt that your heart sank into your stomach. What did he mean he’d stop now? Like stop being your friend? You didn’t even think about it twice when you slipped on a sweater and hurried out of the flat. You knew it was stupid to go hail a cab near midnight but you were really upset by his message and you felt so bad, even while deep down you felt that you had nothing to feel bad for. You gave the cabbie his address and you took off. 

There wasn’t much traffic since it was late so the drive was fairly quick and soon you were paying as the man dropped you off in front of Harry’s building. You made your way inside and to his door and knocked hard several times. It took him a bit to open it up but when you did he looked like he’d been crying and your anger melted away as you started to feel compassion for him creeping into you.

“What’re you doing here?” He asked you, clearly he had been drinking.

“You texted me.”

“Because you’ve been avoiding me like the fucking plague!” He said and you frowned, “I know that tough conversations aren’t something you like but I’ve had to keep this inside for three fucking weeks waiting for you to decide on when you feel up to talking to me. And I get it, we’re done, but I just needed to apologize. I’m sorry, I know you asked me to leave you alone, but it has sucked for me too! And I just…I miss how we were and I get that you’re over it-”

“Harry-”

“But I just needed to tell you that I fucked up. OK? I knew I should’ve talked to you sooner but I was worried that it’d ruin things between you and Natalie and I got nervous so I…just put it off. And well, I also didn’t want to hurt your feelings after we had…” he said and your eyebrows creased.

“Kissed?” You asked and he nodded, “Well you kissed me actually and I just…kissed back.” You clarified.

“Right.” He nodded, “Look, that was…wrong of me.”  He said and you felt your heart sink even deeper. 

“Oh…” you responded softly as you felt a lump forming in your throat.

“Wait, wait, wait that came out wrong!” He said quickly, “I’m a little drunk and I can’t think straight when I…when I’m around you.” He explained, “I know it’s fucked up and so immature but I needed a distraction and Natalie and I have…been together before and we had fun and like, I knew that it wasn’t going to move into serious territory and-”

“You explaining yourself is somehow making it worse…” you said and he groaned.

“I’m impaired OK! Just…give me a sec!” He said and you sighed, “When we reconnected and I saw how you’ve grown…god, that sounds weird…” he said and you sniggered, “Hey-”

“Impaired, I know.” You cut in and he nodded.

“I really quickly realized that I like you. A lot.” He confessed, “And admittedly, I freaked out because I know how your brother would react if he knew that I even looked at you in a way other than just his kid sister. But after everything went down a few weeks ago I realized that you’re an adult, I’m an adult, and we can make our own choices. I’m not a self-serving player like I used to be in university, though my recent behavior might prove otherwise.” He said as he rubbed the back of his neck.

“I like you too, Harry. But…maybe all of this is a sign that anything between us would not be a good idea.” You sighed and he frowned.

“Y/N-”

“Look at us…this is just not possible.” You said.

“Because I was too concerned about what everyone else might think about us but that doesn’t matter, does it? It’s just what I think and what you think about the possibility of us.” He said and you shook your head.

“Well, there’s that but ummm…it’s mostly because I’m graduating in a month and I’m going to be moving back home.” You reminded and he frowned.

“Oh.”

“Yeah.” You said with a small frown, “I think that’s why I’ve been so avoidant of you…because I knew that this conversation was going to suck in more ways than one.” You explained sadly, “Believe me I…have so many feelings for you but ummm…I just don’t think it’ll work out.” More than anything, his disappointment made you feel like shit.

“W-well what if you got a job offer at the firm?” He asked and you scoffed.

“Get real, Harry.” You said and he smiled.

“I am!”

“You’re impaired.” You reminded and he smiled.

“I am! By my feelings for you.” He said with a slight grin and you rolled your eyes playfully, “Look, I know that I’ve been stupid but I’m pretty sure I’m falling for you and I just have this gnawing feeling that I would regret it for the rest of my life if I never tried.” He said to you. You loved him…but how would this even work? It was guaranteed to be more pain than pleasure  for the foreseeable future.

“Harry, the last thing I want is to hurt you and for you to hurt me! I don’t see how we can do this without one or both of us getting hurt.” You explained. “I’m too scared to lose you…” 

“I get it.” He said quietly with a small pout and you licked over your lips.

“But I…might also be falling for you.” You said, “Or…maybe have already…fallen f-for you.” Your voice was a whisper by the end of your sentence and he was smiling at you.

“Well I may have also already fall for you if we’re being honest.” He responded and you smiled at him with hopeful eyes. “I’m so fucking drunk…there’s no way I would’ve been able to say that to you with such ease if I was even a tiny bit sober.” He confessed and you giggled and shook your head.

“Should we get you to bed?” You asked and he nodded.

“Please.” He sighed and you smiled and pushed him inside. 

Thankfully he was already in loungewear so you just guided him through his bedtime routine and made him drink a glass of water before he got into bed.

“You gonna get in with me?” He asked and you bit your lip.

“No funny business though.” You said quietly.

“Yeah, I pinky swear.” He said extending his hand out to you and you wrapped your finger around his for a moment, “Might still get hard though for…obvious reasons, but just don’t mind it and it’ll settle down…eventually.” He said and you chuckled as he smiled up at you from his pillow.

“Fine.” You responded and he immediately scooted over to make space for you. You switched off his bedside lamp and turned around, you felt his soft exhales just a few inches away from you. You bit your lip and just shook off any hesitation as you close the space between you two to kiss him. You could feel Harry smile into the kiss which ended it naturally. “Sorry.” You whispered against his lips breathily, “Broke my own rule.”

“It’s alright. I don’t mind.” He whispered back, his voice slightly cracking with his rasp, it sent a chill through your body. You pecked his lips before you turned around and settled against him and as he cuddled up closer you felt his cock bulging into your backside and you bit your lip, he felt quite big. “Sorry, love” 

“It’s alright. I don’t mind.” You said back to him and he chuckled, “Night.”

You'd had a crush on Harry for as long as you could remember. Practically ever since he came into your life at the age of 14. He was 2 years older, like your brother, so you knew he didn't mind you in the slightest. You guys never really talked one-on-one until he came into your job one day and informed you that he now worked in a building just down the street and his coworkers had recommended he get his coffee from the shop you worked at. So you started to see a lot more of him, almost daily. At first you'd just talk about your brother and how he was hard at work at the law firm he had been hired at, but soon it started becoming more about yourselves and well, it definitely rekindled your crush on him.

You were still in university and well, he'd just entered the workforce and so you figured that maybe he could help you get a better job where he worked. You liked the coffee shop and your coworkers were fun, but you could really afford to get paid better since you planned on moving out of the dorms with your best friends, Natalie and Mandy, during the summer. Neither of you wanted to be holed up in the dorm for your final year of university. You were nervous to ask him, but of course, he was really cool about it and told you he'd ask around. Sure enough, there was an administrative assistant position open for the floor manager and you applied and interviewed as soon as possible. You'd done some secretarial work in the past and well your previous employers gave you glowing recommendations and you were hired.

Harry obviously sort of took you under his wing. He introduce you to his friends at work, and not as his best friend's little sister, by your name and telling them that you were his "good friend" which made you feel good. Like he was starting to take you seriously. And you guys even started bringing each other lunch, going out after work when you didn't have class whether it be with your work friends or with your friends... he would obviously flirt with you, but you tried not to let it get to your head because he flirted with everyone.

This went on for months and one day Harry was dropping you off at your flat and before you could get out of his car he just leaned in and kissed you. It caught you completely off guard and he apologized incessantly as he pulled away, but when you gathered your frazzled self you grabbed his face and kissed him back. You spent close to 15 minutes making out heatedly. You only stopped because the security guard came to tap on his window because the glass was all fogged up. You guys died laughing from embarrassment, but you didn't care, he had kissed you first and you had kissed him back...maybe he liked you like you liked him.

It had been 2 months since that night and you hadn't kissed again. He hadn't even made a move on you. You figured it had something to do with your brother or him feeling weird about having known you your whole life basically. But he still asked about your plans all the time, he came over to your flat to hang out with you and your friends, he'd still go out with you guys...and you just thought that maybe he just needed a bit of time to really solidify his feelings for you. You had told your best friends/roommates about the steamy kiss when it happened, so they knew that you were interested in him and they'd ask for updates, see how things were going and well, there hadn't been any progress from the usual stuff. When your friend Mandy suggested that you invite him to her birthday party to see if that would push him to make a move you decided to take her advice.

You had no idea why you were so nervous about asking him something so simple, but you were. Your palms were sweaty as you made your way over to his office with his coffee order from the shop down the street.

"Coffee's here!" you said to him as you peeked into his door and he glanced up from his computer screen and smiled at you.

"Life saver!" he hummed as you set the large paper cup on his desk, "You didn't have to get me the bigger one." he assured you.

"S'alright, the manager is still cool with me so she charges me for the mediums but "makes the wrong amount" and then gives me the larges." you explained to him and he chuckled.

"Well, in that case...keep that relationship going strong. I really needed this, m'knackered today." he said, "Went to this like midnight garden walk thing and I didn't know it was like a 4 hour thing." He chuckled as he took a drink of his coffee and your eyes widened.

"Oh, no way! Natalie went to that too! Well, she stayed over her friend's house though cause they lived close or something." you explained and Harry suddenly choked on his coffee. He started coughing loudly and reached for his water jug and chugged some down to clear the discomfort from his throat, "Are you OK?" you asked him and he nodded with watery eyes.

"Yeah it just went down the wrong pipe and it's hot so I just...nearly died." he coughed again, "Is there a giant hole where my esophagus is?" he asked you jokingly, craning his neck up and you chuckled.

"No. I think you'll live." you said and he smiled, "Oh so ummm, we're having a little birthday party for Mandy on Saturday night if you want to come?" you asked casually, feeling quite proud of yourself for your delivery.

"Oh really?" he asked and you nodded. He was acting a little strange, but you couldn't figure out what it was, he seemed a little nervous and it made you nervous to think that you might be making him nervous.

"Ummm, yeah."

"Well, yeah thanks for inviting me. Count me in." he said with a smile and you nodded.

"Cool. Starts at 7:30 and ends sometime the next morning." you said with a mischievous little glint in your eyes and he chuckled.

"Sounds like a fun time."

"Yeah. So ummm, yeah...I'll see you there. And are we still on for drinks with everyone tomorrow?"

"Oh, about that, I actually had something come up. Just a plan I had made before that I forgot about." he over explained and you looked at him oddly, "So ummm, I'm gonna have to skip out on that. Sorry., leaving you ride-less." he said and you shrugged.

"OK, that's alright. I'm sure someone else won't mind dropping me off at home." you assured him.

"Alright. See you Saturday then."

"Or later...for lunch?" you said and he chuckled.

"Right, right." he said and shook his head.

"Sleep deprivation is a bitch, I get it." you assured and he chuckled before you headed back to your desk.

For the next few days Harry continued acting flighty and nervous which you'd come to understand was quite unusual for him. It was kind of stressing you out and making you wonder what on earth was going on with him. You figured you'd be able to address it on Saturday when he was a bit more relaxed. And hopefully be able to address that tension that was brewing between you two.

On the day of the party you did yourself up just a bit more. Not enough to outshine Mandy, but just enough to feel more confident about yourself. And well, the three of you looked great! You took cute pictures with Mandy and Nat before guests started arriving and then tended to some last minute details before you'd head on up to the roof. They had made it into a little patio type of thing that you could reserve. It just made sense to be there because the weather had been really kind to you and you also wouldn't be bothering your neighbors with the music or noise. You literally kept your eyes peeled for Harry, who arrived about an hour after the party started.

"Look who I found!" Natalie said as she came up to you and Mandy with a bag of ice in her hands and Harry trailed behind her with his signature boy-ish smile, carrying another bag of ice.

"Hey!" Mandy greeted him first, "Thank you for coming!"

"Happy birthday!" he greeted her happily, "You look beautiful! Thanks for inviting me." he said happily and Mandy smiled.

"Awww thanks, Harry. And well love that you're here but ...I think that Y/N actually invited you, so....I'll take this." she said walking up to him and grabbing the bag of ice from him and glancing to Natalie, "We should go get these in the coolers, Nat." she said and Natalie glanced between you and Harry with a smile before following after Mandy. You were probably red in the face, you could feel that your ears were burning up...Mandy was not subtle by any means.

"I'm sorry about that."

"It's alright." he chuckled as he looked away from you timidly for a moment and then meeting your eyes again, "You look beautiful too. You all do." he added in at the end and you chuckled. He was nervous again and it was stressing you out.

"What's going on with you lately?" you asked him and he looked at you completely perplexed.

"What do you mean?" he asked you and you sighed.

"You've just been acting really weird with me and I don't know if I did something wrong? Or maybe I did something right? Or maybe it's nothing to do with me. Maybe it's just a you thing...or-"

"No, it's not you, but I think we do need to talk about something." he said to you and your heart started pounding.

"Oh, OK....ummm, now?" you asked and he sighed.

"Ummm, do you want to talk about this now?" he asked and you shrugged.

"Your news, you decide." you said and he nodded.

"Right...ummm...we should probably find somewhere a little more private to talk." he suggested and you smiled and nodded. You both headed to the elevator and slipped inside silently. You stole a few glances of each other and then got off on your floor.

