#gyusfault

You had spent the entire afternoon at this cozy coffee shop across the town, catching up with some people you hadn’t seen in far too long. Some you knew from your school days, a few you met at this language course you’ve been taking over the past year, and others were simply friends of friends. Heeseung was one of the latter - a friend of a friend.

You’d hung out only a handful of times, and always surrounded by your mutual friends, but those few instances were enough to make you feel comfortable around each other. Well, you had to admit, it was difficult not to feel comfortable around someone as warm-hearted as Heeseung.

Around his friends, he was silly - always the first one to offer a witty comment or make the room burst into laughter with his intentionally bad jokes. But his soul also carried a rather gentle side. You could see it in the way his eyes would crinkle ever so slightly when he saw a cute dog run by, the way he would be the first one to stand when an elderly couple got onto the bus, or the way he wordlessly held the door open for you - just like he did mere seconds ago.

The coffee shop had smelled like burnt espresso and something sweet you couldn’t quite place your finger on. Cinnamon, maybe – the kind of scent that clung to your clothes even after you had stepped outside into the cool air. In spite of your jacket pulled up beneath your chin, you could feel the chill in the nightly breeze as you stepped onto the sidewalk. Winter was long over, but evenings like this made it seem like spring hadn’t quite arrived just yet.

“I’ll see you next week then,” your friend uttered into your ear as you embraced each other one more time, referring to your shared Tuesday evening class. They, too, then turned their back to you before joining the others, who had already put a few meters of distance between themselves and the now empty coffee shop to your left. A few more waves were shared, your friends’ laughter trailing behind them as they wandered down the street, before you turned towards the other person left on the sidewalk with you.

Heeseung’s gaze had already settled on your smaller figure, his hands stuffed into the pockets of his jean jacket in an attempt to keep warm. You mirrored his gaze for a moment, mustering his face. His sharp features were softened by the warm light of the street lamp beside you, illuminating his expression just enough for you to take note of the expectant look he was regarding you with.

Offering him a small smile, you mirrored his stance by shoving your hands into the pockets of your coat as well. He must’ve taken note of your action as he let out a small chuckle, glancing down briefly before meeting your eyes again, a familiar and benign shimmer in his brown orbs. “Let’s go then,” he started, “before you miss your bus.”

You nodded, humming in agreement, and taking a few steps in the opposite direction of your friends, who had now fully left your earshot. Heeseung comfortably fell into step beside you, the quiet crunch of your shoes against the pavement the only sound emitting from the pair of you for a moment - though it was barely loud enough to cover the occasional humming of cars rushing past only a few streets away.

Streetlights flickered overhead, their uneven glow painting patches on the otherwise dark sidewalk, while every other window you passed by lit up the right side of your face gently. On your left, Heeseung matched your pace, walking leisurely between yourself and the empty street.

Your shoulders were far from touching, yet his stride left him just close enough to glance at your face every now and then and make out the content expression you carried. It was as if this space between you had been measured long ago and found to be just right.

Small comments drifted between the two of you, light and for the most part unimportant. “The new coffee shop down that road”--you let out, gesturing vaguely toward an alleyway on the other side of the street as you were walking past it–”apparently has some of the best matcha lattes in town.” Your voice was barely loud enough to float over the night air, yet the man next to you caught your words with ease.

He tilted his head slightly, his gaze following your gesture as he let out a low hum to showcase his intrigue. “Maybe we should try it sometime,” he murmured, his voice casual, and his eyes not daring to lock with yours, instead finding the geometrical pattern of the sidewalk in front of him a more interesting sight.

The action made you subconsciously interpret his words as a mere passing suggestion, brushing it off as a comment made simply out of kindness. Your eyes remained on his figure for barely a second more before drifting back onto the street in front of you.

“We’ll see if we can even get a table.” Chuckling lightly, you adjusted the strap of your bag. Your voice drifted off slightly, your following comment being more of a spoken thought rather than fuel to a fruitful conversation: “I’ve heard it’s always packed…” Out of the corner of your eye you could make out Heeseung nodding. Quiet, but attentive.

