#grounded anon

vi anon

Heyy, it’s Vi

Your reply helped soso much I honestly really needed it. (I have it screen-shotted and whenever I go through my favorites it always makes my day.

I had completely forgotten that I didn’t have to be sure of myself and could decide I was one thing and that I wasn’t that the next day.

I’ve been more involved with the LGBT+ community as of now and I have a few questions:

What exactly does it mean to be trans? I thought it was just mtf or ftm but there’s a lot of enbys and other genders who are trans as well. Is it just being not agab?

What pronouns do I use while referring to genderfluid people when idk what prns they r using rn?

I also struggle a lot with not assigning someone’s agab if they aren’t cis. So overall how do I be a better ally to genderqueer people?

On an unrelated note- how did you filter tags on your blog?(the click here to only see __ content)

Hi hon! I'm so glad I could help a little <3

You're exactly right. It's anyone who identities as a gender they were not assigned at birth. So a nonbinary person can choose to identify as trans, because they are not the gender they were assigned at birth. HOWEVER, it's important to make sure you ask someone how they identify. Some nonbinary people don't like using the term 'trans' for themselves and that's okay!

It's always best to ask! A simple 'hey, what pronouns are you using today?' or 'hey, what pronouns should I default to?' is not offensive and most people appreciate it!

And same for this question! Ask pronouns and do your best to respect them. You can even ask the person if they want you to correct others or not (some people appreciate that, some do not). But all genderqueer people are different so, the best thing to do is ask them! "how can I support you?" I know tht question would make be feel really supported <3

And to filter tags, I go to my blog, search a tag that I purposely use on all of those types of posts, and then copy the link at the top of the resulting page to use as the link. If you make sure to use the same tag on one type of post, it's the best way to filter out posts on your blog!

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necessary evil anon (new)

ai is starting to feel like a necessary evil, and i hate it. i can’t even search anything on google without it turning into a gemini search, so at this point, it’s starting to feel pointless to even turn to google. since ai became popularized, i’ve seen how ai is incredibly helpful when it comes to niche questions or outputting a solution that’s more detailed than anything a search engine could ever churn out. you don’t have any way to look over the assignment you need to submit? you turn to ai. you can’t find the research paper that has the theory that you need to cite? you ask ai. you have this hyper-specific situation that you need help with? open an ai chat. you want an objective opinion on something? just go to ai. and these are just the practical applications of it, the ones that we need. i tried explaining to my friend (formerly pro-ai, now extremely conscious about it) that sometimes, using ai is necessary because it’s a helpful tool, but they were adamant that it’s not. i hate using ai, i’ve always been anti-ai, because it’s replacing human intelligence with the way people are overusing it, not to mention the effect it has on the climate. however, i’ve ended up having to use it on so many occasions, simply because there’s nothing else i can turn to. usually, i’d use google, but even that’s no longer ai free. the growing dependency on ai is making it impossible to not use it, even if we overlooked the fact that it’s capable of being useful. it irritates me to no extent because it’s undeniable that in many ways, ai has made life better. it’s technological advancement, except it’s being abused to no end. ai was built to be an assistant, not a ghost-creator. i wish there was a way that ai could be used without impacting the climate because it’s advancement for humanity, at the end of the day. i think there’s a certain nuance to it, because ai shouldn’t be destroyed, but it exerts much more influence than it should.

AI is definitely making itself difficult to ignore.

I think it's hard because you're right that it can be useful. But also we have to remember that it's not always accurate when we use it for those things. When someone blindly uses it, expecting it to be 100% correct, it can be super dangerous. Also, I think at this point, the negative impacts (hurting the environment, taking away from jobs that should require intelligence) are extremely worrying. But I think you're right that it's very difficult to avoid. It's hard, and I really wish that we as a society would think about if we SHOULD before we get excited that we CAN do things.

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grounded anon

Hi!

Grounded anon

Hi!