"Figure this is the most private it can get." you said as you pulled your keys from the pocket conveniently sewn into your dress and he smiled and nodded.

You felt tingly all over and your heart was pounding harder and harder as the anticipation built. You let him in first and he stepped inside and you followed, turning around and just locking the door out of habit, but when you turned around he was still waiting a few steps behind you. As your eyes met nervously for a few seconds you decided to just bite the bullet. You went up to him and grabbed his jaw and surged forward, eye fluttering closed as you connected your lips to his own. You felt his hands grab your face gently and he kissed you back once before he sighed.

"Wait, wait, wait." he mumbled against your mouth, "I actually do need to tell you something." he said and you sighed as you reared back to make enough space between you so that you could look into his eyes.

"Sorry..." you smiled softly with a bashful look in your eyes and he bit his lip for a moment, he looked nervous again. This was it. You were just anxious to hear him say the words...

"Don't be....you're a great kisser." he said nervously and you smiled as he shook his head, mentally beating himself up for even saying that. Yes, it was the truth, he really liked how you kissed, but that's not what he had wanted to tell you, "Umm...it's just that I uh...I've been seeing someone for a bit of time..." he explained and your smile faded immediately.

"Oh my god... and I just kissed you! And made you a cheater!" you groaned in embarrassment as you freed yourself from his hold and turned around feeling like an absolutely idiot.

"Hey, you didn't know!" he said, "That's why I wanted to tell you. Because...you obviously have feelings f-"

"You don't need to say it, Harry." you groaned, still refusing to look at him. You felt so embarrassed and stupid for assuming...for thinking that he could like you back. Just because you kissed before that didn't mean he liked you. How stupid and childish could you be.

"OK, but there's m-" he stopped talking when you turned around and rushed around him and down the hall to your bedroom, "Y/N!" he followed after you and you just rushed inside your room and closed the door, locking it promptly and exhaling shakily as you felt your tears start to blur your vision.

"I get it, Harry!" you said through the door when you heard him knock a few times.

"But I still need to-"

"I can't do this right now!" you groaned, trying to hide the sound of your voice cracking as your tears started to flow.

"Y/N, please, I just need another moment..."

"I can't." you said through the door, "It's fine. We're good." you assured him and he sighed, "Please just go. I need...some time to just...get over my mortification." you said through your tears. Quietly taking in a deep breath to hold in your impending sob.

"I'm sorry, Y/N." he said, "Do you want me to wait for you or-"

"No, no, no....just head on up. I'll be there in a few minutes." you assured and listened closely to hear him walk out of your flat.

As soon as you heard the front door close you broke down. Of course someone like him had someone already. You felt so fucking idiotic and ridiculous for thinking that you'd ever have a chance with him. As much as you wanted to just stay locked in here for the next 48 hours you couldn't do that to Mandy, you needed to power through. So you went into the kitchen and grabbed your hidden whiskey bottle and took two shots before making yourself a generously dosed mixed drink with the opened can of coca-cola Mandy had left on the counter earlier. You removed all of your make up, washed with cold water and quickly started to reapply it again. It was really insane to you how if you were pressed for time you could do your makeup perfectly in about 15 minutes, but if time weren't an issue you could take up to three hours if you wanted. You hadn't eaten, so the alcohol was getting to you and you just giggled before you felt like crying again and you groaned as you leaned forward and dabbed at your waterline a few times to soak up the tears. After taking one more shot you headed back upstairs. You were sufficiently tipsy and numb enough to not think about what had transpired minutes before. You had dodged Harry for the rest of the night and the more you drank with your friends the more you forgot. That's what you needed to do...forget.

*****

When you woke up the next morning in your bed, still in your party dress you felt icky. You thankfully weren't too hung over since you hadn't mixed your liquors, also a perk of being a young adult. But as you glanced to the side and saw the balled up tissues on your nightstand smeared with your eye make up you remembered why you had decided to go off the rails like that.

Your heart weighed heavily again with pain and the long-lasting sting of rejection. You thought of Harry...and how he had looked at you with so much pity. You hated that look he gave you, like you were a wounded animal. And well, you weren't angry at him...how could you be? If he didn't like you, he didn't like you. There was no crime in that. More than that, you felt guilty for just kissing him without even asking...now he'd probably have to tell his partner about it and they'd likely make him stay away from you and it would make everything awkward since you worked together now...of course you started to cry again. You needed a cuddle and big hug from your friends. You got yourself out of bed and got out of your dress and into some sweats and a t-shirt before you stepped out into the hall.

Nat was a light sleeper and never fussy in the mornings, so you'd go cry to her about this. You didn't even bother wiping your tears as you gave her two warning knocks and then twisted her door open.

"Nat, I majorly fucked up with Harry and I just-" you stopped talking abruptly when you saw Harry's body wrapped around Nat's. Your heart sank even further in your chest and you felt sick to your stomach. Natalie stirred and blinked her eyes open slowly but as soon as she registered it was you she shot straight up.

"Y/N!" she exclaimed in shock at you and you were just frozen there. In complete disbelief. She knew how you felt about Harry...you had told her and Mandy everything, even that you'd had a crush on him since your were 14. You felt betrayed...so awfully betrayed.

"I'm so sorry." you sighed through your tears. You had no idea why you were apologizing to her, but you were and you turned around and left swiftly. Closing her door behind you and exhaling shakily as more tears fell.

"Get up!" you heard her say to Harry.

"What is it?"

"You overslept! Y/N just came in here and saw you!"

"Fuck...my alarm didn't go off." he explained to her and you cried even harder. They were sneaking around you? How long had this been going on, "It's not even 6:30, yet!" he defended.

"This wouldn't be an issue if you had just told her last night like we agreed!" Natalie groaned in frustration.

"I tried, but she was just so upset and she felt so bad that I just...I didn't want to ruin her night." Harry said and you shook your head and hurried back to your room, slamming the door loudly and locking it behind you, so they'd know that you had heard all of that.

You dropped yourself back onto your bed and didn't bother to muffle your sobs as you hugged your pillow to your chest. No wonder he kept coming around...no wonder he always said yes to plans with your friends...he had gone with Nat to the midnight garden thing, he had bailed on your plans with your work friends to be with her. You felt so fucking stupid for thinking that he'd ever see you as more than just his friend's kid sister. And as you sobbed in bed you wondered why you were always the one alone? Why the people you liked never like you? Why were you never first choice? And when would it finally be your turn to be happy?

Being on Harry's management team was mostly wonderful and a very positive experience so far. He was so kind, honest, direct, hard-working, receptive, and trusting. This conglomeration of traits made him a dream to work with. He hardly ever gave you any trouble, but he was human so of course, he made mistakes and bad judgement calls, but he was never one to come up with some elaborate scheme to distract from those things. He'd fix the issue with whoever had been involved and move on, he didn't feel a need to defend himself to the press or the public when they had nothing to do with his private problems. No twitter-storms for him and that made the management team's job pretty easy.

But just because Harry was a mellow and level-headed guy it didn't make him exempt from the old rumor mill. People just found any excuse to be nasty. And like any normal person, Harry had things going on in his personal life that sometimes just made him more sensitive or susceptible to feeling low. Like now... someone he had been seeing exclusively for a few months apparently hadn't granted him the same courtesy. A friend of his in London saw her kissing someone else and well...he didn't take it too well and out of frustration, he drunkenly kissed the next willing person and well...that backfired on him. And now the person he'd been seeing was telling everyone that he had cheated on her. Harry was really angry with that.

He knew that he couldn't control other people, but he just wished that the people he let into his life would just take a moment to think. Thankfully no one was really believing that he had been seeing this clout-chasing chick, but it still hurt his feelings. He had let her in to his life. He had slept with her, he had taken her on dates, he had told her things about himself...he felt betrayed and for some reason this particular time it was just taking a lot longer for him to bounce back.

In session, his writing was reflecting his evident frustration and he was being quite petty. This was personal and he hated that he was stooping to that level. He felt immature and incapable of handling what he was feeling and it was ridiculous.

"This is so fucking stupid..." he groaned into his hands. You'd watched this chaos unfold for long enough, so you decided to step in.

"Guys, I think it's a good time to take a little break. Get some lunch...take a walk..." she said to the others in the room.

"Yeah, good call." Harry mumbled and people started getting up to leave and as Harry stood from his seat and started walking out behind Mitch you called out to him.

"Not you, Harry!" you called after him and he patted Mitch on the back and said a couple things to him before Mitch gave him a thumbs up and headed off. Harry came back over to his previous seat as you stood at the control panel, just looking around. You were the newest addition to him team, hired on just shy of a year ago. You'd mostly been handling contracts though and he'd been touring and releasing films so you hadn't really had a lot of face-time with him. And he didn't know you as well as he knew the rest of his team, they'd been friends even before they managed him. So you got that you were new and that he was a bit unsure around you, but you just wanted to make sure he was OK.

"Look, I know that we've basically wasted the morning and that we're gonna need to pay for another day-"

"Harry, I don't care about that, I'll book another day out if you want it, no problem." you assured him, "I just wanted to make sure that you're OK." you said and his expression changed to a more relaxed one.

"Oh." he said and you offered him a slight and sympathetic smile.

"Yeah. I know it's been rough and I know that we don't know each other that well, but if you're not feeling this kind of work right now you don't have to do this." you explained and he smiled a bit.

"I know I've sucked today, but to the point where my own manager would rather I not do a writing session?" he asked and you chuckled.

"Can I be candid with you?" you asked and he nodded firmly, "I really like your music. And I'm not just saying that, it's heavily featured on a few of my playlists," you explained and he smiled, "And while I realize that some of the best work can come from painful or angry places, you're currently giving... Taylor Swift circa 2008-2009." you said and he literally burst out laughing and you chuckled softly at his reaction.

"Some might argue that those were her golden years." he said after he settled down.

"I'm not saying it's bad, but what I mean to say is she was a teenager then and it...shows. And not that you can't behave like a teenager as an adult... everyone's journey is different!" you defended and he chuckled, "But I know that's not you. And I just feel like you're just really frustrated with everything you're going through and it's not coming out right because you're kind of trying to force yourself to push through your hurt with this process." you said and he bit his lip sadly for a moment before he sighed.

"Look I'm just...feeling really hopeless right now. And you're absolutely right, that's not me." he shook his head as he looked in your eyes. "I feel so foreign to my own mind....like, when did it even know how to think that way?" he said and you nodded, "I mean...I can't accept to believe that things will never work out. That I'll never get a chance at a normal relationship again. That everyone in my life has an ulterior motive...but I'm starting to, Y/N." he said with so much hurt in his eyes, they were glossy from the tears forming and you just reached out and he grabbed your hand.

You didn't have any words to say to him. You had no idea what it felt like to be him. Anyone would think he'd have it easy, but it was harder than it was easier most of the time. You just wanted him to know that you heard him and that you were there with him, that's it. Your thumb ran over his knuckles in a comforting gesture and suddenly his tears startled to fall and he inhaled sharply as he tried to hold back his sob and you frowned when he just decided to let it out. You stood immediately and hugged him against your chest. His head was resting right over your heart and you just held his head with one hand and lightly scratched his back with the other. After a few minutes he'd calmed but made no move to get out of your hold. You understood, sometimes you just needed to be held.

"I'm sorry, I didn't plan to lay all that on you." he said quietly and smiled.

"It' don't mind it. It's why I'm here." you said and he let go of you and leaned back as he looked at you looking a bit perplexed.

"What you're here for?" he asked with some hurt in his voice and then you shook your head.

"Oh, not like as part of my job, Harry!" you explained quickly, "I mean like here here. Like on planet earth. As a human being I'm here to share experiences and relate with other human beings. To learn to care for each other and help each other..." you said and he nodded and then smiled slightly.

"Right...I was about to say, after everything I've just told you?" he chuckled lightly now and you did too as you place a hand on his shoulder.

"Yeah, sorry for the misunderstanding." you shook your head in a little embarrassment, "So did that help? Just...letting it out?" you asked him and he nodded.

"Yeah, I feel a bit better." he said.

"A bit is more than nothing." you said with a smile, taking the win and he nodded. "So, would you like to keep trying here or would you like to call it a day?" you asked him and he sighed and looked into your eyes.

"I think we should call it a day." he concluded.

"OK, I'll let the guys know." you said with a small smile and headed out to the food lounge. After you told them the new you chit-chatted for a bit before saying goodbye. You hummed happily as you considered the possibilities for the rest of your day... grab your things, pick up a nice bottle of wine, call your nail lady and to see if she could squeeze you in for a pedi? As you came back into the studio you that Harry had his things packed on the floor beside him while he sat on the arm of the couch. He glanced up when he heard you come in and you smiled, "Hey H, sorry if I kept you waiting, I got to talking. Did you need something else from me?" you asked.

"I'm gonna ask you something and it's gonna sound awful, but I promise I mean it in the most not awful way-"

"Harry, just ask." you interrupted him with a chuckle and he nodded.

"Right. Ummm...w-would you like to spend the night at mine?" he asked you and you looked at him skeptically.

"Like....for....?"

"Not sex!" he said right away and then shook his head, "Not because you're a person I wouldn't want to have sex with. Like I would if I had to. Like...last people on earth type of thing. But well, that sounds like I'd do it with you just because I had no other choice. Which I mean, I would still probably have sex with you given a choice, you know?" he finished his ramble and you just decided to not even go there.

