#group response

MTT: "While my new form is an undeniable upgrade, my experience as Mettaton 1.0 proved that there's a huge market for rectangular entertainers. As there should be!"

R: "First off, it's not like we picked 'em, okay?"

A: "Technically-"

R: "No, shut up, your name didn't really change." *clears throat* "Anyway, Adam named us, and I guess when we were first created, Lefty stood next to me. From his perspective, Lefty was on the left and I was on the right, so, Lefty and Righty."

L: "It turns out we stand that way because I'm right handed and she's left handed, though."

R: "Yeah, which... whenever Adam saw us with our weapons, he'd always get confused what he named us. So. Yeah."

L: "The rest are named for things Adam liked. I think."

T: "I thought I was named for my bouncy personality."

R: "... there's an implication here that boobs and/or tits-"

L: "They're the same thing."

R: "-can bounce. Can they bounce?"

T: "If they're big enough, yeah. How have you not noticed?"

R: "I'unno. Not a priority? Who has the biggest bust out of the Exorcists?"

L: "Tits does."

A: "And you know that just off the top of your head, huh?"

L: "And you were named for the dumb shit you say, headass."

A: "Oh, kitty's suddenly got claws."

T: *smothering a chuckle* "She's got a point, though, Ass. You've always been a bit of an asshole, even when you were Butt."

A: "Blow me."

J: "I, uh, guess that just leaves me-"

R: "Oh, yeah, Junior was named after his idol, Vaggie. It's a long story but we just call him Junior now."

J: "That's not-"

T: "Yeah, @ask-vaggie isn't super pumped about it, but she's kinda like his mom anyway, so it's fine. Charlie's cool with it."

J: "But before-"

A: "Honestly, he lives up to it. Vaggie was always a little different in Heaven, and he's a little different down here. Probably need someone like that around to keep the rest of us from going crazy."

J: "... so we're just going to ignore-"

R, L, T, & A: "YES."

J: "... okay."

"Dont'cha want to help out your old friend, Flowey?"

Undertale FantasyFount (Undertale Pacifist Neutral Ending Dark Words AU + Ask Blog!)

@damian-morningstar

R: "Well, you can always find someone running around the hotel! Between group activities, generalized mayhem, and utter shenanigans, there's always something happening!"

A: *cackles in the background*

L: "... should we be concerned?"

R: "Like I said! Generalized mayhem! Would you like to check in, Damian?"

J: "We can probably fit you into the water polo game happening later today. It's floor versus floor, so which floor you end up on determines your team!"

R: "What d'ya say?"

T: "Why are you so pleased with yourself?"

A: "Once again, out of all of us, I'm the one who's read the Bible."

T: "... well, that sounds ominous."

I just… Well, even if you're not a citizen of heaven anymore I think I'd still enjoy making you happy!

@ask-emily-em-emmy

A: "Hey, I-" *stops, clears throat* "Look, I just- I got you in trouble so... I was trying to take accountability for that. I wasn't trying to start a fight with Sera. Just... you shouldn't be the one getting in trouble for me fucking up."

A: *rubs at the back of her neck* "But... it's, uh, good to hear from you. How's... things been up in Heaven?"

T, L, J, & R: 👀 👀 👀 👀

I’m Peter

@ask-peter

A: “Hey man, how’s my old uniform treating ya? Fits alright?”

J: “Old uniform?”

A: “Yeah, he’s an Exorcist now. I guess things have changed since Lute became Commander.”

J: “I’m… I’m gonna take a minute.”

R: “Oh, hey Charlie, why are you wearing an Exorcist uniform?”

L: “Wow, that face blindness thing is an extreme case for you, huh?” *shakes head* “Anyway, hey @ask-peter, are you here to check in?”

T: “Timeout. If he’s an Exorcist, what’s he doing here? Did someone leave the portal open? Did Via manage to bust her way into Heaven?”

L: “That’s… a good point. Peter, how did you end up here?”

J: "... I feel like this question is not directed at me."

R: "Yeah, kinda tipped your hand there, buddy."

T: "... is it too early to say Charlie?"

L: *goes to object but pauses*

R: "I'll be honest, mine's Chief. I mean, Vaggie's awesome but like... Chief is Chief."

L: "Charlie is catching up, though."

A: "You two are so easy. All anyone needs to do to get on your good side is call you by your actual fucking names. That's both hilarious and... kinda depressing."

R: "We have exceptionally low bars."

J: "Wait, Vaggie can't tell you two apart?"

L: "She can, but she used to call us Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Doofus. You know, back when she was doing the whole 'I'm better than you, remember that' thing."

R: "She's so much nicer now."

J: "Man, she never did that to me."

T: "What about you, Ass?"

A: "I'm adopted."

T: "Uh..."

L: "No, she understands the question; she's just being..."

A: "Say it."

L: *sigh* "An ass."

A: "Hell yeah!" *pauses* "But, I mean, if I had to pick one, Chief. Pretty sure Vaggie would've let Adam nuke me decades ago out of apathy and Charlie would've tried like..." *makes vague gesture* "She's already trying to get me to stop cursing as much."

L: "Unsurprisingly, the woman who was effectively our only guiding light for over two centuries and kinda liked us wins for most of us."

T: *looks around nervously*

R: "Chill, Tits, we get it. You and Charlie have the whole group activities thing going on. That, and Chief still scares the shit out of you."

T: "Yeah, she kinda does..."

A: "It's kinda funny, though, that Chief- who is an Exorcist just like us- scares us more than, like... any fucking Overlord in Hell."

R: "I mean, in our defense, she also scares most of the Overlords."

R: "Well, Lefty and I use halberds. Nothing fancy."

L: "We've fought side-by-side since the beginning, so we're used to how long they are and we can even use them in tight spaces. Not to brag but we're probably the best polearms duo ever."

R: "Still wouldn't challenge Vaggie to a fight, though."

A: "I've got a huge, heavy fuckin' battle axe. I can technically get both hands on the handle but I usually use it one handed. Everyone else goes for stabbing but I'm more of a decapitation gal."

T: "I used to use a glaive but I switched to a warhammer a few decades ago. Um, don't- don't go around telling anyone, but, uh, I kinda got... bored? Using the glaive? I mean, the Righteous Fury of the Exterminations had died out long before then and it was just a slog so I tried switching it up. Warhammer s require a lot more effort to... kill a Sinner with so... yeah. Not exactly something I'm proud of, all things considered."

L: "You do look good using it, though."

T: "Aw, thanks! Chief always thought I was wasting my time with such an inefficient weapon."

J: "... I used to use an ax but uh... I have something different now."

A: "Different- you came down here with an ax, dude, how do you have something different now?"

J: "Charlie pays us a salary so... I figured I could order a custom weapon." *pause* "Um, I asked Miss Carmine for an angelic kusarigama."

A: "What the fuck is a kusarigama?"

J: *pulls out his weapon*

A: "... alright, disdain retracted, that looks sick as fuck."

J: "It makes me feel really cool using it. I haven't had to kill anyone with it yet, though."

R: "I wonder if we should all order custom weapons. Kinda symbolically reclaiming ourselves in a way?"

A: "Hell yeah, I'm getting a chainsaw."

T: "What?"

A: "A motherfucking chainsaw!"

L: "Absolutely not."

J: "I also got a sniper rifle-"