Lineup Lamentations - GW14
Our Transfers, Captains, and Starting 11s.
Thanks for the 1 point, Phil, it was nice while it lasted. Amending the nightmare that was Mane to Phil last week by shipping him straight out along with everyone else who plays this game. Lukaku was a good friend for a while and returned very nicely for me but clearly his ship has sailed given the current form Everton and he are showing. The choice was between Alexis and Kane and my rationale was outlined in detail on the pod. Chazzy has a great run of fixtures and it feels great to cover myself with him as he is the 3rd forward of choice among many teams. An insanely good fixture at Palace for his inaugural game in my side doesn't hurt after they shipped four set piece goals at Swansea I like Chazzy to get something this weekend.
GK: Fuckford as usual. As long as they don't concede a pen I have a maybe 25% feels of a clean sheet. They are still a little bit lightweight at the center of midfield but Leicester have been consistently shit for a while. I also continue to be amaze that my backup non-player Nordfeldt has not dropped in price since I bought him on WC a couple of months ago. He has been between 95 - 99% to drop every day for about that whole time. Stay strong Nordy.
DEF: Rolling out a trio of away boys this week. Holes, Van Dick, and Clyne will go for me. Fucks is on the bench and will be fucked off next week most likely (hopefully). If Holy Bass doesn't make it I'll get his 0 pointer off the bench so hopefully that doesn't occur. I am still patiently waiting for VVD to open his goalscoring account and there is no better team to face than Palace so perhaps this will be his time. I don't feel outstanding about the defense but I don't feel terrible. Hoping for an attacking return.
MID: My team value isn't happy about it but Gundogan has stuck with other more pressing issues and I will run him out against Chelsea this weekend. Signs point towards him returning to the first team so hopefully he gets a late Lampardesque goal or some lucky shit. Kill for some luck. My new Arsenal duo Alexis and Theo will get a run out against an abject West Ham side. No Cresswell or Antonio bodes well for attacking returns - I am expecting some big points out of them this weekend. Finally, Firmino goes at the Cherries. A truly great fixture as they will not park the bus and it seems like Bobby will feature as usual after getting in a full training session.
FWD: The first shake up I've given the front three in a while with my removal of Lukaku. Kun, Chaz, and Costa will hopefully bang in some points for me. I'll be snoozing through that early 4:30 am (LA time) City v Chelsea game but will anxiously open my eyes to check the score on my phone hoping for a goalfest somewhere around 6:30. I am similarly hoping for a goalfest in the Soton v Palace game....as I have fantasy implications for Soton but real life implications for Palace. Unfortunately though I think we'll get done again. If it does happen as such, hopefully Chazzy baby gets a haul.
Alexis. There is no question about it as a non-Kane owner. As has been his M.O., Alexis tends to rattle off massive hauls in succession and hopefully he will be able to destroy the Hammers at their new ground. Dodging a Kane haul is the most important thing of the weekend but even if he does come in all I need to do is come reasonably close to matching the point total with Alexis to get away with it. Here's to hoping. Welcome to the squad Sexy Alexi...treat me with some points. I sure could use it after back to back captaincy blanks.
I bit the bullet and took my first hit of the season. But who am I kidding with ‘bit the bullet’?? It felt and feels amazing. It’s a rush plain and simple.
Ozil has very much overstayed his welcome in my weekly teamsheets. Bug-eyes has been well underperforming for his high standard, and well underperforming for the fourth most expensive mid in the game. Feels great to fuck him off for the much better Arsenal option in sexy Alexi.
Cout out for Siggy is the obvious move of the week as we all mourn Philippe. I spoke about Siggy and his fixtures on the pod but again, while it’s annoying that Swans have Spurs this weekend, after that Siggy is (home fixtures in caps): SUN, wba, mid, WHU, BOU, cpl. YUMMY!!!!!
GK: Maybe my dramatic send-off/salute to Lee Grant on the pod was a week or two early because Hughesy has confirmed that Lee goes again this week home to shit ass Burnley and I’m overjoyed. I like Butland, I really do, he’s awesome and young and exciting....... But...... Wouldn’t be mad at another setback...... sorry lad...... FPL things......
DEF: Been a pretty steady three for me in defense for a while, but I’m going to try and shake it up after this week for either Alonso or a Southampton lad depending on who I drop. But again I’m going with Koscielny, Holebas, Matip. Doesn’t feel good to have all three away from home and also Holes and Matip are both flagged. They should be fine though if either of them don’t play I’m fucked with Kolarov vs Chelsea and Amat vs Spurs. Ew.
Little side note - Holes might sneakily need to get fucked off soon. Watford’ve been playing a lot of four-at-the-back lately instead of Holes at wingback which is why we all got him in the first place. Something to monitor but always good to be ahead of the curve. He’s done well for us.
MID: Two new friends always feels fantastic. Especially when they are little “Wonder Boy” Alexis and the “Ice Man” Siggy. Good god those nicknames are terrible. But they’re not terrible, far from it. I’m doubling up on Walsh’s above sentiments with my thoughts on Arsenal vs. a West Ham side lacking Cresswell and Antonio. Let’s run up the score GOONAS and Alexi mostly :)... Siggy will just keep steadily ticking for a while and I’m happy to have him.
Rounding out the quartet I’m obviously still happy to be a Firmino owner. I did a little stats post about Firmino with and without Coutinho, small sample size but still nice reenforcement, and TLDR - I’m not worried about his FPL production at all. At Bournemouth is also the dream matchup for this ‘Pool side who have been playing against buses for the last month. Time to open up that pit. Last and by far the least is Gundo. He will be fucked off soon, but for now just hoping and praying he bites people in the ass with a return.
FWD: Same as Walsh now, we’re friends, we can dong together. Kun, Costa, Chazzzzzz. So no Kane and no Ibra - they’re the two arch-nemeses for the coming weeks. Have to just hope and pray that Kun/Costa can fend them off as well as our captain picks. Chaz is still priced ridiculously low and he’s the best bargain in the game. His stats are incredible, team is great, fixtures are beyond great. He’s a mega steal and you will not convince me otherwise!
Also Alexis. Wow Walsh we should start a pod together or something!!! Jokes aside, Giroud is out confirmed so my fears of Alexis going back to winger are allayed for another GW, and West Ham are fucking shit. Hammers were good last year, but don’t forget, their defense was still a nightmare. They just scored a fucking million goals. This year their attack is meh, average at best, but defense hasn’t really changed much. Bilic is doing everything he can but they didn’t buy any defenders and are just bad. Add to that no Cresswell and no Antonio and Arsenal could run riot.
Lastly as much as it feels warm and cozy to captain a player at home, I’m starting lately to get a bit more al dente for the away captains because of the multitude of buses in this league. I feel more confident in Arsenal and Liverpool each scoring 3+ this weekend then I would if you swapped the fixtures to home. Is that crazy? Maybe. Am I crazy? 100% yes.