"OK...so not for sex. So then for what?" you asked him.

"Just to be with someone. We could play board games or watch movies or tv...ummm, I'm pretty sure I've got everything I'd need to make banana bread... we could do that. Or just talk and listen to music? We can do whatever I just don't want to be alone." he admitted softly.

"Harry...I really want to, but I also work for you and I... just don't want to blur the boundaries too much." you explained.

"You literally just told me this is why you're here." he appealed to her, "I'm friends with Jeff and Tommy...why couldn't I be friends with you?" he asked and you smiled at him.

"You're not exactly asking a crazy question..." you said and he smiled lightly at you. "Fine. But I'm gonna go home and pack a bag. When I arrive I hope to smell some banana bread in the oven." you said and he smiled.

"Deal." he said and you nodded. He reached for your bag on the coffee table and handed it over and you smiled and thanked him as you walked down the hall. "Gonna go say good bye to the lads."

"Yeah, you go ahead." you assured him and he made his way down the other hall, "H!" you called after him and he glanced back, "You're gonna be OK. I promise." you said and he smiled before you waved and headed back to your car.

“Nuh-uh, that’s all you, baby. So fucking tight thought I might have to stretch you out f’me all over again. Like way back then.” He said and you sighed out a little laugh.

“Wow…those were the days…” you hummed and he nodded.

“Baby?”

“Hmmm?”

“Wanna do a post-coitus portrait with me?” He asked lowly, right up against your throat and you giggled at his question and bit your lip as you pulled him out from your neck by the hair.

“Like a saucy picture?” You asked with a curious and delighted grin and he hummed and nodded yes. “Yeah, let’s do it.” You agreed easily and he smiled at you before holding you against him with one arm while leaning over to the bedside table and grabbing his phone and you watched as he actually opened up his instagram. “Wait? On social media?! You dirty, little slut!” You teased with a playful and shocked tone and he smiled bashfully at his screen.

“Yes.” He said simply as he slid over to his story. His dimple carved deeply into his cheek as he continued smiling at his reflection now. He was so pretty to look at you and you sighed dreamily in his arms. He raised the phone a bit more so that it was level with your mouths. “Kiss me. Right on my cheek.” He instructed and you smiled and leaned in. You puckered your lips and smooched him, holding still as he wiped the smile off his mouth and snapped the picture. “That’s nice.” He mused, “Do you like it?”

“Yeah. Actually I do. Gonna post it?” You asked as he looked it over a bit more.

“Can I?” He asked you and you shrugged with a smile.

“I don’t mind.” You assured.

“OK.” He hummed as he started to type something, “How’s that?” He asked and you grinned as you read his little caption: Making up for lost time 🐇🐇❤️‍🔥

“Cheeky boy.” You chuckled and watched as he pressed post and locked his phone. “H.”

“Yes, baby?”

“You posted that on your story.”

“I know.” He chuckled and then you laughed.

“No, like your regular story! Not private!” You alerteded him and his smile dropped and his eyes grew wide in concern.

“Are you sure?” He asked.

“YES! I’m positive! Hurry up and take it down!” You urged and he grabbed his phone quickly and unlocked it.

“Oh, shit…shit, shit, shit, shit!” He cursed as he saw that it already had nearly 300 views, he saved it and then deleted it quickly, but he knew the damage was done. His fans acted fast. He then reuploaded it to his private and locked his phone. “Fuck, I’m sorry that’s going to be everywhere… fuck.”

“It’s OK, It’s just a kiss on the cheek, yeah? And well, the caption’s a little spicy but it’s tasteful.” You assured and he chuckled and shook his head.

“I think you’re enjoying this…”

“A little…I don’t often get to claim you publicly. It kind of turns me on.” You said softly and he grinned.

“Me too.” He grinned back and you giggled.

“Yeah, I can tell.” You said softly as you ground down against him, “Got so hard so fast.” You said and clenched your walls and he moaned into your neck.

“What if we record an audio?”

“Please put your phone down before you butt-dial your mom or something…” you advised and he chuckled.

“Fine. Fine.” He agreed and tossed his phone to the empty side of the bed. You smiled as you draped your arms around his shoulders and slightly raised your hips before lowering them back into his and he smiled at you through hazy and lust-filled eyes. “Good girl, fuck me.”

You knew that Harry was going through it recently. He had been struggling to find a new job and his current job was really draining him. He had an asshole boss and very self-serving coworkers that made advancing in the work and collaborating unnecessarily difficult. On top of that, you were newly married and well, despite what people think, adjusting to living with him had been hard on both of you since you hadn't cohabitated prior to getting married.

It was hard for him to turn his place into your place from one day to the next. Yeah, you had some stuff over there from before, but everything was shared now so it was a bit different. It was hard for you too to feel like his home was now your home as well. And you'd had the proper discussions long before you got engaged and even did pre-marital counseling just to make sure that you two could really do this together. With you both being children of divorced parents you didn't want to take that step if you knew from the start that you had irreconcilable differences.

But all of this to say that Harry felt like he was a bit stuck. He felt drained all the time and absolutely over everything. One of the hardest things for him now was that when he was feeling this way he didn't really have alone time. You knew that Harry really liked to wind down from his frustrations alone at his own pace. His home had always been his safe space to do that and well now, that was a bit different. But today, Harry felt that he was in luck.

He had just returned from a business trip to New York and he was absolutely spent. He decided to get a car service to pick him up as to not interrupt your day and also to have some alone time just in case you beat him home. You knew that he was coming back and that he hadn't had the best time on this trip with his coworker based on what he'd filled you in on briefly, so you made some plans after work to give him some time.

When Harry got home he texted you because you clearly hadn't arrived yet. You didn't say anything about when you'd be back so he decided to wind down with a nice relaxing bath. He kind of started to unpack and had a couple things strewn around the bed before deciding to take care of it after his bath when he was in a much better mood. He had a shower and then got in the tub for a good half hour before he wrapped himself up in his robe and headed back into your bedroom to change. He sat on the edge of the bed and picked up his phone only to see several missed calls from his office and he groaned as he called back.

"Harry!" he heard his name almost immediately after the line rang.

"Yes, Mr. Thomas? Sorry, I missed your call." he said to one of the directors that he got along with a bit better than the other bosses.

"It's alright, I have some news." he said and Harry hummed indicating that he go on, "Tomorrow, Roger's going to announce that he's decided to go with Byron's proposal for the deal with the investment firm." he sighed. Harry immediately frowned.

He felt completely devastated as he heard this. The only thing he felt confident about from this entire trip was his proposal to this investment firm. He had managed to strike up a better deal than Byron's. He had gotten them to agree on early access for new investment opportunities. He had gotten them to remove the "finders" fee that was charged on top of their standard fee as well. And yes, his plan was slightly more expensive than Byron's but based on the financial projections he had run, their company would be making a greater profit now because they'd have access to the more promising opportunities along with the bigger and more wellknown companies. With that profit essentially the cost of the deal would pay itself! He was at a loss and he couldn't help the rage building up inside of his body. His eyes started welling up as his tears threatened to spill over his waterline.

"Harry?" he heard Mr. Thomas call to him and he exhaled shakily.

"Sorry, sir. Just...processing." he said and Mr. Thomas hummed.

"I did what I could. I mean, I even told Roger he was backing the wrong man, but...you know how Byron is. And you know how Roger is..." he sighed in disappointment, "I just ummm...I wanted you to know so that little prick doesn't have the satisfaction of seeing you upset." Mr. Thomas explained.

"I appreciate it. Thank you."

"Of course. And look...you're a bright guy, Harry. And I just think that...maybe this is not the place for you. You're not like these other people, they've no self respect, no principles they adhere to. I'd sayit'll be sad to see you go, but no one here is interested in helping you reach your potential. Just... think about that." he advised and Harry hummed.

"Well thank you, I'll give that some thought."

"Yep. See you tomorrow. Game face, alright?"

"Yes, Mr. Thomas." he said and then hung up.

As soon as he pulled his phone away from his ear he started to cry. He was so frustrated and it felt like he just couldn't get a win, no matter how hard he tried! More than that, he needed to succeed now because your future depended on it. There was so much riding on him having a good job and bringing in money and he was failing at that. He felt like a failure as an employee, as a man, as a husband! He had felt like a shell of himself for months and he knew you saw it and you tried to help, but he felt beyond help. He just felt like giving up. He let himself fall back on the bed as he cried quietly, he'd unpack after...

You got home and were so excited to see Harry. He clearly hadn't eaten since there were no dishes in the sink. So you rushed over to your bedroom and quickly kept in your greeting when you saw him passed out on the bed, breathing heavily. You walked over quietly and you frowned when you saw his tear-stained cheeks. You pushed some of his things aside and gently laid beside him and raked your fingers through his damp curls. He woke up almost immediately with a deep exhale and he turned to you with a frown that soon relaxed upon seeing you.

"Hey, babe. Are you alright?" you asked him softly and he sighed.

"No. I'm just...done." he sniffled, "I feel like I can't do anything right! I'm always tired and irritable, and I work so hard and these people don't even care!" he vented, "My boss is a prick who values getting his ass kissed over actual thoughtful ideas! But I can't find something nearly as good and well now there's us and I can't just quit because I have a responsibility to you now and I just hate my life right now!" he groaned in frustration and you frowned.

You knew he didn't mean that he hated what you guys had now, but it still made you feel bad that he felt like he was responsible for you. Harry was a protector, he wasn't fragile by any means, but lately he had been and you suspected that the struggles at his job were making him depressed. And well, that tends to follow you around to every part of your life and this was the result. You hated seeing him be so unsure of himself, it just didn't make sense, it was wrong.

"I'm sorry." you said simply and he sighed and reached for your hand.

"I'm sorry for saying I hate my life. I don't hate our life. It's just...not a good time for me." he explained.

"I know, baby. And I get that you like to deal on your own before you share things but...we're a team. That's the point of us getting married, we're supposed to help each other out. And well, if you need to find something else then do it! I don't mind having to work a little more to make sure we stay afloat. Your happiness means a lot to me." you explained.

"I just...don't have the energy. Do you ever just feel like...giving up. Or like disappearing?" he asked you quietly.

"I have before, yes." you admitted and he sighed.

"Me too...but, not like this." he confessed, "It feels like...too much. Like it's out of my hands now." he confessed as he teared up again and you just hugged around him as he started to cry again.

Harry knew he had so much to be grateful for, but all the of the bad things felt like they were too overwhelming for him to even mind the good things. He felt like he was drowning, he was barely staying afloat and that scared him so much. He felt foreign in his own mind and body, it worried him, but he was scared of saying it. And now he was saying it to you and he was worried about your reaction, but when you held him and said nothing about it, it did help a little bit. He didn't need you to say anything, he just needed you to be there.

"I love you so much." you said quietly and he sniffled.

… JUNE …

When Harry and Y/N announced to their co-workers that they were engaged everyone was absolutely overjoyed for them. Yes, things had moved quite fast, but when you’re with the right person getting to the point that you both want is far greater than the worries and fears. They hadn’t shared with anyone their intent to move to England yet, but they were hoping to have relocated by January of the next year. Auree had organized a little engagement party for them, it was more like a dinner actually, but it had been so nice so far. Celebrating with friends was always nice.

“So when are you guys getting married?” Rosa asked with an eager smile.

“Ummm, maybe next year in the spring?” Y/N looked to Harry who nodded in confirmation.

“Oh! You’re moving it along quickly.” Rosa said and they both nodded.

“Yeah…” Harry said with a smile, “We haven’t put a date on it just yet, it really depends on how quickly we finish settling down in London, but we’re aiming for March or April of next year.” he said and then his eyes widened when he saw Rosa’s smile falter a bit at the information he had just shared unintentionally.

“You guys are leaving?” She asked and that had caused everyone else’s conversations to halt as their attention turned to Harry and Y/N.

“Ummm…yeah, that’s the plan.” Y/N responded before biting down on her bottom lip nervously.

“Why? What’s the rush?” G asked with a small frown and Harry glanced to her and she smiled softly at him before he responded.

“Well, given the situation with Y/N’s family, we ummm, we want to have as much family support as possible for when we start trying for a baby. We’re kind of eager to get started.” He explained and everyone’s expressions of concern melted into pouts of endearment.

“Oh my god!” Vy finally said and Y/N shrugged with a happy smile.

“Well we’re gonna miss you, but we’re extremely happy for you guys.” G said and Auree and Rosa nodded along in agreement.

“Well, to Harry and Y/N!” Rosa said and everyone raised their glasses to them in a toast.

… SEPTEMBER ….

“Are you sure about this?” Harry whispered to Y/N as they sat in the waiting area and she nodded with an encouraging smile.

“I’m so sure.” She responded with a smile and he nodded.They were about to meet up with Dr. Ramirez to do an ultrasound of Y/N’s reproductive system, just to check in on everything to see how everything was. “Also, it makes me nervous to do this stuff alone so I’m glad you could come.”

“Well of course I’d come!” He replied and she leaned in to kiss his cheek.

They both felt like time was moving too quickly. After really solidifying their plans they talked to Eddie about the plan to move to England and he was really understanding and assured them both that he’d try and find a way to make something work. Both Harry and Y/N were completely booked out at the LA shop until the holidays though - they were finishing up as many clients as they could and well, they were busy all the damn time. In their free time they were preparing for their move to England, things were getting sent over a bit at a time and were being kept at Anne and Hillary’s. Since this would be their last Christmas in California they decided that they needed to spend the holidays here. Anne and Hillary were actually joining them in a few weeks for Thanksgiving and through the New Year and they would help take some things back to England when they headed off.