Although the boy was ever so jolly when surrounded by his friends, whenever it was just the two of you Heeseung seemed rather reserved - though more so in his words than his actions. When you threw out small comments like you did just now, he always made sure to let you know he was listening. Interested hums or nods of agreement appeared almost intuitively.

Many of his movements seemed instinctive - so casual, that you didn’t even take note of them in a conscious manner. Like the way he subtly shifted closer to the edge of the sidewalk as you were bidding farewell to your friends to ensure he would be shielding you from where the pavement met the road on your short walk to the bus stop.

Rounding the corner onto a slightly busier street, your gaze caught the illuminated sign of the bus stop, now only a few meters away. A modest metal bench, its blue paint chipped at the corners, sat underneath the dimly glowing sign as it was flickering slightly against the backdrop of the dark buildings behind it.

Your steps slowly came to a halt, Heeseung still standing between you and the wide street, fishing his phone out of his back pocket. He took a glance at the time as his bright phone screen caused his eyes to narrow slightly.

“Your bus should be here any minute now,” he voiced before raising his gaze to meet yours, his phone screen fading into darkness as he lowered his hand. You turned your body slightly, searching for an electronic timetable just below the bright sign, but being disappointed in your search. It seemed that this part of town hadn’t gotten a taste of the new and convenient bus stop electronics. So, you angled your body back towards Heeseung.

“Yours is only a few minutes after mine, right?” you recalled the conversation you had at the coffee shop earlier. You were met with a nod as Heeseung shot you a small smile, his lips pursing during the action. A shiver ran down your spine, though you weren’t sure if it was from the cool breeze or the way you felt bad for letting him wait for his bus all on his own. “Are you sure? I mean, you don’t have to wait with me if there’s another bus you–”

He interrupted your words gently by shaking his head with underlying confidence. “It’s fine. Really, I don’t mind,” he reassured you, his tone light, like this was the easiest decision he ever had to make. His posture relaxed, his hands slipping back into the pockets of his jacket as he kept his gaze on your features.

A frown appeared on your face, unhappy with the situation but without a plausible way of changing it. You knew he would be fine - the wait for his bus was barely five minutes long - but you still couldn’t shake the uncomfortable feeling in your stomach.

With a pensive look your eyes flickered to the road behind Heeseung, before being dragged back to his features when a low chuckle escaped him. “You’re not leaving me behind,” he replied unassumingly to the thoughts you hadn’t even voiced yet. He did this often - keeping his steady gaze on you as your thoughts wandered off, your mind too busy to notice his attentive stance. His reaction always seemed so effortless, accompanied by a genuine smile or a small laugh, leaving a soothing feeling in your chest.

A small smile tugged at your lips as this reassuring feeling washed up in you once more, though you didn’t have much time to take it in. The distant roar of an approaching engine grew louder and louder by the second, the headlights of the bus causing harsh shadows to fall behind the pair of you.

“Text me when you get home?” You pulled up the strap of your bag once more, keeping your eyes on Heeseung as you took a step towards the edge of the sidewalk. The man nodded, his eyes briefly looking you up and down before returning to your expectant orbs. “Yeah.” His gaze remained steady, a look in his eyes that you could not read. “You too.”

The bus rolled up to the curb beside you, its doors unfolding with a mechanical sigh. Yet you lingered for just a second longer, taking in Heeseung’s familiar stance in front of you - hands in his pockets, his shoulders relaxed, head slightly bowed, and his eyes still set on you. There was something in the way he stood, something so unwavering and natural, that made you feel unusually safe for no reason at all.

Tearing your gaze from him you turned around, stepped onto the bus, and made your way down the aisle. The bus was almost empty, plenty of seats still up for the taking, yet your pursuit of a perfect space was cut short when the vehicle pulled off with a quick jerk. Falling into the first best seat, you barely caught Heeseung’s figure still standing on the sidewalk before quickly losing sight of him.

Heeseung stayed where you had left him, the faint yellow glow of the streetlamps illuminating his surroundings. He didn’t dare to move until your bus was completely out of sight, until it turned a corner and its red taillights were gone behind some dark building. Then, and only then did he turn and begin walking back the way you two had come - around the corner and toward the now quiet stretch of road that your friends had wandered down earlier.

