#haloud

Read it on ao3 at https://archiveofourown.org/works/83802916

by haloud

Ten years into Arthur's reign, magic is free and Camelot is at peace. However, some lords still remember the days of King Uther and are less than supportive of Arthur's reforms. When Merlin goes missing on a mission as envoy to one such lord, Arthur will stop at nothing to get him back.

Words: 2212, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: Merlin (TV)

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence

Categories: M/M

Characters: Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin (Merlin), Knights of the Round Table (Merlin)

Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Knights of the Round Table & Merlin (Merlin)

Additional Tags: Post-Canon, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Golden Age (Merlin), slightly more-than-canon violence, Imprisonment, Hurt/Comfort

day 15/31 of my massive holiday project

For @haloud. We once talked about holiday fics and prompts, then I very quickly took back one of them. It’s because I wrote this. I was going to post if closer to NYE, but oh well. Enjoy.

The light glowed, hazy and warm, from the sliding glass doors. New Year’s Day dawned bright and Alex snuggled back into the firm body behind him. Michael mumbled into his shoulder and tightened his arms around Alex.

“Wha’time’sit?”

Alex smiled at Michael’s sleepy voice, the way his words jumbled together, how his breath tickled his neck.

“Hmm, it’s early still.”

“So precise,” Michael laughed, sleep slowly seeping from his voice.

Alex turned his head, just enough to catch a glimpse of Michael’s curls as they glowed in the morning light. He smiled.

“Don’t want to move to check,” Alex said with a smile as Michael reached forward to plant a kiss on his cheek.

It was early, the sun was low in the sky but Alex had turned into an early riser, even after a night of drinks and staying up to meet the new year.

From his spot on the couch, and in Michael’s arms, Alex could see the silver streamers from the night before, can see Maria on the air mattress with a 2021 tiara still on her head. Alex could see Rosa next to her, wrapped in a blanket with only her dark hair and her still made-up face. The all-glass walls of Max and Liz’s house was beautiful the night before, the way they could see the fireworks in the distance, the way they could light sparklers of their own as the rang in the new year with shouts and noise makers, and cheers as New Year’s kisses were exchanged.

Alex laughed to himself at the memory: Michael and Max cornering Isobel to pepper her cheeks with kisses, the way Maria and the Ortecho sisters had cornered him and Kyle to give them kisses of their own.

Alex felt Michael squirm against his back as he tried to get comfortable. Alex grinned again, knowing that there was no way Michael was going to go back to sleep. Both he and Alex were the kind of people who were awake for the day as soon as they really opened their eyes, though Michael tended to stay asleep a little longer.

Alex wrapped a blanket around himself as he sat up.

“I’m going to make coffee,” he whispered, unwilling to wake up the girls on the blowup mattress. He gave Michael a kiss on his cheek as he stood up.

With the blanket still wrapped around himself he made his way to the kitchen. He turned on Max’s old drip machine, pleased that it wasn’t anything more complicated. He filled the tank and measured out the coffee before he turned back to the living room. There he saw Michael gathering up leftover blankets. He gave Michael a soft smile when he caught him looking. He brought the blankets to the front door, opened the door with his mind, and then proceeded to walk outside. Alex left him to it, confused, but he just shrugged and grabbed two mugs from the cabinet.

He smiled again when he felt Michael’s arms around him waist.

“Hey,” he said into Alex’s neck. He gave him a kiss before he untangled himself and grabbed the mugs. Filling them, he gestured for Alex to go to the front door. “Go on, I’ll be right behind you.”

Alex tightened the blanket around his shoulders and lead the way to the front yard. There Michael had set up the blankets around the fire pit, lit even though the sun had risen. Alex could feel the warmth from the fire, so he sat close, cushioned by the blanket pile.

Michael shut the door behind him, coffee mugs still in hand, and handed them to Alex. He sat on the blankets, behind Alex. He picked up another blanket and wrapped it around himself and Alex. He took his mug, the one with an alien in a Santa hat as opposed to the plain black mug Alex used every time he was over.

They sat in silence, wrapped up in each other, as the sipped their coffees and watched the rest of the world slowly wake up. The desert out before them was silent, the usual sounds of nature resting as the night creatures retired and the day time critters took their time before going about their usual day. There was no one around except their sleeping family in the house behind them, each other, and the large expanse of blue skies.

by @haloud

This is going to be a mix between fic review but mainly personal reflections on the stories. I promise no coherence or consistency whatsoever. Think incoherent ravings of a mad woman. It’s basically going to be raving about how much I love this series of stories. There will be sort-of spoilers. As always, read the tags and notes on the fics people.

