#halfdan headcanons

► Halfdan was so loyal to his brother that he spent most of his life not thinking that there were any other options available to him besides helping Harald become king of all of Norway. As he grew older, though, he began to grow less and less content with his identity being so tightly connected to his brother. However, Halfdan stayed by Harald’s side for the sake of the higher goal they had spent so much of their lives attempting to achieve. Harald had always been the person Halfdan was closest to, so Halfdan felt like he was unable to express these doubts to Harald out of fear of the older brother perceiving Halfdan as a traitor. The last thing he wanted to do was to betray someone he loved so dearly, so Halfdan brushed aside his own desires for his brother’s.

► Though Halfdan was proud of his reputation for being a strong and vicious viking warrior on the battlefield, another part of him resented that that became his sole identity. Deep down he felt like he was much more complex than that, but he had never allowed himself to really explore other facets of his identity. 

► You being so different from the warriors and shield-maidens he had been surrounded with for most of his life would be a huge draw to him because, in a sense, it gave him permission to explore parts of himself that he was just now getting acquainted with. You were very understanding, open, and accepting. He felt like he could share how he really felt with you and that you wouldn’t criticize him like others might.

► Being with you would really help Halfdan with self-discovery because you showed him some facets of life that he had never had the opportunity to explore before. You would show him that not everything in his life had to be hard and violent, and he would come to learn that he actually found much more comfort in things that were soft and gentle and pleasurable, like you. Before you, his life was all about weapons, battle wounds, politics, and conquering lands. With you, the world around him slowed a little. He came to really appreciate the little things, like sitting and watching sunsets, taking in nature, discussing ideas and non-concrete concepts, dreaming about the world beyond your lands, indulging in beautifully cooked foods and fine wines, telling tales, making jokes. You helped him come to terms with the fact that he didn’t have to dedicate his entire life to fighting in battle for his brother’s dreams if that wasn’t what he truly wanted, and that maybe he could take things a little slower with you by his side. 

► Always having lived in Harald’s shadow meant that Halfdan harbored some deep-rooted insecurities about himself. Before you came into his life, Halfdan would hesitate before expressing how he truly felt or thought because he had spent so much of his life deferring to his older brother, nearly always letting Harald have the final say on any subject or plan. Halfdan was the quiet one whereas his brother was the boisterous leader, always speaking for the both of them. He had his own thoughts and opinions, sure, but spent so much of his life suppressing them in favor of Harald’s views, believing that was the most effective option to reach the goal of Harald becoming king of all Norway. 

► Halfdan would seem shy and embarrassed talking to you at first, not entirely feeling like his input would contribute much to a discussion because he had internalized the belief that his thoughts were lesser. You encouraged him to express how he felt, and you would introduce some new ideas for him to chew on and toss around, always interested in hearing his perspective. With you, he came to embrace the idea that he didn’t have to stick to the path that he had been on and that he could go his own way and make his own decisions, separate from his brother. He had already been kicking around that idea for a while, but a slight fear of the unknown had held him back. He was used to the routine that he and Harald had settled into over the decades, even if he wasn’t quite content with it; but you helped reassure him that everything would be okay if he went his own way, and that his thoughts and desires were worth just as much as anyone else’s.

► Halfdan had never really considered settling down before, always believing that there were more battles to be fought and lands to be conquered, but now nothing sounded nicer than getting a small plot of land with you and living in a cozy cottage together, away from the complexities of politics and wars.

► (Plus he would secretly be relieved if his partner didn’t fight in battles or go on raids. He’s very protective, and he knows firsthand the horrors and bloodshed involved in being a warrior. Knowing you’re not out on the battlefield would give Halfdan a lot of peace of mind.)

► You were the one who planted the idea in his head to travel the world -- not for fighting or raiding, but to see new things and explore what the world had to offer. One day, the two of you sat near the docks, watching ships enter and leave the harbor. You sighed wistfully, explaining how you never had actually traveled far beyond the village and how you feared you would never have a chance to see beyond these lands. Halfdan knew then and there that what he wanted to do was to get a small boat and take you sailing across seas to distant lands, to have your own little adventures together. He blurted out, “I’ll take you.” You stared at him in shock, not having expected that sort of reaction. He saw the confusion on your face as you tried to process this, and he took both of your hands in his, squeezing gently. “I promise you, Y/N, together we will see the world.”

► Halfdan was nervous to tell Harald that he would be going his own way since the brothers had never been apart. He feared that Harald would perceive this as a betrayal. Although the older brother was hurt by this news, he let Halfdan go.