He wasn’t planning on taking the next bus. In fact, he lived on the opposite side of the town from you, just a few blocks away from that dainty coffee shop. It was quicker for him to just walk home.

But you didn’t need to know that.

Shoes were scattered near the door, jackets draped over the ottoman in the foyer after the coat rack had seemingly run out of space. Your jacket had joined the pile, the warm air inside the house a testament of how many people were currently lounging around the home. It was spring now, so your thin windbreaker wasn’t doing much to keep you warm, and yet it felt bothersome to wear around the house.

You hadn’t even rounded the corner to the living room fully as you were already pulled into a hug. “Why didn’t you tell me you were coming?” There was no need to see her face - the waft of vanilla paired with her thick blond curls gave her identity away immediately. Giggling softly, you put your arms around your longtime friend. “It was quite spontaneous, I’m sorry.”

Just a few hours ago, you had no idea this get-together was even taking place. You were neatly folding your laundry as a text from Jay lit up your phone - you went to school together, after which he went off to study law at some university whose name you could never remember. He had finished his exams recently and decided to hold a small gathering with some fellow students to celebrate their hard work.

It was meant to be nothing major. Just some friends, good music, delicious food and possibly some silly card games. Though his message did read ‘Feel free to bring some friends along (as long as they’re cool),’ hence the house was now filled with plenty of people you couldn’t recognize.

In search of more familiar faces, you gazed around the room, opting for a kind smile and two-handed waves instead of hugs. “Come on, Mira is here, too!” The blonde girl pulled you along towards the kitchen, where you immediately spotted a few of your closer friends, causing you to let out a sigh of relief. You weren’t exactly extroverted, so if they hadn’t promised you to be here tonight you probably wouldn't have shown up.

Rounding the corner fully to step into the dining area, which was adjacent to the kitchen, your eyes fell on the side table sitting against the wall. Instead of the usual season-specific decorations, it was covered in heaps of snacks. Bowls of chips sat half-empty, bright packaging had been crinkled and torn open, candy scattered around by seemingly careless hands. Some sweets were left unopened, stacked up as neatly as possible, like someone had just put them there mere minutes ago.

You glanced at the colourful display once, instinctively, then looked away just as quickly before drifting into the open kitchen. It wasn’t disappointment so much as resignation, just quiet acceptance paired with the usual thought of ‘Good thing I ate before coming here.’

With all of your allergies and intolerances, you’d never been able to indulge in any snacks laying around at get-togethers or events. Sure, it was a hassle, yet you’ve gotten used to it over the years - so much so that your thoughts barely stayed with the plethora of sweets for more than two seconds.

You joined the group of familiar faces, leaning against the counter behind you as their animated chatter filled up your ears. For a moment though, you were more interested in scanning your surroundings some more rather than participating in their conversation about unfair workload distribution.

Thanks to the modern floorplan of the home, the kitchen opened up into the dining area, which in turn was separated from the much bigger living room only by a half wall. This left you with a perfect view of the hustle and bustle around the lower level. Sometimes, you envied your friend for living in such a lovely home - other times, you were thankful you didn’t have to pay their heating bills. You didn’t even want to know how expensive they must be.

From where you stood, you weren’t just left with a perfect view of the girls sifting through polaroids on the dining table, but also of a group of boys lounging on the large grey couch. It wasn’t very hard to miss them actually, as their laughter and antics filled the slightly stuffy air. You recognized some of them from school, like Jay and Jake … others you’d only met once, maybe twice. Your gaze flickered over their bright faces before settling on another familiar person amidst the group, Heeseung.

He was sprawled out across the far end of the sofa, legs stretched out as much as possible with the low coffee table sitting in the middle of the seating area. Leaning into the backrest, he was enthusiastically clapping his hands while laughing at something - probably one of Jake’s silly jokes as the younger boy was gesturing wildly next to Heeseung.