Part 1 - tuck my hair behind my ears and touch my soul - Alex/Kyle, Michael - Kyle POV

This story kicks off my favourite Roswell, New Mexico fic series. It hooked me from the opening line, which is one of the best ever in the fandom, setting the scene perfectly - "It starts at the Wild Pony, that breeding ground for bad ideas."

This story is told from Kyle's POV and introduces us to an Alex and Michael who have found their balance, with themselves and with each other in a relationship with some dom/sub dynamics. It's a relationship that they invite Kyle into, initially for the night. While there's play with power dynamics and some angsty bits, the overall feel of this fic is intense but light? 

It's about everyone getting what they need, and in Kyle's case finding out what that need actually is. The characters are so spot on, an easy to believe extension of the characters we've seen on screen and come to love. 

Even when things get sexy and filthy and intense, there is still an underlying tenderness between the three of them that I just love. It's the combination of filthy hotness, believable characters and emotional connection that is complete catnip to me in a fic. 

There is a wealth of little details that give so much depth (story, character, emotions) to what is essentially an extended sex scene. In fact, they barely touch, the intensity generated by the emotional and mental connections that all three characters make. 

Part 2 - what yields the need for those who lead us - Alex, Kyle/Michael - Kyle POV

Kyle is back for another night with Alex and Michael, but with the D/s and physical aspects of the relationship turned up to 11. This one sees all three of them getting into the sexy action. 

But while the fic is smutty, Kyle never treats the underlying relationship that he is invited into as anything other than significant, and about so much more than sex - "I can do casual, but nothing about this feels casual to me." 

Both of these stories give us a slightly different take on the characters we already know. Alex’s iron control is re-purposed to give chaotic, adrift Michael freedom - by giving him boundaries, and to give Kyle freedom - by letting him give up some of the responsibility he carries everyday. Everyone gets something they need.

Part 3 - i just ask you to be patient - Michael/Kyle/Alex - Kyle POV

This story is about what comes after the amazing, kinky, hot sex. What happens when sex is off the table and they need to rely on their words? What happens when you put three people who’ve had their worlds shattered in different but inter-connected ways - together, trying to build something new? What we get is two steps forward and one step back. But that makes sense with these characters. Mis-steps through self-sacrifice and doubt. Not feeling worthy of love. The fear that comes with opening up your heart to other people. 

“I didn’t want to....take up too much space.” I mean, jesus. These boys.

Part 4 - a bookend to the weirdest of weeks - Michael/Kyle, Alex - Kyle POV

This one is all about Kyle. Not many fics have explored the impact of the revelations about Jim and Rosa on Kyle. What we’ve seen in the show hints that he has a really good relationship with his parents, probably the best out of all of the humans and so he had the most to lose when he found out the truth about Jim and what he did at Caulfield. This fic looks at how he deals with that and its specific impact on his relationship with Michael. 

Basically Kyle is a big ball of inherited guilt in this one. 

How do you build a relationship on the ashes of your fathers’ actions? How does Kyle deal with having “...two Jim Valenti’s living side by side in his mind to grieve…” In some ways it’s the perennial story of the parent we knew as a child versus the parent we see when we are adults. But it’s also about how do you reconcile your love for a parent when they have done something that has destroyed another person you love?

“Caulfield shattered Michael.” 

How do you grieve and think about forgiveness in those circumstances? How do you build on the ashes?

Part 5 - it’s a postcard, i’m settled - Kyle/Alex/Michael 

Domestic bliss, Michael loves a challenge and filthy, filthy smut. I love it.

Part 6 - the stumbling phase of the midnight waltz - Michael/Alex, Kyle - Michael POV

Not gonna lie, this one sort of hurts. This one is Michael slowly falling apart when Alex and Kyle aren’t there to help hold him together. Where Michael’s fear of abandonment led to some poor decision making, “...he left his phone under the bed, so the weight of silence didn’t hit so heavy.” He can pretend that he’s missing the calls because his phone isn’t there, not because no one is calling (even when they are).