Okay when you see your ex I think it's really important that you have an honest conversation with her. Tell her what you told me! That it isn't her fault, that you're worried for her, that you don't want to ruin the friendship...you don't have to be profound or good with words. You just have to be honest and genuine. I think, too, you should try to push her to get some help. She's not coping well and that's NOT YOUR FAULT but you're probably not the best person to help her rn, because you're part of the situation. Can you push her to talk to an adult she trusts? Remind her that it's okay to talk about these things and it's okay to need a support system. She may be feeling guilty and need people to tlk to and that's okay. <3 Just encourage her to express those feelings with her words, you know? And also, if she really seems like she's not doing well, it might be good for YOU to tell someone. You can only do so much, and adult might be able to help more.

Make sure you stay healthy as well!

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midnights anon

Hi! Uhm, it's been a while lol. I hope you're doing well :D

I just wanted to come back and say thank you for all the times you've listened to me vent and ramble and struggle, and thank you for all the advice you've given :] I also hoped you'd be happy to hear that things are going much better for me as of late

I joined a new fandom of a show that actually, like, makes me feel really passionate and happy (I also started writing my first fanfic ever, which has been fun!). I don't feel a lot of dysmorphia as much as I used to, and I'm starting to actually like my body. I'm halfway through the summer after sophomore year, and I have been told that it was the hardest year of my high school (like, the principal said this year is hard because the curriculum from freshman year "wasn't adequate preparation for sophomore year"- a direct quote from him), so I'm glad it's over

I started painting again, and it's made me feel a lot more grounded and creative. I started going to the flea markets and stuff around me more often, which has been fun (I got an $800 camera for 50 bucks the first time I went, which was SO exciting)

I've been messaging back and forth with this person my age who's looking for a guitarist to be in their band, and they said they liked my playing style, which felt really awesome! I learned how to make 2 of my favorite cultural dishes, and then I wrote a poem about it (and it made my mom cry, but she says it made her cry in a good way, so yay i think?)

Wrote to my penpal a second time and the letter is (hopefully) arriving at her house in a few days, and a different penpal just sent me their first letter, so I'm writing my reply for her right now. Both of them have helped improve my German a ton (like, I didn't even realize German had grammatical cases and forms just like Ancient Greek or Latin??? Also apparently there are literary tenses and spoken tenses that function completely differently???) Oh also I finished my two years of honors Ancient Greek, and I'm taking college French next year which I'm excited about!

I taught myself how to take my city's train system, and rode from the library to a really popular street 1 stop over, and then to my mom's office 3 stops away from that.

And there are a few other things as well but I think I've rambled on long enough. Things get bad still, and feel really rough at times, but I feel a lot stronger. (I'm 1 year and 5 months clean!) I'm really happy to be alive :]

Sooo, thank you for listening, and I hope you have an amazing day. Byeeeee!

--midnights anon

Hi! <3 It's so so good to hear from you! And even BETTER to hear about how well you're doing. It's so awesome to hear about all of your fantastic coping skills, and I'm so proud of how far you've come. I'm so incredibly happy you're alive as well <3

grounded anon

I got broken up with :/ I texted my now ex, woah I have an ex now scary, this morning, i wont say what but she called me and was like 'hey girl, i think your ace, I'm not, I think we're better off as friends' I said okay and she hung up. I didn't even cry. My other friend called me before I jumped into the shower and was like 'hey (friends name) called my sobbing you good?? Why did yall break up??' and I said 'i think I'm ace and (friends name) isn't so yeah, better off as friends.' I just feel bad I made her cry, honestly. I don't want to be the cause of my friends sadness. I had been uncomfortable for a while, though, and I think its good I said something. She had noticed a bit last time I was at her house but I had brushed it off. On a positive note, my mom went to alaska for two weeks so now I get the house (mostly) to myself! I have to watch my disabled older brother, but I don't mind. He had been on an extreme violent streak (i have scars on my wrist and leg from where he scratched me) for two weeks but I figured it out. His iPad, which he uses to communicate, wasn't working right. I had been the only one that noticed he hadn't touched his ipad in those two super violent weeks, and pointed it out. I of course fixed the ipad and now he's as happy as a clam. I finally get to leave the house, which is great. My mom is an extreme hobit, so I never get to leave the house. It had been grating on my nerves, so I'm glad I'm getting to leave the house with my dad now.