Harry and Y/N had also talked to Julie about their plans and what started out as a joke about Julie moving across the world with them soon became a very serious thing and she had gotten in touch with immigration late in the spring. Apart from her friends and her house, Julie didn’t have much left in LA. Her only family around was Y/N and with her gone she’d feel so alone, so she did some thinking and decided that she too would make the move out to England.

“Y/N Y/L/N!” The nurse called out from the clinic entrance and she stood up beside Harry before they made their way in. It was a bit nerve-racking when they had her lay down and they put the gel and all that shit on her. Dr. Ramirez was talking to her and Harry and she was responding to her questions, but she had no idea what she was even saying. She was so in her head about all of this, she hoped that everything was good…it had to be. 

“Alright, let’s see….that’s your uterus, looking good. I don’t see any abnormalities or  causes for concern.” She shared as she pointed to the splotch on the screen. Both Harry and Y/N wondered how doctors could even tell what the hell was being projected from the ultrasound, it looked like nothing but grainy footage to their untrained eyes. “OK, here’s your right ovary.” She said and well Y/N could faintly see the structure of it as the imaging on the screen zoomed in, “These black spots are the follicles.” She said pointing to one of them and both Y/N and Harry nodded in awe, “So here you’ve got…” she paused as she counted them quietly, “I see 10 here, which is really good and normal for your age. They look to be a good size also which means the egg there is maturing well and that increases your chances of conception by just a bit more.” She explained and both Harry and Y/N nodded. “Now let’s take a look at the left side…” Dr. Ramirez said as she moved the camera over to the other side, “OK, left ovary I see…9, all of them look good as well.” She said to them with a smile. “I’d say you’ve got excellent chances of getting pregnant quickly once your implant is out.” Dr. Ramirez shared with her and Harry. Y/N felt Harry squeeze her hand at this news and she smiled up at him.

“That’s great news.” Y/N responded cheerfully.

“And if she wants the implant out, how long is that procedure?” Harry asked.

“It’s a very quick out-patient procedure. Shouldn’t take more then 10 minutes total to position it and get it out.” She shared and Harry nodded.

“So baby, what do you wanna do?” He asked her and she smiled at him.

“I think we can make an appointment to get it out.” She said to him and his smiled widened even more.

“You sure?” He asked again and she nodded.

“Yeah, I’ve never been more sure about anything.” She smiled at him and then her doctor. It was nice that he kept checking in to ensure that he wasn’t pushing her for more than she was ready for because Harry was eager to just get started. And while he knew Y/N wanted all of this with him too he wasn’t sure just how eager she was for this as well. “I mean, I think I should at least get on the pill while we settle in and stuff,” she said to Harry and he nodded.

“Yeah, don’t want any surprises.” He assured her with a chuckle.

“Perfect.” Dr. Ramirez said, “Well, I can fit you in for that in about two weeks?” She asked Y/N and she nodded.

“Yeah, that’s perfect.” She agreed and Dr. Ramirez’s nurse wrote that down, “Preferably on a Monday though, its the slowest tattooing day.” She explained and she and her nurse chuckled in agreement.

“It’s gonna be sad that you’re going but I’m really happy for you two, you seem like a wonderful couple.” Dr. Ramirez assured.

“Thank you, doctor.” Y/N smiled. Soon enough she was bidding them farewell and Y/N was left to get fully dressed again. Harry felt even more excited than he did before, they were both excited about starting a family together. And of course they could do all of this once they were in England but it was important to Harry that Y/N take care of this with a medical team she knew well and trusted and Dr. Ramirez was the doctor she’d been seeing since she had moved in with Julie. 

Two weeks later they had returned during their lunch hour to get the implant out of Y/N’s arm. She knew it was a pretty easy procedure, but she was a bit nervous about it because they’d still be cutting into her arm and she tended to be a bit squeamish about all that. 

“Baby, it’ll be fine.” Harry comforted her from his spot beside her.

“I know, I know…I just can’t see the blood.” She explained through a nervous exhale and he looked at her with confusion.

“But…you’re a girl.”

“So?”

“Don’t you deal with blood regularly?” He asked you through a chuckle.

“Yeah, but that’s different. Like the consistency is even different! This is like…really thick and like…coming out of an open wound. Even when we tattoo it’s not like this.” She explained as she swallowed thickly. Just thinking about it made her start to feel clammy and for her stomach to turn unpleasantly. She’d learned to toughen up a bit with helping Julie out, but that was mostly throw up or phlegm, not blood. 

“Right. Well just, squeeze my hand if you start to get dizzy.” He smiled and she nodded. When Y/N got this put in she’d asked Dr. Ramirez if she could wear her headphones and close her eyes, she had been kind enough to allow it. She felt better about it with Harry here and he apparently had no issues with the blood and gore, which was great because she knew that when they’d have a baby they’d probably have to see it all and having a partner who could deal with the things she didn’t have the stomach for was always a win.

“Hello you two!” Dr. Ramirez greeted them as she came into the room.

“Hi doctor.”, “Hello, Doctor!” Y/N and Harry chimed in together.

“I know you struggle with this bit so I’ll be as fast as I can.” She assured Y/N who nodded. The nurse had been in earlier to set up the tools she needed to get this done. Dr. Ramirez washed her hands well before she got some gloves on. Y/N was breathing deep and looking into Harry’s eyes to help keep her nerves at bay.

“It’s alright, baby. Just keep looking right at me.” Harry assured her with an encouraging smile and Y/N nodded.

“Alright, let’s get the little bugger up front.” Dr. Ramirez said and then felt around for the implant in her left arm. Once she located it, it took a few attempts to get it up to an easily accessible part of her arm. “Perfect, gonna sanitize the area next.” Dr. Ramirez shared and Y/N already looked away and squeezed her eyes closed preemptively. Harry had an excellent view of the area that the doctor was cleaning off. Once she had put the swab with the disinfectant mixture down, she turned her attention to the needle inside of the sterile baggy. She carefully opened it up before dipping it into the anesthetic, “And just a little prick coming up.” She warned and Y/N exhaled as the needle sunk in and the anesthetic was delivered, “You made it.” She encouraged, “It’ll be just a few moments for it to kick in.” She informed and Y/N nodded. There was a knock at the door, “Come in!” Dr. Ramirez said and the nurse walked in with a smile. “Just in time!” She said and the woman proceeded to wash her hands before also getting some gloves on. “How’s that?” Dr. Ramirez asked as she poked hard at the spot she had numbed on Y/N’s arm.

“How’s what?” She asked without looking away from Harry and he chuckled as he looked to the doctor.

“Perfect.” She chuckled, “Alright, scalpel please.” She requested and the nurse opened up the sterile packaging and handed it over, “Thank you.”. Harry watched with wide eyes as Dr. Ramirez sunk the blade into Y/N’s arm quite hard and deep, it surprised him actually. And then she pulled away once the incision was made and instantly her blood started coming up to the surface and his mouth went dry. It was so dark and thick and well, Y/N was right it was a lot. At least a lot more than he expected there to be. Then, Dr. Ramirez pressed down against the incision and he saw the little bit of the implant protrude from it and that’s when he started to see spots as his body suddenly ran cold. He let go of Y/N’s hand as he started backing up to the wall behind him and Y/N was looking at him with concern. He could see her mouth moving as his back collided with the wall and he slowly sank down it as his legs started to weaken and he blinked slowly a few times before everything went black.

“Oh my god! Doctor!” Y/N gasped and turned towards Dr. Ramirez who was just as shocked but then Y/N saw the blood seeping through the gauze that Dr. Ramirez had now pressed to her open wound and she started to see spots and her ears rang for a few seconds before everything went black for her as well.

When Y/N regained consciousness she blinked a couple of times at the bright lights in above her. She then recalled what had happened and looked around the room for Harry. She relaxed when she saw him still passed out on a cot off to the side. Y/N shook her head as she smiled to herself in complete disbelief. She started to sit up and just then the nurse was coming into the room.

“Oh good, you’re awake.” She said and Y/N nodded.

“Yeah, sorry about this. What a mess…” she chuckled and shook her head in embarrassment and the woman smiled.

“It’s alright, it happens!” She assured, “Are you feeling alright?”

“Yeah, just fine.” She assured.

“Alright, let’s help you down and I’ll bring some cool water for you and your boyfriend.” She said and Y/N thanked her as the woman helped her down to the floor.

“Thank you so much.”

“Of course, sweetheart. I’ll be back in a second.” She assured and then hurried out. Y/N headed over to the cot where Harry was breathing slowly and she pushed his leg a bit to sit beside him.

“Baby.” She called to him as she ran her fingers through the front of his hair. He huffed and moaned softly, as he often did when he was about to wake up, “Haaarryyyy…” she sang as she patted his cheek now and he pouted as his eyebrows creased together.

“Not yet.” He muttered under his breath and she giggled.

“Baby, we’re at the doctor’s office still. You can’t stay here.” She sniggered and after she bugged him a bit more he slowly blinked his eyes open.

“Wait? Where are we?” He asked softly and with some confusion as he looked up at Y/N. The bright lights behind her were making him squint.

“The doctor’s! You passed out from seeing the procedure.” She explained with an amused grin and he frowned.

“Tha’s only ‘cause I skipped breakfast.” He mumbled.

“We came straight here after we ate lunch.” She reminded him with a smirk.

“Oh, come off it…” he said as he started to sit up and she helped him.

“I’m not laughing at you, I passed out too because I saw all the blood-”

“Just don’t…I don’t want to think about what I saw…” he said and she chuckled.

“Told you it was pretty gross.” She said and he shook his head.

“That’s an understatement. Lucky for us we don’t have to do this for a living.” He said and she giggled and the sighed.

“Baby, now I’m concerned though.” She said and he looked perplexed.

“About what?”

“About what’s gonna happen to you when I’m having our baby! I mean…there’s bound to be even more blood and lots of pain…and probably other…stuff.” She cringed at the thought, “Like…it’ll be a mess if we both can’t hang!” She said and he shook his head.

“No, no that’ll be different. Vastly different.” He assured her, “Like I’d probably be up there with you encouraging you. I’m not jumping at the opportunity to like seethe mechanics of it either, specially if you don’t want me to.” He assured her.

“Well even from up there you’ll see our bloody and soggy ass baby when it…comes out and-”

“And I will be fine!” He cut her off and she chuckled. “You were right though, there was a lot more blood than I expected for this procedure, but it was the little implant sticking out that…ugh, can’t even think about it or I will puke.” He said with an icky look on his face as he shook his head in disapproval.

“I’m giving you a hard time, baby. Thank you for coming with me for this though, feel bad now though.” She said with a soft and grateful smile and he just grabbed her hand and kissed the back of it. The door to the room swung open and in came the nurse with the water she had promised Y/N.

“Sleeping beauty is back with us!” She teased with a chuckle and Y/N saw how Harry flushed a bit in embarrassment. She didn’t want him to feel bad about this any more than he already did and it was one thing for her to tease him and another thing for it to be a stranger.

“I should’ve just listened to him and we should’ve had lunch before we came here…” Y/N said and the nurse shook her head as she handed the water bottles to them.

“Rookie move, hon.” She said to Y/N.

“I know, but I just figured if I did puke for any reason it would be less messy if I didn’t eat…and Harry even missed breakfast so he had legitimate reasons to pass out, unlike me.” She sniggered and she saw Harry smile at her as she covered for him so that the nurse wouldn’t tease him anymore.

“You’re an angel for not rubbing the fact that you were right in her face.” The nurse said to Harry and he smiled as he continued running his thumb over her knuckles.

“You know, we don’t really like to do that to each other.” He said as he continued smiling right at Y/N.

“That’s definitely the right man to have babies with.” The woman said to Y/N and they all chuckled softly as she agreed with her that he was the very best. After receiving confirmation of her birth control pills being sent to her pharmacy, Dr. Ramirez did a quick check up to ensure that their vitals were normal so that they were able to head out safely. Their car ride was quiet for a bit before he turned to her at the stop light.

“Baby, thank you for…stepping in when the nurse was gonna tease me about passing out.” He said and she smiled.

“Of course, H. Only I get to joke around with you like that. Well, even anyone close to you really, not a stranger. And truly, I’m sure they were at least prepared for me to pass out, I have before when I’ve had to get a shot or blood work done.” She confessed and he pouted, “Yeah… How the hell am I supposed to watch them do that to our baby?” She questioned.

“I can do doctor duty, love. Don’t worry.” He assured.

“OK, prefect.” Y/N agreed happily. 

She liked when they talked this way with each other, so certain of what their future had in store for them. And it was nice to know that these were things they’d both wanted so badly as individuals, but coming together, knowing that your partner wanted the same things as you and valued family the same…it just made them both feel even more connected to each other. Later that evening they recounted their experience to Julie who could not stop cracking up 

“Ah…” she exclaimed as her laughing fit died down, “I love you kids, my life would be so dull without the two of you around.” Julie confessed with crinkly eyes and a big smile, “I’m glad you’re alright though.”

“Yeah, me too! At least Harry didn’t concuss himself. You like, passed out in slow motion!” Y/N explained as she laughed and Harry laughed along with her as he shook his head in slight embarrassment.