It took him a bit to catch himself, moving to sit up a little straighter. He leaned his elbows on his knees as his gaze jumped from one friend to another. They seemed to be playing some kind of game, each of them saying something before moving onto the person to their right. There was no way for you to make out what they were going on and on about, so you quickly abandoned your curiosity about their game, your gaze refocusing on Heeseung.

You kept your eyes on him for a second longer than you meant to.

There was something so effortless about the way he took up space - natural, confident, loose. He was always like this, especially around his friends. Animated, silly in a way that never crossed into overwhelming, choosing intriguing giggles over loud roars when his energy peaked.

The sound of your name pulled you out of your thoughts, your gaze darting around the faces in front of you like they could spell out the question someone must’ve just asked you. “Huh?”

“I was asking about your part time job. Don’t you usually work on Saturdays?” Your eyes settled on Hannah, a rather short girl from your language course whom you’ve quickly formed a friendly bond with. “Oh, I changed my shift with my colleague. I’m working on Sunday this week instead.” You explained briefly.

The chat stayed on the topic of everyone’s Saturday plans for a while. Understandably - it was a Friday evening and, as far as you understood, this was an open-end get-together. You mentally thanked your past self for switching shifts with your colleague, as you could not imagine yourself up and ready to function at 8am tomorrow.

Your eyes drifted back over to the living room, searching for nothing in particular yet instantly noticing a missing presence in the room. The spot that Heeseung had lounged in mere seconds ago was now taken by a much younger guy you had only ever seen in passing. Scanning the room briefly, you expected to spot the boy you were mustering earlier somewhere nearby - on the other couch, maybe, or by the now open window. However, you quickly abandoned your search after being unable to catch sight of him.

You didn’t even know why you were looking for him, anyway.

A voice cut in beside you, and you shook off the thoughts occupying your mind, letting yourself drift into your friends’ animated conversation. Mira was mid-sentence, something about her cats’ catastrophic first vet visit last week. You hadn’t caught the beginning of the story, but her eager gestures drew you in nonetheless. Others continued to chime in, the noise swelling and overlapping voices filling the space between thoughts.

The conversation evolved from funny pet stories over current diseases going around to how each dog owner in your circle had been keeping their little ones warm throughout the winter. You didn’t have any pets yourself, but you were more than willing to react to your friends’ happenings and admire their furry friends. Maybe you should look into adopting a cat sometime soon.

“No, really - look! Isn’t she just adorable?” Hannah, who had gotten her puppy only a few months ago, turned her phone screen towards the group.

You leaned in as well, turning slightly to your right to peek at the device. Standing back up straight, you were about to comment on how cute her pet looked in her fluffy yellow sweater when a familiar figure suddenly appeared in your field of view.

Heeseung stood to your left, barely two steps away, eyeing you with his head tilted slightly, like he was debating whether or not to pull you out of your conversation. For a moment, your gaze flickered between your friends and his figure, quickly deeming him too intriguing to ignore for the sake of keeping up with your group’s exchange. Your interest was painted onto your face, eyebrows raised and chin slightly lifted as you mustered the tall boy.

You didn't even hear him approach over the upbeat music that was floating around the house. He stood there, his hair slightly dishevelled from whatever escapades he was just up to. As always, his posture remained relaxed with a veil of confidence, one hand behind his back, the other scratching his nose as his eye movement mirrored yours - fluttering over to his friends on the couch before finding you again.

Noticing your eyes on him, he shot you an almost sheepish look that disappeared prior to you even really noticing it, before taking a step closer to you. He kept about an arm's length of distance between your bodies, the same distance he always seemed to leave whenever he stood next to you. Like a higher force had told him that that was where he shall stand.

He now not only stood close enough for you to hear his voice over the noise surrounding you, but also close enough for the scent of his cologne to reach your nose. With your eyebrows still raised, you expected him to open his mouth, but he didn’t say a word. Instead, he lifted his arm that was previously hidden behind his back, holding three smaller bags of sweets out in front of him.

You blinked, surprised, as you eyed the coloured packages half-heartedly. A breath caught in your throat; an apology, an explanation already forming in your head. “ Oh. I–,” you started, lifting your eyes to Heeseung’s face. Your voice drifted off slightly at the sight of the warm yet expectant look on his features.

