Hamish: “Top three colleges? I thought I'd be dead in a trunk with my hand sticking out the tail light by now.”

Horacio: “Then, for backstory, I will pepper in the fact that I am gay.”

Ofelia: “My wife is a bitch and I love her so much.”

Leon: “You know how I’m filled with rage? I’m so horny and angry all the time and I have no outlet for it.”

Genoveva: “That’s funny. You hear what he said? He called me ‘mom’.”

Claude: “One black coffee.”

Hamish’s father: “Well, here goes nothing. ‘You ever seen a ghost?’”

Pol: “Hey, do you want me to kill that guy for you? Because it sounds like he sucks, and I will totally kill that guy for you.”

Randall & Garret: “No! In fact, we’re gonna frame you for murder and you’re gonna go to jail for forty years!”

Marcus: “STREET SMARTS!”