“So…does this mean that you’re thinking of having a baby soon?” Julie asked with a grin and Harry smiled.

“Ummm, yeah. Ideally this’ll happen once we’ve moved though.”

“I got the pill for now. I just wanted to have the procedure done with a doctor I knew and was comfortable with.”

“Yeah, I get that.” Julie nodded, “Well for what it’s worth, I think the two of you will be absolutely incredible parents.” She said and Harry and Y/N smiled at each other happily.

… OCTOBER …

It was the middle of the night when Y/N felt Harry pull her in towards his body. The action wasn’t all that subtle so it did stir her awake. They had only been in asleep for about 3 hours according to the clock on her bedside table. They’d gone to Oogie Boogie Bash at Disneyland with everyone from the shop and their significant others and had quite a long day. But still Harry was awake for some reason and he huffed like he did when he was upset and she frowned a bit.

“You OK?” Y/N asked softly and he hummed before kissing the side of her head before he shuffled a bit closer to her.

“Mhmm. I was just having a dream that the baby was in the bed with us and I couldn’t hold you like this anymore.” He mumbled lowly, she didn’t have to see his face to know he was pouting a bit as he told her this.

“Oh baby, you don’t have to worry about that. Co-sleeping is not an option.” She said quietly, “Like I don’t mean we can’t ever have a cuddle or anything like that with the baby in bed, but they should sleep in their own space.” Y/N assured and he smiled.

“Good.” He hummed, “Doesn’t seem safe anyway.”

“I mean, it can be done safely. But I just don’t think the benefits outweigh the problems it can bring and I’m not even including the potential hazards.” She said, now even more awake as she considered this and what she knew of the topic. It was a rather big topic for 4am so now her brain was starting to spark up.

“Are you awake awake now?” He asked and she chuckled.

“Definitely.” She confirmed and he sighed.

“Sorry, m’love.” He apologized before kissing her shoulder.

“S’alright. They’re good things to think about.” She assured him and he mumbled his agreement, “I like how we talk about this like the baby was already real or like already here.” She whispered and he smiled.

“Manifestation 101.” Harry whispered back and she smiled, “I think the more real we make them in our mind the more prepared we’ll be for them. They’ll feel that from the very start they were just wanted and loved so much, you know?” He asked her.

“Yeah.” She responded with a smile.

“I do have one condition about us having a baby though.” He said and Y/N decided to just turn around to face him despite the darkness.

“What’s the condition?”

“Well given the holiday coming up in a few weeks I realized that I want to choose the Halloween outfits for our baby until they can form their own opinions.” He said and Y/N chuckled.

“No way. No!”

“What? Why not?”

“Because! What if I have a great idea for one?”

“Well you can suggest it and I can decide if it’s good enough or not. I won’t be closed to suggestions, I just want to be the one to decide.” He explained.

“Well knowing you, you’ll have the baby dressed as like a meatball or something else equally stupid!”

“Oh my god, it’s not stupid! We have to take advantage while the baby is chubby! And it doesn’t have to be a meatball, though that was one of the options…what about a sprout? Like a Brussel spout?” He defended his idea and she cackled because she had guessed right on what kind of things he’d put the baby in if he had his way.

“Noooo! They’ll look like a lump of shit or a booger, Harry! What if we have a little girl and she looks back at her halloween costumes and she see’s herself as a meatball? Like no…she’d never forgive you and I wouldn’t either.” She expressed her concern and he sighed.

“OK, not a meatball or a sprout then…something else. What about a tennis ball?”

“What is this obsession you have with round things? Nothing round!” Y/N sighed in exasperation and he sighed.

“Baby, tennis balls are small-round, so cute! And they’re fuzzy and a cool color.” He pleaded his case and Y/N shook her head in disapproval.

“Just…go to sleep, Harry.” Y/N mumbled through a giggle.

“Baby…” he whined lowly as his big, warm hand rubbed up her hip and then down to her thigh, slow and tender.

“You can’t be serious, H.”

“I am so serious that it’s not even funny.” He spoke with such zeal into the darkness and Y/N sighed.

“One round costume. Just one.” 

“Two?” He bargained and Y/N sighed.

“Fine…but they can’t be ugly colors or food. Make it like a sun or like a little chick hatching, just something cute. Definitely not a meatball, please.” She requested. In moments she felt Harry’s lips press against her own gently.

“Fine, not a meatball.” He responded against her lips and she smiled.

“Thank you.”

“Of course.” He said back softly. 

Harry was fun. He could be really serious and intimidating but once you got to know him he was a total softy. He was silly, quirky, annoying (in an amusing way) and most of all, extremely lovable. So even when he said ridiculous things like wanting to dress up their future baby in a meatball costume Y/N couldn’t get upset at him. In a way, these things about him made her love him just a little bit more and she wouldn’t waste a single opportunity to let him know. So now she was the one surging forward and connecting their lips together in a kiss, though it caught him by surprise when he slightly parted his lips to say something she gently rolled her tongue inside and swiped it along his own. He pulled back from her, surely grinning from ear to ear.

“Whoa…where did that come from?” he asked her quietly with a big grin.

“I just love you and your nonsense a lot.” She responded softly.

“Oh.” He hummed happily, “So-”

“No, that doesn’t mean I’ve changed my stance on the meatball or brussel sprout costumes ideas.” She said and he chuckled.

“You know me way too well. S’like you live in my brain and read my thoughts.” He said quietly and Y/N smiled.

“I mean, I would hope I live in your brain!” She giggled, “You live in mine. Rent free, might I add.” She said softly and he shuffled a bit and then kissed her forehead.

“Harry’s house.” He mumbled before he settled back into his spot beside her.

“Yeah.” She smiled.

“You know I find myself wishing we’d met before, but when I just see how we are I’m glad we didn’t cross paths until now. Like we found each other at the perfect time, you know? And as much as I would’ve loved to have you in my life from the very beginning, I think the reason we work so well now is because of the people we are now, you know?”

“Yeah. I think so too. But hey, we’ve got the rest of our lives left to learn more about each other and to love each other…to build a life together that we’re both happy with and proud of.” She whispered, “Well, actually I think we’ve already started that bit.”

“Yeah, we definitely have.” He said huskily before he scooted over and kissed her again. Her hand reached up and held his well-defined, masculine jaw with the utmost tenderness as their kiss deepened. She felt relief as his body weight pressed down over her, he was like the best weighted blanket, everything about him oozed comfort to her. His scent, his warmth, the softness of his skin…she ground up to his hips and he smiled into their kiss. “I’ll get to that, baby. Be patient for me.” He spoke lowly and it made a chill roll down her spine.

“Yes, daddy.” She responded without even giving it any thought and Harry groaned and completely gave in to his carnal needs. His cock immediately started to harden up as the blood in his body rushed to his groin.

“Fuck, spread your legs f’me.” He spoke against her lips and she parted her legs wider so that he could grind against her center better.

The friction against their most sensitive parts was making them both even more aroused. It was just a few moments before she was raising her hips to get her bottoms down and Harry was doing the same, clumsily trying to get his briefs off. Finally he was hovering between her legs again, his thick and sensitive tip was rubbing and prodding at the crease of her entrance. He was slicking his cock up and she anticipated his next move and shivered as he guided it up to her clit. He rubbed himself against it, exhaling shakily at the feeling it was giving him, but knowing that it felt good for her also got him off. Y/N moaned quietly as her clit started to tingle harder and to throb as the delicious feelings grew with each swipe and rub of his cock on her clit. Harry bit his lip to hold back his groan at the sounds of her labored breathing and very soft squeaks of pleasure. He was aching to be sheathed in her tight, cushy, and saturated pussy. 

“Daddy, please get inside.” Y/N supplicated softly. Her tone of voice was light and feathery, it made her skin rise with goosebumps. It made him shiver as he ran his cock back down her drippy slit and he sighed in relief as he pressed at her little hole, with his increasingly added pressure his cock started to sink deeper and deeper into her canal.

“Fuck, babygirl…” he exhaled. He had fucked plenty of people, but no one felt like her. She was so hot and squishy inside. Not to mention just how wet she was, it made it so easy for him to sink every inch of his cock into her tiny cunt. Every bump and ridge of hers stimulated the perfect spots on his cock. And he loved that his length reached right at her cervix right now. He knew she was due for her period soon because it was usually low like this when she was getting close to it. He put more weight over her and she hissed as his cock poked against the smooth and firm structure. “Oh fuuuuck…fuck.” He drawled out a deep moan as his sensitive head glided and prodded at her cervix. 

Y/N was tense beneath him, the feeling was a bit uncomfortable but there were enough peaks of pleasure that she didn’t stop him, it was obviously feeling really good for him. He’d never stayed this deep for that long, but it seemed that he was entranced at the moment and was only making her wetter hearing his sexy sounds. She slipped her hand between their bodies and started to rub her clit in swift circles, her actions nearly effortless from how drenched she was on Harry’s cock. 

“Good girl, play with your pussy for me.” He encouraged her and hummed in approval, “Gonna kneel t’get deeper.” He said and she bit her lip and let him reposition her just a bit before he was sinking back into her with far less resistance than at the start. She held her breath as he then pushed a bit harder. But he somehow thrust up and she gasped in shock as he impaled right into her g-spot. He gave a few testing thrusts and her eyes rolled back and she moaned loudly, the sound muffled up as he placed his hand over her mouth. He’d reached there with his fingers but his cock was bigger and it felt better. 

Her abs were already tensing as he ground into her for a few seconds and then he went back to thrusting. The rapid changes in his technique were not letting her orgasm build as fast as she wanted. The pleasure was dragging on and on, he was so great at edging her. She could feel her body start to wind up and right before she could get into that sweet spot he’d transition to the next pattern. This went on for a bit of time, she could tell that he was also struggling with this, but he wasn’t going to let up just yet. There was always a part of him that loved torturing himself like this and if she was a willing participant even better. But she was getting to the edge of it all, she was having to tense her curl her toes to attempt to hang on just a bit more.

“Mmmm daddy, I need t’come! Please, I need t’come!” Y/N whimpered into his palm.

“Just hang on a little longer, my love. Be good and wait for daddy.” He grunted with each thrust and she exhaled shakily and squeezed her eyes shut, “Can you be good for me and stay quiet?” She nodded and he removed his hand from over her mouth. “Rub your clit f’me.” He instructed, “Rub it f’me like you do when you’re alone and thinking about me.” He said lowly and she pressed her lips together and moaned softly, “Fuck, now that we got that thing out of your arm we can try for a baby.” He panted, “M’gonna have to be this deep so that it’ll catch, babygirl.”

“Fuck, please daddy! Make it catch!” She whispered breathily and Harry moaned lowly as his abs tensed as he started nearing his orgasm.

“I will, babygirl. Fuck, m’so fucking full and swollen for you.” He panted, “Gonna drain my balls in your tasty, little pussy. Gonna put a baby in you, babygirl.” He grunted as his thrusts started to slow in speed but increase in force.  She gasped at the feeling, she was getting so close to coming, her legs were starting to shake around his hips.

“Yes, daddy, yes! Let’smakeababy.” She slurred as her walls started to tighten up around Harry.

“Fuck yeah…gonna make you give me so many babies.” He whispered as he started to rut against her, “You’re so good letting me use your body like this. Letting me use you to make my babies. Shit…so fucking breedable…” he moaned. The repeated prodding at her g-spot combined with her fingers zooming around her clit had started to make her wither. Her breath was hitching and her moans slipped past her lips involuntarily, “Shhh, shhhh…” Harry urged her as he tried to stay on rhythm. She started to submit to it all, to feelings of excitement and pleasure and love for Harry, it was just too much.

“Oh fuck, keep going just like that, daddy! That’s such a good spot, it feels so good right there!” She keened. Harry focused on making sure to keep going until she was pulsing around him and he fervidly continued thrusting his hips towards her, “I’m gonna come! I’m-I’m…” her voice cracked as her back arched. Harry exhaled hard through his nose as Y/N came undone. It felt so fucking good she swore her brain melted as the pleasure crawled through her veins, the butterflies in her stomach mimicked the feeling one got from dropping from a tall rollercoaster. Her eyes rolled back and she started to trembled as he kept going, overstimulating her in the process of him chasing his own orgasm. Harry’s balls were starting to throb as they pumped his sperm up the thick shaft of his cock, loading it up so that he could drown her pussy with his sperm and get her pregnant. Fuck, he wanted to get her pregnant so badly, he was desperate to give her a baby soon. His rhythm faltered as he reached his limit.

“Fuck babygirl, ready f’me?” He asked lowly, “I’m coming…fuck, I’m coming!” He moaned softly as he started to shoot thick, milky white streams of his sperm into her generously. With each thrust he’d spill in just a bit more of his cum. The wet, squelching sounds of him driving his cum deep into her pussy were making him dizzy along with her soft whimpers and praises for giving her so much of his seed. It made his orgasm feeling like it went on for ages as he just shivered and vibrated from the pleasure. 

“Shit.” Harry panted tiredly as he finally stopped moving. He leaned down and kissed her passionately for a few moments before he pulled out of her and Y/N’s walls tightened around nothing at the loss of his warmth. “Gonna get something to clean you up.” He said and she just hummed. He quickly put on his briefs and quietly rushed into her bathroom across the hall from her bedroom. The floorboards just faintly creaked beneath his weight when he entered her room again. She was spent and she felt so spacey, seemingly having gone under just a bit. She frowned and draped her arm over her face when her bedside lamp came on.

