#h;yt

it’s probably one of the simplest videos hailey has ever done. there is no editing, no backup vocals made by herself. there was only her, the sand and the ocean behind her, her voice to the microphone and her guitar on her lap. there was nothing fancy to it, either. the whole video is about raw voice and raw, uncensored emotions flowing from her to the notes she hits in what seems to be effortless. her eyes are closed for most of the time though nobody can be sure if it’s because she’s into the song or if it’s so she won’t be bothered by the sun. it’s probably both though. the camera doesn’t change, either. hailey liked to record things a few times with different angles, but that isn’t what she wants for this video. and besides, her time is short and she needs to record it quickly if she wants it to be recorded at all. 

the song is beautiful and hailey is all over tori kelly these days so it’s not surprising she is recording a video. however, when it comes to music and hailey, things rarely came at random. she usually has a reason to sing a song seeing how music is her way to communicate. it’s how she feels comfortable sharing her feelings. and this song talks about her very situation. how she replays memories in her mind, holding desperately to her former happiness. denying, not wanting to see her cruel and cold reality. she is a sociable person and she is used to see people leave - but not in this way. not in this way that leaves her breathless and groundless. she feels like she’s falling.

she feels her heart made of paper - fragile, crumpled, damp and dissolving in her hands from all the tears she sheds (and hides). and hailey also feels how hard it is to smile like everything is fine when things were crumbling and she could barely find refuge. the girl wonders and wonders, fingers pulling the strings beneath her hand, if she has to break to be alright again. the thought isn’t pleasant, but it feels like a definite possibility. but before hailey can think more, before the anguish swallows her whole, she hits the last note and professes the last word and she goes back to pretending. 

she grabs her guitar with a smile on her face. she loves doing covers with the original backtrack, but hailey isn’t so glad until she has her hands on instruments. it seems more sincere in a way - to have all the music coming from her, melody and voice. being part of the song in its whole makes her really happy and god knows that hailey never turns her back on happiness. in some sort of way, she always had to choose happiness. that could never always work, however, the girl with the bright smile could always pretend that it did. when asked about her parents, she can pretend they don’t have an abusive relationship. when asked about her life, she can laugh and wave her hand, assuring the person that nothing special happened in her life.

music plays a very special role in her life. it brought her to that life. if she didn’t have music, her parents wouldn’t have a reason to pressure her so much. if her voice wasn’t blessed with a beautiful tone, they would have given up on her. maybe her limbs would be rested and her eyes wouldn’t have shed so many tears. but if she didn’t have the music - how many wonderful things she would’ve missed? the joy of giving her all when singing is something she would never know. 

she likes to think she has a song for most of the years of her life. in 2009, she moved to the united states. hailey had to say goodbye to all her beloved memories from japan and face a new reality. and it was in 2009 that la roux released bulletproof. hailey adopted the song and used to sang here and there as the silly teenager she was. she was seen as a strange kid in high school, even though people ended up liking her. and she remembers singing that song in her first talent show. hailey remembers sitting awkwardly in the tiny chair and having the mic shaking on her hands. 

now, she was singing to a camera while her fingers worked on the guitar. a peaceful smile was on her face rather than a frozen expression from her nervousness. her shoulders were relaxed and her voice came easily to her. hailey finishes recording a few times so she can have her editing later and sighs contently when the screen fades to black. the scenario is shown again and hailey’s still with her guitar in hands when she greets her viewers.

it’s been a while since she last made a cover for her youtube channel. it makes her feel both sorry and excited. she loved being a trainee, but she surely needed to give up on some things to be able to do some things to make sure she can survive - like giving up on making videos to make sure she could sleep. the royal entertainment building became her second home and she spent much more time there than in her apartment. another exciting thing - it’s the first video she would be recording at her apartment with naeun. for the other ones, even though she was already living there, she went to her parents’ house to record. however, the production this time was quite simple: she would be using most of the original song, just adding her touches of guitar here and there. 

the video shows the girls’ couch and a smiling hailey. there’s her huge microphone before her and as soon as the song starts, her expression changes. it’s an emotional song - someone with doubts. she loved the harmony and the feel of the song. it’s no secret that hailey liked ballads and this one seemed perfect. it reminded her of aiden, even if she doesn’t want to. she wonders if one day she will be able to go through life without memories of him haunting her. aiden was her medicine but at the same time, he made her sick on her soul. 