► A small part of him still carried a bit of anxiety about venturing out into the world without Harald leading the way, but he pushed aside those fears and was ready and eager to see what was ahead. It was something that had been brewing in him for a while now, and he was ready for this change. It comforted him that he would be setting forth into a new life with you by his side as an equal and a partner, not as his superior. Halfdan may not have any idea what the gods had in store for him, but for the first time in his life he felt like he was finally free and allowed to discover who he truly was. All he knew was that there was no one he would rather experience the world with than you.

Tagged: @alicedopey, @naaladareia, @ilooklikeididyesterday

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

Your friendship with Halfdan would start with him making some snarky under-the-breath remark at a village gathering while someone else was speaking. It wasn’t directed to anyone in particular, but you heard and it made you smirk. You’d whisper something equally snarky about the person speaking back at him, which would make him quietly chuckle. After this, he would always try to sit next to you during any meeting or gathering so that you two could have a sarcastic running commentary throughout the event. Suddenly, he was always around, and that’s it. He decided he likes you, and now you’re stuck with him. He’s your friend and he ain’t going nowhere.

Halfdan has a tendency to be the Bad Influence Friend™. His idea of a good night would be something along the lines of getting absolutely wasted and stealing a cow from a stranger’s farm for the hell of it. In midst of the havoc, he would still be watching out for you, though. He likes a bit of chaos, but would never want to genuinely endanger you.

He has the reputation of being this dark, scary man, so you were surprised when you realized just how mild-mannered he tended to be in most daily situations. He would more or less become The Dad Friend™ to you. Loyal as hell. Your protector. Would make sure you’re safe and that you’re taken care of. The kind of guy who would hear that you wanted a new dining table in the near future, and then would turn up at your hut later that day with all of the materials to assemble a new table for you. “Oh, it’s no trouble at all. I just had it lying around,” he’d claim. (Liar. He got it especially for you.)

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

Halfdan would initially be a little reluctant to cuddle, thinking that you wouldn’t actually feel comfortable snuggled up with a big brute like him. He would be awkward and stiff until he realized just how comfortable you’d get as you snuggled into his body. Once he saw that you were enjoying it, he would let himself relax and enjoy it as well. This level of physical affection isn’t something he’s used to, so it takes some time for him to come to terms with the fact that he’s allowed to savor it. (Honestly, he has internalized a lot of the judgments that came along with his reputation for being a bloodthirsty warrior. A large part of him feels “wrong” when he wants to bask in the softer, gentler things in life, so he has to unlearn that.)

After getting over that initial reluctance, he would have to admit to himself just how much he actually liked cuddling. It made him feel comfortable and loved, and it let him feel some softness and affection that he very rarely ever experienced throughout his life. Plus, he loved knowing that you were safe and in his arms.

He tended to be the big spoon or the one cradling you, though sometimes you could catch him wanting to be cradled in your arms. He liked having you be the little spoon with your ass pressed against his crotch (dirty fucker), but his favorite was when you would cuddle into him with your face in the crook of his neck. He liked being able to feel your breath on him.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

Halfdan never really imagined himself settling down since his life had mostly been dedicated to fighting wars for his brother and he never imagined himself doing anything besides being a warrior, but that all changed when he met you. Once he begins to imagine a future with you, he knows that he wanted to settle down, or at least slow things down a bit. He would like to travel with you to distant lands, but not for raiding or for wars — just to explore, learn new things, meet new people, experience new cultures. Maybe in between your travels, it would be nice to be settled somewhere stable in Norway, in a little house on a small plot of land. He has to laugh if he thinks about it too much. He never imagined that he would be thinking about domesticity, but here he is.

In terms of cooking and cleaning, he’s pretty awful. He’s spent most of his life living out of a tent or on a ship. The times he was settled somewhere for a stretch of time, there were generally thralls to do all that stuff for him.

With cooking, he can cook to survive (hunt, clean and prepare a carcass, and cook it over a fire). When it comes to “actual” meals, like those that you’d eat in a Great Hall, he’s pretty clueless. If he settled down with you, he’d be eager and willing to learn how to cook nice dishes, wanting to surprise you with a nice meal every now and then. His main dishes, particularly meat-based ones, would turn out pretty well once he got a grasp of things like herbs and spices. His attempts at making side dishes, though, would be horrifying —  sweet and well-intentioned, but utterly disastrous nonetheless. Please don’t give this man raw potatoes. He just can never seem to fully cook them. Oh gods, they’re so crunchy.

