#guardianfics

Guardian/Zhen Hun, WeiLan

~

"Tell me, professor," Zhao Yunlan says, apropos of nothing, as he watches Shen Wei cook something that smells absolutely mouthwatering. "If one were to consider courting a Dixingren, how should one go about it?"

He doesn't expect the sudden cluttering noise, as Shen Wei drops the stirring spoon, but the way Shen Wei's ears go beet red is something he'd anticipated and delights in. "Well?" he prompts, only mostly teasing.

Shen Wei sighs, deep, long-suffering. Without turning to face Zhao Yunlan, he asks, calmly, "Does Chief Zhao have someone in particular in mind?" Perhaps too calmly.

Guardian/Zhen Hun, WeiLan

~

"Let's get married."

They sit, forehead to forehead, arms around each other, in the entryway to the SID headquarters, alive and breathless with it.

Shen Wei raises his eyes, looks at Zhao Yunlan in wonder. "What?"

Zhao Yulan grins, nuzzles his nose against Shen Wei's. "Shen Wei ah. Xiao Wei ah. Let's get married."

For once, the others are quiet, although they seem ready to vibrate out of their skin. Zhao Yunlan appreciates their rare moment of tact.

"Well?" he prompts, when Shen Wei is just as quiet as the rest.

Guardian/Zhen Hun, WeilLan

~

“Never do that again.”

After everything, it’s barely a whisper, but it’s both a plea and an order. 

Shen Wei looks into Zhao Yunlan’s eyes, sees the pain and desperation there, and knows exactly what he’s talking about.

Guardian / Zhen Hun / Zhao Yunlan POV / WeiLan

~

“Come to me anytime you want. Today’s your first day officially joining us, I worry that you’ll be too excited to sleep.” 

Zhao Yunlan is just getting ready for bed when there’s a knock on his door. He’s only been half-expecting it, if he’s being completely honest, not really daring to get his hopes up, but unable to help himself. 

When he opens the door, it’s to the softest he’s seen Professor Shen in all the time he’s known the man. The shirt he's wearing is casual, simple, a dusty, powder blue, and it looks almost delicate to the touch. Zhao Yunlan wants to reach out and run his fingers over it, see for himself how it feels. (The pants that go with the shirt look just as soft, and Yulan tries very, very hard not to imagine them on his bedroom floor.)

For once, Zhao Yunlan doesn’t feel underdressed around Shen Wei. "Professor Shen," he says, a smile on his face. "What a surprise. Do come in."

Shen Wei ducks his head, the tips of his hair slightly damp, and steps inside. He's not wearing his glasses, Yunlan vaguely notes.

The professor looks around the room (a lot cleaner now, thanks to him, than it used to be), and says, not meeting Zhao Yunlan's gaze, "I couldn't sleep."

Zhao Yunlan chuckles at that, both helplessly fond, and highly amused. A little hot around the collar, too, but he pushes that down. For now.  “I see,” he says, stepping away from the closed door. “Well, then. Please tell me what I can do to help.” And then, because he is an unrepentant tease, he adds, ducking around Shen Wei to meet his eyes, “I mean, I have a few ideas, but I’ll leave it up to you.” 

Shen Wei looks at him, and for a long eternity of a moment, Zhao Yunlan loses himself in the complicated look on the man’s face, his heart a wardrum in his ears.

And then Shen Wei sighs, closing his eyes. The way all tension seems to leave his shoulders is all the forewarning Zhao Yunlan gets before he’s being pushed back against a wall and kissed to within an inch of his life. 

Guardian / Zhen Hun / Zhao Yunlan POV / WeiLan

~

"I dare you to look me in the eyes and say that again," Zhao Yunlan says, whirling around to face the other, all but shoving a finger in his face.

Shen Wei is wide-eyed, caught by surprise. Without his glasses, he looks younger, more vulnerable (the expression 'deer caught in headlights' comes to mind) in this moment. "I…" 

"If you can say it when my back is turned, if you can say it when you think I'm sleeping," and there's the flinch, the guilty hunching of the shoulders, the bent head, and dammit if Zhao Yunlan doesn't want to grab Shen Wei and shake him until he stops being an idiot. "Then you can say it to my face, too."

"I'm sorry-"

"Don't say you're sorry! Just say it again, what you said just now. Say it again. Say it properly."

"I can't-"

"Like hell you can't! Shen Wei… Xiao Wei." If he has to beg, he will. Zhao Yunlan isn't quite as vain as people think he is, nor is he insecure. But sometimes, things, especially important ones like these, need to be said, need to be clear. "Please."

Shen Wei shudders, a frisson of… something, Zhao Yunlan doesn't know what, coursing through him visibly. He looks down at their feet, and Zhao Yunlan has to physically keep himself from reaching out and gently raising his face up to meet his gaze. 

Another shudder, before Shen Wei's shoulders slump. "I love you." 

Zhao Yunlan waits, though his heart thunders in his chest. Ah, ah, ah, this man will be the death of me. "Xiao Wei."

Shen Wei finally, finally lifts his gaze to meet Zhao Yunlan's. "I do love you. I have for… so long."

Guardian / Zhen Hun / Zhao Yunlan / WeiLan

 ~

Well, can't say I saw this coming, Zhao Yunlan thinks, dazed, his back digging almost painfully into the rocky cliffside behind him. 

The kiss, innocent though it is, is almost harsh in its desperate sincerity. Shen Wei's fists are white-knuckled against the fabric of Zhao Yunlan's tunic, his eyes are tightly shut, and his hair is almost wild, a halo around his shoulders. His lack of experience is both obvious and charming. 

It's just, Zhao Yunlan really hadn't expected this. 

Sure, he could see the younger Shen Wei's crush ("admiration" as everyone has politely taken to calling it), anyone with working eyes and a vague knowledge of the man could see it, but, he hadn't expected him to actually act on it. Hell, even his own Shen Wei, the one ten thousand years older and wiser and craftier, hadn't taken that step yet. It makes Zhao Yunlan's head spin.

"Xiao Wei," he manages to mumble against the other's (soft, cold) lips, and the kiss pauses for a heartbeat. Two. The air stands still around them. 

When Shen Wei lifts his eyes to meet Zhao Yunlan's, there's a war raging behind them, between the want for more, and the mortification at what he's just done. "I," he says, breath hitching a smidge. "Kunlun, I'm-" But Zhao Yunlan, as much as he's vowed to not take advantage of this pure, pristine Shen Wei, has his limits, too. 

Guardian/Zhen Hun, Zhao Yunlan, vaguely WeiLan

~

He comes to to pain in every corner of his body, and Shen Wei's (sweet, scared) voice in his ear, and Shen Wei's warm, sturdy grip on his hand.

And for a moment, Zhao Yunlan blearily thinks that things are looking up.

Guardian/Zhen Hun, WeiLan 

Warning: MCD & suicidal thoughts

~

His heart cracks and fractures and shatters as he watches Shen Wei fall, as he watches Ye Zun stab him, as he watches him smile that soft, stupid smile. 

The world dims, it darkens around the edges, and Zhao Yunlan...