Michael in this fic is just so fragile. It’s not an uncharacteristic version of Michael, but rather a version that we only ever see in flashes, easy to miss or ignore. But here, with nowhere to run and no one to hide behind, we see that fragility in its many forms. We know from previous fics that this Michael has been shattered by the events of his life and in this story we see those fractures grow and become more obvious.

But of course Alex, he sees and asks so gently “May I touch you?”, followed by “Are you ready for me to tell you what you need?”. Ahh, I love these boys.

Part 7 - blink back to let me know - Alex/Kyle - Alex POV

This one takes place immediately after the stumbling phase of the midnight waltz (previous fic). Alex is reaching out to Kyle for support, feeling raw after taking care of Michael. And Kyle uses his superpowers - communication, calm and support - to help Alex get back where he needs to be. This is an exploration of some of Alex and Kyle’s insecurities of brokenness, weakness and not belonging. But also of pieces fitting together.

Part 8 - i’ll be your key - Alex/Michael/Kyle - Michael POV

This is a story of spikiness and sharp edges. Of the fear and anger and frustration that comes with physical danger and not being able to protect the people we love. I love Michael’s concern for Kyle, his need to touch him, to make sure he’s alright but also his uncertainty that he is allowed to. Of Alex’s fear and anger at Kyle getting hurt, that it is his fault, a failure to protect him. Of Kyle’s frustration at tough guy bullshit and professional compromise. They are in a place where they are still finding their way, but are certain enough to tell each other the truth, but still living with the weight of legacy, guilt and insecurity.

But also where once they are sure Kyle is safe, Michael can be his dickish but likable self. 

Part 9 - tender, frantic, life-affirming - Kyle/Alex/Michael

This is all about the “tender, frantic, life-affirming sex” that Michael was angling for in the previous fic, but with a slightly lighter tone than the description would indicate.

Like so many of the stories in this series, even when we’re getting top shelf smut (which this is), we also get these small glimpses of the characters that gives them another texture, more depth - be it Alex’s sweet-shark smile, Michael being completely out of it or Kyle’s being overwhelmed. 

And I’m not gonna lie, I’m totally here for the dynamics in this one, which are masterful. Alex at his bossy, dommy best, Michael melting at being able to let go and just be, and Kyle giving and taking as needed.

Part 10 - say what’s on your mind - Kyle/Michael - Kyle POV

Names can be weapons, names can be shields, names have power - names are important. 

This story always hits me hard because name fics involving these characters are my kryptonite. I love them. This one is about Kyle and Michael calling him Doc. Because Kyle knows how much Michael fears hospitals, he questions why Michael calls him Doc. Kyle feels guilty, Michael thinks he’s fucked up, Alex drops everything to help. They are back to sharp edges, guilt and fear. I want to give them all hugs and a good talking to. 

Kyle runs, and Michael, god, Michael, he needs another fucking hug. 

But then, such heartbreaking tenderness and care.

Part 11 - give me all you’e got - Alex/Michael/Kyle 

Michael is getting better at asking for what he needs, and what he needs is Alex calling the shots for him and Kyle. Alex is happy to oblige. Porny, porn with feels. 

Conclusion

While the series is definitely about the three of them, it’s one of the few that explores in depth what a relationship between Michael and Kyle could look like. What the dynamics and emotions of that would look like, how they would both deal with not only their personal histories, but with the weight of family legacy.   

I love this series because we get angst and pain and hurt but we also get love and tenderness and protectiveness. We get harsh words but also soft touches. In a story about how three people find their balance with each other, the writing is perfectly balanced.  

I love everything about this series. It’s hot, it’s complicated, the characters read true and have depth and flaws and tenderness. It’s believable. It has everything I want in a fic. It really is word perfect. Go read them!!

open up my eager eyes by @haloud​

my heart stops when you look at me

T | By @haloud | Michael Guerin/Alex Manes

Just before finals Michael’s first semester at UNM, he gets dragged to a live music night at a local bar. At first, he’s upset to lose a night of studying, but then he just so happens to meet the man of his dreams…

Take a chance and don’t ever look back, by @haloud

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19120813/chapters/45438508

This is a 5+1 fic about 5 times Michael and Alex didn’t dance, and 1 time they did. And it starts out very cute, right, with some high school memories, and how they wished they could have danced together at prom, etc...

I´m drawing fanarts again for @haloud.

The story is from such selfish prayers, The best fanfiction I know