You were about to tell him off, already dreading the disappointed look on his face - or worse, the quiet frown he carries whenever something doesn’t quite go his way - when his voice interrupted your busy thoughts. “You can eat these,” he said gently, tone certain and steady, carrying the same warmth it always did when he spoke to you, “Don’t worry.”

The boy pursed his lips, his eyebrows raising now as he lifted the coloured bags a few inches higher. You looked down, observing the snacks he was trying to hand you. The packaging was all too familiar, brands you knew and always had stocked in your kitchen cupboard. The kinds you didn’t have to scrutinize or second-guess anymore.

As you stood there, slightly dumbfounded and with a million questions in your mind, your chest felt strangely tight. Like something had settled there without asking for permission, shoved aside whatever feelings were holding your heart captive before, and started spreading warmth throughout your body - the kind that made you feel seen without quite knowing why.

“Ah,” you said quietly, more to yourself than to Heeseung. A beat later, you added “Thank you.” A grateful yet timid smile appeared on your face as you looked up at the person across from you. Knowing someone went out of their way to make you feel more welcome, more comfortable, always left a bitter feeling in your mouth as much as it moved your heart.

As your eyes met Heeseung’s brown orbs again, you searched for any sign of bother, some kind of glimmer showing any discomfort. But he just smiled at you, unassuming, like he hadn’t just done something that mattered so much to you. His eyes held a content shimmer, almost as if handing you these bags of sweets was his one and only mission today.

He was always so kind, too kind for his own good, really. His peers must be really grateful to have such a thoughtful and selfless friend.

Your hands reached up, taking a hold of the three packages and slowly bringing them closer to your body. With too many thoughts in your head to try and decipher his emotions any further, you observed him straighten up slightly before taking a small step back.

He didn’t linger. Maybe a second or two to ensure the weight of the candy bags was fully out of his grasp. When you were about to ask him how he knew about your allergies, he was already halfway out of the kitchen, hand dragging along the edge of the countertop before finding its rightful place in his jean pocket.

Judging by the dazed look on your face, he assumed you hadn’t noticed him earlier.

How he had lingered by the snack table for what must’ve been ten minutes.

How he had picked up one bag after another, flipping them over, eyes narrowing slightly as he read each label carefully. Even the fine print. How he’d put some packages back, checked others again - once, twice - until he was sure.

But maybe it will come up in your next conversation.

⠀

💌⠀@akaania @en-chantedtomeetyou

In an attempt to convey your thoughts in a more sincere manner, you clasp your hands in front of your chin, staring at the TV screen on the wall for a second longer. The show you’d been watching was paused mid-frame, the characters frozen in an elaborate setting that had urged you to share your thoughts, which you were still busy gathering as you let your eyes dart across the room.

Heeseung was never one for interior design. Many corners in his home had been scarcely filled, many surfaces empty, many shelves either not decorated at all or loaded with random items he posited there once, just to forget about them - fully built Lego sets, a pair of sunglasses you’d never seen him wear, his three separate gaming keyboards … you name it.

Yet over time, with more and more friends setting foot in his four walls, the space became rather lived in. With various pillows scattered across the couch, wall shelves filled with small gifts and cherished memories, magazines strewn across the living room table, and a TV cabinet filled with different controllers and some sought after vintage games, Heeseung’s living quarters started to feel more and more homey.

Especially at times like these, after the sun had already set and the main source of light was the warm glow of the lamp standing in the corner, the room was filled with a cozy and serene atmosphere. The boy’s most recent prized possessions were some led strips, which were cleverly hidden behind the cabinets. Their colourful shine added at least a bit more life to the otherwise black and white interior of the room, which you appreciated more than you had first expected.

“Being an empress?” Your wandering gaze was pulled to the man sitting next to you as he let out a small chuckle along with his comment. “I think you were born a little too late for that.” His tone was warm, yet slightly sarcastic as his eyes met yours with an intrigued glance, his eyebrows raised ever so slightly.