“Sorry, my love. Could’t see.” He said quietly and then gently dabbed the toilet paper at her entrance to soak up any excess cum. His mouth watered a bit when he saw the big creampie he’d given her, she was loaded up completely. He knew she was on the pill, but he just wanted to treat this like a time when he was actually trying to get her pregnant. It had all been so hot and primal and real…he couldn’t end the fantasy now. So he just reached for her shorts and helped get them on. “Alright, be right back!” He said and rushed back to the bathroom to go pee and toss the soiled toilet paper. When he returned he smiled when he saw her curled up and peering up to the door waiting for him.

“Hurry, I think m’under a bit.” She whispered and he quickly shut the door and hopped into bed. He reached back to get the light off as she melted against his body. “You played so well, my love. Felt like we were doing it for real.” He muttered against her ear.

“Yeah, it did.” She whispered and smiled when he kissed her head. “Was so good.”

“Yeah, it was…but it’s always so fucking good with you. You’re so fucking good f’me, my love. So fucking pretty and pliant.” He praised her as he rubbed her tummy with his hand, “Thank you for being so good f’me.”

“Course, daddy. Love you.” She whispered happily. 

“I love you too, baby.” Harry whispered. And after expelling all that energy and living in a beautiful fantasy they soon fell back asleep. 

… NOVEMBER …

Y/N and Julie were busy making a nice little dinner for Anne and Hillary’s arrival. Harry had called about half an hour prior to inform them that his mom and grandma’s flight had to do an emergency landing in New York for fuel so their arrival was delayed for about an hour, give or take. She and Julie were not bothered by this information because This delay also gave them time to do some extra tidying up around the house. Y/N had just finished tidying up the entrance of the house when Julie opened up the front door.

“Phone’s ringing!” She informed handing it over to her.

“Oh no, that’s my alarm for my birth control.” Y/N said when she recognized the tune she had set for that, “Be right back!” She said grabbing her phone from Julie and proceeded to rush over to her bedroom to get her pills from her purse. 

She dug around for the little sleeve they were encased in and finally found them and pulled them out. She absentmindedly popped it out and tossed the little pill in her mouth before reaching for the water bottle on her nightstand and drinking some down to help it pass faster. When she attempted to slip the little packet of pills back into the sleeve she was struggling and realized that it was catching and just turned it face up and then she just stared at it for a few moments when she realized that she was on the second pill of three pills that were supposedly supposed to be the “period pills” - meaning she was supposed to be on her period now. She set them down and tried to do some mental math about when she’d gotten her last period. As she pondered this a memory resurfaced.

She was supposed to start her period the day before Halloween…had it already been a month? She set the little packet of pills down and furrowed her eyebrows as she just tried her best to make sure that it hadn’t come late…but she remembers that she was quite stressed that week because it was her mom’s birthday and she had also been spamming her with pics of her nieces and nephew’s “spirit week” outfits during those days. Her dad had texted her a scolding for her not calling her mom on her birthday… her period was very flaky under stress, it always had been so she didn’t think much of it at the time and clearly she’d forgotten all about it. There was no way she was pregnant… but then when she thought further back she recalled that she’d been really inconsistent with the birth control pills the first couple weeks because she kept forgetting to take them…that’s when she decided she’d set an alarm for them… and then her eyes widened even more when she recalled that it was during those weeks that she and Harry had literally had the hottest sex of their relationship in this very room, just a few steps away on her bed. She was still processing when she walked over to the kitchen to find Julie. When she walked in she stood there for a few seconds silently as she pieced together how she would even break this news to her aunt.

“What? You’re creeping me out!” Julie chuckled as she spared Y/N a glance. She swallowed thickly her tongue felt so heavy, almost as if it were unwilling to help her form the words. “You’re scaring me.” Julie said with a slight frown now as she set down the knife in her hands.

“Ummm…I…I think we need to get a pregnancy test.” She finally got out softly and with so much anxiety laced in her voice. Julie’s frown slowly turned up into a smile as she brought her hands up to hold her face.

“Are you serious right now?” She asked and Y/N nodded.

“So fucking serious.” She managed to breathe out and Julie nodded and rushed over to the burner to shut it off and move the food to the cool one behind it. 

“OK! OK! Let me get my bag and my keys and we’ll go.” She said and rushed out of the kitchen only to peek back in seconds later, “I need you to chug like 2 water bottles.” She said and then hurried away again.

After 20 minutes they were back at the house with a few pregnancy tests. Y/N knew she didn’t need that many but she wanted to at least take 2 just to be sure and well, it wouldn’t hurt to have a few on hand in case this was just a little glitch in her system. She did need to pee and Julie provided her with a disposable cup to pee in to get an actual clean sample on both tests. Eventually another 15 minutes had passed and Y/N was still distracting herself in the kitchen. Julie’s exasperated sigh called her attention.

“We need to check.”

“I’m scared.” Y/N confessed.

“Of what?” Her aunt asked with compassion.

“What if I end up exactly like my parents and I? Like what if I’m not ready? Or what if Harry’s not ready yet? Like…what if he doesn’t take it well? Or his mom and grandma! Oh my god… oh my god!!!!” She started to spiral.

“Relax, they’re not like our family, remember?” Julie reminded her with gentle hands on her shoulders. “And if you are, Harry will be thrilled. You know it!” Julie assured her with a smile and Y/N exhaled slowly.

“Yeah. He wants this with me.”

“He really does. Wants to marry you and everything.” Julie threw in a wink and Y/N smiled at her aunt, “And the more I see you two together, planning your lives, the more I’m confident that you two were destined to do this and just… do life together.” She said with so much love for her in her eyes. Y/N just hugged around her tightly and Julie smiled and groaned as she squeezed Y/N back just a little tighter. “I love you, sweetheart.”

“I love you too.” Y/N whispered with welled up eyes. Moments later Julie was following Y/N to the bathroom.

“Well?” Julie asked as Y/N hesitated to step in far enough to get a glimpse, “Am I a grandma or not?” Julie asked impatiently and Y/N groaned as she just reached for the tests and looked over them.

“Ahhhhhh!!!!!” She literally shrieked at the top of her lungs as she jumped up and down excitedly with the biggest smile as tears rolled down her face. 

“Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god!” Julie shouted as Y/N hurried over and hugged her tight. She kissed her head a few times before they both started screaming excitedly again through their tears.

There wasn’t a speck of doubt in Y/N’s body as soon as she saw the 2 positive tests. Julie was right, she and Harry were destined to be in each other’s lives. Theirs was such a special type of love, everyone could see it. She had the best person on the planet to start a family with. He would make the very best dad, she could already envision it. And envision his reaction when she’d tell him. He’d probably be happier than her, if that were even possible. Being swallowed up in their bubble of ecstasy, Y/N and Julie didn’t hear the front door open.

*******

Harry came in already laughing since he heard Y/N & Julie screaming through the front door. His mum and gran were chuckling along with him as he made some joke about how excited they were to see them. But when he got the door open he saw Julie and Y/N down the hall, outside of the bathroom. They were screaming and jumping up and down in a circle. He laughed along as they seemed to not even realize they had arrived. His mum and gran were giggling at the commotion.

“What on earth is going on here?” Harry asked with a big, dimpled smile on his face. It was a bit scary how perfectly in sync Y/N and Julie had shut up and turned in his direction. They then looked at each other and Julie just nodded reassuringly with an easy smile, it made Harry’s heart start to race. And Y/N reached into the bathroom before she turned back and held out what looked to be a pregnancy test to him. He walked over to her and looked down at it and his heart immediately started racing and his body started to buzz from the inside out. His vision started to blur as his lips started to turn up as the two pink lines before him were burned into his memory. He looked up into her joyfully glossy eyes and then looked down at the breathtakingly meek smile on her lips then back to her eyes. It made him fall in love with her all over again. He was smiling so wide now, her smile matching his. Her tears inevitably catalyzing his own crying. He inhaled sharply and just stepped forward and wrapped her up in his arms as his body shook with some sort of sobbing-laughing thing that somehow felt like the only acceptable reaction to this news.

“Oh, my love….” He whispered as he swayed them from side to side a few times as she cried in his arms. His eyes glanced to Julie only to see her hiding her smile with her hands. She was crying too, but she stepped forward and grabbed the test from his hand and hurried over to his mum and grandmother. Julie presumably showed it to them because he faintly heard his own family shrieking excitedly and shouting praises and congratulations. He squeezed her just a bit harder and relished in the feeling of her in his arms; he’d never felt more close to her than he did in that very moment.

“We’re gonna have a baby.” She said through her tears and he nodded and dipped down to finally kiss her lips. It was tender but heavy with passion. He grabbed her face gently and pecked her lips over and over again. His kisses moved down her jaw, neck, chest, and finally to her stomach. He kissed her three times before pressing himself back up from his kneeling position and pulling her into his arms again.

“I love you so much.” He whispered, “Thank you so much, my love.” He whispered again.

And just for a few moments they felt like they were alone in the universe and having this moment together. Julie, his mum, and gran all blubbering just a few feet behind him were the thing that made him touch back down to reality. He looked down to his lover, his life partner, and best friend with a look of gratitude before he pulled apart and allowed his mum and gran to come hug Y/N. Julie came over and squeezed Harry in a warm hug.

“Congrats, H.” She said softly, “You guy’ll be amazing.”

“Thank you.” He said softly as he pulled back to smile at her before they turned to see his mum releasing Y/N to allow his gran to hug her as well. She offered some assurances and congratulations as she held her close for a few moments before she let her go and Y/N turned back to him and he suddenly had a mischievous glint in his eyes. “AND SCENE!” He shouted as seriously as possible and his mum and gran looked to each other in a disillusioned manner and Julie tutted and back handed his chest.

“You little shit.” She scolded him before his lips turned up into a toothy grin as he sniggered and his mum and gran shook their heads in disapproval of his innovative, yet ill-timed humor.

“She’s right, you are a little shit.” His gran said and Y/N burst into laughter and leaned into his mum. 

Harry couldn’t stop staring at her for the rest of the night or take his hands off of her. He just yearned to be as near as possible. He knew he loved her before, but he had no idea that he was capable of loving even more. It almost hurt, how much love he felt for her. Having this together was something that tethered them to each other in such a special way for the rest of their lives. Literally, this little sea monkey looking thing, fighting for life inside of her was tangible evidence of their love and devotion to each other. He felt like he was in a trance of sheer joy for the rest of the night. And when they were back at his place he wandered into the bathroom as she applied her moisturizer with a soft smile on her face. His hand slid down from her waist and to her tummy. She was so soft to the touch and he just splayed his palm out over her and he smiled at her through the mirror as he just sent all of his good vibes and good intentions to the little clump of cells and genetic chaos that would become their perfect baby in a few months.

“Thank you.” He expressed his gratitude to her once again. This is something he’d always wanted and there wasn’t a better person for him to share this with. 

“Thank you.” She insisted and he chuckled.

“Is it too early to start talking names?” He asked and she sniggered and shook her head.

“No, it’s never too early! Tell me your ideas.” She assured and he kissed her cheek sloppily before dragging her into bed and sharing ideas until they both dozed off.

-

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---- TAG LIST ----

Harry stayed in a bad mood for the rest of the day, he really didn’t talk to anyone except Eddie and Auree. He wasn’t even looking in Y/N’s direction, much like things had been the first few months he had been at the shop. But this time it wasn’t because he was angry, he just couldn’t look at her without feeling so much hurt  and embarrassment that it made his stomach twist in an awful way. He was self-sabotaging, falling back into old ways of behavior. Jumping to conclusions, being dismissive, victimizing himself… Harry hadn’t been in many relationships, but he is sad to say that the few he had been in weren’t all the great. The people he had been with had been manipulative and mean in the end, he’s not sure why he ended up with people like that. Maybe his naïveté appealed to leech-types, but he had learned a lot of his unpleasant traits from those people. One thing he noticed is that he would always be the one who got hurt, they never did and so when he felt threatened by someone, like Y/N all that time ago, he adopted one of those persona’s. He knew better than that, but sometimes things just got the best of him and he was really hard on himself for that and now he had done it again.

After taking a walk he realized that she was just confused because he had been the one who got upset over her denying that she was his girlfriend. She was right, they hadn’t talked about what their relationship was or where they might want it to go and maybe she hadn’t wanted to bring it up because he had asked for them to take it slow, her asking him to define the relationship was the opposite of taking it slow. So this had been his blunder and he now felt so embarrassed to the point that he couldn’t even look at her without feeling guilty about it. When the time came for Y/N to go Harry was still working on a client, so she didn’t even come say goodbye. He wanted to explain himself, but it didn’t look like that was going to be a possibility tonight.

Eddie sent everyone else home since Harry was the last one tattooing and he assured them he could close down. So in the end it was just them two and Harry’s client who was smiling as he looked over his finished product.

“That’s sick, man.”

“Yeah? Glad you like it.”

“I fucking love it.” He said and Harry smiled with pride. He got the guy all wrapped up and Eddie guided him out front to pay before they closed down. Harry cleaned up and Eddie helped him get things put away as well as they talked about the day.

“So, any plans for you tonight?” Eddie asked and Harry shook his head.