When it came to cleaning, he wouldn’t be very mindful about cleaning up after himself, but he’d take the lead on household maintenance projects and repairs.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

Halfdan is so committed to you, so if he ever broke up with you, it would only be after a lot of thinking and self-reflection. It would be torturous for him to do it. He wouldn’t throw in the rag very easily either. It would have to be something major for him to call it quits. He would probably try to work through things first with you before ending things, only seeing a breakup as a last resort.

If he ever did break up with you, he would start pulling away from you. You would notice him becoming more distant and quieter than usual. His level of distraction and lack of focus was a clear sign that whatever was on his mind was weighing very heavily on him. After you gently ask him what’s wrong, he would quietly reveal that he thinks it would be best for the two of you to end things.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

Throughout his life, Halfdan had never been a relationship/commitment kind of guy, but that was because he had never met anyone that he wanted to commit to romantically. He had always been a loyal brother and a loyal friend, though, so he doesn’t take commitment lightly. Once he meets you and knows that you’re the one, he’d be ready to commit whenever, in any respect that you wanted. If you wanted an exclusive committed relationship, sweet! Want to get married? Hell yeah!

He would probably let you take the lead on that, though, not wanting to scare you off with seeming too eager to tie you down. He’d try to figure out where you were in the relationship based on little comments you’d make, but he had a hard time dealing with this coy, beating-around-the-bush thing, so he’d just wait for the both of you to be a little tipsy before having a classic “Soooo, what are we? What’s the plan here? Where do you see us in the future?” conversation with you.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

You don’t have a life like Halfdan’s, spending so many of your days on the battlefield slaughtering others and being attacked yourself, and come out unscathed. He does have the capability to be quite vicious (as his reputation obviously had to come from somewhere), but he tries so hard to be gentle and soft with you, his love. He’s afraid of scaring you off, so he puts a lot of effort into being tender and gentle with you. It’s not an easy process and not something he change immediately, but he tries very hard to get in touch with his emotions and learn how to process them in healthy, constructive ways. However, sometimes he’ll still find it hard to process some things. At these times, he’ll try to isolate himself a bit to avoid blowing up on you on accident. It takes some time and a lot of work, but he does make progress.

He can occasionally be a bit clumsy and crude with his words, and sometimes it’s a struggle for him to fully get in touch with how he’s actually feeling, but he’s also surprisingly more soft-spoken and emotionally gentle than you would have expected from a man with his reputation. Though he always claims that he’s bad with women, he’s actually pretty intuitive and good at sensing how you’re feeling.

Halfdan is surprisingly physically gentle with you for such a notoriously vicious warrior. He looks hard and intimidating, but his touch is typically soft and timid. It seems like he’s afraid of breaking you, so you have to encourage him to not be so timid and remind him that you’re not made of glass.

(I know this is supposed to be SFW, but a quick note that the only times Halfdan tends to get rough with you is during jealous, angry, or stressed sex, but it’s never too over-the-top.)

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

He’s a bit shy with hugs at first because he’s not used to them, but he quickly comes to realize just how much he adores them. There’s nothing he loves more than the feeling of you in his arms. He’s also come to enjoy the feeling of hugging you from behind in public, his arms wrapped around your waist, letting everyone know that the two of you are together. He especially loves craning his head around a bit to give you a kiss on the cheek from this angle because it makes you blush and smile.

His hugs are tight, as if he’s afraid of letting you go. He never wants them to end because nothing is better or more comforting than knowing that you’re in his arms and that nothing else matters at that moment.

One of his biggest fantasies when he’s gone on raids without you, the one that really makes him even more determined to survive and come home, is the thought of the ship pulling back up to the shore with you waiting for him on the dock, with you running up to greet him, jumping into his arms as he wraps his arms tightly around you, never wanting to let you go again.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

He says it first and he says it pretty fast, much faster than you would have expected or would have said it yourself. He had never told anyone he loved them (in a romantic sense) before because he had never felt that level of connection with anyone, so he just knew that things were different with you. If what he felt with you wasn’t love, then what was? As a viking, his life would often be at risk. He never knew for sure if he would be coming home or not after a raid or battle. He met you soon before he was leaving for a raid; and for the first time in his life, he feared the prospect of him not coming back. He told you he loved you before he left because he didn’t want to die without having said it.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

He gets jealous pretty easily. If another man tried to flirt with you, he would get angry and would scare the dude off. Halfdan is a bit insecure because he never thought that he would find love. Now that he has it, he’s afraid of losing it.

Honestly, his biggest fear is that his brother will take you away from him. Halfdan has spent his entire life doing whatever Harald wanted, and Harald would make damn sure that he would get himself whatever he wanted. For the first time in his life, Halfdan had something all of his own: his relationship with you. Over his dead body would Harald take that away from him.