Heeseung was sitting to your left, having settled comfortably on the rug next to you - however his focus seemed to be less on the paused TV show in front of you, and much more on your figure. He was turned sideways, his right arm resting on the couch cushions as one of his legs was folded beneath him, the other sprawled out to the side, causing half of it to disappear underneath the low coffee table.

The space between you was the same as always - maybe an arm’s length, your bodies not touching but not sitting on opposite sides of the carpet either. If you wanted to, you could easily reach up and place your hand on Heeseung’s shoulder - or move that one strand of hair out of his face that somehow kept falling over his eyes, no matter how often the boy brushed it back.

This wasn’t the first time that it was just the two of you hanging out in his space.

The first time you had entered his apartment, you were sandwiched between your friends, holding a few boxes of chinese takeout. Heeseung’s apartment wasn’t huge, yet his big and open living area offered just the right amount of space for late night group hangouts.

But as the weeks went by, these small get-togethers thinned out bit by bit. People started leaving earlier, or stopped showing up altogether. Plans made in the group chat shifted from ‘everyone’ to ‘just the few people who are available’, until the conversation eventually moved to Heeseung’s and your private chat altogether. Until it had become this - just you and him, spending lazy evenings on his couch, showing each other shows that one couldn’t believe the other hadn’t seen yet.

“No- That’s not what I mean.” Your gaze continued to roam around, exploring every crevice of the space around you like you had hidden your thoughts in there earlier and were now trying to dig them back up.

“Wearing such a beautiful Romantic or even Victorian gown, surrounded by the stunning architecture of a baroque palace.” You pointed towards the screen in front of you, which was displaying an extravagant frame focusing on two characters in the midst of a large, beautifully adorned hall. “Look, imagine waltzing around such a gorgeous ballroom, arm in arm with your loved one, your lavish dress flowing with your movements as you twirl and turn with such practiced ease-”

You let your voice fade out at the end of your sentence, leaning forward in fascination as you brought your knees down and opted to cross your legs in front of you instead. “I mean, there has to be a place that offers an experience like this, no? It has to exist - somewhere in Europe, surely.”

Turning your head, you look at Heeseung for an answer, knowing all too well that he wouldn’t be able to provide one. Still, you kept your big eyes set on his figure that was lounging comfortably against his couch. Heeseung always seemed the most at ease when he was in his own space, existing just like this - his figure clad in wide sweatpants, a simple T-shirt and a checkered flannel he had thrown on just moments before you had entered his apartment.

“I don’t know what you’re looking at me for,” Heeseung let out a giggle as he lifted both of his hands next to his head, clearly amused by your thought process, “I have no idea.” His eyes crinkled slightly as he moved them towards the TV, then back to you. You mirrored his actions, a small chuckle escaping your lips as you lean your back against the couch cushions once more.

Your breath caught in your throat as another thought rushed to the front of your mind, eager to escape. “You know, I love all the subtle juxtapositioning in this show,” you let out, gesturing vaguely toward the TV and then somewhere else entirely. “The way her life before and after the marriage is portrayed with such stark contrasts, so many metaphors… Like all the open fields and forests turn into enclosed, rigid spaces within the castle walls.”

Sometimes you surprised even yourself with how eloquent you were able to express yourself when speaking about something that intrigued you, that you had spent hours mulling over in your head out of awe or pure fascination. If you were with any other friend of yours, you would’ve kept these thoughts to yourself, afraid of boring them or stealing their precious time. But Heeseung always listened.

You could feel his gaze on you as your words tumbled over each other, excitement bubbling up inside of you. Animatedly, you brought your hands up to gesture at nothing in particular before resting them on your lap again, your eyes drifting around the room the way they always did when you were rambling about your favourite subjects. The messy bookshelf across the room, the window that mirrored back your own reflection, the chopsticks that laid disregarded on the coffee table. Anywhere but him.

Every now and then, Heeseung hummed softly in agreement, reminding you that he was still there, still listening attentively. His small sounds anchored you, reassured you that he didn’t mind your elaborate descriptions and interpretations.

You’ve always felt comfortable around Heeseung, his presence in your space oddly calming yet endearing at the same time - close, warm, and solid as he was sitting next to you like this, in a manner you had experienced a handful of times before. Sometimes he talked and you listened, sometimes you talked and he listened. Sometimes neither of you spoke, focusing on whatever show you were drawn to instead, or simply bathing in the pleasant silence.