“Nope.” Harry mumbled as he finished wiping down the tattooing chair.

“I can’t believe you’ve been here for this long and you’ve got no one to get with for Valentine’s Day. Back home you couldn’t keep anyone off you.” Eddie joked and Harry chuckled, he did hook-up a lot in England.

“Just because I haven’t got plans it doesn’t mean I haven’t got anyone.” He said and Eddie turned to him in confusion.

“Are you with a married woman?” He asked and Harry laughed.

“No…such a knob.” He mumbled as Eddie laughed.

“Well if you haven’t got anything going on I reckon we should go have a drink. What’a you say? ” Eddie asked and this is how they found themselves at some dive bar near the beach. They were sharing garlic French fries and drinking beers as they chatted about how everything had been going for Harry and finally Eddie asked about Y/N.

“So…Y/N…do you like her?” Eddie inquired and Harry looked to him in shock.

“Like? As in?”

“As in her work.” Eddie said and then he grinned, “Oh, wait-” he paused with a smile and Harry shook his head, “Is that who you’re…?” Eddie trailed off with a grin, “You better not scare her off, mate!” Eddie warned.

“Fucking hell, no. It’s not…we’re seeing each other and I…fucked up today.”

“Didn’t do something nice for her?”

“It’s not that, I was just a dick about things that aren’t even her fault and she disinvited me from the fucking rom-com marathon that I really wanted to go to.” He explained in frustration and Eddie chuckled.

“You and those romcoms…remember when you dragged me to watch Bridget Jones’ Baby with you?” Eddie asked and Harry smiled.

“You liked it, shut up.” He said and Eddie cackled.

“So…do you want to talk about what happened?” Eddie asked and Harry sighed.

“Are you listening as my mate or my boss?”

“Even when I’m your boss, I’m still your mate, H.” Eddie said and Harry smiled upon hearing that.

“Thanks, man.”

“Of course, H. So tell me what happened.” Eddie insisted again and Harry chuckled.

“You’re just looking for some gossip.” Harry pointed out and shook his head.

“I can’t talk shit with anyone back home, they’re all so…”

“Bad at observing?” Harry asked and Eddie nodded.

“It’s all speculation. You’re smart, you know how people think and you’re often right.” Eddie explained and Harry shook his head.

“This is something I don’t want to be right about…” Harry explained with a slight frown on his face before knocking back the rest of his beer and letting out a small burp.

“Oh god…” Eddie mumbled lowly as he realized that this was probably a lot deeper than he initially thought, “And what is it that you don’t want to be right about?” He asked and Harry sighed.

“That I don’t deserve her. She’s too good for me.” Harry admitted quietly as Eddie frowned.

“You’re an ace, H. Why would you say that?”

“I’m just really fucked up sometimes…like I…I love her.” He admitted to Eddie who smiled upon hearing this, “But as you know, I’ve just been in really bad relationships…like everything’s perfect until we sit down and talk about it, then suddenly people change and it goes to shit. And admittedly, they’ve kinda fucked me up…and it's just been hard to bounce back from that. Especially this last one." He explained and Eddie knew all too well. They had even gotten in a fight over him pointing some problematic things out about his ex-girlfriend, but he was worried for his wellbeing and had to say something after seeing so much shit.

"I get defensive and jump to conclusions, I know that. I know I can be a lot. So I haven’t you know, properly asked her to be my girl. And ummm, Vy caught us outside over lunch and called her my girlfriend and Y/N denied being my girlfriend and it took me back to her... and I kind of freaked out on Y/N.” He explained and Eddie nodded as he listened, “I could just see in her eyes…it was the same way I used to look at..." he couldn't even say her name and that made Eddie sad for Harry, "And it suddenly hit me that I don’t want to make it worse.” Harry frowned as he explained.

“You’re not the people who hurt you, H. You’re your own person and you can choose to do better. The fact that you’re even acknowledging it is the proof that you’re afraid of becoming that. Loving can be terrifying, but when it’s with the right person it’s totally worth it.”

“And you think, Y/N is the right person?”

“I mean…look at you now, well maybe not at this very moment, but overall. I love you, man, but you were miserable in London.” Eddie chuckled dryly, “Always immersing yourself in work, barely even saw your friends and family, the only people you would spend time with were random shags up until you got involved with…her.” Eddie reminded, mindful to keep the boundary he had of not wanting to mention his ex by name. “It looks like maybe the slower pace, though stressful at first, helped to ground you again. And training Y/N, it seems has helped you fall back in love with tattooing…and well a little more than that I suppose.” Eddie smiled and Harry felt his cheeks flush all pink and not because he had just chugged his beer.

“Jesus…”

“You were the baby of the shop, H. You’re like my little brother…I say that because I don’t think I’m old enough to be your dad,” Eddie said and Harry shook his head as he laughed, “I loved to see you being that successful, but success is more than that. And what good is it to be successful if you’re not happy? Happiness is success - you told me that once when you were starting out, do you remember?” Eddie asked with a smile and Harry shook his head.

“No, I really don’t recall.” He pondered as he tried to think about it.

“Well, I do. I had never heard anything so wise come out of an 18-year-old’s mouth. That’s when I knew that I had made a great decision in bringing you on as an apprentice.” Eddie said, “I saw you grow in skill and fame and well, I know you went through a lot, but even before that, I didn’t see you being fully happy. That’s why I offered you the opportunity to come out here.” He explained himself, “I want you to be successful by your definition of it, not everyone else’s basic version of it, H.”

“I’m not gonna lie, I struggled at first a lot. Took it out on poor Y/N actually…” he said and Eddie rolled his eyes, “She was so gracious though and so…beautiful, like inside, not just physically. She saw right through my bullshit, knew I was struggling with the move and everything…helped me build my furniture…” he smiled down at the table, “Helped me throw a housewarming party. She helped this feel like home. She made it all better and I don’t know how to make up for that.” He expressed and Eddie shook his head.

“You don’t have to make up for it. Y/N’s a good girl and she did it because she knows you’re a good guy, not because she wanted anything out of it, H. Does she love you too?”

“Yeah.” Harry smiled.

“Does she know about what you’ve been through before?” Eddie asked and Harry shook his head, “Well, maybe it’s time you open up a bit. Help her understand.”

“I don't know…I think she just needed space after earlier. I made a big fuss about it all…” he said and then breathed in harshly, “Asked her to be my girlfriend on the fly. So fucking childish…” Harry grumbled, cringing at the memory, “She didn’t deserve that.”

“No, but you can make it up to her. Tonight if you wanted to? It’s only…9:30.” Eddie said and Harry sighed.

“I want to respect what she asked of me, which was not to show up tonight.” Harry said and Eddie rolled his eyes.

“Do you really think she’ll be disappointed if you showed up, groveling for forgiveness?” Eddie asked and Harry chuckled, “No one would turn down a romantic gesture…”

“Well…”

“I mean… no one does it better than the rom-coms…” Eddie said and Harry chuckled and shrugged it was true.

Eddie was now driving Harry to Y/N’s hyping him up about the plan that he had helped fabricate. Harry was shy about it, but he had done plenty of drunk karaoke with Eddie and other friends back in London and even they knew he was quite a singer, so Eddie knew that Y/N would love it. They couldn’t really find roses on valentine’s day, but Eddie felt that Harry’s performance would be more than enough to make Y/N soften up about the argument they had gotten in earlier in the day. They were on their way and Harry was feeling quite nervous about showing up at Julie’s unannounced, he wasn’t sure if Y/N was still angry or upset at him. Just as he was about to spiral into the conflicting feeling about their decision to show up and serenade his phone buzzed in his lap and he glanced down to see a message from Y/N and he quickly unlocked his phone to see her message.

Y/N:

I get why you like the romantic movies now 🥲

Harry smiled as he saw her typing some more.

Y/N:

Julie put on La La Land… have you seen it?

Harry:

Of course I have. I cried for half an hour after. It hurt so good haha

“Make a left right here.” Harry informed Eddie, “It’s gonna be on your left and it’s the one with the rosebushes lining the fence.” Harry said as Eddie looked ahead to spot the identifiers Harry had given. “It’s right up there.” Harry pointed and Eddie started to slow down as Harry looked down to his phone to see Y/N’s response come in.

Y/N:

Yeah, it does. Julie sees my tears as a success. I wish I hadn’t disinvited you, could really use a cuddle from you right about now.

He smiled as he read her response and glanced over to Eddie as he made a u-turn to line Harry’s door up to face the house.

“Should I start the music?”

“She’s texting me, we might not even need it.” Harry smiled.

“That’s lame. Why do you think I insisted on driving?” He asked with a tsk and Harry shook his head as he typed out his message.

*********

Y/N was still sniffling after watching La La Land, Julie had moved on to something funnier, but she just wanted Y/N to cry out the disappointment of the day first. But Y/N couldn’t stop thinking about Harry, she knew that she could’ve at least texted him earlier. She didn’t think he would be so upset at the correction she had made about her not being his girlfriend and she truly hadn’t meant it in a bad way, but she hated that she made him feel like she didn’t feel what he felt towards her, or at least she imagined that’s what he was feeling. She had asked for space and he was always respectful of that, so she decided to reach out first to let him know that she wasn’t upset with him. She was relieved when he answered right away, she could just imagine him waiting to hear from her. So she was honest about being regretful of not having had him over.

Y/N: 

Yeah, it does. Julie sees my tears as a success. I wish I hadn’t disinvited you, could really use a cuddle from you right about now.

She watched as her message went to read to the little gray dots appearing at the bottom of the screen.

Harry:

Yeah?

Y/N smiled and started to type out her response before sending it off.

Y/N:

Yeah, baby. 

Harry:

Well… then maybe you could let me in?

Y/N’s heart started pounding erratically as she sprang up from her spot on the couch and Julie gasped at the surprise of her action.

“Geez, you scared me! Where are you going?” She asked.

“He’s here!” Y/N called back as she hurried off and Julie smiled as Y/N rushed off to the  front door and quickly unlocked it and smiled when she saw Harry out by the sidewalk in Eddie’s car? She was confused and suddenly “Oh Darling!” Started playing from the car and Harry was climbing onto the hood of the car and he started singing and her hands flew up over her mouth in shock, “You need to come see this!” Y/N called back and in moments Julie was by the front door, leaning on the doorframe slightly behind Y/N as she smiled and gave Harry a huge thumbs up as he serenaded Y/N. 

Harry noticed that a few other people from the neighboring houses were now watching him as he stood over the roof of Eddie’s car and serenaded Y/N but her smile was well worth any embarrassment he felt at his giant gesture. Once he was finished he received several cheers and applauds as Y/N hurried over and he carefully got down from the car as Eddie also came out slowly.

“Oh my god!” Y/N squealed as Harry rushed over to meet her by the fence and he just hugged her so tight and spun her around.

“I’m so sorry, baby.” He said quietly against her head before pressing a kiss to her temple and she smiled.

“It’s OK. I’m sorry I was so rash about disinviting you-”

“No baby, you had every right to I was acting insane.” He said as he pulled back to look into her eyes and she sighed, “I can explain.” He said softly and she nodded.

“I’m sure you can, but can I kiss you first?”

“Can I brush my teeth first? Eddie and I devoured a mountain of garlic fries as he convinced me to come and-”

“I can tell and I don’t care.” She giggled and he frowned, “C’mon, just a little one?” She pouted through her request and he rolled his eyes before leaning in and pecking her lips quickly.

“I love you.”

“Love you too.” She smiled, “Eddie, do you want to come in? We just started The Proposal?” Y/N asked as she tip-toed to look over Harry’s shoulder and he chuckled.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, of course! You were part of this too.” She said and he chuckled. Soon enough they were all heading inside and Y/N was introducing Julie to Eddie and they were getting situated while Harry went off to brush his teeth, “Eddie, can I get you anything to drink?”

“A water is fine, thank you.” He assured she nodded and went off to the kitchen to grab him a glass. As she was getting ready to head out Harry came in and she smiled as he came up to her and she quickly set the glass down before he slid his hands around her waist and kissed her deeply. Y/N easily gave in to the kiss and he then pressed his forehead against hers and sighed.

“I’m really sorry for acting up today. I was dramatic and flipping shit on you and that wasn’t right.”

“I was really harsh too. I just…I would always let people walk all over me before. And I hated feeling that way and I didn’t want to feel that from you.” She explained and he frowned.

“I’m so sorry, baby. And I’m… an asshole before there’s a chance that you’re an asshole to me first and that’s from what I’ve been through as well. I just get defensive, you know?” He explained softly and she nodded in understanding, “I’m sorry I wasted this day by being a little bitch.” He chuckled lowly and she giggled and shook her head.

“You didn’t, no one’s ever sang on a car for me.” She grinned and he went all pink.

“It was Eddie’s idea.” He chuckled.

“Well, it was cool and you’re actually quite good. I’m impressed.” She said and he smiled bashfully, his eyes veering away from hers for a moment before he accepted her compliment.

“Well, thank you.”

“Of course, baby. We can talk more about this later. Do you want to spend the night? Can drive you home for a fresh change of clothes tomorrow.” She offered and he nodded.

“Yeah, I’d like that.” Harry accepted with a smile, “I love you. You know that much, don’t you?” He asked and she nodded.

“I do. I love you too.” She whispered before kissing his cheek.