When Halfdan is jealous, he becomes sullen, tense, and brooding. You could always calm him down by whispering sweet nothings to him and gentle caresses, reassuring him that he’s got nothing to be jealous of.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

His kisses start off as shy and timid, but become harder and more passionate as you continue. His really passionate kisses, when his tongue plunders your mouth and plays with your tongue, leave you so filled with lust and wanting more. He also leaves hickies all over your body. The feeling of your flesh against his lips drives him wild.

He loves it when you kiss him anywhere, but he especially has a thing for you kissing the scars that litter his body. He thinks they are ugly reminders of the violent life he’s lived, and seeing them met with such love and tenderness from you makes them a little less ugly in his eyes.

Honestly, part of the reason why he loves seeing your whole body covered in love bites is because of the contrast to his scars. His body shows records of violence and pain. Your body shows records of love and passion. He wouldn’t want you to have it any other way.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

He’s awkward and pretty terrified around children. He doesn’t know how to interact with them and is afraid that he’ll scare them with the way he looks or somehow break them. (Kids scare him more than he scares them, though.)

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

He typically wakes up early and leaves before you’re up for the day. Before he leaves, he’ll give you a kiss and tell you that he loves you.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

He’s a night owl. He’s usually up late, often drinking and swapping tales in Harald’s tent with others from their raiding group or army. You obviously were always more than welcome to join him, and you usually did because it was a fun time. However, he would also love nights in with you. Regardless of if you’re cuddling and having discussions, playing games together, or making love, it was always lovely to be alone with you.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

Halfdan’s reserved and not the most confident in himself. His brother Harald has always been in charge, and Halfdan has spent a lot of his life going along with his brother’s plans. This resulted in Halfdan feeling like he didn’t really have anything of worth to say. He wouldn’t talk very much until he realized that you genuinely wanted to hear his thoughts and opinions and until he realized that you weren’t going to judge him for them. It would be a slow process for you to coax intimate details of his life out of him, bit by bit; but the more comfortable Halfdan feels around you, the more he would reveal.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

He’s not easily irritated by little things. He can be quite sarcastic and a bit of a shit-stirrer himself for the sake of a laugh, so little things roll off his back easily. It takes much larger things to make him angry, but his actual unbridled rage is a terrifying sight, one that he tries not to let you see.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

He remembers pretty much anything related directly to you or your relationship with him. For example, he’ll remember your favorite flower, the dress you saw in the market that you said you always wanted, what type of wood you wanted a new chair to be made out of, your favorite shade of your favorite color, whether or not you liked the crusty ends of a loaf of bread, the place where you had your first kiss, how you liked your hair to be braided, etc. You’re his first love, and it’s all so special and new to him. He wants to savor every bit of it.

However, he won’t remember every detail of every single thing you told him ever. For example, if you told him a story about your mother’s cousin’s daughter’s husband’s brother... yeah, no, he’s not going to remember any of that shit.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

Definitely your first kiss. It was after a supper in the Great Hall. The ale had been flowing, and you both were tipsy and in high spirits. He was walking you home, and you stopped him midway to point out how beautiful the moon and stars looked that night. In a rare moment of flirtatiousness (probably with the aid of the ale), he said, “Not as beautiful as you.” A huge, goofy grin came over your face, and you pulled him in for a kiss. His performance probably wasn’t his shining moment. It was probably a little too shy and uncertain, caught off guard, but he still saw fireworks when your lips met. As you pulled away, his face moved a little forward to chase your lips, reluctant to have them leave his. Both of you had goofy grins now. You grasped his hand and pulled him forward to continue the walk back. He had spent so long wanting you, and he was thrilled by the realization that you wanted him too.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

Halfdan’s basically your bodyguard. He would make sure no one messes with you, and he would threaten anyone who harassed you. It was a time when his reputation really came in handy because no one wanted to fuck with Halfdan the Black. Oftentimes, a flash of his knife and a growled threat was enough to get anyone to leave you alone, but he would be willing to step things up if the situation was severe enough to warrant it.

He also gave you a sense of security in other ways, like walking you home and making sure you were taken care of.

Halfdan didn’t really need you to protect him, especially not physically, and he didn’t expect you to. Sometimes when other men would give him shit, be it drunken banter or an actual argument of some sort, you would stick up for Halfdan, destroying the other guy with a scathing remark. Halfdan didn’t expect it or need it, but, gods, it turned him on seeing you make an effort to protect him.