You liked sitting here. Liked that he never rushed you or scrambled to fill every silence himself. Liked that you could just exist in each other’s spaces.

A cool draft slipped into the room through some small crevice, brushing against your skin. You couldn’t pinpoint where it had come from exactly, yet it caused a small shiver to run down your spine. Subconsciously, you tugged the sleeves of your thin sweater down over your hands as you continued your chatter, unfazed.

“It’s just so well done, so well thought-out, I could-”

Mid-sentence, your words stopped short as you noticed something warm settling over your lap, covering your crossed legs and your hands which were resting absently in your sleeves.

You blinked, momentarily confused as your gaze fell downwards. A checkered flannel enveloped your lower half gently, a flannel that seemed weirdly familiar to you.

Slowly, you lifted your gaze to the boy sitting next to you, mustering his figure. Heeseung’s arms were bare now, the flannel gone from where it had been draped around his shoulders earlier. You hadn’t heard him move, hadn’t noticed him taking it off, even, too engulfed in your own theories and thoughts about this TV show you so adore.

Blinking again, your gaze met his brown orbs, which were looking at you intently. Composed and with an underlying confidence, like he wasn’t trying to gauge your reaction. He just looked at you - eyes soft, mouth curved into the smallest smile, like he’d found something so amusing and captivating, he couldn’t tear his eyes from it even if he tried.

You let out a breath you didn’t even know you were holding. No matter how hard you tried to form a sensible remark, your brain was seemingly wiped clear of all thoughts, as all you could do was stare at the boy next to you, an unreadable expression on your face. The words you’d been so eager to share just seconds ago had slipped away, leaving only the weight of the flannel draped across your lap and the warmth of his attention engulfing you.

It’s not the action itself that stole all the words from the tip of your tongue. Heeseung had always been ever so thoughtful, had always treated you kindly - holding doors open for you, handing you your favourite snacks - these small, selfless efforts of his were nothing new.

It’s the way he did it - so instinctively, like it was the only plausible thing to do in that given moment, followed by the tranquil and satisfied look in his eyes as his gaze never left your figure. He moved with such certainty, like he had done this a million times before, when in reality this bordered a line you had yet to cross.

The room somehow felt smaller, as if the usually carefully measured space between you had quietly narrowed without your permission.You became acutely aware of how close he really was, of his woody scent that had always been floating around his apartment, yet was enveloping you from all sides now. Unable to tear your gaze from him, you could hear your heartbeat thrumming in your ears, almost scared that he would eventually hear it, too.

At your silence, Heeseung let out a gentle giggle, lifting one hand to gesture vaguely in your direction. “Go on,” he said, voice warm, encouraging. The gentle grin stayed on his lips, as if he hadn’t just knocked the air out of your lungs.

To be honest, the show itself had lost his attention somewhere around the second episode, but you hadn’t.

He had paid much more attention to your sometimes snarky, sometimes dreamy comments than to any remarks made by the characters on the screen. Even as you were sharing your anecdotes with him, he could barely recognise the scenes you were referring to.

Instead, he found much more interest in the way your face shifted as you spoke so animatedly, the way your brows drew together and your head tilted ever so slightly when you foraged for just the right words. The way your voice softened when you spoke about details that mattered most to you, your hand moving to cover your heart in order to express the sincere nature of your words.

His hums, his nods that he felt you weren’t even noticing, were all carefully timed as he made sure to not interrupt you mid-sentence. Vigilantly, his gaze stayed on your figure, never even drifting to the illuminated TV screen or his phone. He instantly noticed the shiver running through you, moving to rid himself of his flannel before he could question his actions.

There was no conscious decision behind it, no pause to weigh whether he should or shouldn’t. He just did.

And for the first time since you’d started talking, sitting there with your eyes locked and a thousand emotions swirling behind them, you had no idea what would happen next.

⠀

💌⠀@akaania @en-chantedtomeetyou @f-nari @faeriwonz @yjwluvs