So, as I rung in my 30th birthday this past March, I began to question where I am going in life. If my personal info needs to be said, just know I am a 30 year old who has no kids; my career is my child and right now, it's a preteen. I work for a restaurant baking cakes, cookies, custards, and sauces. My confections are still raw but I got potential. I got into this industry a little late in the game. However this culinary world became my escape, it also became the reason I can't have a normal life. I may have not seemed dedicated to some; a fuck up to others. Highly educated only means that so much more is expected out of me: in other words, so much more pressure is put on me. This world isn't for the thin skin. There is no one that can make me feel less than I already am. As I began this question of where I am going in life, I have to ask the first question: am I just being dramatic? Now what you may not know about the culinary world is that we all have this code. Basically, you got to be a beast in the kitchen; no room for weak links. You got to be better than the next person but you got to remain humble. The amount of pressure given to cooks is skyrocketing into this "Rock God" status. A cook gets too ahead of themselves and refers to themself as a chef without "earning" the title is an easy target for ridicule. We have a pecking order in the kitchen. Even if some have years over you, others have knowledge, or even worse, shows how much of a bad ass they are. Yes, this is a male dominated industry but some don't discriminate against women. Some of the toughest and talented are women. But I can ramble on... So as I began to look at my life, I came to the question: what can I do to change my direction, because I know what's wrong with my life? I feel like I am stuck. I am in a culinary rut. We all have them. And it's ok if we have these ruts. I feel like at times we try so hard to look "tough" or "strong" that we ignore that real reasons of our set backs. It isn't weak. Weak is knowing that you are in a rut and just give up. Just continue to be in normal 3am to 12pm shift. Knowing you may do more in the kitchen but it's just not worth working along side some truly idiotic co workers that don't know the difference between confit or corn flakes. But again I ask: am I being dramatic? With that question of dramatics, it drove me to wonder: since I can't change my co workers, how can I change myself? Now before you jump down my throat, here me out. Never allow others to define you, but if I am the reason for my own unhappiness, I need to make myself happy, right? With many conversations with my boyfriend, we came up with a plan. Growth. I feel most fulfilled in life when I am learning something. My outlook on life is so much more brighter when I am working on a mission. Besides working at my current location, I have taken up 2 more side jobs. One job I part time at a private club, just working 2 to 3 days a week but the chef is amazing about self enrichment. He believes that building yourself and surrounding yourself with the best is crucial to achieving success. I agree tremendously. The other job is actually myself. I am trying to build myself on Facebook. I have seen how everyone is building their brands. It's amazing how small business is growing in the digital world. Besides side jobs, books are going to be my next goal. Any good chef has cook books laying around. I will post some of the articles I read in the next coming weeks. I love to read and watch documentaries about food. We truly need to know what we put in our mouths. Well, tomorrow is my double day. Work the morning in one spot, baking in the afternoon at the other spot. Pics will be posted later via Instagram!