no homophobia from either parent in months. Being in a time of peace feels odd. My mom keeps talking about how I'll fall in love with a nice southern man, yada yada, and its like mom do we not remember last year when you screamed at me for being a lesbian what do you think changed besides my trust in you

anyway, hope you enjoy me popping up every few months. I started an online journal, but sometimes getting advice from a non biased third party is nice.

hope you're doing well, see you in probably a few months when the next big thing happens, -grounded anon

Hi!

Okay first of all, as far as your ex, that's not your fault and you shouldn't feel bad! Yes, it sucks for everyone involved, but it's better to be honest about your needs. If you weren't, it would've lead to MUCH more hurt down the road. Breakups are hard and it's not surprising that she's sad, but that's not something you CAUSED. it just...happened. things don't work out, and that's okay. I promise, she will get past it, and it's for the best.

I'm glad your mom is gone for a bit, and I'm proud of you for figuring out the problem with your brother but omg! I'm mad that your parents aren't protecting you from getting hurt! That really shouldn't be your responsibility, I'm so sorry...at least you get some time to breathe now. I'm glad things are a bit better. And yes I do like getting updates! No pressure to give them of course, but it's good to know you're well. Online journaling is a fantastic coping mechanism, as well <3

Sending love!

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genderfluid/nonbinary anon (new)

Hey cas, i think im genderfluid/nonbinary but i don't know how to know for certain and i think im struggling to accept it as well. For context, I've been questioning on and off for 2-3 years now, ever since i got more involved with the queer communtiy after deciding i was asexual. I was never really exposed to the idea of being trans/not on the gender binary as a kid, and my family generally speak negatively about trans people as well.

I know that there are things about myself that i don't like, but i don't know if that's because of gender or the way i view myself (or both). For example, I've always hated my name. I used to say when it's written down it looks like a smile on the paper, and that that feels wrong. I think what i really meant was that it looks feminine, and it doesn't fit me because I'm not a girl. But then there's another part of my brain which says it could actually be because i don't see myself as a particularly good person, which is true. I've also never liked how i look in photos until i cut my hair short a few months ago, and i know when i look in the mirror something isnt right, but i can't really pinpoint what. I know i don't want to be a boy, but i think i want to look more masculine. I don't think i want to be a girl either, but then my brain tells me im just misogynistic and perpetuating gender roles. Maybe I'm being attention seeking and "not like the other girls", and maybe I'm just not a girl at all.

I have a friend who recently came out as nonbinary (who i also unhelpfully kinda had a crush on) and I'm scared that I'm trying to be attention seeking, or copying them somehow. If i do decide I'm trans, i feel like i wont be able to come out to my friends properly in case they think I'm trying to overshadow them somehow, especially since not all of our friends seem to be respecting their pronouns, which sucks. I'm sort of out to some of my better friends who are also on tumblr, as i have my pronouns in my bio, but i haven't said anything beyond that, and the thought of doing so with anyone, especially family, honestly makes me feel ill. I hate the idea of disappointing my parents, and other family, to the extent that i hide a lot of who i am from them, and never even talk to them properly because I'm scared I'll show them that all the things they look down on other people for apply to me too. Gender is just another part of the problem, and i don't know if its worth sacrificing their approval of me in order to maybe feel better about myself, and that's all without the way the rest of society treat trans people right now. It's like my options are either that im a bad person, or that im about to become a massive burden to everyone i know, and myself, which isn't great.

(oops, this was very dramatic, you can blame my brain for that)

Hello my dear!

Let me be the first to tell you that you are spiralling.