the song brought her to the time he was already lost in drugs and she didn’t know exactly how he would act towards her. sometimes he was the same - her loving, funny aiden. and then, sometimes, hailey couldn’t see who he was. not even his eyes were the same. and she would give up. sometimes, she wonders if she should’ve fought harder. she confessed that to her mother-in-law last time she was in the united states and she told hailey what she should’ve known: there was nothing she could’ve done. he wouldn’t let anyone help him. her guilt was little after so many time, but she had never vanished. 

she ends the song with a sigh and a smile. hailey’s back to her usual self. she was never the one to talk openly about her feelings. she lets the songs talk for her - and she’s satisfied with that. she puts her guitar away and adjusts the microphone before talking. 

hailey loved making youtube videos. ever since she started the channel, when she was still in the usa, hailey had never stopped. and she loved thinking about it, thinking about songs to cover. of course, her skills were limited. for once, she couldn’t rap. well, at least she couldn’t rap decently. and god forbid she had a bad content for her subscribers. that’s why hailey was always looking for new people to show their talents in front of her camera. today, she had invited gayeon. amazing rapper as she was, she would really add to her performance. hailey decided that it was better for them to record in her parents’ house than in her crowded apartment. the brunette told nina that she was out to record a video while her friend had errands to run herself.

the singer welcomed the other girl, pulling her to her music room. instruments laid everywhere, but today, hailey had decided that she was going to use the original instrumental for the cover. with the lyrics on hands, hailey divided them so every girl would know what to do. rehearsals stole laughs from her lips as she would go out of key or gayeon would forget the lyrics. after some time, they decided they were good to go and hailey turned on the camera to start recording.

the camera showed two girls in the usual setting of hailey’s videos. a guitar and a piano were laying on the background unusually, since they were always on her hands. a bright smile was on her lips as hailey looked to the camera, ready to introduce her friend. “hi guys, this is hailey! today i invited someone special to record with me” she then put her arm around the other girl and squeezed her, the smile never fading from her lips. “meet the amazing gayeon! she’s a great rapper and she’ll make amazing rappers for our cover of u-kiss’s mysterious lady. don’t miss it, keep watching!”

the image changed and the instrumental started, hailey husky voice coming right after, a contrast to the original singer’s high-pitched voice. gayeon’s voice sounded right after her, picking up the pace to start singing her part. while the other girl was rapping, hailey kept nodding in the rhythm, her expression following the lyrics, smiling and then making a cold face. surprise took her face for some time and then she put her hand in her heart, preparing to sing her next part.

알쏭달쏭한 그대란 사람은 깊은 바닷속 (so so 아리송해 baby) 보일 듯 말 듯 한 그대 속은 나를 애타게 하지 그대 뭘 망설이고 있나요 그냥 솔직히 말해줘요 그대 역시 나와 같다는 걸

hailey sang, her tone going higher as the song required. she laid her head on gayeon’s shoulder for some time, but then got up and made a frustrated expression, bringing her hand to her head. she looked like she couldn’t really understand gayeon and it was driving her upset. at the end, she pointed at the other girl and then at herself, like she was telling her to confess her feelings.

mysterious lady, so mysterious lady (so mysterious) 알다가도 모르겠어 그대 속을 mysterious lady, so mysterious lady (so mysterious) 솔직하게 그대 맘을 보여줘요 baby 있는 그대로 맘이 원하는 대로우리 솔직해져요 서로 괜한 시간 낭비하지 마요 그대가 느낀 대로 맘이 전하는 대로 내숭 떠는 여자들과는 다르단 걸 믿어요

hailey sang the chorus with her expression going from dreamy when singing mysterious lady and growing confused and confused in the next parts. she touched gayeon’s arm while singing, hand in her chest as she poured emotion to the song. while she was finishing the chorus, it was gayeon’s turn to sing again. not changing a bit and with no shame at all, hailey kept her theatrical performance. she even started moving her torso in some weird dance that made her smile at her own silliness. the song came to the bridge and chorus again, and hailey sang in the same soulful way she was doing. sometimes she would point at gayeon, as she was asking her why she was being like this.

미지근한 사이 친구보단 가깝지만 연인은 아닌 어정쩡한 우리 둘 이것도 저것도 아닌 이제 거릴 좁혀요 그대 닫힌 맘에 문을 열어요 우리 둘만의 무대로 떠나요

mysterious lady, so mysterious lady (so mysterious) 알다가도 모르겠어 그대 속을 mysterious lady, so mysterious lady (so mysterious)솔직하게 그대 맘을 보여줘요 baby 있는 그대로 맘이 원하는 대로 우리 솔직해져요 서로괜한 시간 낭비하지 마요 그대가 느낀 대로 맘이 전하는 대로 내숭 떠는 여자들과는 다르단 걸 믿어요