#gymtim

I started this journey April 1st 2013 to win the prize. Now, I don't want to win it. I want to earn my own prize. Being able to be that girl I know I am. 

I get people already telling me from my check in at the gym: "You are only checking in because of the competition at work. I know you are going to stop the diet and exercise once April is done" 

Sad part is for the ones who doubt me, I know I won't. 

Back in May of 2012, I slowly started seeing myself hit the ground. Falling deeper into this depression. I couldn't find out what was bothering me, my friends, my boyfriend, my doctor, no one could figure out why I was feeling like the world had just shit on me and buried me 6 feet under. 

It literally took until April of this year, and me starting this weight loss thing to realize why I was unhappy. Because my body was unhappy. 

My body was trying to tell me that what I was doing wasn't working. I am not a big girl deep down. I am not a size 3X deep down. I am not that girl that has to angle herself in pictures deep down.  I am not that girl in the mirror that I see. 

I am a girl who loves showing off her body, and would love nothing else then to be at the beach in a two piece bikini without a towel knowing I am proud of who I am. The girl who can go up a flight of stairs without panting. Someone that is worthy of a healthy lifestyle. 

Some people may talk behind my back about this whole thing, that it is just a phase.