You're right in a lot of what you're saying-coming out can be scary and have negative consequences. But also...a lot of the things you think will happen might not happen at all! Also, you don't have to do it all at once! You're allowed to like, soft launch being nonbinary.

For example. You've already cut your hair short, right? What if you just started trying to wear some different clothes? You don't have to give any explanations to why. Or if you do, just say you're trying a new style. Same with pronouns or a name. If you want to change those, you don't have to change them with everyone. You said you have some friends who are more supportive. Start with those friends and tell them you want to TRY different pronouns and/or a new name. Explain that you're unsure and you just want help trying.

And then see how you feel! If you like it, then you have the reassurance that you're doing the right thing before you move on to sharing this part of yourself with others. If you don't....well, now you know!

forcing into the closet anon (new)

hi, sorry, i was hoping youd have some advice, i came out to my parents as a trans guy a few weeks ago and they're bassically forcing me back into the closet. I don't know what to do. I can't keep living like this

-✨

Hi!

I am so so sorry this is happening to you, my heart breaks for you. Can you give me a little more details? How are they forcing you into the closet? Are they hurting/threatening you? I'm just asking because I want to make sure to give you the most helpful advice possible.

I'm sending you love!

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grounded anon

hi! <3

as far as being asexual, I think he important thing to remember is to not try anything with your girlfriend unless you're comfortable. Make sure you're doing it for you, and because you want it. It's okay to be unsure right now, but don't push yourself into things you're not ready for. Attraction is so fucking complicated nd I can't tell you who you're attracted to, but I can tell you that you ALWAYS have the power to say no.

And your brother...um, wtf? Do you parents know? Are they going to do anything? Your safety is important and if they aren't doing anything then that's neglect. I'm so sorry you're being treated this way <3

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twin sister anon

oh my god, you've had the week from hell! I am so so sorry that you've dealt with all this. I'm also so incredibly proud of you for reaching out to your friends when you needed help.

aroace kiss anon (new)

hello!! this may be a little odd but like do you think it'd be okay to make out with someone if i'm aroace? i had one girlfriend when i was 11 and we did stuff but i've never actually been kissed except for tiny kisses with my best friend. since my first girlfriend which was like many many years ago i've obviously realised thats not really my scene. (redacted)

i'm in a pretty big group now and it means lots of parties and meeting new people. no guys have ever really been into me except older guys who i quickly shut down and as someone who is masc and likes presenting as queer i'd really like to kiss a guy. not dating, just making out. i dont want to hurt anyone by not being attracted to them, i just want human connection and any experience and as bad as this sounds i want to know someone can be attracted to me.

is it bad if i makeout with someone i dont like just for the experience? i dont even know who i'd do it with tbh.

Hi! I don't think there's anything wrong with that at all, as long as you're not deceptive about your intentions. Like obviously there should NEVER be any expectation for more when you do something with anyone, right? But at the same time, if someone who clearly has a crush on you asks you out or initiates something, that might not be the person to kiss, because it could lead to hurt feelings. Instead, you could try just kissing someone at a party where it's clearly just for fun or kissing a friend where you've communicated beforehand that it's for fun. Just make sure you're safe and don't go somewhere with a stranger to kiss them! But yeah, plenty of people like to make out just for fun, nothing wrong with that!

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practical ai anon (new)

cas sometimes i feel bad for having this opinion, but i don’t think ai is completely awful? i don’t support creators using ai to write or make art or whatever. on the other hand, sometimes ai can actually be pretty useful. some ais, not all, give pretty good information or sources especially for research or stuff which i haven’t been able to find even after hours of using search engines. i also use it sometimes to look over my answers or writing (i don’t use whatever it generates, but it has suggested corrections before that have actually helped). i don’t like the constant reliance on ai for everything, because that’s just like, a refusal to think for yourself because you’re lazy and need everything spoon fed to you, but it’s an effective thing to use if you use it right in my opinion. like if i can’t understand something or need study guides or want to be quizzed, ai is more helpful than whatever i find on google. so i mean i get the whole personal data thing (which is why i never use it with my main account) and the water wastage thing, but i don’t think ai can or should be rejected completely. as long as it doesn’t become a crutch instead of an assistant, ai is in a lot of ways, genuine scientific progress, and it’s more practical to utilize it instead of criticizing it.

