#guccicologne

That said, the song in my rotation that makes me think of Yamato the most is Big Blue by Vampire Weekend. It's only one stanza, repeated over and over, about being tired and hurt and without a home, and feeling suddenly accepted and dare I say embraced? But being worried that this is only temporary, and that ultimately the narrator is still on their own.

Every once and a while, I'm seized by the desire to make a music + art post, like homestucks used to back in the day on this site, where the first introduction of the stanza is when the child who will become kinoe, first uses his mokuton in fear and desperationm and it saves him. Second repetition of the stanza is while he's in Root. Third repetition is when he's in the Hokage's anbu. Fourth and final repetition is when he's in the infinite Tsukuyomi. Hell on earth and malice.

But, like I said, vampire weekend isn't all that good. U may enjoy this one more: It Will Come Back by Hozier for when I'm feeling Aggrieved by the Miseries and Torments.

The way that the narrator of this song explicitly dehumanizes themself, calling themself "it" in wicked combination with euphamisms directly comparing themselves to like, a wretched animal...calling themself literally a thing...the way that the narrator is begging not to be shown kindness, or affection, because the narrator understands that if kindness or compassion becomes a part of their expectation for the world, everything the narrator understands will fall to pieces.

i know who i am when i'm alone i'm something else when i see you you don't understand, you should never know how easy you are to need

don't let me in with no intention to keep me jesus christ, don't be kind to me honey, don't feed me, i will come back

Yeah, like, part of it is the fear that if the narrator is treated like a human being, the narrator won't be able to live in the way that they might have previously, treating themself like something less than human, undeserving of basic decency.

but also, the narrator is pleading with somebody who obviously is intending to show them kindness in the first place, so what they're really begging for, beneath all the misery and self-disgust, is for the person they're pleading with to mean it, to really feel compassion for them, for this not to be a temporary amusement but something that the narrator can honest-to-god hold onto. Ough. Yeah. Alright. The repression of one's basic human dignity and yet the desperation for love + acceptance is a very yamato thing in my head...