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āKarmaās got its kiss for me.ā Hamlet purses his lips. His eyes are red and filled with sobs āI canāt go to OPHELIAās right now because I got a ticket because apparently youāre supposed to pull over for an emergency vehicle and I didnāt know.ā
Listen, my life is going extremely downhill because Iām getting acne and Iām getting fat and Iām balding right here if you canāt see the whole triangle there,ā He points to his hairline, ālike a piece of hair, Iām balding! IāM BALDING! Iām turning ugly and my face is going to be fat for the rest of the day and i cant even shower before work because Iām not going to be home on time and that FAT ASS INDIANA...the fat ass Indiana cop gave me a ticket and heās like, ādo you know about this law?ā I didnāt so i said ānoā because I didnāt and itās so much money and I ONLY HAVE $37 and Iām not even supposed to go under 50 and I'm going to get fined by my bank-ā
A voice to the side interrupts him.
āIām going to get fined by my bank for having under $50 andĀ š¶Ā I already owe my parents 400 something dollars and I owe my friendās mom 80 And I canāt get a job now but everythingās. IāmĀ okay. and my parents are really mad at me. and my lifeās going downhiiiiill. so if anyone wants to be a nice personš¶Ā and give me money for this fucking ticket because I don't have it. Iām gonna leave my paypal link. but likeā He attempts to wink ;) āThatās me winking, but my eyes are too SWOLLEN TO WINK.ā
āand i called to see if i could serve jail time instead of paying but no one answered so i left a voicemail asking if it were an option for me to serve jail time instead of paying.ā He sniffles
āand my friends are laughing while Iām having an emotional breakdown.ā
Hamlet continues to laugh before burying his head in his lap and screaming.