Hi!

Yeah I think a lot of people share that opinion. I guess the worry is that there won't be enough research and training into how to use it right. Humans as a species tend to enjoy instant gratification so I think the majority of people won't take the time to use AI like you do, and that scares me, you know? But yeah, I can respect that opinion, definitely.

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grounded anon

speech anon (new)

hi

So i don't really know how to explain stuff but here we are. So I go to stem school and I also live in one of the most rigours areas in the usa academics wise. My whole life I've been surrounded by all these smart people and I have always been the least smart in my group of friends. Like elementary I went to a choice school with a huge gifted program then I went to a rigours private middle school and now I'm literally at a stem academy. I'm not stupid by any means but I always have the lowest grades of all my friends and it's fine I'm used to the middle of the road psat scores, not making it in all the prestigious competitions, all the science fair, Evey single "important" thing our school awards and does. I spend so much of my time cheering on my fucking impressive friends. However the one thing I don't suck at is writing. I write a lotttttt and recently we had a speech contest and I spent literally 2 weeks straight working on mine and most of my friends did it super duper last minute and the 15 semi finalists came out today and 3 of my friends didn't make it (close friend group of five) but I knew one of them was gonna take it hard because that's the type of person she is. But here's the thing I just can't even talk about my speech atp she runs away if I talk about it and I feel really really bad genuinely but I'm just I'm sad. I just I want to be proud of this one thing I don't absolutely suck at but I can't even bring it up and it's fine I understand why she's upset I just I'm always the one cheering her on and I guess I wish I could celebrate inside of comfort her but that is probably selfish

Hi! I don't think this is selfish at all! I think you deserve to be recognized for your accomplishments and talents, especially if you have been cheering on your friends for so long. Like-friendships shouldn't be about keeping score but also you SHOULD be able to rely on your friends. Your friend is allowed to feel sad that she's not a finalist while still being happy for you and I think that's where she's in the wrong. Just like you can be sad if you don't win the science fair while still being happy for a friend who wins.

I think you'd be within your rights to say something. I'm not sure if it would help (it depends on what type of person your friend is) but it might make you feel better to share your emotions. Just make sure that you don't come off as accusatory. Simply say how you feel. You can your friend that she absolutely can be sad but it's not fair that she's not supporting you...because it's not fair!

Congratulations on being a finalist!

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healthy disagreement anon (new)

What does it mean when people say “all good friendships/relationships have arguments”? Whenever I happen to have an argument with my family, it’s because they don’t think I should be sad about anything and yell at me. Whenever I have an argument with my friends it’s about me gently bringing up “hey I feel left out a lot of the time” and being accused of manipulation, and then they continue to bring up how “toxic” I am when I’m upset. Other argument with friends are just me telling them about how they hurt me, like “hey when you said it’s my fault and I deserve to be ignored by our entire friend group that felt very hurtful, especially since you also vent to me about that specific friendship group. I am not okay with this” and them saying that I’m being toxic, and saying I “snapped for so reason”, and then continuing to bring up how I “snapped for no reason” and am “very mean randomly”, and they ignore everything I tried to tell them when they hurt me.

My newer/other friends (the ones I’ve made after distancing myself from the people mentioned before) I have are people I get a long really well with, and they quite literally never do anything that hurts my feelings, and I (think) I haven’t done anything to hurt them either… I can’t imagine being mildly irritated with them, let alone upset. So now I don’t really understand when people say everyone eventually argues with each other :(

In middle school all my friends hit me/were really cruel. Now the friends I mentioned in the first paragraph above are acting like the people who would hurt me. And now the newer friends are great and kind, but I don’t know what it means to have healthy disagreements

sorry if this makes no sense :( I just woke up

Hi! I'm so sorry that you're being treated like this-you don't deserve it.

