#hamlet thread

Hamlet can balance. It’s the only thing he can do. He can glide along the sidewalks with the wind hitting his face like sails on the sea. He can use his foot to push like an oar against waves. He can shift his weight on the board like the tiller shifts coarse. Yet, like all sailors, he too can fall. He can crash against concrete waves.

He can lose his balance.

“Karma’s got its kiss for me.” Hamlet purses his lips. His eyes are red and filled with sobs “I can’t go to OPHELIA’s right now because I got a ticket because apparently you’re supposed to pull over for an emergency vehicle and I didn’t know.”

Listen, my life is going extremely downhill because I’m getting acne and I’m getting fat and I’m balding right here if you can’t see the whole triangle there,” He points to his hairline, “like a piece of hair, I’m balding! I’M BALDING! I’m turning ugly and my face is going to be fat for the rest of the day and i cant even shower before work because I’m not going to be home on time and that FAT ASS INDIANA...the fat ass Indiana cop gave me a ticket and he’s like, “do you know about this law?” I didn’t so i said “no” because I didn’t and it’s so much money and I ONLY HAVE $37 and I’m not even supposed to go under 50 and I'm going to get fined by my bank-”

A voice to the side interrupts him.

“Shut UUUUUUUUUP!”

“I’m going to get fined by my bank for having under $50 and 🎶 I already owe my parents 400 something dollars and I owe my friend’s mom 80 And I can’t get a job now but everything’s. I’m okay. and my parents are really mad at me. and my life’s going downhiiiiill. so if anyone wants to be a nice person🎶  and give me money for this fucking ticket because I don't have it. I’m gonna leave my paypal link. but like” He attempts to wink ;) “That’s me winking, but my eyes are too SWOLLEN TO WINK.”

“and i called to see if i could serve jail time instead of paying but no one answered so i left a voicemail asking if it were an option for me to serve jail time instead of paying.” He sniffles

“and my friends are laughing while I’m having an emotional breakdown.”

“SHOW ME SUPPORT!” 

“Ah!” Hamlet smiles in delight before plopping himself on the floor, cross-legged and with a short, sharp pain on his bum. No matter, the merry-maker was here and all of his woes would soon be turned into...“Hey nonny nonny!” 

“Do you ever get the feeling that...” Hamlet holds his breath for a moment, uncertain if reveling this sentiment is safe. “...You’re never all alone?”

“Fair maiden,” Hamlet reaches out to take her hand, but stumbles a bit on nothing, landing a little too close. “Mine apologizes. My mind, tis scrambled from my travels. I’m...dizzy.”