They both headed out towards the living room where Eddie had made himself comfortable on the couch near Julie, leaving Y/N and Harry on the ground, which they didn’t mind as they cuddled up, just how she had wanted to be. Y/N smiled and tried not to laugh as Harry mumbled along with some of the lines from the film, of course he knew them. Their fingers were intertwined and resting on her stomach while his thumb was rubbing over the side of her hand in comforting little swipes as she leaned on his shoulder. They both laughed at a scene in the film talking about some baby-making blanket as Sandra Bullock’s character threw it to the side quickly.

“When the time comes, you better not throw the baby-making blanket off of us.” He whispered to her with a smirk. She couldn’t see it, but she could feel that he was smirking against the side of her forehead and she giggled against him and he smiled. Obviously, he was joking, but his smile widened when she untangled their fingers and instead just offered up her pinky-finger to him, in the form of a silent pinky-promise for a comment he didn’t expect to get more than a laugh for. Y/N’s cheeks heated and she smiled with incredible amounts of endearment as she felt his pinky finger wrap around her own tightly for a few seconds before slipping his fingers between her own again. 

Yes, she had been in love, but not like this. This time was different. She knew things wouldn’t be perfect, nothing ever truly was, but she knew that Harry was a grown-ass man who was accountable for himself and that made it easy for her to work through the harder things. She’d been with people who always victimized themselves when making mistakes, but not him. Even if he would react rashly in the moment he would always circle back and take responsibility for his part in it and that was really important to her. She wasn’t too bothered that they hadn’t necessarily defined their relationship, he loved her, that’s what mattered to her, but after today they definitely had to talk about that. When the movie ended they all said their goodnights, Y/N thanked Eddie for bringing Harry around and they assured that they’d see each other the next day and so that’s how they each headed down to their own spaces for the night. It was dark in Y/N’s room and she and Harry were curled up together, he was wrapped around her body this time as her fingers stroked his hair. She was patiently waiting for him to say what he wanted to say and she could imagine that it was hard to talk about the painful things that he had been through with partners, but it was important to talk about to move forward.

“So I’ve only had two serious relationships.” He explained, “Both of them seemed to be cut from the same cloth though. They broke me down horribly, they’d make me feel like I was insane sometimes with how they would twist things, manipulate me, and hurt me…during the second one I realized that she never seemed to get hurt as much as I did so I started to…adopt that kind of facade. And sometimes when I’m feeling uncertain about things I throw it back up as a like a defense.” He explained, “Especially with me ex, I don't know, I just always felt like I was a pawn, just being strung along, never really getting what I needed out of the relationship if it wasn't convenient for her. Like she was in it for the chase and just...changed into this awful person as soon as I had let her in. And well, I love you and you’re wonderful and everything I’ve ever hoped for and I know you’re not that way, but I still can’t help it but be afraid that if we just…”

“Give it a name?”

“Yeah, that it’ll change and not that you will, but that I will change. Into the person I became with my ex. So insecure and needy and…well, much like I was when we first met. I’m learning to overcome it, but it’s taken me a while. It’s painful.” He explained and she frowned as she squeezed him tighter.

“I’m so sorry, H.” She whispered and he sniffled a bit as he nuzzled closer against her.

“It’s alright, it’s in the past.” He whispered, “Eddie told me that he asked me to make this move because I was just this hollowed out version of myself back in London. Like sure, I was making money and garnering a lot of interest as an artist but I wasn’t happy. Apparently when I was a kid I told him that I would know I was successful when I was happy. And he was saying that I was successful by other people’s definitions of it, but not by my own and he knew that he needed to do something about it.”

“And are you now?” She asked and he smiled.

“So fucking happy.” Harry confessed and she smiled upon hearing him say that, “He says he can see it too. How I’m coming back into my old self again. Helping you and training you has made me fall in love with tattooing again and well, it has also helped me fall in love with you and I don’t want to be afraid of what that means.”

“I told you once that I would never hurt you on-purpose. That if I had an issue I would tell you.”

“Yeah, I remember.”

“I know it’s hard to unlearn all the pain, but I hope you can learn to trust me too. I can’t promise that I’ll be perfect, but I can promise that I will always do right by you.” She said and he felt his eyes welling up, “I’ve been a little scared too with what we have going on, I haven’t pushed it because well…I realize that LA isn’t really your home, you know?” She said and he nodded, “I’m scared of you leaving me here one day to deal with everything that I feel for you.” She confessed, “I love it here. I know I haven’t been anywhere else in the world before, but I genuinely don’t feel the need to. Like I know that this is my home, you know?”

“Yeah.” He whispered.

“And I…don’t know if I would ever follow you out of it.” She said and he nodded in understanding.

“I get you. I felt the exact same way about London. Initially I thought maybe I'd be in LA a year or two to just start fresh, you know? But ummm.. who knows now.”

“I mean, I would also hate to make you feel like you need to stay for me i-if you really want to go back. Like your whole family is there. I don’t want to get in the way of your happiness and I guess that’s why I haven’t been too concerned with really solidifying what we are.” She said and he pushed up to be able to look down at her in the minimal light in the room.

“Baby, did you not hear what I just said?” He chuckled and she sighed, “You are one the reasons why I am so happy again, if not the biggest one. I love being here, I love being here with you, and quite frankly I don’t care about that far ahead, I care about us right here, right now and that I don’t want to waste any precious time with you by continuing to be afraid.” He shook his head, “I love that I finally feel safe enough to be myself again. I love that you make life more joyful. I love that you forgive me. I love that you understand me and love me and I would love to hear you tell people that yes, you are my girlfriend and that I’m your boyfriend, if you still want that.” He declared with so much passion it made a chill travel through her body.

“I would love that, baby.” She agreed and he dipped down to find her lips easily despite the darkness. “Mmmm, I love you.” She mumbled against his lips.

“I love you too.” He smiled into their kiss.

“I’ve also been thinking… I think I would like you to finish my tattoo, if you still want to. You’re great at realism.” She said and he smiled.

“Really?” He asked with a bright smile.

“Yeah. I’ll bring the original drawing I made with me to the shop tomorrow so you can brainstorm.”

“Or… I was able to bring over the rest of my equipment to tattoo at home, we can do it there if you want.” He suggested and she smiled.

“Ooh, that sounds nice…intimate.” She whispered before smooching his chin. Harry had avoided being intimate with anyone for a long time and for the first time he wasn’t afraid of it, “But I want you to treat me like an actual client.” She said and he chuckled.

“What? Why? You just said it was supposed to be intimate.” He mumbled with a pout.

“I want the full experience.”

“You’ve seen me tattoo.”

“I know, but it’s different…to be the one in the chair.”  She said and he hummed as his big hand rubbed over her tummy, “In your chair.”

“I see the appeal.” He said and she grinned.

“Roleplay it.”

“Is that what you’re into?” He asked with a smirk and she nibbled on her bottom lip, “Tell me, baby.” He insisted as his hand traveled lower down her torso, reaching the band of her shorts and running his index finger right along her skin there. Her skin was covered in goosebumps as she smiled against his lips. “Baby, tell me.” He insisted and she nodded.

“Yes. Yes, OK?” She sniggered and he grinned.

“I like that, I’ll brainstorm your tattoo and the game we’ll play. Give you a full service.” He mumbled against her lips before his mouth melted against hers in a deep sensual kiss. She turned towards him and snaked her hand down to his brief-clad crotch, he was so hard and ready to go for her. He exhaled loudly against her mouth, his breath quivered as the pleasure rippled through his body.

“Can I get on top?” She asked and he nodded eagerly and shifted so that she could settle herself against his lap and immediately ground herself down against him. Their kissing was heated and urgent. She was so impatient that she didn’t even need to get naked. He was already shirtless, so that made it much easier for her to tug down the elastic band of his briefs to free him up. His erection was heavy and his pre-cum was dripping down into the trail of hair leading down to his pubic area. She wanted to lick it off of him. She wrapped her fist around his erection and slowly started to stroke him up and down, causing his hips to raise up a bit as he exhaled deeply.

“Oh shit…” he whispered as his head fell back as she gently started to squeeze around his tip before stroking a bit faster. His cock was so pretty, she wanted it in her mouth. She swallowed thickly and lifted herself up a bit and moved the crotch part of her shorts to the side and guided his erection along her folds. His hands rounded to her ass to try and push her down and she smiled down at him as she just barely let his tip push inside of her. Harry’s jaw clenched with a quiet groan, “Baby, turn on the light. I want to see.” He mumbled and she nodded. She pulled away from him and leaned over to the bedside lamp. Harry held her to give her some support as she extended her body to get to the switch and when it finally came on she hurried back to her position. Harry’s lip was bitten between his teeth at the slick sounds of his cock rubbing through her folds again. He reached reached down to her shorts and helped her hold them to the side so he could see better.

“Fuck, you feel so good.” She whispered as she slowly lowered herself little by little, opening herself up on his cock.

“S’because you’re so fucking tight, baby.” He responded. She loved when he would make eye contact with her when they had sex, but this was making her so hot for him. His eyes were entranced on where their bodies were just barely connected. There was this fucked out look in his eyes that was making her unbelievably horny for him. She could tell that he was fighting with himself from thrusting up into her and she was glad because she was enjoying teasing him this way. She was growing impatient, her walls were begging for more and the only thing that would give her what she needed was Harry. Her chest was rising and falling hard, her entrance was so incredibly sensitive and it felt so good to feel as he barely pushed in and stretched her open like that though. She was certain she would be able to come like this, she could already feel the pleasure started to pulse through her body in delicious waves, but that didn’t stop her craving the feeling of him so deep inside of her it made her gasp.

“Baby, I’m gonna sit.” She warned breathily and he nodded, urging her to go on. As soon as she was seated fully over him he groaned lowly. Her walls pulsed around him deliciously, it felt like she was sucking him in deeper and deeper inside of her. She hissed at the feeling of him being so deep inside. She couldn’t help it as she started to grind over him as she continued to watch him lusting after her this way, it made her feel powerful. She gasped as he thrust up into her and held her down with his free hand, “Ohmygod…” she slurred quietly and he grinned. She then started to move her hips up and down and his head fell back into her headboard as he groaned. His strong hands came to her hips and helped her keep moving up and down. She was doing this swiveling motion with her hips every time she’d go down and it was driving him insane. His tip was repeatedly nudging into that deliciously soft and hot spot inside of her that was making his toes curl and abs tense deliciously. 

“Fuck baby, just like that. Keep going just like that.” He panted, brows creased down as he tried to hold out for longer. His eyes finally met hers and she grinned down at him as she squeezed and he groaned a little too loudly and she giggled.

“Shhhh.” She warned with a smile and he swallowed thickly, “Like that?” She asked and he nodded, “Me too, baby. Gonna come soon, rub my clit.” She said and he quickly moved his thumb over her clit and she moaned quietly.

“A little harder, please.” He requested and she obliged. She sunk down harder and she whimpered softly with each time his cock pounded into her. Her legs were growing tired, but that spark of pleasure was stoking the flames of pleasure that were starting to get bigger and more intense, “Fuck, that’s it, baby. Don’t stop.” He grunted quietly.

“I-i won’t.” She stammered. Her stomach started clenching and her fingernails were digging into the butterfly inked right above his abs. He groaned once more before he started thrusting up into her, matching her pace until her jaw was agape and her eyes were rolling back as she felt him start shooting his load into her. It catalyzed her own orgasm and she fell forward and ground down against him as he kept thrusting into her. They were holding back their sounds as best as they could, breathing hard and deep and grunting softly as the pleasure started to to ripple through their bodies in a delicious way. She smiled as his arms wrapped around her waist and pulled her body against his as he thrusted a few more times, milking out his last bit of cum into her. He could feel her body shivering against his own and then her lips were smearing sloppily against his own, “So good. So fucking good.” She panted before their started kissing again for a few more minutes and then she leaned up a bit and kissed his forehead before smiling at him and he chuckled.

It’s amazing how you can go from total nympho to softie in a millisecond.” He chuckled as his hand caressed over her butt and she giggled.

“Yeah, s’called range.” She grinned and he chuckled.

“So…girlfriend,” he said and she grinned, “that was a good way to christen the titles.” He said and she giggled.

“Yeah, it was.” She agreed. He was still softening up inside of her, not ready to fully disconnect from he yet.

“Hey, say it.” He reminded and her eyes widened.

“Oh, of course! Yes, boyfriend, we should christen more things.” She smirked and he raised his eyebrows suggestively.

“Yeah…? Maybe ummm…we christen my tattoo chair.” He said and she giggled, “Part of the role-play, you know? Hot tattoo artist and hot client, he can’t help himself when she gives him those fuck me eyes and makes pretty sounds for him when he’s working a particularly sensitive spot.” He hummed suggestively as he playfully pinched at her bum and she giggled.

“Oh yeah, can’t wait.” She whispered, “Ready for me to get up?” She asked.

“No.” He mumbled and she smiled, “But go ahead.” He said and she was gentle as she moved off of him, tightening up before hurrying across the hall to the bathroom to get cleaned up. She came back with a warm, wet rag to help clean him up as well before he got back into his briefs. Y/N then shut off the lights and got back into the bed beside him and he pulled her back into his arms and she smiled, “It’s only up from here.” He mumbled sleepily and she smiled.

“Mm-hmm, only up.” She whispered, "H?"

"Yes, baby?"

"You make me really happy too." she whispered.

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