I think healthy disagreements come when you feel comfortable and secure enough with a person to express your frustrations and different opinions with that person without being afraid they're going to leave or hurt you. Like with my wife, I feel comfortable telling her when she makes me annoyed or hurts me because I know she's not going to leave me because of my emotions. I feel comfortable sharing how I feel and what I need, even if it's something she disagrees with.

Unhealthy disagreements are when people turn arguments into personal attacks, into a competition to see who can hurt each other more (physically or emotionally). It's when people start threatening, giving ultimatums, or bringing up old things and triggers. You're no longer trying to solve a problem, you're creating more problems.

I think people say arguments are good because you don't want to be in a friendship or relationship where you can't bring up things that upset you. That leads to resentment, you know? But the argument needs to be healthy or it can just lead to trauma.

I hope this helps a little! <3

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galaxy anon

Hi Cas, it's galaxy anon!

SO much has happened since I last updated you, oh my god. So, as it turns out, he only went on one date with his ex, and I guess he decided that he didn't want to get back with her.

I had a week off school because I was ill, and on the Friday night, I got a text from one of my friends (who I'll call H) saying that she had something important to tell me and that she needed to call me ASAP.

We called, and she told me that one of my other friends, L, got into a talking stage with my ex while I was off school, and she wanted to wait until I came back so that she could ask if it was okay for her to go on a date with him. H said that she just wanted to make sure I knew so that it wouldn't be a huge shock when L asked me in person, which was incredibly sweet of her.

When I returned to school on Monday, I had a meeting with my teacher in the morning, so when she asked t talk to me, I said I needed to go and we could talk when she got back. Unfortunately, she insisted on walking me there so that we could talk. She told me what happened and asked if it was okay. I had a whole answer planned, but the walk was too short for me to be able to say everything I wanted to, so I ended up just saying that if it made her happy, I was fine with them dating as long as I didn't have to see him because I didn't want to talk to him, and she agreed.

But, yeah, it feels a bit weird to see them together, especially because they've only been going out for like a week and they're already hanging out everyday and posting each other an their Instagram stories, and we never did any of those things even after dating for a month. I don't know if I was just a bad girlfriend or too busy or he didn't love me as much as he likes her, but it just kinda sucks.

Anyway, I'm glad you're doing okay after the storm, and I hope you ieve a nice day!

Hi!

Ugh that's so hard. It was so nice of you to be cool about your friend dating your ex, and like...I get why you did. You don't own either of them and the drama is crazy either way. But also I get why it's awkward and hurtful for you.

Please, please try not to compare yourself to her. Your relationship with your ex and her relationship with him are two completely different things with SO many other factors than just his feelings for the two of you. You don't know what happens between the two of them behind closed doors, and it's not going to do you any good to compare yourself to her.

It's hard because like...it wouldn't be the move to change your mind. But you also might want to spend some time with other friends who aren't involved in this, just so you're not in the middle of it all the time, until things settle down. <3

Keep me updated if you want!

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grounded anon

i got my phone back after the arkansas trip??? like hwat??? im literally listening to music on it right now?? and i also have an amazing girlfriend??? who is also my bestfriend??? and its going great because nothing changed except we kiss?? and everything is going right??

i personally hate when everything is going right especially after a period of just hell because then i get suspicious

also i forget how homophobic people are here. My and gf were just minding our business in pe and it was a free day so i was resting my head in her lap (mind you this is a regular thing we do, we've been doing it long before we were dating) and these two girls who literally CHOOSE to sit beside us were like staring at us so i was like 'stop staring at us, weirdos' and the girl was like 'well it just makes ME really uncomfortable when you guys are like laying all over eachoter! so i said 'then stop staring, look away, move, idgaf just leave us alone' and they went on a whole schpiel before finally moving. its not like we were shoving our tongues down eachothers thorat??? we were just chilling and talking about books???

anyway probably not going to do many asks, this upcoming month we have an entire months worth of standardized testing plus easter, so religion and all that shit will be coming to bite my ass.

otherwise im doing great :D

-(UN) grounded anon

Yay, congrats on not being grounded!!! and omg things with your girlfriend sound awesome!! I'm sorry about the homophobes, that's really fucking annoying, but it sounds like you handled it super well-I'm proud of you.

