#gv146

The documentary was an eye opener to me as I have not met or seen anyone intersex personally. It could have been because it was not something that people spoke about openly from where I come from or maybe there weren’t any intersex person around me, I don’t know.

The documentary showed the plights that intersex individuals go through. I think it’s a very difficult decision to make, to choose one sex/gender identity from another in the society we live in. They had to go through so much physical and mental trauma growing up just because their biological self did not conform to society’s ideals. A lot of them thought it was unfair for their parents and the doctors to have made decisions to alter their bodies without their permission. I agree to this. But society puts pressure on the parents to pick a side, conceal the fact, and put on a façade that their children were no different than the others. Probably the parents thought that all problem will end if they did this while the child was young and their children can have a “normal” childhood. Unfortunately, that’s not the case. A lot of them seem to change their gender identity to the opposite sex once they learn that they are intersex. This could be a sign of rebellion or maybe they just felt like exploring and learning what’s best for them. I kind of agree with the idea that the parents can bring up the child with any gender assigned to them, but don’t make any physical changes to their body. Let the child make the decision themselves. I think that’s fair.

The second plenary showed me the role women play when it comes to religion. I do not belong to any of the religions represented by the three wonderful women at the plenary. It was the first time I was introduced to women leaders in these religions. Before this, I had always thought that leaders in the ‘religions of the book’ were mainly male. Personally, I have never met nor seen a female person in these roles.

Atiya Aftab’s words in particular resonated with me. I come from Malaysia, a Muslim country. Personally, I find that Muslim women in Malaysia do not look as though they are being oppressed by their religion. I have Muslim friends who practice their religion and at the same time go on to do whatever they feel like doing, anything that betters their lives, whether it’s education or sports, with or without their hijab. They do not seem to think that their religion is a barrier to their dreams. The funny thing is, the media always seems to tell me otherwise. Growing up, I never associated Muslims with terrorism. I have never associated Muslims with opression. So, I could relate to what Atiya was saying about the idea that women in Islam are often thought as being oppressed but in reality the religion itself does not say so. It is more to how the culture of the area creates such mindset but somehow the stereotype never fails to transcend across society around the world. A lot of people seem to think Muslim women are always beneath their male counterparts and are not as independent. You will know the height of the falseness in the statement if you’ve ever met a Muslim woman.

Rabbi Esther Reed and Dr Traci West have shown me that women can also be a “voice” in a religious institution. I am not familiar with Judaism, I never knew what a Rabbi was and what roles they play. Rabbi Esther Reed’s experience seem to be similar with the experiences of many women who take up leadership position which includes earning the respect they deserve and taking them seriously for the work they do. Women are often only taken for their face value and physical attributes, and I was astonished that this also happens to a religious leader. I agree with Dr. Traci West’s statement of how religion sometimes reinstates certain stereotypes whether it’s against women or the LGBTQ. I believe that this stereotypes that are based on religion are socially constructed and I do not believe that a religion encourages any form of oppression or discrimination. I am Hindu and I relate this to the caste system. I believe it is socially constructed as a system to maintain social order.

Caitlyn Kenney’s journey to where she is now, and about the things she does with her job was fascinating to me. Personally, I was never acquainted with the entire business of podcasting and telling stories for a living. It was all new to me, Kenney’s job and the things she does.

I could relate to Kenney’s idea of ‘not knowing what she is doing’.Most of the time I just play along with what’s happening at the moment and leave everything to happen with the course of my momentary actions. However, I don’t believe entirely that she doesn’t actually know what she’s doing. She must know something, or else she wouldn’t have gotten this far. Women in particular, do this act of undermining their capabilities a lot. This reminds me of Kenney’s “impostor syndrome” incident. Why do women, including myself, feel like we don’t deserve what we have or achieve? There are always moments of self doubt, especially in women who are in positions normally filled by men. It’ s as though our being there must have been a mistake. This reminds me of the apology reflex article that we discussed in class.

I was always known as “the quiet one”. I used to get complimented for this quality. My mother was happy with these compliments. It’s almost as though it was a good thing to be, to not speak.

I remember, when I was younger, my mother would time and again tell me to not talk. I remember knowing so much, but was not able to say it out loud. It was always “Don’t speak. You know nothing”. On the contrary, my brother who was younger than me, never had to hear these words from my mother. It wasn’t because he never spoke, he spoke a lot more then me. But, whenever he does it, my mother nods with agreement that she was wrong and in addition to that used to brim with pride of her son’s unmatching expertise on buying a light bulb. Even though I was right, It was always his word that decides.

I used to wonder, did I actually know nothing, or was it because I was a female. I was made to believe that I was not smart enough, that my opinion never mattered and that I should not say what I believed in. I was conditioned to be the quiet one. Now, I see this attribute as nothing to be proud of.

We always wonder why women don’t speak as much as men do. Yes, the patriarchal society we live in has a lot to do with it, obviously. But it was also how women don’t allow other women to speak. In my house, being obedient and silent is something to be proud of. It seems, that women like us are going extinct. Women who would listen to their dads and brothers and husbands.

Women never used to speak for the sole reason that they were women. They feared that people will laugh at them. They fear that their voice will go unheard. They fear the embarassment that they might face. But today, women have come along way from that and have been giving powerful speeches all around the world and creating revolutionary ideas. And yet, we have mothers around the world that condition their daughters to not be like these women. They want their daughters to be “good”. Silence is something that is overrated in my opinion. Too much of it is just plain poison. I know that the only one who will speak for me is myself. It is definitely difficult to break a habit, but it will be a habit that is worth breaking.