Mask

535 words

The white and blue checkered floor was, probably unsurprisingly, just on the edge of uncomfortably cool to the touch as Guaxinim sat there, but it was almost inviting at the same time.

The room around him was entirely silent and it felt just a bit too big, as he sat with crossed legs and his head tilted forward, forehead pressed against the photo of Pac and eyes closed in content.

He imagined the photo was the actual person then, one arm around him tight and comforting in a hug, the other raised to pet Guaxi's hair and almost cradling his head.

Silent tears fell, not from any one thing in particular, as he sat with his head against the portrait and let the lack of a person embrace him.

"Mininim?"

And when Guaxi turned his body to the side and opened his eyes, there at the entrance stood the person this memorial was made for, when the residents were left with more questions than answers.

"What's going on, Xinim, tudo bem?"

Pac stood against a background of the nature surrounding them, signature hoodie tied around his waist, sections of ribs visible a few inches above, one arm fully bare and bone, one with sections of muscle hanging on by determination and lack of acceptance, entirely bare face and empty eye sockets watching the other carefully with a small head tilt.

He wiped the small lines of tears with the back of a hand, uncrossed his legs, and met the blue clad man in the middle of the room.

"Tudo bem, mininim, it's nothing."

When Guaxi met Pac, he wrapped a hand around the forearm that was mostly muscle, letting the other lean into his side slightly, holding him for support to walk to where it was a bit more comfortable.

The decaying man lifted the hand that wasn't at his side and pressed against the other as they limped forward, brushing against Guaxinim's still damp cheekbone curiously and carefully.

"It does not feel like 'nothing.'"

And when they were finally sitting, was when Guaxi let himself break.

And it was just his imagination, it was not just a picture.

It was the real and true Pac.

Holding him with one around his back in a hug and the other raised to cradle his head, shushing softly into his hair.

"Matt is gone. Fun is gone. Araldo is back. Quel could be the next. Gris could be the next. You are almost the next."

And he could feel Pac open his mouth, then close it, because he could not disagree with any of it.

"Aún no."

"Qué?"

"All of the, the, the 'next's' have not happened yet."

"Mas eles poderiam, alguns deles até já o fizeram."

"Mas eles também não conseguiram."

"And what about you, mininim?"

"I am not gone yet."

Pac lifted his body back slightly, not letting go, just enough for the other to look at his face.

"And when will you be?"

Xinim let a tear drip to the pair of their hands resting between laps, Pac squeezed it gently, his own voice beginning to crack.

"Until you're ready to let go."

We know that cell, guaxi, and jv knew each other before the events of fuga. How they knew each other isn’t really known, guaxinim gives conflicting information on his relationships with jv and cell. Jv says guaxi is someone he really trusts, only for guaxi to say when he first meets tazercraft that he didn’t know jv that well. In the same conversation guaxi says that he never really liked cell but after their conversation when cell was in solitary, as they’re leaving guaxi says “eu adoro ele” which is like “I adore him” / “I love him” but it is safe to say they knew each other beforehand.

Cell and guaxinim’s relationship is kinda sort of implied to be some toxic relationship type shit, guaxinim even responding to a tweet about stealthduo being queer so it’s safe to assume something was going on (all silly btw, you don’t have to think they had some sort of romantic relationship but I do so that’s kinda why I’m talking about it).

As most know, cell gets left behind by guaxi, pac, and mike with a trap made by guaxi. It’s sort of humorous how easily cell falls for the trap, he knows guaxinim is fairly good at red stone or what translates to real life engineering, to me it’s him assuming that guaxinim wouldn’t trap him or something like that. My point is, at some point they were probably close and guaxinim had to have assumed that cell was dead based on the gun shot plus in fuga 2 someone tells pac something along the lines of “we couldn’t find the body” so implying f!cell had killed himself and for some reason his body was gone.

Daybreak

Angst

475 words

Guaxinim watched as the colors of the sky change from navy to ombré to peach through the window of Pac's house, legs crossed and sat on the other's bed, the sun finally peeking over the horizon just enough for it to be considered technically morning.

If this was the only way to see him, for however long it may be, then damn it he would make it count.

The thin clouds from the night before were just beginning to clear, the rose gold sky truly beginning to show, when the first line of saline trailed his face.

He wiped under his eyes time and time again, but to no avail, only succeeded in making the ends of ocean blue fabric that normally just about completely covered Pac's hands but sat at Guaxi's wrist level wetter.

His eyes stung as the beginning to slow but still oncoming tears hung onto his waterlines, the skin under them starting to become raw, when there were small but noticeable footsteps on the other side of the house.

And then there was the sound of someone struggling to turn the doorknob, and as it turns out, the reason was because they had to stand on tiptoes to open it, and in walked a boy with black shorts, a light blue tee shirt, and a just slightly too big light blue hat.

"Oh. Oi, Milo."

The boy waved, small and shy, dry cheeks but his eyes were slightly too red.

And what else was Guaxi to do besides open his arms lightly in invitation?

He ran across the room and to the bed and practically barreled into the adult, hopping up the side and tucking himself into Guaxinim's chest, Pac's hoodie getting even wetter again and still as he wrapped his arms around him.

"I know, I know."

Guaxi wrapped his arms tighter around the boy, hushing gently into Milo's dusty brown hair, hat now discarded, tears running down his own face once more.

"Pai."

A barely audible voice suddenly spoke up from somewhere in Guaxi's collarbone after some amount of time he didn't care to figure out.

"Eu sei, mininim, eu também sinto falta dele."

Milo gently shook his head, tapping the older's chest where his fist was still holding the blue and yellow fabric, looking up with barely dryer eyes.

"No?"

"Você também Pai."

Oh, and if that wasn't, oh.

"Posso ser isso para você, se você quiser, é claro, filho."

He felt a very small, very sleepy, nod into his chest.

Guaxinim shifted to unfold his legs, keeping the boy against his body, and adjusted them both to lay down.

Milo with stains of once there tears on his cheekbones and almost completely asleep laying across the adult's torso.