I hope your tests go okay, and I'm happy to hear you're doing well!

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alone anon (new)

Hey cas, my family always treat me like im not there and when i am im just there to be snarky and like the generic angsty teen. And its gotten to the point where my brother can litro get out of anything and im stuck doing the things hes gotten out of. Its like i have to be perfect just so they notice me if you know what i mean. And its just too much. Everything i relied on it throwing me away to the point where i sit in my room feeling ill and alone.

Hi hon <3

Grounded anon

she kissed me

on the mouth

I REPEAT

she kissed me on the mouth

she asked ofc

i was joking that she hadn't kissed me all day and she was like 'i can't tell if your joking or not because i actually want to kiss you' and i was like 'idk' and she said 'do you want to?' and then we kissed

we kissed again before i left her house ('one more kiss for the road?')

it was nice

anyway its spring break once more. I was dreading it, but then i had two weeks worth of exams and suddenly i couldn't wait for spring break

we're going to arkansas on friday for our spring break trip, which is fun

thats all, just needed to gay panic for a moment. we still aren't dating, but we were cuddling on her bed while watching heathers the musical (2014 version, obvi) on her ceiling via projector. her sister joked about shipping us since she walked in on us multiple times just glued together. i think she does like me back, but whether ill do anything about it is the real question.

ignore me popping in every month, things have just been calmer lately

thanks for responding,

-grounded anon

update: we texted about it and she does in fact like me and now we're dating. The pining worked out

im so happy

-grounded anon

Ahhhh I’m so happy for you!

You two sounds so adorable and I’m so glad it worked out. I hope you have so much fun on your spring break trip!

Keep me updated if you want, I’d love to hear about how dating goes!

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Reef shark anon

Hi!

I’m so glad things went well! It sucks that they struggled at the beginning but it sounds like you had great doctors and I’m so happy you’re okay now! 

Sending you healing vibes!

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16 18 20 anon cw- implied abuse

Hi hon!

midnights anon

Hello, Cas! I hope you’re doing well

I’m having such a weird day today, like emotionally, and I have no clue why

I just woke up on the wrong side of the bed? I didn’t do any homework today since it’s Saturday and the thought of it just felt impossible, so i just did nothing after I went to training (and I also had a weird/bad time during karate. I felt so dysphoric and I really hated myself, but I have no idea why) and I feel all guilty and alone.

I’m thinking it’s probably the weather, since there’s a blizzard coming and so the sky’s all grey and stuff, and I think mentally whenever there’s unfortunate weather, my “feel happy” brain chemicals just shut off, and my brain just really wants to feel safe and cozy,

But all the cozy places are like, the library, or my favorite bookstore, etc., which i cant just go to since there’s a storm, so now i feel stuck and restless in my house. I just want agency I guess. I want to be able to choose who im stuck with, but I can’t, and i feel really trapped in my house right now :(

and it’s making me dissociate too. None of the things I’ve tried (writing, stretching, cooking, journaling, etc.) make me feel less alone and afraid. It’s to the level that like, every word that I say or write I can barely keep in my head, and I don’t know if anything I say makes any sense. It’s like everything just dissapears as soon as i think about it,

I just hope the weather’s less miserable soon :( thank you for reading my ramble

—midnights anon

Hi!

I'm so sorry youre having such a hard time rn. Feelings like this can definitely be made worse because of the weather, but it doesn't make them any less awful. I totally understand feeling restless and trapped- it sucks! Are there things at home you can do to take care of yourself? Maybe have some hot chocolate or take a warm shower?