Something that also meant a lot to him would be when you would stand up against Harald so that Halfdan had the opportunity to share his own thoughts on a subject or political/battle strategy. Halfdan had spent most of his life letting Harald get away with imposing his own opinions over Halfdan’s, so you showing that you valued his opinions enough to suggest that Harald actually listen to them for a change would mean the world to him.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

He tries. Oh my god, he tries so hard... but things always seem to go wrong in one way or another whenever he tries to plan something. His heart is in the right place and it is so endearing to see him try to be romantic and to make grand gestures about his love, but things tend to go comically awry. (If he tried to bake you a cake, it would be under-cooked and soupy in the middle. If he tried to set up a little boat for a romantic trip on the water with him, the boat would sink before you even got in it. If he tried to fill your room with your favorite flower, they would end up being infested with bugs and now your room was filled with bugs.) This really upsets him because he wants nothing more than for you to be impressed with his efforts, but it feels like the gods themselves are laughing at him and making a joke out of it all.

You wouldn’t be disappointed, though. Regardless of how things went down, you would be so impressed and touched by his effort. You would always try to let him know how genuinely happy you were and how thankful you were to have someone as thoughtful and sweet as him.

Actually, your favorite thing was how he would always put so much effort into taking care of you without even realizing how much it meant to you. He seemed to naturally go out of his way to make sure you were taken care of, like making sure you had enough food or repairing the broken things around your house without you even asking him. It wasn’t something his did as a grand gesture and he didn’t even consider it to be him going out of his way, but it moved you so much to see him care so deeply about you. You would always point this out to him and let him know that you didn’t need need him to try so hard with being overly romantic. He was already enough, just in how well he takes care of you in everyday life.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

Messy-ass bastard walks with his muddy-ass boots all over the clean floor. He gets water all over the place while taking a bath and doesn’t clean it up. Can he, like, maybe stop testing out the sharpness of his swords by seeing how badly the blades fuck up the furniture? The stealing-livestock-while-drunk thing was funny the first few times but it’s getting a little old and now the neighbors know who’s doing it and they’re mad, and also what the fuck are y’all supposed to do with all of these animals? You want to go to bed, but his drunk-ass buddies are still in the house and won’t stop singing.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

He had never been too concerned for most of his life, but he would feel a little self-conscious and worried about his appearance once he was with you. He’d worry. Do you think the scars that litter his body are ugly? Do you think his hair is stupid? Do his face tattoos turn you off? Does he look too intimidating? Do you wish he looked a little softer, a little handsomer? (No, you don’t. You have to reassure him that you love him exactly the way he is.)

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

As weak as it made him feel to admit it, yes, he would feel incomplete without you. He spent most of his life accepting that he would probably never find love. Now that he has it, he can’t imagine the pain of having you ripped away from him. You’ve introduced so much color and life into his world, and you have helped him start to see things from a different perspective. The thought of going back to how things were before you were around hurt too much to think about.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon.)

Halfdan can’t flirt to save his life, especially not with strangers. There’s something so awkward and unnatural about it to him. He feels a little more comfortable saying flirty or dirty things once you two are officially together, but he has no game when it comes to trying to woo someone he barely knows. Harald would try to give Halfdan tips and suggestions on things to say or do since Harald is smoother in comparison, but Halfdan just can’t get the hang of it. He’d much rather just become friends with someone and let it develop naturally into something more.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

He would hate beating around the bush and not directly addressing things. He doesn’t like things to be vague or ambiguous when it came to your relationship or how you were feeling about each other. It would give him a lot of anxiety, and he would just have to address things head-on.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habit of theirs?)

On Broken Words 😭 🥵

Desire Halfdan lightly featured but it is a Harald oneshot * 🥵

Luxury of Being King ft Harald 🥰maybe? 

Halfdan’s Girl 🥰

I’m Not Going Anywhere 

The Thing About Sharp Objects * pt 1  ft Ivar  (pt 2 soon)  😭🥵

Unexpected

A Taste (drabble / Harald)

Danger in the Woods 

Back to you

Big Bad Viking

When Theres Nothing Left 

Necropolis

Second chances aren’t forever

Multi chapter fics 

Complete

13 Spades  😭🥵🥰

In The Shadows  😭🥵🥰🔮

In progress

Burning Bright ft Bjorn 😭🥵🥰

Hiatus

Prophecies of the Heart 😭🥵🥰

(Lightly featured, its mainly a harald fic) 

Coax (W/ Harald) (eventual * but not there yet) 😭🥵🔮

All the stars above us  1, 2, 3  (w/ Halfdan the Black)😭 🥵

Head canons

Complete

Dark Halfdan Kinks * 🥵