I hope the weather gets better for you soon, but until then remember that it's okay to be gentle with yourself <3

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grounded anon

it was my birthday on the 16th, yippee

so uh, no chance of getting my phone back. my mom said that i was an asshole and a jerk when i had my phone so that sucks.

but to the main point you remember the whole bestfriend thing??? Its getting??? Worse???

so i got a haircut (which i look GREAT in btw) and my bsf loves it. She constantly plays with my hair and shit. So one day we're in gym getting our shit packed together and she says, completely serious 'this is what ovulating feels like' and its like excuse me??? Kiss me already??? and shes been doing this thing to where whenever i shake my head its like she melts and i genuinely can't tell if she genuinely like likes me or not. Also today i was at my friends bday party and she was there and we were all laying on my friends bed and she had her arm around me and she kissed me on the forehead and before that we were like sitting on eachothers lapsl

but also idk if i want to date her, yknow? Imo, dating in school is dumb because its not ever going to go anywhere, right? and also i don't want to ruin the friendship because shes literally the bestfriend ive ever had and were planning to go to college together and share a dorm and after that still live together and we've joked about getting married but idk. Idk anymore.

On to sadder topics, yeah no my mom is still being an ass. She's just constantly calling me a jerk and stuff and says i can't be reasonable because im a teenager. Idk, it sucks. I miss my phone

also with stranger things, HOLY QUEERBAIT????? that was some bullshit

ik i haven't done this in a bit, but idk. Being at school helps a bunch with the mental stuff. Thanks for responding to these

-grounded anon

Hi!

I'm sorry things are so rough with your mom right now. I feel like relationships with parents can be SO awful during teenage years and it's like...that's when you need parents the most! It sucks to hear that so many teenagers go through that.

With your friend...remember that you don't have to do anything you don't want to do! You both are in control of what happens! I think, whatever you decide, the important thing is to communicate with each other. Hurt and broken relationships are usually caused by a lack of communication, so being honest is key.

I'm glad school is helping with your mental health though! I think a lot of people thrive with routine.

Sending love!

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androgyne anon

i feel the same way i did when i wrote the ask you answered on 14th august. i feel so disconnected from the very concept of gender atp like i don’t even think about it. but i saw someone once say that their gender identity is weird but it’s also connected to the fact that they’re a black woman? i get it in the way that i’m a poc woman, and that is perhaps the most integral part of my identity alongside being queer? i feel like that sort of messes with my whole conception of my gender because i can’t imagine not being a poc woman because that is who i am, but it has nothing to do with being a woman in general? i’m having imposter syndrome again about being anything other than a girl again but i’m almost definitely not a girl like idek atp. like okay it’s not like not a girl but idk i don’t think i’m genderfluid? almost everyone who is genderfluid that i know is always talking about their confusion about how they get gender envy from both and like being pulled by both sides so they’re on a spectrum but while i do get gender envy it’s not necessarily a spectrum feeling? okay i’m pretty bad at explaining it clearly but it’s like their spectrum is this long thing and mine is like way shorter if the center of the spectrum is gender neutral/non binary. so i think i might just go with genderqueer or non binary because that might just be a better representation of how i feel and it feels less like imposter syndrome if that makes sense?

Hi! I think what you're saying makes a lot of sense, and you should remember that everyone's gender and experience with gender is unique. You are allowed to have a different take on the term 'genderfluid' than someone else, and that doesn't make it less valid.

But what you said about both feeling like a poc woman and not, I get that, to an extent. I am not a poc, but I am afab, and like...when you are raised as a woman, I think you always identify with the social struggles and joys of being a woman. Like the being treated differently, the worries, the unique things that women experience. I would imagine that being a poc woman adds to those unique experiences. So even though you might not identify as a woman, you were (and might still be) treated like one, and so you can identify with those struggles and experiences. It's odd to think about, but it makes sense, at least to me!